Chapter 46

_Eucl._

Nimium lubenter edi sermonem tuom.

Gratified, highly gratified with your discourse--I devoured it.

_Mega._

An audivisti?

Eh? you heard?

_Eucl._

Usque a principio omnia.

Every word of it.

_Mega._

Tamen meo quidem animo aliquanto facias rectius, si nitidior sis filiai nuptus. 540

(_looking him over_) But I say, though, I do think it would be a little more in keeping, if you were to spruce up a bit for your daughter’s wedding.

_Eucl._

Pro re nitorem et gloriam pro copia qui habent, meminerunt sese unde oriundi sient. neque pol, Megadore, mihi neque quoiquam pauperi opinione melius res structa est domi.

(_whining_) Folks with the wherewithal and means to let ’em spruce up and look smart remember who they are. My goodness, Megadorus! I haven’t got a fortune piled up at home (_peers slyly under cloak_) any more than people think, and no other poor man has, either.

_Mega._

Immo est quod satis est, et di faciant ut siet plus plusque et istuc sospitent quod nunc habes.

(_genially_) Ah well, you’ve got enough, and heaven make it more and more, and bless you in what you have now.

_Eucl._

Illud mihi verbum non placet “quod nunc habes.” tam hoc scit me habere quam egomet. anus fecit palam.

(_turning away with a start_) “What you have now!” I don’t like that phrase! He knows I have this money just as well as I do! The old hag’s been blabbing!

_Mega._

Quid tu te solus e senatu sevocas?

(_pleasantly_) Why that secret session over there?

_Eucl._

Pol ego ut te accusem merito meditabar.

(_taken aback_) I was--damme sir,--I was framing the complaint against you that you deserve.

_Mega._

Quid est? 550

What for?

_Eucl._

Quid sit me rogitas? qui mihi omnis angulos furum implevisti in aedibus misero mihi, qui mi intro misti in aedis quingentos coquos, cum senis manibus, genere Geryonaceo;

What for, eh? When you’ve filled every corner of my house with thieves, confound it! When you’ve sent cooks into my house by the hundred and every one of ’em a Geryonian[C] with six hands apiece!

quos si Argus servet qui oculeus totus fuit, quem quondam Ioni Iuno custodem addidit, is numquam servet. praeterea tibicinam, quae mi interbibere sola, si vino scatat, Corinthiensem fontem Pirenam potest. tum obsonium autem--

Why, Argus, who had eyes all over him and was set to guarding Io once by Juno, couldn’t ever keep watch on those fellows, not if he tried. And that music girl besides! She could take the fountain of Pirene at Corinth and drink it dry, all by herself, she could,--if it ran wine. Then as for the provisions--

[Footnote C: Geryon was a giant with three heads and bodies.]

_Mega._

Pol vel legioni sat est. 560 etiam agnum misi.

Bless my soul! Why, there’s enough for a regiment. I sent you a lamb, too.

_Eucl._

Quo quidem agno sat scio magis curiosam[12] nusquam esse ullam beluam.

Yes, and a more shearable beast than that same lamb doesn’t exist, I know that.

_Mega._

Volo ego ex te scire qui sit agnus curio.

I wish you would tell me how the lamb is shearable.

_Eucl._

Quia ossa ac pellis totust, ita cura macet. quin exta inspicere in sole ei vivo licet: ita is pellucet quasi lanterna Punica.

Because it’s mere skin and bones, wasted away till it’s perfectly--(_tittering_) sheer. Why, why, you put that lamb in the sun and you can watch its inwards work: it’s as transparent as a Punic[D] lantern.

[Footnote D: Perhaps of glass, of which the Phoenicians were reputedly the inventors.]

_Mega._

Caedundum conduxi ego illum.

(_protestingly_) I got that lamb in myself to be slaughtered.

_Eucl._

Tum tu idem optumumst loces efferendum; nam iam, credo, mortuost.

(_dryly_) Then you’d best put it out yourself to be buried, for I do believe it’s dead already.

_Mega._

Potare ego hodie, Euclio, tecum volo.

(_laughing and clapping him on the shoulder_) Euclio, we must have a little carouse to-day, you and I.

_Eucl._

Non potem ego quidem hercle.

(_frightened_) None for me, sir, none for me! Carouse! Oh my Lord!

_Mega._

At ego iussero 570 cadum unum vini veteris a me adferrier.

But see here, I’ll just have a cask of good old wine brought over from my cellars.

_Eucl._

Nolo hercle, nam mihi bibere decretum est aquam.

No, no! I don’t care for any! The fact is I am resolved to drink nothing but water.

_Mega._

Ego te hodie reddam madidum, si vivo, probe, tibi cui decretum est bibere aquam.

(_digging him in the ribs_) I’ll get you properly soaked to-day, on my life I will, you with your “resolved to drink nothing but water.”

_Eucl._

Scio quam rem agat: ut me deponat vino, eam adfectat viam, post hoc quod habeo ut commutet coloniam. ego id cavebo, nam alicubi abstrudam foris. ego faxo et operam et vinum perdiderit simul.

(_aside_) I see his game! Trying to fuddle me with his wine, that’s it, and then give this (_looking under cloak_) a new domicile! (_pauses_) I’ll take measures against that: yes. I’ll secrete it somewhere outside the house. I’ll make him throw away his time and wine together.

_Mega._

Ego, nisi quid me vis, eo lavatum, ut sacruficem.

(_turning to go_) Well, unless I can do something for you, I’ll go take a bath and get ready to offer sacrifice. [EXIT INTO HOUSE.

_Eucl._

Edepol, ne tu, aula, multos inimicos habes 580 atque istuc aurum quod tibi concreditum est. nunc hoc mihi factu est optumum, ut ted auferam, aula, in Fidei fanum: ibi abstrudam probe. Fides, novisti me et ego te: cave sis tibi, ne in me mutassis nomen, si hoc concreduo. ibo ad te fretus tua, Fides, fiducia.

(_paternally to object under cloak_) God bless us both, pot, you do have enemies, ah yes, many enemies, you and the gold entrusted to you! As matters stand, pot, the best thing I can do for you is to carry you off to the shrine of Faith: I’ll hide you away there, just as cosy! You know me, Faith, and I know you: don’t change your name, mind, if I trust this to you. Yes, I’ll go to you, Faith, relying on your faithfulness. [EXIT _Euclio_.

ACTVS IV