Chapter 13

Mouzon._

MADAME VAGRET. Well, I heard--he gave you back the brief.

VAGRET. Yes--his health--the newspapers--

MADAME VAGRET. And now?

VAGRET. Be careful. No one suspects anything yet.

MADAME VAGRET. Make your mind easy. [_She listens_] This time it is our guests.

BERTHA. [_entering_] Here they are.

MADAME VAGRET. To your work, Bertha! And for me the _Revue des Deux Mondes_.

_They sit down. A pause._

BERTHA. They are a long time.

MADAME VAGRET. It's Madame Bunerat. Her manners always take time.

THE MANSERVANT. His Honor the President of the Court and Madame Bunerat.

MADAME VAGRET. How do you do, dear Madame Bunerat? [_They exchange greetings_]

THE MANSERVANT. His Honor Judge La Bouzole. His worship Judge Mouzon.

_Salutations; the guests seat themselves._

MADAME VAGRET [_to Madame Bunerat_] Well, Madame, so another session's finished!

MADAME BUNERAT. Yes, at last!

MADAME VAGRET. Your husband, I imagine, is not sorry.

MADAME BUNERAT. Nor yours, I'm sure.

MADAME VAGRET. And the President of Assizes?

BUNERAT. He will be a little late. He wants to get away early to-morrow morning, and he has a mass of documents to sign. You must remember the Court has barely risen. When we saw that we should be sitting so late we sent for our evening clothes, and we changed while the jury was deliberating; then we put our robes on over them to pronounce sentence.

MADAME VAGRET. And the sentence was?

BUNERAT. An acquittal.

MADAME VAGRET. Again! Oh, the juries are crazy!

VAGRET. My dear, you express yourself just a little freely.

MADAME BUNERAT. Now, my dear Madame Vagret, you mustn't worry yourself.

_She leads her up the stage._

BUNERAT [_to Vagret_] Yes, my dear colleague, an acquittal. That makes three this session.

MOUZON [_a man of forty, whiskered and foppish_] Three prisoners whom we have had to set at liberty because we couldn't hold them for other causes.

BUNERAT. A regular run on the black!

LA BOUZOLE [_a man of seventy_] My dear colleagues would prefer a run on the red.

BUNERAT. La Bouzole, you are a cynic! I do not understand how you can have the courage to joke on such a subject.

LA BOUZOLE. I shouldn't joke if your prisoners were condemned.

MOUZON. I'm not thinking of our prisoners--I'm thinking of ourselves. If you imagine we shall receive the congratulations of the Chancellery, you are mistaken.

BUNERAT. He doesn't care a straw if the Mauleon Court does earn a black mark in Paris.

LA BOUZOLE. You have said it, Bunerat; I don't care a straw! I have nothing more to look for. I shall be seventy years old next week, and I retire automatically. Nothing more to hope for; I have a right to judge matters according to my own conscience. I'm out of school! [_He gives a little skip_] Don't get your backs up--I've done--I see the Year Book over there; I'm going to look out the dates of the coming vacation for you. [_He takes a seat to the left_]

BUNERAT. Well, there it is. [_To Vagret_] The President of Assizes is furious.

MOUZON. It won't do him any good either.

VAGRET. And my substitute?

BUNERAT. You may well say "your substitute"!

MOUZON. It's all his fault. He pleaded extenuating circumstances. He!

BUNERAT. Where does the idiot hail from?

VAGRET. He's far from being an idiot, I assure you. He was secretary to the Conference in Paris; he is a doctor of laws and full of talent.

BUNERAT. Talent!

VAGRET. I assure you he has a real talent for speaking.

BUNERAT. So we observed.

VAGRET. He's a very distinguished young fellow.

BUNERAT [_with emphasis_] Well! When a man has such talent as that he becomes an advocate; he doesn't enter the magistracy.

MADAME VAGRET [_to La Bouzole, who approaches her_] So really, Monsieur La Bouzole, it seems it's the fault of the new substitute.

MADAME BUNERAT. Tell us all about it.

LA BOUZOLE. It was like this. [_He turns towards the ladies and continues in a low tone. Bertha, who has entered the room, joins the group, of which Vagret also forms one_]

MOUZON [_to Bunerat_] All this won't hasten our poor Vagret's nomination.

BUNERAT [_smiling_] The fact is he hasn't a chance at the present moment, poor chap!

MOUZON. Is it true that they were really seriously thinking of him when there is a certain other magistrate in the same court?

BUNERAT [_with false modesty_] I don't think I--Of whom are you speaking?

MOUZON. Of yourself, my dear President.

BUNERAT. They have indeed mentioned my name at the Ministry.

MOUZON. When you preside at Assizes the proceedings will be far more interesting than they are at present.

BUNERAT. Now how can you tell that, my dear Mouzon?

MOUZON. Because I have seen you preside over the Correctional Court. [_He laughs_]

BUNERAT. Why do you laugh?

MOUZON. I just remembered that witty remark of yours the other day.

BUNERAT [_delighted_] I don't recall it.

MOUZON. It really was very witty! [_He laughs_]

BUNERAT. What was it? Did I say anything witty? I don't remember.

MOUZON. Anything? A dozen things--a score. You were in form that day! What a figure he cut--the prisoner. You know, the fellow who was so badly dressed. Cock his name was.

BUNERAT. Ah, yes! When I said: "Cock, turn yourself on and let your confession trickle out!"

MOUZON [_laughing_] That was it! That was it! And the witness for the defence--that idiot. Didn't you make him look a fool? He couldn't finish his evidence, they laughed so when you said: "If you wish to conduct the case, only say so. Perhaps you'd like to take my place?"

BUNERAT. Ah, yes! Ladies, my good friend here reminds me of a rather amusing anecdote. The other day--it was in the Correctional Court--

THE MANSERVANT [_announcing_] Monsieur Gabriel Ardeuil.