Part 7

THE MIGHTY LORD MAYOR.

Many people have the impression that the Lord Mayor of London is the greatest man in this kingdom. There is a line or two in an old song relating to a lover who did not like to pop the question to his girl. He said:--

"If I were a Lord Mayor, A Marquis or an Earl, Blowed if I wouldn't marry Old Brown's girl."

That represents a great deal of the feeling in this country about the magnificence of the position of the Lord Mayor of London.

_Newport Conservative Meeting, July 25th, 1901._

A DAY OF GREAT JOY.

It is a high honour, because it is the greatest that the Lord Mayor and Corporation have the power of conferring upon anybody. My only drawback is the fear that I cannot be worthy of the others whose names are on the roll of Cardiff's freemen. You know that comparisons are odious, and when you read the names on that list and compare mine with them, I hope you will look with leniency upon me. The Lord Mayor promised me just now that he would not be very long in his address and in his references to me on this occasion. At one moment I felt very much inclined to remind him of his promise, as the great King Henry IV did with a Lord Mayor who went on his knees to deliver the keys of the city. Without delivering them he rose from his knees and said, "I have twelve reasons for not yielding up the keys of the city. The first is that there are no keys." The King said, "That is quite enough; we don't want any more reasons." I felt inclined to stop the Lord Mayor and say, "You have said quite enough about me; I will take the remainder for granted."

I see no reason why I should not be civil to the members of the Corporation unless they are uncivil to me. I should probably then do what other people would do. The Lord Mayor has said that Glamorgan could not claim me as a Glamorgan man. Well, I was born in Glamorgan, at Ruperra Castle, on this side of the Rumney. I know that if a man is born in a stable it doesn't make him a horse, but I always understood that the place of your birth had a certain claim upon you.

It is not very long ago that I was discussing with somebody what I was going to do in the future, and I quoted the line from Shakespeare: "My grief lies onward, but my joy is behind." I think now that I spoke a little too soon, this day being one of great joy to me, as you can easily understand.

_Presentation of the Freedom of Cardiff to Viscount Tredegar, October 25th, 1909._

THE GOOD OLD ENGLISH OATH.

I never was good at personal abuse. I have got a good old-fashioned oath when I am angry--a good old English oath, good enough for most people--but that is only when I am very angry. And though we have been told that this is the greatest crisis we have ever seen, unfortunately I cannot get angry enough about it to abuse other people. But in the circumstances, if I am put to it, I think I would quote Falstaff, who said, "If any part of a lie will do me grace, I will gild it with the heaviest terms I have."

_South Monmouthshire Conservative Association, December 22nd, 1909._

PRAISE IN BUCKETSFUL.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, the celebrated American writer, said that when he was young he liked his praises in teaspoonfuls. When he got a little older he liked them in tablespoonfuls, and later on in ladles. I think I have had a good ladleful this afternoon. If I live a little longer, I should like it in buckets.

_Cardiff, September 14th, 1897._

AN EASY SOLUTION.

I have a notion by which we could be relieved of two wearisome questions. I should like the suffragettes to marry the passive resisters and go away for a long honeymoon.

_Servants' Ball, 1907._

A READY ANSWER.

Four or five years ago I received a letter from the War Office asking how many horses I would put at the service of Her Majesty in case of emergency. I wrote back and said, "All of them." By return of post I received a letter saying that I had given a very patriotic answer, but that it did not help them in the least; what they wanted to know was how many horses I could put upon the register. I sent back and registered eighteen horses. That was the whole of the Tredegar Hunt. Well, a couple of days ago I received a notice that all of those horses would be wanted. So if the Tredegar Hunt collapses suddenly, you will know the cause of it.

_St. Mellons Ploughing Dinner, October 12th, 1899._

WELCOME.

What a beautiful word is the English word "Welcome!" What a world of sympathy it expresses! It does not matter whether the welcome comes from a father, mother, brother, or sister, or from the girl of your own heart. It is always the same. I have arrived at the time of life when I can not expect an eye to look brighter when I come, but many eyes are brighter when they fall on these volunteers who left their homes, not when they thought the war was over, but in the time of England's darkest hour. That was the time when our gallant Yeomanry and Service Companies went to assist their country in its distress. They went to redeem again the honour of England, which at one moment looked as if it were rather smirched. They must have seen suffering by disease and bullet wounds, and in other ways, and must have been brought face to face with all kinds of distress, and witnessed the agony of death from disease and bullets. All that tends to make a man more sympathetic to those whom at other times he might be inclined to blame.

_Presentation to returned Volunteers (Boer War), Rogerstone, July 26th, 1901._

THE SEVEN AGES.

I liken myself to Shakespeare's "Seven ages." I have been the baby, the schoolboy, the lover, and the warrior, and I am now the Justice, but unlike the poet's justice, I can not boast of "a fair round belly with good capon lined." Having disappointed the poet in one thing, I hope to disappoint him in another, and not to degenerate into a "lean and slippered pantaloon."

_Servants' Ball, January 10th, 1893._

A DELICATE POINT.

The bazaar may be described as an "European fair," because the stalls represent most of the nations of Europe. The reason for that is that if we went to Africa or other dark countries, some difficulty might be experienced in getting the ladies to wear the costumes of those districts.

_Opening of "World's Fair" Bazaar, Newport, April 29th, 1891._

THE HISTORIC HOUSE OF LORDS.

It is in itself no great thing to be a lord; in fact, there used to be a saying, "As drunk as a lord." But it is a great thing to sit in the House of Lords. That House is an institution which I believe every country wishing for constitutional government has, for the last hundred years, striven to imitate, but without success, and in my opinion they are never likely to succeed, because the House of Lords is an institution which, being the growth of centuries, can not be imitated in a day. It is recruited from various classes of society, and it is simply impossible to create a body similar to it all in a moment.

In the old days, some three hundred years ago, King James, being in need of money, thought it would be a very good thing to create an extra rank, namely, that of baronet, and he sold baronetcies at £1,000 a piece, which brought him in a goodly sum of money. Anyone applying for a baronetcy was required to show a certain amount of pedigree, proving that he had had a grandfather or something of that sort. Now, if his Sovereign calls him, there is nothing to prevent any one, having talent and worth, from entering the House of Lords, even if he never had a grandfather. Great divines, great soldiers, great statesmen, great lawyers, and great engineers, representatives of all the rank and wealth of the country, are to be found in that august body; and I think it is a long time since any expression on the part of the House of Lords has been adverse to the general opinion of the country.

_Licensed Victuallers' Dinner, January 16th, 1876._

FINIS.

WESTERN MAIL, LIMITED, PRINTERS, CARDIFF