Part 3

There cannot possibly be an object in the wide world more worthy of sympathy than a girl without a friend. All over the world this Society has its habitations, and it has already befriended 4,000 girls. It renders assistance when they are penniless, provides friends when they are friendless, and religious consolation when they require it.

_Girls' Friendly Society Bazaar, Newport, April 24th, 1895._

THE BRAVERY OF THE WORKERS.

I think it is my duty to allude to the dreadful accident which took place in July at the dock extension works. The facts stated in the report should be printed and go, not only to the Shareholders, but to the country generally, as a record of the heroism and endurance that our workers, from the highest engineer to the lowliest navvy, were capable of under distressing and dreadful circumstances. We hear so much of the decadence of the English race nowadays, that I think the report of the disaster at the docks is well worthy of being printed.

_Half-yearly Meeting Alexandra (Newport and South Wales) Docks and Railway Coy., London, August 5th, 1909._

I have always admired the working collier, and if British records could be printed thousands of colliers would be found as much entitled to the Victoria Cross as those soldiers who have performed doughty deeds on the battlefield.

_Workmen's Outing at Tredegar Park, August 8th, 1885._

In the old Town Hall of Newport many great celebrities have received testimonials, compliments and honours--warriors, church dignitaries, financiers and great politicians; but I do not think any circumstance like the present one has arisen before, and there could not be a more interesting ceremony than that which we are about to perform. It is necessary to make a slight excuse for the time which has expired since the great disaster on July 2nd, 1909. Those who remember the incidents know perfectly well that the whole of the dock premises and the town were in a state of excitement for some considerable period, and a large number of unfortunate men were overwhelmed by the disaster, while others fortunately escaped. I think the officials have done their very best to try and select those who really performed heroic efforts. Those who have not received recognition, but think they deserve it, will, I feel sure, make all due allowance, and give those responsible the credit for having done their best. It is satisfactory to the directors to know that they have a body of men around them who are ready to do their duty. It is a trait of the educated British workman of to-day that, when given something useful to do, he will perform his task heroically--heroism is characteristic of him.

_Presentation of Certificates for Bravery on the occasion of the Dock disaster, Newport Town Hall, March 14th, 1911._

A TRIBUTE TO THE ENGINE DRIVER.

I have the greatest admiration for engine drivers, particularly those on the Great Western Railway, on which line I travel most. I have often wondered at the admirable manner in which they stop and start their trains. Mr. Gladstone once said that he could understand the mind of a great historian like Gibbon, or of a great poet, like Milton, Byron, or Wordsworth, but that he could not understand the formation of the mind of a man who wrote poems and plays like Shakespeare. Personally, I cannot understand the mind of an engine driver on an express train. I have been myself, in some very disagreeable positions, and have had some very nasty half minutes. Not very long ago I found myself underneath my horse in a muddy ditch and the half minutes I spent in waiting for a friendly hand to drag me out, and in wondering whether assistance would come before I was suffocated, were very unpleasant ones. Only a fortnight ago, too, a gentleman was driving me in a light vehicle down a narrow roadway when we saw a runaway horse attached to a lorry galloping towards us. It seemed as if there was nothing for it but for us to be knocked into the proverbial cocked-hat. However, our vehicle was drawn very close to the side and the runaway just cleared us. I can understand, too, the feeling of a man driving four horses when they run away with him, because that has happened to myself; or the feeling of a Newport cabman when his horse runs away. But I cannot understand the feeling of sustained courage on the part of a driver of an express engine with his train going at 60 miles an hour through the darkness of the night, perhaps in a storm of snow or sleet. To use a pretty strong expression, it must be like "hell with the lid off." Those who travel on railways ought to think more of the responsibilities which rest on railway employees.

_Railwaymen's Dinner, April 21st, 1908._

TEMPERANCE "IN ALL THINGS."

When I talk of temperance I mean temperance not only in drink, but in all things. There is temperance in eating, and temperance in life. In the present case there are three sections--the temperance people, the Sunday closing people, and the total abstinence people. I cannot see how the question of religion can enter into party politics. I have known many Tories who were habitual drunkards, and there are many Radicals who take a great deal more than they can carry. There is always a difficulty in drawing the line between the enthusiast and the fanatic. Enthusiastic gentlemen generally get what they require. Fanatics, on the other hand, by the way they advocate their principles, turn people away.

_Opening of the new Temperance Hall, Newport, May 2nd, 1889._

I believe that if the medical men of the country published their opinions concerning the cases which come under their notice, it would be a revelation to the general public how great a proportion of illness is due in one way or another to alcoholic drink. I cannot, however, help noticing that a great improvement and advance has taken place in the cause of temperance. A good many years ago, when there was going to be a great family festival--a wedding or something of that sort--one of the family retainers was asked if he was going to be there. "Of course," was his reply, "and won't I just get drunk." That seemed to be the prevailing idea of enjoyment--to get drunk. But that attitude has been changed.

_Band of Hope Festival, Newport, May 3rd, 1900._

I have no doubt there are several in the hall who, like myself, are not total abstainers, but we are all one in our endeavour to promote temperance generally. To those who cannot be temperate, we advise total abstinence. There is nothing, I am sure, so fruitful of good as the advocacy of temperance amongst children. When children are taught to advocate a particular cause they do it more effectively than older people. But we are sometimes apt to become too much imbued with one particular idea, and it is never well to be too much of a bore to those around us. A little child was asked not long ago what she knew about King John and Runnymede. She had evidently been a worker in the temperance cause, and replied, "Oh, yes; he's the man they got down to Runnymede and made him swear to take the pledge." She had forgotten about Magna Charta, and thought of only one kind of pledge. There is nothing that disturbs the general happiness and comfort so much as the action of those who persist in going into a public house when they need not do so, and coming out and making themselves disagreeable to their neighbours. I only hope that some of the younger portion of you will live to enjoy a Bank Holiday without seeing a single drunken person.

_Band of Hope Union, Newport, May 29th, 1901._

TOTAL ABSTINENCE.

There is a rule in the Boys' Brigade according to which you are supposed to be abstainers from drink. I need not say what a good thing that is. You will all be very much better for being abstainers. You will save a great deal of money, and probably keep your health up better. I wish I had been a total abstainer in my youth. I should have saved a great deal of money.

_Boys' Brigade Inspection, Newport, April 19th, 1894._

AN ANGELIC VISION.

There is a phrase about "the happiness of the greatest number." It is an expressive phrase, but different people have different opinions of happiness. I was hunting in the Midland Counties and I asked, "Where is Tom?" The answer was, "He's retired, he's living the life of a hangel; he's a-heating, and a-drinking and a-cussing, and a-swearing all day long." That may not be your idea of the life of an angel, if it was my friend's idea.

_The Tredegar Show, December 18th, 1872._

CHATS TO AND ABOUT CABBIES.

I have had many rides in the cabs of Newport, and have always found the cabbies very good drivers, prepared to go the pace according to the fare they expected at the end of the journey.

_Cabmen's Dinner, Newport, November 8th, 1889._

I wish you had chosen some other Patron Saint than Guy Fawkes, for Guy Fawkes tried to blow up the House of Lords, and on each anniversary you try to blow me up on my way to Tredegar House. Some persons may think that one Conservative Peer more or less does not matter, but I prefer that the experiment of blowing up should be tried upon the body of a Radical Peer.

_Cabmen's Dinner, Newport, Nov 5th, 1896._

There are very odd traditions about cabmen, and I am certain that sometimes they are not deserved. I have been told it is something of a tradition that it is the pride of a cabman to be able to whistle louder, to hit his horse harder, and to tell a bigger lie than anybody else. I believe that to be absolutely untrue, though some of you may know better than I do. One of you is supposed to have nearly upset a wedding. That was a dreadful thing to do. The bride and bridegroom were both at the Altar and just about to have the knot tied nicely. The clergyman began to deliver his address, but the bridegroom appeared to be in a great hurry, and said to the clergyman, "Look here, cut it short, guv'nor! I've got the cab by the hour." That was rather natural on the part of the bridegroom but the clergyman became very angry, and very nearly threw up the case....

Cabmen are limited in the language they may use. Judge Huddleston, when a barrister, was defending a client against a cabman, who had been using very bad language. The advocacy of Huddleston won the case. The next day the cabman called upon him and said: "Look here, Mr. Huddleston, you told me yesterday that I must not call people so and so. What are your charges for telling me what I can call anyone without getting into trouble?" Mr. Huddleston named his fee, cabby paid the money, and inquired what names he might call a man with impunity. Mr. Huddleston referred to his law books, and replied: "This is what you may call a man without being had up for libel or defamation of character. You may call him a villain, a scoundrel, a blackguard, and a thief, always supposing you don't accuse him of having stolen anything." The cabby took up his hat and said: "Look here, Mr. Huddleston, I call you a thief, a blackguard, a scoundrel and a villain; not that I mean to say you ever stole anything. Good morning." So you know now exactly what you can call a man if you do not like the fare he gives you. At the same time, I do not believe you would say such things.

Then, again, a cabman is always supposed to be a driving encyclopedia. When Newport cabmen are driving along Caerleon Road or Chepstow Road, credulous individuals ask them the name of every house and place they pass, what it means and what it is. Strangers want to know, and you must tell them something. There is an extraordinary tradition about a cabman driving along a road, when a lady fare asked him what "that mountain was with the tump on the top." "But what is the tump for?" persisted the lady. "Oh, that's where Lord Tredegar buried his charger; he made that mound himself," was the reply. Such stories are very interesting and amusing, but they spoil history, and that is why I think we are indebted to cabmen for the extraordinary traditions that go about the country.

_Cabmen's Dinner, Newport, November 5th, 1898._

Cabmen have traditionally bad characters, and are supposed to possess a vocabulary which is not taught in the Intermediate Schools. They are also supposed to have a special method of calculating distances and coin. All those ideas are exploded like nursery rhymes, such as "Whittington and his Cat." Cabmen are well looked after. There is the Excise Officer and the Cruelty to Animals Society, and, if these are not enough, there is the Watch Committee.

_Cabmen's Dinner, Newport, November 6th, 1899._

You have to compete with tramcars, motor cars, and all kinds of horrible conveyances. Having been interested in nursery rhymes since I was very young, I have been looking through some children's books during the last few days to see what is provided for the children of these days, and I came across the following lines in a book for children:--

The hansom takes you quickest, The growler keeps you dry, But the top of the 'bus Is the place for us To see the coves go by.

I advise you not to give that little book to your children, as it will induce them to ride on the top of a 'bus instead of taking a cab.

_Cabmen's Dinner, Newport, November 8th, 1902._

I have never been able to find out exactly why the cabmen's dinner is fixed for Guy Fawkes' Day. I have looked up Guy Fawkes' pedigree, and I cannot find that he ever drove a growler or even a hansom cab. Then I thought it might have something to do with Inkerman Day, which is all upset nowadays, as you know. Inkerman was always called a soldiers' battle, because it was so foggy that the generals could not see what they were doing. I have an idea that it must have been a cabmen's battle, and that it was cabmen who fought at Inkerman or commanded at Inkerman. Speaking of cabmen, I think that they are like Lord Rosebery's Dukes--poor, but honest. This is not an epoch-making dinner; it is not even a record dinner. "Epoch-making" and "record-making" are terms which are frequently used now-a-days, and I wish people would give them a rest for a time. I remember a young gentleman who came into a fortune and very soon got through it because his company was very indifferent, he being very fond of racecourses and other iniquities of that sort. He went through the Bankruptcy Court, and when asked how he accounted for getting rid of his fortune so quickly, he replied, "Fast women and slow horses." Now I think cabmen would probably make a profit out of fast women and slow horses. One of you will take a very fine lady to Caerleon Racecourse next week, and, having a slow horse, will take two hours to do the journey, and charge a two hours' price. But I always like this society for one particular reason, namely, it has no small societies belonging to it. There is no Cabmen's Football Club to write and ask you for a subscription. So far as I know, there is no cabmen's band, or other small institutions of which we have so many in every other circle of society. There is no cabmen's congress, and no cabmen's conferences and that is a great merit in the society, because I know that when I have done one thing, I have done all that I shall be required to do.

_Cabmen's Dinner, November 5th, 1909._

TALKS TO LICENSED VICTUALLERS.

Although the devil is not as black as he is painted, I hope neither I nor any other gentleman present bears any resemblance to his Satanic Majesty. The Scythians, it is reported, first debated things when drunk, and then whilst sober, and perhaps at the end of this gathering I may be able to form a better opinion of the members of the Newport Corporation.

_Mayor's Banquet, Newport March 18th, 1886._

A few months ago, in the silly season, "The Times" had about a couple of columns of letters from people discussing the uses and abuses of drink. I read the letters carefully, and came to the conclusion that there was a lot to be said on both sides. An octogenarian of 83 wrote to say that his eyesight, hearing, and teeth were all sound, and that he had not tasted spirituous liquors in his life. Shortly after, another octogenarian of 84, in addition to claiming the healthy condition of the previous writer, spoke of intending matrimony. He, however, said his memory was not so good as it was, but, so far as he could recollect, he had never been to bed sober in his life. After reading the first letter, I thought it was a "clincher," and went to bed without my usual brandy and soda, saying there would be no more licensed victuallers' dinners for me. When, however, I read the second letter, I changed my mind about the dinner. It has been said that life is not all beer and skittles, but it is a good thing to have something to drive away the depression which occasionally visits every one who has arrived at manhood.

_Licensed Victuallers' Dinner, Cardiff, March 15th, 1892._

In the old days barons drank strong ale. The barons would have their liquor strong, and local veto at that time would have meant loss of licensed victuallers' heads. Some people may wonder why I so persistently attend the Licensed Victuallers' Association meetings--for I do attend regularly. I will tell you why, in a few words, if you will not tell anybody else. There is a clause in the family settlements that compels me to do it. I endeavour to act up to those settlements.

_Licensed Victuallers' Dinner, Newport, March 9th, 1892._

I am not surprised that Members of Parliament are rather shy of going to licensed victuallers' dinners. They have to be very careful of what they say. Words, it has been said, are given to conceal thoughts. After dinner, sometimes, thoughts get the mastery of words, and Members of Parliament have to think a good deal of the future. They have to ponder over the teetotal vote, and they have to be very careful that they do not offend the licensed victuallers. The difference as regards the members of the House of Lords is this--they do not worry themselves about the teetotal vote, and they do not care a _darn_ for the licensed victuallers.

A certain number of people think they can arrange everything satisfactorily upon an arithmetical principle. The latest fad is "one man one vote." If you do not take care it will be one man one glass. I would like to know how that could be arranged on arithmetical principles satisfactorily. There are a few other burning questions which I have never yet seen satisfactorily answered. One is 'What is Home Rule?' and the other is 'Have you used Pear's Soap?' Until we can find satisfactory answers to these, I think that legislation in regard to licensed victuallers will be quiet for a bit. I have never considered it necessary to apologise for dining with licensed victuallers. If there are any who think that in dining with that company I am stepping down from a pedestal on which I ought to remain, all I can do is to answer them in the beautiful motto of the Order of the Garter, "Honi soit qui mal y pense."

_Licensed Victuallers' Dinner, Cardiff, February 28th, 1891._

CAKES AND ALE.

For my own part, I cannot see how the country could get on without Licensed Victuallers. Some years ago when a Frenchman wanted to describe an English country gentleman, he said he was one of those who, whenever he had nothing to do, suggested to those about him that they should go out and kill something.

There is a type of politician who, whenever he has nothing to do, says "Let us go and abolish something." If this type had its way it would abolish the Lord Mayor's Show and Barnum's White Elephant. I do not think the country would be one whit happier if a time arrived when there were no more cakes and ale.

_Licensed Victuallers' Dinner, January 29th, 1884._

THE GREAT LAND TYRANT.

I am now like the old man of the sea--someone you ought to get rid of. I am a great land tyrant. If you want a bit of land you can't get it. If you want a piece for a recreation ground you can't get it. If you want a piece for a Church you can't get it. If you want a piece for a school you can't get it. If you want a place for any other amusement or for athletic grounds you can't get it. Why? Because it belongs to Lord Tredegar. So if you treat me like Jonah, and throw me overboard, perhaps it would be much better for you.

_Conservative Association Meeting, Newport. August 24th, 1910._

TWO LORD TREDEGARS.

It appears to me sometimes that there are two Lord Tredegars.... Most of you have been children at some time or other, and so most of you, I am happy to think, are acquainted with nursery rhymes. There is one which, probably, a great many of you have heard of. It is about an old lady with a basket who was going to market. She laid down on a bank and went to sleep, and a pedlar passing by, for some reason or other, cut her petticoats considerably above her knees. When she awoke the first thing she said was, "Surely, this is not I." And sometimes, when he awoke in the morning, and saw what was said about Lord Tredegar, he was inclined to make the same remark, "Surely, this is not I." When I read of a Lord Tredegar who is trying to reap what he has not sown, who binds his tenants down to covenants which do not exist, and who exacts the uttermost farthing from his miserable tenants, I think sometimes there must be two Lord Tredegars.

_Tredegar Show, November 24th, 1888._

THE TRIALS OF BENEFACTORS.

The other day a friend of mine was in much the same position as I am to-night. He owned a large estate in the neighbourhood, and he was asked to preside at a meeting of the candidate who was going to come forward. I asked him afterwards if the meeting was successful. "Oh, yes," he replied, "it was fairly successful, but they began to find out my failures and shortcomings." I said, "What have they found out about you?" The reply was, "I have lately started a store in the village, so that the agricultural labourers might have their beef and groceries at cost price. I thought that was rather a good thing to do, but it was far from a good thing in the opinion of my opponents. All the butchers and grocers declared they would make it very hot for me." I am in a somewhat similar position, and I told my friend so. "What have you done?" asked my friend, and I replied, "I have given a public park to the Newport people." "What has that to do with it?" "Well," said I, "they make out that it has increased the rates."

_Conservative Meeting, Newport, February 2nd, 1894._

WHAT IS A PHILANTHROPIST?