Wit and Mirth: or Pills to Purge Melancholy, Vol. 5 of 6
Chapter 1
Produced by David Newman, Linda Cantoni, and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net. Music transcribed by Linda Cantoni.
[Transcriber's Note: This e-book is volume 5 of Thomas D'Urfey's _Wit and Mirth: Or Pills to Purge Melancholy_, published in six volumes in 1719-20 by J. Tonson, London. It was prepared from a 1959 facsimile reprint by Folklore Library Publishers, Inc., New York, of an 1876 reprint (publisher unidentified).
The 1719-20 edition was published in two issues. The first issue was published under the title _Songs Compleat, Pleasant and Divertive_; the second, under the _Wit and Mirth_ title. The 1876 reprint apparently used a combination of the two issues, and volume 5 bears the _Songs Compleat_ title. Moreover, the 1876 reprint was not an exact facsimile of the 1719-20 edition, as the typography and music notation were modernized. For more information on the various editions, see Cyrus L. Day, "Pills to Purge Melancholy," _The Review of English Studies_, Vol. 8, No. 30 (Apr. 1932), pp. 177-184, available at http://www.jstor.org/stable/508831 (login required).
Archaic and inconsistent spellings and hyphenation have been preserved as they appear in the original, except that "VV" is rendered as "W." The original order of titles in the Alphabetical Table has also been preserved. Obvious printer errors have been corrected.
Some words are rendered in the original in blackletter font. They are rendered here in uppercase letters. Italics are indicated with underscores.]
WIT and MIRTH:
OR
PILLS TO PURGE MELANCHOLY
EDITED BY THOMAS D'URFEY
IN SIX VOLUMES VOLUME V
FOLKLORE LIBRARY PUBLISHERS, INC. NEW YORK 1959
_This edition is a facsimile reproduction of the 1876 reprint of the original edition of 1719-1720._
Copyright (C) 1959
PRINTED IN THE U.S.A. by Noble Offset Printers, Inc. New York 3, New York
SONGS Compleat,
Pleasant and Divertive;
SET TO
MUSICK
By Dr. JOHN BLOW, Mr. HENRY PURCELL, and other Excellent Masters of the Town.
Ending with some ORATIONS, made and spoken by me several times upon the PUBLICK STAGE in the THEATER. Together with some Copies of VERSES, PROLOGUES, and EPILOGUES, as well as for my own PLAYS as those of other Poets, being all Humerous and Comical.
VOL. V.
_LONDON:_
Printed by _W. Pearson_, for _J. Tonson_, at SHAKESPEAR'S Head, against _Catherine_ Street in the _Strand_, 1719.
AN
Alphabetical TABLE
OF THE
SONGS and POEMS
Contain'd in this
BOOK.
Page
A
_All Christians and_ Lay-Elders _too_, 1
_As I went by an Hospital_, 29
_A Shepherd kept Sheep on a_, 35
_As I was a walking under a Grove_, 37
_A Councel grave our King did hold_, 49
_A Heroe of no small Renown_, 56
_As the Fryer he went along_, 58
_A Bonny Lad came to the Court_, 88
_A Pox on those Fools, who exclaim_, 91
_Amongst the pure ones all_, 105
_As Oyster_ Nan _stood by her Tub_, 107
_Ah!_ Caelia _how can you be_, 111
_Are you grown so Melancholy_, 118
_As_ Collin _went from his Sheep_, 122
_A Wife I do hate_, 173
_A Thousand several ways I try'd_, 181
_A_ Whig _that's full_, 207
_As_ Cupid _roguishly one Day_, 217
_A Young Man sick and like to die_, 267
_At Noon in a sultry Summer's Day_, 282
_Ah! how lovely sweet and dear_, 287
_Advance, advance, advance gay_, 288
_Ah! foolish Lass, what mun I do_, 322
B
_Bold impudent_ Fuller _invented_, 5
_By Moon-light on the Green_, 103
_Bonny_ Peggy Ramsey _that any_, 139
_By shady Woods and purling_, 161
Belinda! _why do you distrust_, 213
_Born to surprize the World_, 250
_Bring out your Coney-Skins_, 303
_Bonny_ Scottish _Lads that keens_, 326
C
_Come bring us Wine in Plenty_, 15
_Come pretty Birds present your_, 120
_Come fill up the Bowl with_, 138
_Cease lovely_ Strephon, _cease to_, 189
_Cease whining_ Damon _to complain_, 202
Caelia _my Heart has often rang'd_, 230
Corinna, _if my Fate's to love you_, 254
Caelia's _Charms are past expressing_, 257
_Come Beaus, Virtuoso's, rich Heirs_, 265
_Cease, cease of_ Cupid _to complain_, 298
_Come, come ye Nymphs_, 300
Chloe _blush'd, and frown'd, and swore_, 345
Caelia _hence with Affectation_, 350
D
_Did you not hear of a gallant_, 80
_Divine_ Astrea _hither flew_, 275
_Draw_ Cupid _draw, and make_, 306
Damon _if you will believe me_, 327
_Drunk I was last Night that's_, 329
Delia _tir'd_ Strephon _with her_, 343
F
_Fair_ Caelia _too fondly contemns_, 169
_Fly_ Damon _fly, 'tis Death to stay_, 247
_Fear not Mortal, none shall harm_, 248
_Farewel ungrateful Traytor_, 335
G
Gilderoy _was a bonny Boy_, 39
_Good Neighbour why do you_, 73
H
_How now Sister_ Betteris, _why look_, 68
_Heaven first created Woman to_, 135
_Hears not my_ Phillis _how_, 149
_How happy's the Mortal whose_, 179
_He himself courts his own Ruin_, 188
_How happy and free is the_, 193
_How charming_ Phillis _is_, 201
_Hither turn thee, hither turn thee_, 211
_Here lies_ William de Valence, 220
_Ho my dear Joy, now what dost_, 240
_Here's a Health to the Tackers_, 284
_Here are People and Sports of_, 308
_Hark! now the Drums beat up again_, 319
_How often have I curs'd that sable Deceit_, 352
I
_I am a young Lass of_ Lynn, 59
_I am a jovial Cobler bold and_, 75
_It was a Rich Merchant Man_, 77
_If Sorrow the Tyrant invade_, 83
_In the pleasant Month of_ May, 101
_It was a happy Golden Day_, 110
_I prithee send me back my Heart_, 143
_In_ Chloris _all soft Charms agree_, 162
_I lik'd, but never lov'd before_, 171
Iris _beware when_ Strephon _pursues_, 199
_I am one in whom Nature has_, 241
_In vain, in vain, the God I ask_, 251
_In the Devil's Country there_, 271
_In elder Time, there was of_ Yore, 289
Ianthia _the lovely, the Joy of_, 301
Jockey _met with_ Jenny _fair_, 317
_I met with the Devil in the_, 330
_Jilting is in such a Fashion_, 333
Jockey _loves his_ Moggy _dearly_, 341
L
_Let the Females attend_, 8
_Let's be jolly, fill our Glasses_, 16
_Let's sing of Stage-Coaches_, 20
_Last_ Christmas _'twas my chance_, 25
_Lately as thorough the fair_, 44
_Let Soldiers fight for Pay and Praise_, 145
_Long had_ Damon _been admir'd_, 158
Laurinda, _who did love Disdain_, 167
_Let Ambition fire thy Mind_, 205
_Long was the Day e'er_ Alexis, 214
_Let's be merry, blith and jolly_, 337
M
_My Friend if you would understand_, 94
_Marriage it seems is for better_, 272
N
_No more let_ Damon's _Eyes pursue_, 239
_Nay pish, nay pish, nay pish Sir_, 305
_No, no every Morning my_, 323
_Now my Freedom's regain'd_, 325
_No_, Phillis, _tho' you've all the Charms_, 338
_Now to you ye dry Wooers_, 340
O
_Once more to these Arms my_, 92
_One Night in my Ramble I_, 109
_Oh! let no Eyes be dry_, 130
_Old_ Lewis le Grand, _he raves like_, 151
_Of old Soldiers, the Song you_, 217
_Of late in the Park a fair Fancy_, 243
_Oh! how you protest and solemnly_, 316
P
Philander _and_ Sylvia, _a gentle_, 140
_Poor_ Jenny _and I we toiled_, 146
_Pretty_ Floramel, _no Tongue can_, 160
_Plague us not with idle Stories_, 204
_Poor_ Mountfort _is gone, and the_, 244
_Pretty Parrot say, when I was_, 280
S
_State and Ambition, all Joy to_, 11
_Stay, stay, shut the Gates_, 85
_Slaves to_ London _I'll deceive you_, 114
_Stay, ah stay, ah turn, ah whither_, 237
_See how fair and fine she lies_, 252
_Since_ Caelia _only has the Art_, 286
_Some brag of their_ Chloris, 307
_See, Sirs, see here! a Doctor rare_, 311
_Swain thy hopeless Passion smother_, 344
T
_There was an old Woman liv'd_, 13
_The Suburbs is a fine Place_, 27
_There can be no Glad man_, 32
_Then_ Jockey _wou'd a wooing away_, 42
_There was a Lass of_ Islington, 46
_There was a Lord of worthy Fame_, 53
_There was a Jovial Tinker_, 62
_There is a fine Doctor now come_, 71
_There was a Knight and he_, 112
_Think wretched Mortal, think_, 134
_To the Wars I must alass_, 137
_Though the Pride of my Passion fair_, 156
_Tell me ye_ Sicilian _Swains_, 175
_To the Grove, gentle Love, let_, 182
_Tell me no more of Flames in_, 183
_Tho' Fortune and Love may be_, 186
_That little Patch upon your Face_, 197
_Tho' over all Mankind, besides my_, 233
_There lives an Ale-draper near_, 259
_The Caffalier was gone, and the_, 274
_The_ Devil _he pull'd off his Jacket_, 278
_The Jolly, Jolly Breeze_, 347
_The Jolly, Jolly Bowl_, ib.
U
_Upon a Holiday, when Nymphs_, 87
W
_Where gott'st thou the_ Haver-mill, 17
_When first_ Mardyke _was made_, 65
_When Maids live to Thirty, yet never_, 99
_What Life can compare, with the_, 125
_With my Strings of small Wire_, 128
_When that young_ Damon _bless'd_, 131
_Would you be a Man in Fashion_, 154
_When first I fair_ Celinda _knew_, 157
_When busy Fame o'er all the_, 164
_Why am I the only Creature_, 165
_Where would coy_ Amyntas _run_, 172
_When gay_ Philander _left the Plain_, 177
_Wealth breeds Care, Love, Hope_, 185
_When first_ Amyntas _charmed my_, 192
_Why so pale and wan fond Lover_, 195
_When I languish'd and wish'd you_, 209
_When first I saw her charming Face_, 277
_While the Love is thinking_, 283
_When_ Jemmy _first began to love_, 332
Y
_You Master Colours pray_, 22
_Ye brave Boys and Tars_, 115
_Young_ Coridon _and_ Phillis, 126
_Your Hay it is mow'd, and your_, 142
_You happy Youths, whose Hearts_, 191
_Young Ladies that live in the_, 262
_You I love by all that's true_, 336
_You've been with dull Prologues_, 349
SONGS Compleat,
Pleasant and Divertive, &c.
VOL. V.
_The_ FOUR-LEGG'D ELDER: _Or a Horrible Relation of a_ DOG _and an_ Elder's MAID.
_By Sir_ John Burtonhead.
[Music]
All Christians and _Lay-Elders_ too, For Shame amend your Lives; I'll tell you of a Dog-trick now, Which much concerns you Wives: An _Elder's_ Maid near _Temple-Bar_, (Ah! what a Quean was she?) Did take an ugly Mastiff Cur, Where Christians use to be. _Help House of Commons, House of Peers,_ _Oh now or never help!_ _Th' Assembly hath not sat Four Years,_ _Yet hath brought forth a Whelp._
One Evening late she stept aside, Pretending to fetch Eggs; And there she made her self a Bride, To one that had four Legs: Her Master heard a Rumblement, And wonder she did tarry; Not dreaming (without his consent) His Dog would ever Marry. _Help House of Commons_, &c.
He went to peep, but was afraid, And hastily did run, To fetch a Staff to help his Maid, Not knowing what was done: He took his _Ruling Elders_ Cane, And cry'd out _help, help, here_; For _Swash_ our Mastiff, and poor _Jane_, Are now fight Dog, fight Bear. _Help House of Commons_, &c.
But when he came he was full sorry, For he perceiv'd their Strife; That according to the _Directory_, They Two were Dog and Wife: Ah! (then said he) thou cruel Quean, Why hast thou me beguil'd? I wonder _Swash_ was grown so lean, Poor Dog he's almost spoil'd. _Help House of Commons_, &c.
I thought thou hadst no Carnal Sense, But what's in our Lasses: And could have quench'd thy Cupiscence, According to the _Classes_: But all the Parish see it plain, Since thou art in this pickle; Thou art an INDEPENDENT Quean, And lov'st a CONVENTICLE. _Help House of Commons_, &c.
Alas now each _Malignant_ Rogue, Will all the World perswade; That she that's Spouse unto a Dog, May be an _Elder's_ Maid: They'll jeer us if abroad we stir, Good Master _Elder_ stay; Sir, of what _Classis_ is your Cur? And then what can we say? _Help House of Commons_, &c.
They'll many graceless Ballads sing, Of a PRESBYTERIAN; That a _Lay Elder_ is a thing Made up half Dog, half Man: Out, out, said he, (and smote her down) Was Mankind grown so scant? There's scarce another Dog in Town, Had took the COVENANT. _Help House of Commons_, &c.
Then _Swash_ began to look full grim, And _Jane_ did thus reply; Sir, you thought nought too good for him, You fed your Dog too high: 'Tis true he took me in the lurch, And leap'd into my Arms; But (as I hope to come at Church) I did your Dog no harm. _Help House of Commons_, &c.
Then she was brought to _Newgate_ Gaol, And there was Naked stripp'd; They whipp'd her till the Cords did fail, As Dogs us'd to be whipp'd: Poor City Maids shed many a Tear, When she was lash'd and bang'd; And had she been a _Cavalier_, Surely she had been hang'd. _Help House of Commons_, &c.
Hers was but _Fornication_ found, For which she felt the Lash: But his was _Bugg'ry_ presum'd, Therefore they hanged _Swash_: What will become of _Bishops_ then, Or _Independency_? For now we find both Dogs and Men, Stand up for PRESBYTRY. _Help House of Commons_, &c.
She might have took a _Sow-gelder_, With _Synod-men_ good store, But she would have a _Lay-Elder_, With Two Legs and Two more: Go tell the _Assembly_ of Divines, Tell Adoniram blue; Tell _Burgess_, _Marshall_, _Case_ and _Vines_, Tell _Now-and-Anon_ too. _Help House of Commons_, &c.
Some say she was a _Scottish_ Girl, Or else (at least) a Witch; But she was born in _Colchester_, Was ever such a Bitch: Take heed all Christian Virgins now, The _Dog-Star_ now prevails; Ladys beware your Monkeys too, For Monkeys have long Tails. _Help House of Commons_, &c.
Bless _King_ and _Queen_, and send us Peace, As we had Seven Years since: For we remember no _Dog-days_, While we enjoy'd our Prince: Bless sweet Prince _Charles_, Two _Dukes_, Three Girls, Lord save his _Majesty_; Grant that his _Commons_, _Lords_, and _Earls_, May lead such lives as _He_. _Help House of Commons_, &c.
_Plain Proof Ruin'd: Or, a Grand_ CHEAT _Discover'd._
[Music]
Bold Impudent _Fuller_ invented a Plot, And all to discover the Devil knows what; About a young Bantling strangely begot. _Which no body can deny._
The better to cheat both the Fools and the Wise, He Impos'd on a Nation a Hundred of Lies; That none but a Knight of the Post could devise. _Which no body can deny._
He tells us he had the Honour to peep, In the Warming-pan where the _Welch_ Infant did sleep; And found out a Plot which was Damnable deep, _Which no Body can believe._
Then to the Wise Senate he suddenly went, Where he told all the Lies that he then could invent, For which he was Voted a Rogue by consent, _Which no Body can deny._
And tho' he was Punish'd for that his Offence, He has almost forgot it, it was so long since, Therefore the whole Game he began to Commence, _Which no Body can deny._
Then he to the Lords his bold Letters did send, And told the high Peers, that the Plot he could mend, And make it as plain, as he first did pretend, _Which no Body can deny._
He told them his Witnesses were mighty Men, That wou'd come to the Town, tho' the Devil knows when, And make _William Fuller_ once famous agen, _Which no Body can deny._
The Lords they were Generous, Noble and Kind, And allowed him Freedom his 'Squires to find, The which he will do when the Devil is Blind, _Which no Body can deny._
So the Peers they declared him a scandalous Sot, And none thinks him fit to manage a Plot, If _Newgate_ and _Tyburn_ does fall to his Lot, _There's no Body will deny._
They gave him no more time than himself did require, To find out his _Jones_ and the wandering 'Squire, But the time being come, they were never the nigher, _Which no Body can deny._
The brave House of _Commons_ next for him did send, To hear what the Block-headly Fool wou'd pretend, Who humbly request, that they wou'd him befriend, _Which no Body can deny._
One day he declar'd they were near _London_ Town, But the very next Day into _Wales_ they were flown, Such nimble Heel'd Witnessess never were known, _Which no Body can deny._
When being Examin'd about his sham Plot, He answer'd as though he had minded them not, Perhaps the Young Rogue had his Lesson forgot, _Which no Body can deny._
But after some Study and impudent Tales, Ask'd for a Commission to march into _Wales_, And be Chang'd to a Herse, as Rogues goes to Gaols, _Which no Body can deny._
But seeing his Impudence still to abound, To go search for the Men who were not to be found, They immediately sent him back to _Fleet_ Pound, _Which no Body can deny._
From the _Fleet_ to the Cart may he quickly advance To learn the true Steps of old _Oates's_ New Dance, And something beside, or it is a great Chance, _Which no Body can deny._
He has made it a Trade to be doing of Wrong, In Swearing, and Lying, and Cheating so long, For all his Life time, he's been at it ding dong, _Which no Body can deny._
_Welch Taffy_ he raves and crys Splutterdenails, He's abused hur Highness with Lies and with Tales, Hur will hang hur if e'er hur can catch hur in _Wales_, _Which no Body will deny._
_The Woman Warrior._
_Who liv'd in_ COW-CROSS _near_ WEST-SMITHFIELD; _who changing her Apparrel, entered her self on Board in Quality of a Soldier, and sailed to_ IRELAND, _where she Valiantly behaved her self, particularly at the Siege of_ CORK, _where she lost her Toes, and received a Mortal Wound in her Body, of which she since Died in her return to_ LONDON.
[Music]
Let the Females attend, To the Lines which are penn'd, For here I shall give a Relation; Of a Young marry'd Wife, Who did venture her Life, For a Soldier, a Soldier she went from the Nation.
She her Husband did leave, And did likewise receive Her Arms, and on Board she did enter; And right valiantly went, With a Resolution bent, To the Ocean, the Ocean her Life there to venture.
Yet of all the Ships Crew, Not a Seaman that knew, They then had a Woman so near 'em; On the Ocean so deep, She her Council did keep, Ay, and therefore, and therefore she never did fear 'em.
She was valiant and bold, And would not be controul'd, By any that dare to offend her; If a Quarrel arose, She would give him dry Blows, And the Captain, the Captain did highly commend her.
For he took her to be, Then of no mean Degree, A Gentleman's Son or a 'Squire; With a Hand white and fair, There was none could compare, Which the Captain, the Captain did often admire.
On the _Irish_ Shore, Where the Cannons did roar, With many stout Lads she was landed; There her Life to expose, She lost two of her Toes, And in Battle, in Battle was daily commended.
Under _Grafton_ she fought, Like a brave Hero stout, And made the proud Tories retire; She in Field did appear, With a Heart void of Fear, And she bravely, she bravely did charge and give fire.
While the battering Balls, Did assault the strong Walls, Of _Cork_ and the sweet Trumpets sounded; She did bravely advance, Where by unhappy Chance, This young Female, young Female alass she was wounded.
At the End of the Fray, Still she languishing lay, Then over the Ocean they brought her; To her own Native Shore, Now they ne'er knew before, That a Woman, a Woman had been in that Slaughter.
What she long had conceal'd, Now at length she reveal'd, That she was a Woman that ventur'd; Then to _London_ with care, She did straitways repair, But she dy'd, oh she dy'd e'er the City she enter'd.
When her Parents beheld, They with Sorrow was fill'd, For why they did dearly adore her: In her Grave now she lies, 'Tis not watery Eyes, No nor Sighing, nor Sighing that e'er can restore her.
_A Medly, Compos'd out of several_ SONGS.
[Music]
State and Ambition, all Joy to great _Caesar_, _Sawney_ shall ne'er be my Colly my Cow; All Hail to the Shades, all Joy to the Bridegroom, And call upon _Dobbin_ with Hi, Je, ho. Remember ye Whigs, what was formerly done; And _Jenny_ come tye my bonny Cravat, If I live to grow old for I find I go down, For I cannot come every Day to Wooe.
_Jove_ in his Throne was a Fumbler, _Tom Farthing_, And _Jockey_ and _Jenny_ together did lie; Oh Mother _Roger_: Boys, fill us a Bumper, For why will ye die my poor _Caelia_, ah why? Hark! how thundring Cannons do roar, Ladies of _London_ both wealthy and fair; _Charon_ make hast and Ferry me over, Lilli burlero bullen a lah.
_Chloris_ awake, Four-pence-half-penny-farthing, Give me the Lass that is true Country bred; Like _John_ of _Gaunt_ I walk in _Covent-Garden_, I am a Maid and a very good Maid: Twa bonny Lads was _Sawney_ and _Jockey_, The Delights of the Bottle and Charms of good Wine; Wading the Water so deep my sweet _Moggy_, Cold and Raw, let it run in the right Line.
Old _Obadiah_ sings _Ave-Maria_, Sing Lulla-by-Baby with a Dildo; The old Woman and her Cat sat by the Fire, Now this is my Love d'y' like her ho? Old _Charon_ thus preached to his Pupil _Achilles_, And under this Stone here lies _Gabriel John_; Happy was I at the fight of Fair _Phillis_, What should a Young Woman do with an old Man?
There's old Father _Peters_ with his Romish Creatures, There was an old Woman sold Pudding and Pies, Cannons with Thunder shall fill them with Wonder, I once lov'd a Lass that had bright rowling Eyes: There's my Maid _Mary_, she does mind her Dairy, I took to my Heels and away I did run; And bids him prepare to be happy to Morrow, Alass! I don't know the right end of a Gun.