Chapter 16

"'Dinna say that,' said I; 'I am not simple. I told him to his face that I didna like his bills. But ye are like a' women--ye would do wonders if ye were men! But his bill prevents a' disputes about his account--do ye not see that--and I can cash it if I wish.'

"'Very true,' said she, 'ye can cash it, Nicholas, but upon your own credit, and at your own risk.'

"'Risk!' said I, 'the woman's a fool to talk in such a manner about an every-day transaction.'

"'Weel,' answered she, 'not to say that there is the slightest risk in the matter, have ye considered, that, if ye do cash this bill, there will be a heavy discount to pay, and if ye pay it, what is to become o' your profits? Did ye tell him, that if ye took his bill ye would carry the discount to his next account?'

"'O Nancy! Nancy!' cried I, 'ye would skin the wind! Just take yoursel' away, if ye please; for really ye're tormenting me--making a perfect gowk o' me, for neither end nor purpose.'

"'Oh, if that be the way,' said she, 'I can leave ye--but I have seen the day when ye thought otherwise o' my company. Yet, the more I see o' your transactions, Nicholas, the more I am convinced in the truth o' the saying, that the simple man is the beggar's brother.'

"'Sorrow take ye, wife!' cried I, 'will ye really come owre thae words again. Are ye not aware that I detest and abhor them? Have I not said that to ye again and again?--and yet ye will repeat them in my hearing? Do ye wish to drive me mad?'

"'I would wish to see ye act,' answered she, 'so that I would ne'er need to use them again.' And, on saying that, she went out o' the room, which to me was a great deliverance.

"I got the bill cashed, and, to tell ye the plain truth, I also had it to pay. This was a dreadfu' loss to me; and I found there was naething left for me but so _sit down_,(if ye understand what that means,) as mony a guid man has been compelled to do. Hooever, I paid every body seventeen shillings and sixpence half-penny in the pound. Some of my creditors said it was owre meikle--that I had been simple and wronged mysel'.

"'I would wish to the utmost o' my power to be honest,' said I; 'and if I hae wronged mysel', I hae saved my conscience. If there be naething else left for me noo, as Burns says--

'Heaven be thankit! I can beg.'

"My business, hooever, had been entirely at a stand for the space o' sax weeks. I had neither journeyman nor apprentice left. My looms, and the hale apparatus connected wi' the concern, had been sold off, and I had naething in the world but a few articles o' furniture, which a freend bought back for me at the sale. I got the loan o' a loom, and in order to support my wife and family, I had to sit down to drive the shuttle again. I had wrought nane to speak o' for ten years before, and my hands were quite oot o' use. I made but a puir job o' it. The first week I didna mak aboon half-a-crown; and that was but a sma' sum for the support o' a wife and half-a-dozen hungry bairns. Hooever, I was still as simple as ever; and there wasna a wife in the countryside that was a bad payer, but brought her web to Nicholas Middlemiss. I wrought late and early; but though I did my utmost, I couldna keep my bairns' teeth gaun. Many a time it has wrung my heart, when I hae heard them crying to their mother, clinging round her, and pulling at her apron, saying--'Mother, gie's a piece!--Oh just a wee bite, mother!'

"'O my darlings,' she used to say to them, 'dinna ask me for bread the noo. I haena a morsel in the house, and hae na siller to buy meal. But yer faither is aboot finished wi' the web, and ye shall hae plenty the nicht.'

"Then the bits o' dear creatures would hae come runnin' ben to me, and asked--'Faither, when will the web be ready?'

"'Soon, soon, hinnies!' said I, half choked wi' grief and blind wi' tears; 'haud awa' oot and play yoursels!'

"For I couldna stand to see them yearning afore me, and to behold want, like a gnawing worm, eating the flesh from their lovely cheeks. Then, when I had went out wi' the web, Nancy would say to me--'Noo, Nicholas, remember the situation we're in. There's neither food o' ae description nor anither in the house, and ye see the last o' oor coals upon the fire. Therefore, afore ye leave the web, see that ye get the money for the working o't.'

"Yet, scores o' times, even after such admonitions, hae I come hame without a penny in my pocket. Ane put me aff with ae excuse, and anither wi' anither. Some were to ca' and pay me on the Saturday, and others when they killed their pig. But those Saturdays seldom came; and, in my belief, the pigs are living yet. It used to put me in terror to meet my poor starving family. The consequence generally was, that Nancy had to go to where I had come frae and request payment hersel'; and, at last, she wadna trust me wi' the taking hame o' the webs.

"We suffered more than I'm willing to tell aboot, at the period I mention, and a' arose oot o' my simpleness. But I was confined to my bed for ten weeks, wi' a dreadfu' attack o' rheumatism--it was what was ca'ed a rheumatic fever--it reduced me to a perfect anatomy. I was as feckless as a half-burned thread. Through fatigue, anxiety, and want o' support thegither, Nancy also took very ill; and there did we lie to a' appearance hastening to the grave. What we suffered, and what our family suffered upon this occasion, no person in a Christian country could believe. But for the kindness o' the minister, and some o' oor neebors, we must a' hae perished. As a matter of course we fell sadly back; and when the house rent became due, we had not wherewith to pay it. The landlord distrained us for it. A second time the few things I had left were put under the hammer o' the auctioneer. 'Oh!' said I, 'surely misery and I were born thegither!' For we had twa dochters, the auldest only gaun six, baith lying ill o' the scarlet fever in the same bed, and I had to suffer the agony o' beholding the bed sold out from under them. It was more than human nature could endure. The poor, dear lammies cried--'Faither! mither! dinna let them touch us!' I took the auldest up in my arms, and begged that I micht be allowed a blanket to row her in. Nancy took up the youngest one, and while the sale went on, with our dying bairns in our arms, we sat down in the street before the door, as twa beggars--but we were not begging.

"Our case excited universal commiseration. A number o' respectable people began to take an interest in our weelfare; and business came so thick upon me that I had to get twa other looms, and found constant employment, not only for my auldest laddie, whom I was bringing up to the business, but also for a journeyman.

"Just as I was beginning to prosper, hooever, and to get my head aboon the water, there was ane o' my auld creditors to whom I had paid the composition of seventeen and sixpence halfpenny in the pound, wha was a hard-hearted, avaricious sort o' man, and to whom I had promised, and not only promised, but given a written pledge, to pay him the remaining two and fivepence halfpenny in the pound, together with interest, in the course of six years. The time was just expiring, when he came to me, and presenting the bit paper, which was in my own handwriting, demanded payment.

"'Really, sir,' said I, 'I acknowledge that I must pay ye, though everybody said at the time that I was a very simple man for entering into ony such agreement wi' ye; but it is not in my power to pay ye just now. In the course o' a twalmonth I hope to be able to do it.'

"'Mr Middlemiss,' said he, as slowly as if he were spelling my name, 'my money I want, and my money I will have; and have it immediately, too.'

"'Sir,' said I, 'the thing is impossible; I canna gie ye what I haena got.'

"'I dinna care for that,' said he; 'if I dinna get it, I shall _get you_.'

"He had the cruelty to throw me into jail, just as I was beginning to gather my feet. It knocked all my prospects in the head again. I began to say it was o' nae use for me to strive, for the stream o' fate was against me.'

"'Dinna say so, Nicholas,' said Nancy, who came on foot twice every week, a' the way from Langholm, to see me--'dinna say sae. Yer ain simplicity is against ye--naething else.'

"Weel, the debt was paid, and I got my liberty. But, come weel, come woe, I was still simple Nicol Middlemiss. Ne'er hae I been able to get the better o' my easy disposition. It has made me acquainted wi' misery--it has kept me constantly in the company o' poverty; and, when I'm dead, if onybody erect a gravestane for me, they may inscribe owre it--

"THE SIMPLE MAN IS THE BEGGAR'S BROTHER."

TALES OF THE EAST NEUK OF FIFE.

THE ROBBERY AT PITTENWEEM AND THE PORTEOUS MOB.

On the 2nd of March 1736, Andrew Wilson in Pathhead, William Hall in Edinburgh, and George Robertson, stabler at Bristo Port there, were indicted and accused, at the instance of Duncan Forbes of Culloden, then Lord Advocate, before the high court of justiciary at Edinburgh, of the crimes of stouthrief housebreaking and robbery, in so far as James Stark, collector of excise in Kirkcaldy, being upon his circuit in collecting that revenue, and having along with him a considerable sum of money collected by him by virtue of his office, upon Friday the 9th day of January then last, was at the house of Margaret Ramsay, relict of Andrew Fowler, excise-office keeper at Pittenweem; and Andrew Wilson having formed a design to rob Collector Stark of the money and other effects he had along with him, and having taken William Hall and George Robertson as associates, they came together from Edinburgh that morning, and towards evening put up their horses in Anstruther-Easter, in the inn kept by James Wilson, brewer there;[C] and after having had some deliberations upon their intended robbery, leaving their horses there, they went privately on foot to Pittenweem, and about eleven o'clock that night called at the house of Widow Fowler, and under the pretence of drinking, remained there until they were informed, or might reasonably presume Collector Stark was gone to bed; and about twelve that night, or one next morning, Andrew Wilson and William Hall, or one or other of them, did impudently and in defiance of law forcibly and with violence break the door of the room where Collector Stark was lying in bed, and having knocked out the under pannel, Collector Stark suspecting an attack upon his life, for his safety jumped out at a window in his shirt; whereupon Andrew Wilson and William Hall, or one or other of them, entered the room, and did feloniously carry off bank-notes in a pocket-book belonging to Collector Stark, and gold and money in his possession to the value of L.200, less or more, and did rob and take away a pair of pistols, a seal, a penknife, a cloak bag, a pair of silver buckles, a bible, several suits of linens and other goods belonging to Collector Stark and in his possession; and when they went out of that room, did divide, disperse of, and distribute the gold, money, and other goods so robbed and taken away at their pleasure. And while the said Andrew Wilson and William Hall were committing the foresaid crimes, the said George Robertson was standing, sometimes at the door and sometimes at the foot of the stair of said house, as a sentinel and guard, with a drawn cutlass in his hand, to prevent any person from interfering and stopping the said violence and robbery, and did threaten to kill or otherwise intimidate the servants of the house when going towards the door of the collector's room; and when several of the inhabitants, alarmed by the noise, gathered together upon the street, and coming towards the door, inquired what was going on there; he, George Robertson, did treacherously endeavour to persuade them not to attempt to enter the house, falsely affirming that he had tried to go up stairs, but being in danger of being shot, he was by fear obliged to leave the house. And in order to keep them still amused with his false suggestion of danger by entering the house, having gone along with them into the house of John Hyslop in Pittenweem, he detained them there for some time, until he judged that his associates might have made their escape with their spoil; and soon afterwards William Hall was seized in the street of Anstruther-Easter, between twelve and one next morning, being Saturday the 10th January, having several of the goods and a purse of gold so robbed in his possession, which he dropped and endeavoured to conceal. And they, Andrew Wilson, and George Robertson, having met some short time afterwards in the house of said James Wilson in Anstruther-Easter, where they were informed that the house was beset, conscious of their own guilt, they, one or other of them, did deliver to said James Wilson the seal, the penknife, the pair of buckles, some money, and other things robbed, telling that if they were found in their possession they would be hanged or undone, or words to that purpose, expressing an apprehension of the utmost danger; and immediately thereafter got into bed, as if they had lain all night asleep, where both were apprehended, and upon the top of which bed were found the bank notes robbed from Collector Stark, and his pocket-book above another bed in another room of the house, &c. Wherefore, on these crimes being confessed or proven, the parties ought to be most severely and exemplarily punished with the pains of law, in terror of others committing the like in time coming.

The indictment to the foregoing effect was read--the case debated, and the Lords ordered both parties to give in informations.

On the 19th March 1736, the Lords found the libel relevant--but allowed George Robertson a proof, with respect to his behaviour at the time stated, for taking off the circumstances tending to infer his being accessory, or art and part of the crimes libelled.

A jury was empannelled, and the trial proceeded. To give even notes of the depositions on both sides would exceed our limits. We shall therefore merely select the evidence of two or three witnesses, whose statements will serve to form a continuation of our narrative, and pass over the remainder as unnecessary for our purpose.

The first we shall adduce is the collector, the individual robbed.

James Stark, collector of excise, Kirkcaldy, aged forty-nine years or thereby, married, solemnly sworn, purged of malice partial, counsel examined and interrogated, depones time and place libelled--the deponent being then upon his collection as collector of excise. He went to bed about ten o'clock, and about an hour and a-half thereafter, he was waked out of sleep by a noise and some chapping at the door of the room where he lay--which door he had secured before he went to bed by screwing down the sneck of the door--which noise the deponent at first imagined was occasioned by some drunken people in the house; but afterwards, upon the strokes on the door being repeated with violence, the deponent jumped out of his bed, and heard the under part of the door of the bed-room giving way, upon which the deponent laid hold upon two bags of money, which, with the deponent's breeches, in which were about L.100 in gold, and bank notes and silver, the deponent had put below his head when he went to bed; and the deponent did then, in the confusion in which he was, put the table and some chairs to the back of the door to stap the gap, and thereafter opened the window, and returning to find the bags of money and his breeches, he could only find one of the bags of money, and being in fear of his life, he jumped out at the window with one of the bags of money, and fell at the foot of the stair, the said window being just above the entry to the house, and recovering himself a little, he went towards the corn-yard, and hearing a person call out "Hold him," the deponent apprehending the voice to be before him, he returned a few paces, and then perceiving a man standing or walking at the foot of the stair, the deponent returned again to the yard, where he hid the bag of money, and thereafter coming back towards the house to hear what was a-doing, the deponent heard a knocking in the room where he had been lodged, and thereupon retired to the yard again--lay covered with some straw till about four in the morning--and then returning to the house saw the panel, William Hall, in custody of some soldiers; and the deponent having said to him that he had given him a cold bath that night, William Hall answered that he was not to blame, being only hired, and had no hand in it, but that Andrew Wilson and George Robertson had come there of a design to rob the deponent that night, and that this design had been formed several months before by Andrew Wilson, and particularly at the preceding collection at Elie; and further depones that soon after the deponent got out of the window as aforesaid, he heard the clock strike twelve; that when the deponent was first awakened out of his sleep as aforesaid, he heard Mrs Fowler, the landlady, call to the persons who were breaking open the deponent's bed-room, "What are ye doing?" or "Why do ye this?" and the deponent heard them at the same time cursing and swearing and making a great noise; and the deponent having only carried one bag of money along with him as aforesaid, he left in said bed-room the money and goods following, viz., the deponent's breeches, in which was a purse with fifty-two and a-half guineas, betwixt six and seven pounds in silver, and a pocket-book with one and forty pounds in bank notes, which purse and pocket-book the deponent exhibits in court; that besides the bank notes, there were several bills and other papers in the pocket-book, and that there was likewise in the deponent's breeches, a seal, a pair of silver shoe-buckles, and a penknife, which the deponent likewise exhibits; the deponent likewise left in his room a cloak-bag with some linens in it, which cloak-bag the deponent likewise exhibits in court; as also a bible, a pair of pistols, which the deponent likewise exhibits; that upon the deponent returning to his room as aforesaid, he found the door of the room broken up, and saw a press in the room which had been broken up, and found his breeches empty and all the several particulars above enumerated amissing; and thereafter, about seven o'clock in the morning, the deponent having gone to Anstruther-Easter, he soon thereafter saw the three panels in custody; and the deponent did then see in the hands of the magistrates of Anstruther, the seal, the buckles, and penknife above mentioned; depones that upon Monday following, being the 12th of January last, William Hall, panel, told the deponent that he had informed Alexander Clerk, supervisor of excise, where the purse of gold was to be found, whereupon the deponent desired the supervisor to go in quest of it, which he did, and having found it, he restored it to the deponent with the whole gold in it; and that the bible was returned to the deponent by one of the soldiers who apprehended Hall; that on Saturday night the 10th of January, the deponent got back his pocket-book and bank notes, with the other papers in the said pocket-book, from Bailie Robert Brown in Anstruther-Easter. _Causa scientiae patet. _And this is truth, as he shall answer to God. (Signed) James Stark; Andrew Fletcher.