SCENE II.

_The Inn._

_Enter_ HARRY, _and_ MIDGE.

_Harry._ Though I went back to Portsmouth academy with a contrite heart, to continue my studies, yet, from my father's angry letter, I dread a woeful storm at our first meeting. I fancy the people at this inn don't recollect me; it reminds me of my pleasant friend, poor Jack Rover, I wonder where he is now.

_Midge._ And brings to my memory a certain stray vaguing acquaintance of mine, poor Dick Buskin.

_Harry._ Ha, ha, ha! Then I desire, sir, you'll turn Dick Buskin again out of your memory.

_Midge._ Can't, sir. The dear, good-natur'd, wicked son of a----beg your honour's pardon.

_Harry._ Oh, but Midge, you must, as soon as I'm dressed, step out and enquire whose house is this my father's at; I did not think he had any acquaintance in this part of the country. Sound what humour he's in, and how the land lies, before I venture in his presence. [_Exeunt._

_Enter_ SIR GEORGE THUNDER, _agitated, and_ LANDLORD.

_Sir Geo._ I can hear nothing of these deserters; yet, by my first intelligence, they'll not venture up to London. They must still be lurking about the country. Landlord, have any suspicious persons ever put in at your house?

_Land._ Yes, sir; now and then.

_Sir Geo._ Zounds! what do you do with them?

_Land._ Why, sir, when a man calls for liquor that I think has no money, I make him pay beforehand.

_Sir Geo._ Damn your liquor, you self-interested porpoise! Chatter your own private concerns, when the public good, or fear of general calamity, should be the only compass! These fellows, that I'm in pursuit of, have run from their ships; if our navy's unmann'd, what becomes of you and your house, you dunghill cormorant?

_Land._ This is a very abusive sort of a gentleman; but he has a full pocket, or he wouldn't be so saucy. [_Aside._] [_Exit._

_Sir Geo._ This rascal, I believe, doesn't know I'm Sir George Thunder. Winds, still variable, blow my affairs right athwart each other.--To know what's become of my runagate son Harry,--and there my rich lady niece, pressing and squeezing up the noble plumage of our illustrious family in her little mean quaker bonnet. But I must up to town after--'Sblood, when I catch my son Harry!--Oh, here's John Dory.

_Enter_ JOHN DORY.

Have you taken the places in the London coach for me?

_John._ Hahoy! your honour, is that yourself?

_Sir Geo._ No, I'm beside myself--heard any thing of my son?--

_John._ What's o'clock?

_Sir Geo._ What do you talk of clocks or timepieces--All glasses, reck'ning, and log-line, are run mad with me.

_John._ If it's two, your son is at this moment walking with Lady Amaranth in her garden.

_Sir Geo._ With Lady Amaranth!

_John._ If half after, they're cast anchor to rest themselves amongst the posies; if three, they're got up again; if four, they're picking a bit of cramm'd fowl; and, if half after, they're picking their teeth, and cracking walnuts over a bottle of Calcavella.

_Sir Geo._ My son! my dear friend, where did you find him?

_John._ Why, I found him where he was, and I left him where he is.

_Sir Geo._ What, and he came to Lady Amaranth's?

_John._ No; but I brought him there from this house, in her ladyship's chariot. I won't tell him Master Harry went amongst the players, or he'd never forgive him. [_Aside._] Oh! such a merry, civil, crazy, crack-brain! the very picture of your honour.

_Sir Geo._ Ha, ha, ha! What, he's in high spirits? ha, ha, ha! the dog! [_Joyfully._] But I hope he's had discretion enough to throw a little gravity over his mad humour, before his prudent cousin.

_John._ He threw himself on his knees before her, and that did quite as well.

_Sir Geo._ Ha, ha, ha! made love to her already! Oh, the impudent, the cunning villain! What, and may be he--[_With great glee._]

_John._ Indeed he did give her a smack.

_Sir Geo._ Me; ha, ha, ha!

_John._ Oh, he's yours! a chip of the old block.

_Sir Geo._ He is! he is! ha, ha, ha!

_John._ Oh, he threw his arms around her as eager as I would to catch a falling decanter of Madeira.

_Sir Geo._ Huzza! victoria! Here will be a junction of bouncing estates! but, confound the money. John, you shall have a bowl for a jolly boat to swim in; roll in here a puncheon of rum, a hogshead of sugar, shake an orchard of oranges, and let the Landlord drain his fish-pond yonder. [_Sings._] "A bumper! a bumper of good liquor," &c.

_John._ Then, my good master, Sir George, I'll order a bowl in, since you are in the humour for it--"We'll dance a little, and sing a little." [_Singing._] [_Exit._

_Sir Geo._ And so the wild rogue is this instant rattling up her prim ladyship. Eh, isn't this he? Left her already!

_Enter_ HARRY.

_Harry._ I must have forgot my cane in this room--My father! Eh! zounds!

_Sir Geo._ [_Looks at his watch._] Just half after four! Why, Harry, you've made great haste in cracking your walnuts.

_Harry._ Yes; he's heard of my frolics with the players. [_Aside._] Dear father, if you'll but forgive--

_Sir Geo._ Why, indeed, Harry, you've acted very bad.

_Harry._ Sir, it should be considered I was but a novice.

_Sir Geo._ However, I shall think of nothing now but your benefit.

_Harry._ Very odd, his approving of--[_Aside._] I thank you, sir, but, if agreeable to you, I've done with benefits.

_Sir Geo._ If I wasn't the best of fathers, you might indeed hope none from me; but no matter, if you can but get the _fair quaker_.

_Harry._ _Or the humours of the navy_, sir?

_Sir Geo._ What, how dare you reflect on the humours of the navy? The navy has very good humours, or I'd never see your dog's face again, you villain! But I'm cool. What, eh, boy, a snug, easy chariot?

_Harry._ I'll order it. Waiter, desire my father's carriage to draw up. [_Calls._

_Sir Geo._ Mine, you rogue! I've none here. I mean Lady Amaranth's.

_Harry._ Yes, sir; Lady Amaranth's chariot! [_Calling._]

_Sir Geo._ What are you at? I mean that which you left this house in.

_Harry._ Chariot! sir, I left this house on foot.

_Sir Geo._ What, with John Dory?

_Harry._ No, sir, with Jack Rover.

_Sir Geo._ Why, John has been a rover to be sure; but now he's settled, since I've made him my valet de chambre.

_Harry._ Make him your valet! Why, sir, where did you meet him?

_Sir Geo._ Zounds! I met him on board, and I met him on shore, and the cabin, steerage, gallery, and forecastle. He sailed round the world with me.

_Harry._ Strange this, sir! certainly I understood he had been in the East Indies; but he never told me he even knew you; but, indeed, he knew me only by the name of Dick Buskin.

_Sir Geo._ Then how came he to bring you to Lady Amaranth's?

_Harry._ Bring me where?

_Sir Geo._ Answer me. Ar'n't you now come from her ladyship's.

_Harry._ [_Stares._] Me? Not I.

_Sir Geo._ Ha! this is a lie of John's, to enhance his own services. Then you have not been there?

_Harry._ There! I don't know where you mean, sir.

_Sir Geo._ Yes; 'tis all a brag of John's, but I'll--

_Enter_ JOHN DORY.

_John._ The rum and sugar is ready; but as for the fish-pond--

_Sir Geo._ I'll kick you into it, you thirsty old grampus.

_John._ Will you? Then I'll make a comical roasted orange.

_Sir Geo._ How dare you say you brought my son to Lady Amaranth's?

_John._ And who says I did not?

_Sir Geo._ He that best should know; only Dick Buskin here.

_John._ Then Dick Buskin might find some other amusement than shooting off his guns here.

_Sir Geo._ Did you bring my son to Lady Amaranth's in her chariot?

_John._ And to be sure I did.

_Sir Geo._ There, what do you say to that?

_Harry._ I say it's false.

_John._ False! Shiver my hulk, Mr. Buskin, if you wore a lion's skin, I'd curry you for this. [_Exit, in a rage._

_Sir Geo._ No, no, John's honest; I see through it now. The puppy has seen her, perhaps he has the impudence not to like her, and so blows up this confusion and perplexity only to break off a marriage that I've set my heart on.

_Harry._ What does he mean? Sir, I'll assure you--

_Sir Geo._ Damn your assurance, you disobedient, ungrateful--I'll not part with you till I confront you with Lady Amaranth herself, face to face, and if I prove you've been deceiving me, I'll launch you into the wide ocean of life without rudder, compass, grog, or tobacco. [_Exeunt._

ACT THE FOURTH.