Part 1

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This etext was produced by David Widger <[email protected]>

WIDGER'S QUOTATIONS

FROM THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EDITION OF LORD CHESTERFIELD'S LETTERS TO HIS SON

by David Widger

CONTENTS:

The Entire PG Edition of Chesterfield .....[LC#11][lcewk10.txt]3261 Complete Letters to His Son ...............[LC#11][lc11s10.txt]3361 Letters To His Son 1766-71, ...............[LC#10][lc10s10.txt]3360 Letters To His Son 1759-65, ...............[LC#09][lc09s10.txt]3359 Letters To His Son 1756-58, ...............[LC#08][lc08s10.txt]3358 Letters To His Son 1753-54, ...............[LC#07][lc07s10.txt]3357 Letters To His Son 1752, ..................[LC#06][lc06s10.txt]3356 Letters To His Son 1751, ..................[LC#05][lc05s10.txt]3355 Letters To His Son 1750, ..................[LC#04][lc04s10.txt]3354 Letters To His Son 1749, ..................[LC#03][lc03s10.txt]3353 Letters To His Son 1748, ..................[LC#02][lc02s10.txt]3352 Letters To His Son 1746-47, ...............[LC#01][lc01s10.txt]3351

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WIDGER'S QUOTATIONS

LETTERS TO HIS SON, 1746-47 [LC#01][lc01sxxx.xxx]3351

DEAR BOY: There is nothing which I more wish that you should know, and which fewer people do know, than the true use and value of time. It is in everybody's mouth; but in few people's practice.

Have a real reserve with almost everybody; and have a seeming reserve with almost nobody; for it is very disagreeable to seem reserved, and very dangerous not to be so. Few people find the true medium; many are ridiculously mysterious and reserved upon trifles; and many imprudently communicative of all they know.

There is nothing that people bear more impatiently, or forgive less, than contempt; and an injury is much sooner forgotten than an insult.

The young leading the young, is like the blind leading the blind; (they will both fall into the ditch.) The only sure guide is, he who has often gone the road which you want to go.

People will, in a great degree, and not without reason, form their opinion of you, upon that which they have of your friends; and there is a Spanish proverb, which says very justly, TELL ME WHO YOU LIVE WITH AND I WILL TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE!

Attention and civility please all Avoid singularity Blindness of the understanding is as much to be pitied Choose your pleasures for yourself Civility, which is a disposition to accommodate and oblige others Complaisant indulgence for people's weaknesses Contempt Disagreeable to seem reserved, and very dangerous not to be so Do as you would be done by Do what you are about Dress well, and not too well Dress like the reasonable people of your own age Easy without too much familiarity Employ your whole time, which few people do Exalt the gentle in woman and man--above the merely genteel Eyes and ears open and mouth mostly shut Fit to live--or not live at all Flexibility of manners is necessary in the course of the world Genteel without affectation Geography and history are very imperfect separately Good-breeding Gratitude not being universal, nor even common Greatest fools are the greatest liars He that is gentil doeth gentil deeds If once we quarrel, I will never forgive Injury is much sooner forgotten than an insult Judge of every man's truth by his degree of understanding Knowing any language imperfectly Knowledge: either despise it, or think that they have enough Labor is the unavoidable fatigue of a necessary journey Let nothing pass till you understand it Life of ignorance is not only a very contemptible, but tiresome Listlessness and indolence are always blameable Make a great difference between companions and friends Make himself whatever he pleases, except a good poet Merit and good-breeding will make their way everywhere Never maintain an argument with heat and clamor Observe, without being thought an observer Only doing one thing at a time Pay them with compliments, but not with confidence Pleasure is the rock which most young people split upon Pride of being the first of the company Real friendship is a slow grower Receive them with great civility, but with great incredulity Recommend (pleasure) to you, like an Epicurean Respectful without meanness, easy without too much familiarity Scarce any flattery is too gross for them to swallow Sentiment-mongers State your difficulties, whenever you have any Studied and elaborate dress of the ugliest women in the world Sure guide is, he who has often gone the road which you want to Talk of natural affection is talking nonsense Nothing so precious as time, and so irrecoverable when lost Unguarded frankness Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well Wrapped up and absorbed in their abstruse speculations

LETTERS TO HIS SON, 1748 [LC#02][lc02sxxx.xxx]3352

They go abroad, as they call it; but, in truth, they stay at home all that while; for being very awkward, confoundedly ashamed, and not speaking the languages.

If, therefore, you would avoid the accusation of pedantry on one hand, or the suspicion of ignorance on the other, abstain from learned ostentation.

Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most always like it the least.

Common sense (which, in truth, very uncommon) is the best sense I know of: abide by it, it will counsel you best.

La Rochefoucault, is, I know, blamed, but I think without reason, for deriving all our actions from the source of self-love. For my own part, I see a great deal of truth, and no harm at all, in that opinion. It is certain that we seek our own happiness in everything we do.

A little learning is a dangerous thing Above all things, avoid speaking of yourself Above the frivolous as below the important and the secret Absolute command of your temper Abstain from learned ostentation Absurd term of genteel and fashionable vices Advice is seldom welcome Affectation in dress Always look people in the face when you speak to them Ancients and Moderns Argumentative, polemical conversations As willing and as apt to be pleased as anybody Authority Better not to seem to understand, than to reply Cannot understand them, or will not desire to understand them Cardinal de Retz Cardinal Virtues, by first degrading them into weaknesses Cautious how we draw inferences Chameleon, be able to take every different hue Cheerful in the countenance, but without laughing Common sense (which, in truth, very uncommon) Commonplace observations Complaisance Consciousness and an honest pride of doing well Contempt Conversation will help you almost as much as books Conversation-stock being a joint and common property Converse with his inferiors without insolence Deserve a little, and you shall have but a little Desirous of praise from the praiseworthy Dexterity enough to conceal a truth without telling a lie Difficulties seem to them, impossibilities Distinguish between the useful and the curious Do as you would be done by Do what you will but do something all day long Either do not think, or do not love to think Equally forbid insolent contempt, or low envy and jealousy Even where you are sure, seem rather doubtful Every virtue, has its kindred vice or weakness Fiddle-faddle stories, that carry no information along with them Flattery of women Forge accusations against themselves Forgive, but not approve, the bad. Frank, open, and ingenuous exterior, with a prudent interior Gain the affections as well as the esteem Generosity often runs into profusion Go to the bottom of things Good company Graces: Without us, all labor is vain Great learning; which, if not accompanied with sound judgment Great numbers of people met together, animate each other Habit and prejudice Half done or half known Hardly any body good for every thing Have a will and an opinion of your own, and adhere to it Have but one set of jokes to live upon He will find it out of himself without your endeavors Heart has such an influence over the understanding Helps only, not as guides Historians Honest error is to be pitied, not ridiculed Honestest man loves himself best How much you have to do; and how little time to do it in I hope, I wish, I doubt, and fear alternately I shall always love you as you shall deserve. If you would convince others, seem open to conviction yourself Impertinent insult upon custom and fashion Inaction at your age is unpardonable Jealous of being slighted Judge them all by their merits, but not by their ages Keep good company, and company above yourself Know their real value, and how much they are generally overrated Knowledge is like power in this respect Knowledge of a scholar with the manners of a courtier Laughing, I must particularly warn you against it Lazy mind, and the trifling, frivolous mind Let me see more of you in your letters Little minds mistake little objects for great ones Loud laughter is the mirth of the mob Low buffoonery, or silly accidents, that always excite laughter Low company, most falsely and impudently, call pleasure Luther's disappointed avarice Make yourself necessary Manner of doing things is often more important Manners must adorn knowledge May not forget with ease what you have with difficulty learned More one sees, the less one either wonders or admires More you know, the modester you should be Mortifying inferiority in knowledge, rank, fortune Most long talkers single out some one unfortunate man in company Much sooner forgive an injustice than an insult Mystical nonsense Name that we leave behind at one place often gets before us Neglect them in little things, they will leave you in great Negligence of it implies an indifference about pleasing Neither retail nor receive scandal willingly Never quit a subject till you are thoroughly master of it Never seem wiser, nor more learned, than the people you are with Never slattern away one minute in idleness Never to speak of yourself at all Not one minute of the day in which you do nothing at all Not to admire anything too much Oftener led by their hearts than by their understandings Out of livery; which makes them both impertinent and useless Overvalue what we do not know Pay your own reckoning, but do not treat the whole company People angling for praise People never desire all till they have gotten a great deal Plain notions of right and wrong Planted while young, that degree of knowledge now my refuge Pleased to some degree by showing a desire to please Pleasing in company is the only way of being pleased in yourself Pleasure and business with equal inattention Prefer useful to frivolous conversations Pride remembers it forever Prudent reserve Reason ought to direct the whole, but seldom does Refuge of people who have neither wit nor invention of their own Refuse more gracefully than other people could grant Repeating Represent, but do not pronounce Rochefoucault Rough corners which mere nature has given to the smoothest Scandal: receiver is always thought, as bad as the thief Scarcely any body who is absolutely good for nothing Scrupled no means to obtain his ends Secrets Seeming frankness with a real reserve Seeming openness is prudent Self-love draws a thick veil between us and our faults Serious without being dull Shakespeare Shepherds and ministers are both men Some complaisance and attention to fools is prudent Some men pass their whole time in doing nothing Something or other is to be got out of everybody Swearing Take nothing for granted, upon the bare authority of the author Take, rather than give, the tone of the company you are in Talk often, but never long Talk sillily upon a subject of other people's Talking of either your own or other people's domestic affairs Tell me whom you live with, and I will tell you who you are Tell stories very seldom The best have something bad, and something little The worst have something good, and sometimes something great Thin veil of Modesty drawn before Vanity Thoroughly, not superficially To know people's real sentiments, I trust much more to my eyes Unopened, because one title in twenty has been omitted Value of moments, when cast up, is immense Vanity, that source of many of our follies What displeases or pleases you in others What you feel pleases you in them When well dressed for the day think no more of it afterward Will not so much as hint at our follies Witty without satire or commonplace Wrongs are often forgiven; but contempt never is You had much better hold your tongue than them Your merit and your manners can alone raise you

LETTERS TO HIS SON, 1749 [LC#03][lc03sxxx.xxx]3353

He always does more than he says.

The arrogant pedant does not communicate, but promulgates his knowledge. He does not give it you, but he inflicts it upon you; and is(if possible) more desirous to show you your own ignorance than his own learning.

Due attention to the inside of books, and due contempt for the outside, is the proper relation between a man of sense and his books.

Cardinal de Retz observes, very justly, that every numerous assembly is a mob, influenced by their passions, humors, and affections, which nothing but eloquence ever did or ever can engage.

Frivolous curiosity about trifles, and a laborious attention to little objects which neither require nor deserve a moment's thought, lower a man; who from thence is thought (and not unjustly) incapable of greater matters.

Idleness is only the refuge of weak minds, and the holiday of fools.

May you live as long as you are fit to live, but no longer! or may you rather die before you cease to be fit to live!

A joker is near akin to a buffoon Ablest man will sometimes do weak things Above trifles, he is never vehement and eager about them Advise those who do not speak elegantly, not to speak Always does more than he says Always some favorite word for the time being Arrogant pedant Ascribing the greatest actions to the most trifling causes Assign the deepest motives for the most trifling actions Attend to the objects of your expenses, but not to the sums Attention to the inside of books Awkward address, ungraceful attitudes and actions Being in the power of every man to hurt him Can hardly be said to see what they see Cardinal Mazarin Cardinal Richelieu Complaisance due to the custom of the place Conjectures supply the defect of unattainable knowledge Connive at knaves, and tolerate fools Deep learning is generally tainted with pedantry Deepest learning, without good-breeding, is unwelcome Desirous of pleasing Dictate to them while you seem to be directed by them Dissimulation is only to hide our own cards Do not become a virtuoso of small wares Does not give it you, but he inflicts it upon you Endeavors to please and oblige our fellow-creatures Every man pretends to common sense Every numerous assembly is a mob Eyes and the ears are the only roads to the heart Few dare dissent from an established opinion Few things which people in general know less, than how to love Flattering people behind their backs Fools never perceive where they are ill-timed Friendship upon very slight acquaintance Frivolous curiosity about trifles Frivolous, idle people, whose time hangs upon their own hands Gain the heart, or you gain nothing General conclusions from certain particular principles Good manners Haste and hurry are very different things Herd of mankind can hardly be said to think Human nature is always the same Hurt those they love by a mistaken indulgence Idleness is only the refuge of weak minds If I don't mind his orders he won't mind my draughts Inattentive, absent; and distrait Incontinency of friendship among young fellows Indiscriminate familiarity Inquisition Insist upon your neither piping nor fiddling yourself Insolent civility It is not sufficient to deserve well; one must please well too Know the true value of time Known people pretend to vices they had not Knows what things are little, and what not Learn, if you can, the WHY and the WHEREFORE Leave the company, at least as soon as he is wished out of it Led, much oftener by little things than by great ones Little failings and weaknesses Love with him, who they think is the most in love with them Machiavel Mastery of one's temper May you live as long as you are fit to live, but no longer! May you rather die before you cease to be fit to live Moderation with your enemies Most people have ears, but few have judgment; tickle those ears Never implicitly adopt a character upon common fame Never would know anything that he had not a mind to know No man is distrait with the man he fears, or the woman he loves Nothing in courts is exactly as it appears to be Our understandings are generally the DUPES of our hearts People will repay, and with interest too, inattention Perfection of everything that is worth doing at all POLITICIANS NEITHER LOVE NOR HATE Public speaking Quietly cherished error, instead of seeking for truth Reciprocally profess wishes which they seldom form Reserve with your friends Six, or at most seven hours sleep Sooner forgive an injury than an insult There are many avenues to every man Those who remarkably affect any one virtue Three passions that often put honesty to most severe trials To great caution, you can join seeming frankness and openness Trifling parts, with their little jargon Truth leaves no room for compliments We have many of those useful prejudices in this country Whatever pleases you most in others World is taken by the outside of things

LETTERS TO HIS SON, 1750 [LC#04][lc04sxxx.xxx]3354

What pleases you in others, will in general please them in you.

Spare the persons while you lash the crimes.

Pocket all your knowledge with your watch, and never pull it out in company unless desired: the producing of the one unasked, implies that you are weary of the company; and the producing of the other unrequired, will make the company weary of you.

People hate those who make them feel their own inferiority. Conceal all your learning carefully....

A man of the world knows the force of flattery; but then he knows how, when, and where to give it; he proportions his dose to the constitution of the patient. He flatters by application, by inference, by comparison, by hint, and seldom directly.

Absurd romances of the two last centuries Advocate, the friend, but not the bully of virtue Assurance and intrepidity Attention Author is obscure and difficult in his own language Characters, that never existed, are insipidly displayed Commanding with dignity, you must serve up to it with diligence Complaisance to every or anybody's opinion Conceal all your learning carefully Connections Contempt Content yourself with mediocrity in nothing Dance to those who pipe Decides peremptorily upon every subject Desire to please, and that is the main point Desirous to make you their friend Despairs of ever being able to pay Difference in everything between system and practice Dignity to be kept up in pleasures, as well as in business Distinction between simulation and dissimulation Do not mistake the tinsel of Tasso for the gold of Virgil Doing what may deserve to be written Done under concern and embarrassment, must be ill done Dressed as the generality of people of fashion are Economist of your time Establishing a character of integrity and good manners Feed him, and feed upon him at the same time Flattery Fortune stoops to the forward and the bold Frivolous and superficial pertness Gentlemen, who take such a fancy to you at first sight Guard against those who make the most court to you Have no pleasures but your own If you will persuade, you must first please Improve yourself with the old, divert yourself with the young Indiscriminately loading their memories with every part alike Insipid in his pleasures, as inefficient in everything else Labor more to put them in conceit with themselves Lay down a method for everything, and stick to it inviolably Let blockheads read what blockheads wrote Let nobody discover that you do know your own value Let them quietly enjoy their errors in taste Man is dishonored by not resenting an affront Manner is full as important as the matter Method Modesty is the only sure bait when you angle for praise Money, the cause of much mischief More people have ears to be tickled, than understandings to judge Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends Necessity of scrupulously preserving the appearances Never affect the character in which you have a mind to shine Never read history without having maps No one feels pleasure, who does not at the same time give it Not only pure, but, like Caesar's wife, unsuspected Often more necessary to conceal contempt than resentment Passes for a wit, though he hath certainly no uncommon share Patient toleration of certain airs of superiority People hate those who make them feel their own inferiority People lose a great deal of time by reading Pleased with him, by making them first pleased with themselves Pleasure is necessarily reciprocal Pocket all your knowledge with your watch Put out your time, but to good interest Real merit of any kind will be discovered Respect without timidity Rich man never borrows Same coolness and unconcern in any and every company Seem to like and approve of everything at first Sentiments that were never felt, pompously described She has all the reading that a woman should have She who conquers only catches a Tartar Silence in love betrays more woe Spare the persons while you lash the crimes Steady assurance, with seeming modesty Suspicion of age, no woman, let her be ever so old, ever forgive Take the hue of the company you are with Taking up adventitious, proves their want of intrinsic merit The present moments are the only ones we are sure of Those whom you can make like themselves better Timidity and diffidence To be heard with success, you must be heard with pleasure To be pleased one must please Trifle only with triflers; and be serious only with the serious Trite jokes and loud laughter reduce him to a buffoon Unwilling and forced; it will never please Well dressed, not finely dressed What is impossible, and what is only difficult What pleases you in others, will in general please them in you Whatever real merit you have, other people will discover Wish you, my dear friend, as many happy new years as you deserve Women choose their favorites more by the ear Words are the dress of thoughts Writing what may deserve to be read You must be respectable, if you will be respected Your character there, whatever it is, will get before you here

LETTERS TO HIS SON, 1751 [LC#05][lc05sxxx.xxx]3355

If you find that you have a hastiness in your temper, which unguardedly breaks out into indiscreet sallies, or rough expressions, to either your superiors, your equals, or your inferiors, watch it narrowly, check it carefully, and call the 'suaviter in modo' to your assistance: at the first impulse of passion, be silent till you can be soft.