Part 2

ADELA. No matter; obey me, or I tell all. (_door, L., is violently shaken_) There he is--open yonder door--now, Mr. Harry, we shall see! (_runs off, door, R.--shaking at door, L., continues_)

SIMON. (_staggering across_) Don't be in a hurry--don't be in a hurry! (_unbolts door, L.--FRANK darts on with scent bottle, which he rams against SIMON'S nose_)

FRANK. Sniff--sniff! and then swallow it--eh? (_looking round_) Where is she?

SIMON. Here I am, sir.

FRANK. (_crossing to R._) The young lady that I left here fainting.

SIMON. (_looking round_) Eh? yes, she _is_ gone.

FRANK. (_trying R. door_) Fastened! (_looking at SIMON_) Go to bed, wretch! (_placing scent bottle on table_)

SIMON. (_taking cushion from easy chair_) Let me get my pillow.

FRANK. Horribly drunk!

SIMON. I was just now, but it's evaporating.

FRANK. Go out into the air.

SIMON. (_going_) Yes, I'll go to the park gate, and go to bed.

FRANK. Be off!

SIMON. (_returning_) Stop a bit--I haven't got my nightcap. (_takes bottle from easy chair_)

FRANK. (_pushing him off_) Begone, drunken brute!

_SIMON goes off, C. door, carrying cushion and bottle._

I have behaved like a ruffian to that charming creature--I must obtain her forgiveness, for I doat upon her--never was in love before, and the novel sensation is so delightful that--(_tapping at R. door_) Adelaide--Miss Adelaide--charming Adelaide! if you would but pardon me--if you would but hear me! (_gate bell rings without_) What's that about at this time of night? Oh! it's that idiot Simon; he said he was going to the park gates. Luckily there is no one to be disturbed here.

_ADELAIDE enters, C. door, as an old lady._

ADELA. No, no, I don't want anybody to accompany me.

FRANK. (_turning_) Who's that?

ADELA. (_aside_) You will know presently. (_aloud_) Eh! a woman! what do you want here? who are you?

FRANK. For that matter, ma'am, who are you?

ADELA. Who am I! you ask me that! Don't you know I am the mistress of this house?

FRANK. (_aside_) My grandmother--phew! I should never have known her.

ADELA. And I should be glad to know what you are doing in my house at this hour of the night.

FRANK. (R. C.) Well, the fact is--(_aside_) The devil, though, I can't tell her in this dress that I am her grandson.

ADELA. (_going up_) If you don't answer, I shall call Simon to bundle you out.

FRANK. (_aside_) Ah! (_aloud_) I am the companion.

ADELA. You a companion at your age?

FRANK. Yes, ma'am, I am a widow.

ADELA. But Dunstable wrote to me that she was young and pretty; and you are as old as the hills.

FRANK. Oh, no! but I have seen so much trouble.

ADELA. And you are ugly--downright ugly.

FRANK. Well, beauty is all a matter of opinion.

ADELA. And look here, what is this? (_taking FRANK by the arm and making him pass before her_) Wine, cigars, a pipe, in my house! gracious goodness!

FRANK. (L. C.) I was going to tell you--it's your grandson.

ADELA. (R. C.) My grandson?

FRANK. Yes, Harry--he is here--and the pipe-- (_aside_) I shall bolt. (_aloud_) I will inform him of your arrival.

ADELA. (_clutching his arm_) No, never mind, I shall see him to-morrow. (_looking at him and starting_) Why, can I believe my eyes? that's one of my gowns you have on.

FRANK. (_aside_) Oh, lord!

ADELA. And that is my bonnet.

FRANK. I'll tell you how it happened----

ADELA. And that mantle is mine, too.

FRANK. Well, as to the mantle----

ADELA. You are a pretty companion--you are a thief.

FRANK. A thief!

ADELA. Yes, one of the female swell mob. I'll send Simon for the police.

_FRANK runs off, C. door._

(_laughing_) Now, Mr. Harry, I think we are equal. It is too late to-night to go to the Golden Lion; so I will stay here, retain this costume, and----

FRANK. (_without_) My grandmother arrived!

ADELA. Ah! he is returning. I did not bargain for that. (_going over to L._) But he will not suspect, and----

FRANK. (_running on, door C._) Grandmother, grandmother, embrace your little grandson--let me kiss you, grandmother!

ADELA. (_retreating_) No, no, certainly not.

FRANK. Then you no longer love your little grandson?

ADELA. You are a wicked boy.

FRANK. Oh, grandmother!

ADELA. Poor Jane!

FRANK. (_aside_) Who is she, I wonder?

ADELA. After having been so long engaged to marry her, everything prepared, the wedding day fixed, all at once you write that you have altered your mind, and don't intend to marry yet awhile, leaving poor Jane to break her heart and die.

FRANK. Really, I am very sorry for poor Jane--though, 'pon my soul, I don't know who she is.

ADELA. Oh, Harry, Harry!

FRANK. Ah! I see how it is; you think I am Harry.

ADELA. Well?

FRANK. (_aside_) I am not going to answer for his evil deeds. (_aloud_) Well, I happen to be Frank.

ADELA. You are Frank!

FRANK. I am free to confess that I am, and the proof (_drawing papers from his pocket_) see--no, that is my tailor's bill; 'tis not at present receipted, but I depend on your liberality, grandmother----

ADELA. (_aside_) What does this mean?

FRANK. (_finding letter that has been given him by SIMON_) Yes, here it is; look at that; the letter which you wrote to me. (_reading_) "My dear Frank," you see, "your brother Harry is a bad fellow; tell him from us that unless he becomes within a week, the husband of poor Jane, we have done with him for ever."

ADELA. (_aside_) What do I hear?

FRANK. "For yourself, if you wish that I should still love you----" (_hugging ADELAIDE_) Oh, my dear grandmother.

ADELA. There, there; that will do.

FRANK. "You will also get married." Do you really wish to see me married?

ADELA. Well--I--that is----

FRANK. Well, grandmother, you won't have to wait long; there is now in this house a charming young creature, she arrived but this evening, yet----

ADELA. (_astonished_) And it is she?

FRANK. Yes, grandmother.

ADELA. You know her, then?

FRANK. Know her----

_SIMON staggers on, door, L., still drunk, and wearing morning gown, &c., and carrying cushion and bottle._

SIMON. Sir, sir, your grandmother is returned.

FRANK. (R.) I know that, you fool, for here she is.

SIMON. (L.) Oh, but I mean the real 'un.

FRANK. The what?

ADELA. (C.) Can it be possible?

SIMON. Godfather has just seen them; the old coach broke down, the roads were so bad; so they have come back, and I was in the park, just going to bed----(_staggering, and trying to pull off morning gown--Exit, door C._)

ADELA. (_hastily snatching off her old woman's dress_) Oh, heaven!

FRANK. Ah! you!

ADELA. Let me go, for now that I know your brother will really marry my sister----

FRANK. Poor Jane is your sister?

ADELA. Jane Stirling, yes.

FRANK. Oh, well, of course, it's a family arrangement, altogether--and you and I are bound to get married immediately.

ADELA. What do you say?

FRANK. The two weddings will make but one.

ADELA. Well, by-and-bye, we shall see, perhaps. (_bell rings_)

_Enter SIMON, L., door._

SIMON. (_down, L._) There they are, do you hear that?

FRANK. Simon, if you say a word about this night's proceedings, I will tell grandfather that you have been wearing his morning gown.

SIMON. Oh, sir, it was you that----

ADELA. (_crossing to SIMON_) And I will tell him you were tipsy.

SIMON. Oh, mum!

FRANK. Now, let us prepare to receive them.

ADELA. Yes.

SIMON. Oh, you needn't be in a hurry, they don't walk very fast, you will have time to get married, and to ask pardon for all your sins.

ADELA. (_to AUDIENCE_) More indulgence is always shewn to venerable age than is bestowed on giddy youth, and our great age, we think, deserves your consideration.

FRANK. (_as old woman_) Think of my eighty years, and be good children. Simon, 'tis now your turn to implore!

SIMON. My wife will be back directly!

FRANK. ADELAIDE. SIMON. R. L.

_Curtain._

Printed by Thomas Scott, Warwick Court, Holborn.

Transcriber's Note

This transcription is based on images digitized from a microform copy made available by the University of California, Davis. These images have been posted on the Internet Archive at:

archive.org/details/SuterWantedYoungLady

Because of the quality of the images, this transcription was compared with the text posted by the Victorian Plays Project at:

victorian.nuigalway.ie/modx/assets/docs/pdf/Vol66ivWanted.pdf

In general, this transcription attempts to retain the formatting, punctuation and spelling of the source text, including variant spellings such as "atchieu," "doat," and "shewn."

The following changes were made:

-- p. 3: Deleted "[Mr. Lacy's List.]" at the top of the page. This appears to be a typesetting error.

-- p. 3: SCENE.--_Interior of an old Country Mansion; door, C; door, R;_--For consistency, added a period after "C" and "R".

-- p. 8: FRANK. (_to ADELAIDE_) He says his wife will be back direcctly.--Changed "direcctly" to "directly".

-- p. 12: FRANK. Nor I. (_filling glasses_) but a glass of wine--Capitalized "but" after the parenthesis.

-- p. 12: my poor husband has got the rheumatism. (_filling his pipe_) but if you object--Capitalized "but" after the parenthesis.

-- p. 13: (_runs off, door, R.--shaking at, door, L., continues_)--Deleted comma after "_at_".

-- p. 14: FRANK. (R. C ) Well, the fact is--Inserted a period between "C" and the closing parenthesis.

End of Project Gutenberg's 'Wanted, A Young Lady', by William E. Suter