Part 4

The fact is thus: It having been many years since COPPER HALFPENCE OR FARTHINGS were last coined in this kingdom, they have been for some time very scarce, and many counterfeits passed about under the name of _raps_, several applications were made to England, that we might have liberty to coin new ones, as in former times we did; but they did not succeed. At last one Mr. Wood, a mean ordinary man, a hardware dealer, procured a patent under his Majesty's broad seal to coin fourscore and ten thousand pounds in copper for this kingdom, which patent however did not oblige any one here to take them, unless they pleased. Now you must know, that the halfpence and farthings in England pass for very little more than they are worth. And if you should beat them to pieces, and sell them to the brazier you would not lose above a penny in a shilling. But Mr. Wood made his halfpence of such base metal, and so much smaller than the English ones, that the brazier would not give you above a penny of good money for a shilling of his; so that this sum of fourscore and ten thousand pounds in good gold and silver, must be given for trash that will not be worth above eight or nine thousand pounds real value. But this is not the worst, for Mr. Wood, when he pleases, may by stealth send over another and another fourscore and ten thousand pounds, and buy all our goods for eleven parts in twelve, under the value. For example, if a hatter sells a dozen of hats for five shillings a-piece, which amounts to three pounds, and receives the payment in Mr. Wood's coin, he really receives only the value of five shillings.

Perhaps you will wonder how such an ordinary fellow as this Mr. Wood could have so much interest as to get His Majesty's broad seal for so great a sum of bad money, to be sent to this poor country, and that all the nobility and gentry here could not obtain the same favour, and let us make our own halfpence, as we used to do. Now I will make that matter very plain. We are at a great distance from the King's court, and have nobody there to solicit for us, although a great number of lords and squires, whose estates are here, and are our countrymen, spending all their lives and fortunes there. But this same Mr. Wood was able to attend constantly for his own interest; he is an Englishman and had great friends, and it seems knew very well where to give money, and those that would speak to others that could speak to the King and could tell a fair story. And his Majesty, and perhaps the great lord or lords who advised him, might think it was for our country's good; and so, as the lawyers express it, "the King was deceived in his grant," which often happens in all reigns. And I am sure if his Majesty knew that such a patent, if it should take effect according to the desire of Mr. Wood, would utterly ruin this kingdom, which hath given such great proof of its loyalty, he would immediately recall it, and perhaps show his displeasure to some one or other. But "a word to the wise is enough." Most of you must have heard, with what anger our honourable House of Commons received an account of this Wood's patent. There were several fine speeches made upon it, and plain proof that it was all A WICKED CHEAT from the bottom to the top, and several smart notes were printed, which that same Wood had the assurance to answer likewise in print, and in so confident a way, as if he were a better man than our whole Parliament put together....

The common weight of this halfpence is between four and five to an ounce, suppose five, then three shillings and four-pence will weigh a pound, and consequently twenty shillings will weigh six pound butter weight. Now there are many hundred farmers who pay two hundred pound a year rent. Therefore when one of these farmers comes with his half-year's rent, which is one hundred pound, it will be at least six hundred pound weight, which is three horse load.

If a 'squire has a mind to come to town to buy clothes and wine and spices for himself and family, or perhaps to pass the winter here; he must bring with him five or six horses loaden with sacks as the farmers bring their corn; and when his lady comes in her coach to our shops, it must be followed by a car loaden with Mr. Wood's money. And I hope we shall have the grace to take it for no more than it is worth.

They say 'Squire Conolly [Speaker of the Irish House of Commons] has sixteen thousand pounds a year. Now if he sends for his rent to town, as it is likely he does, he must have two hundred and forty horses to bring up his half-year's rent, and two or three great cellars in his house for stowage. But what the bankers will do I cannot tell. For I am assured, that some great bankers keep by them forty thousand pounds in ready cash to answer all payments, which sum, in Mr. Wood's money, would require twelve hundred horses to carry it.

For my own part, I am already resolved what to do; I have a pretty good shop of Irish stuffs and silks, and instead of taking Mr. Wood's bad copper. I intend to truck with my neighbours the butchers, and bakers, and brewers, and the rest, goods for goods, and the little gold and silver I have, I will keep by me like my heart's blood till better times, or till I am just ready to starve, and then I will buy as my father did the brass money, in K. James's time,[4] I who could buy ten pound of it with a guinea....

When once the kingdom is reduced to such a condition, I will tell you what must be the end: The gentlemen of estates will all turn off their tenants for want of payment, because as I told you before, the tenants are obliged by their leases to pay sterling which is lawful current money of England; then they will turn their own farmers, as too many of them do already, run all into sheep where they can, keeping only such other cattle as are necessary, then they will be their own merchants and send their wool and butter and hides and linen beyond sea for ready money and wine and spices and silks. They will keep only a few miserable cottiers. The farmers must rob or beg, or leave their country. The shopkeepers in this and every other town, must break and starve: for it is the landed man that maintains the merchant, and shopkeeper, and handicraftsman.

But when the 'squire turns farmer and merchant himself, all the good money he gets from abroad, he will hoard up or send for England, and keep some poor tailor or weaver and the like in his own house, who will be glad to get bread at any rate.

I should never have done if I were to tell you all the miseries that we shall undergo if we be so foolish and wicked as to take this CURSED COIN. It would be very hard if all Ireland should be put into one scale, and this sorry fellow Wood into the other, that Mr. Wood should weigh down this whole kingdom, by which England gets above a million of good money every year clear into their pockets, and that is more than the English do by all the world besides.

But your great comfort is, that as His Majesty's patent does not oblige you to take this money, so the laws have not given the crown a power of forcing the subjects to take what money the King pleases. For then by the same reason we might be bound to take pebble-stones or cockle-shells or stamped leather for current coin, if ever we should happen to live under an ill prince, who might likewise by the same power make a guinea pass for ten pounds, a shilling for twenty shillings, and so on, by which he would in a short time get all the silver and gold of the kingdom into his own hands, and leave us nothing but brass or leather or what he pleased. Neither is anything reckoned more cruel or oppressive in the French government than their common practice of calling in all their money after they have sunk it very low, and then coining it anew at a much higher value, which however is not the thousandth part so wicked as this abominable project of Mr. Wood. For the French give their subjects silver for silver and gold for gold, but this fellow will not so much as give us good brass or copper for our gold and silver, nor even a twelfth part of their worth.

Having said thus much, I will now go on to tell you the judgments of some great lawyers in this matter, whom I fee'd on purpose for your sakes, and got their opinions under their hands, that I might be sure I went upon good grounds....

I will now, my dear friends, to save you the trouble, set before you in short, what the law obliges you to do, and what it does not oblige you to.

First, You are obliged to take all money in payments which is coined by the King and is of the English standard or weight, provided it be of gold or silver.

Secondly, You are not obliged to take any money which is not of gold or silver, no not the halfpence, or farthings of England, or of any other country, and it is only for convenience, or ease, that you are content to take them, because the custom of coining silver halfpence and farthings hath long been left off, I will suppose on account of their being subject to be lost.

Thirdly, Much less are you obliged to take those vile halfpence of that same Wood, by which you must lose almost eleven-pence in every shilling.

Therefore my friends, stand to it one and all, refuse this filthy trash. It is no treason to rebel against Mr. Wood. His Majesty in his patent obliges nobody to take these halfpence,[5] our gracious prince hath no so ill advisers about him; or if he had, yet you see the laws have not left it in the King's power, to force us to take any coin but what is lawful, of right standard gold and silver; therefore you have nothing to fear.

And let me in the next place apply myself particularly to you who are the poor sort of tradesmen. Perhaps you may think you will not be so great losers as the rich, if these halfpence should pass, because you seldom see any silver, and your customers come to your shops or stalls with nothing but brass, which you likewise find hard to be got. But you may take my word, whenever this money gains footing among you, you will be utterly undone; if you carry these halfpence to a shop for tobacco or brandy, or any other thing you want, the shopkeeper will advance his goods accordingly, or else he must break, and leave the key under the door. Do you think I will sell you a yard of tenpenny stuff for twenty of Mr. Wood's halfpence? No, not under two hundred at least, neither will I be at the trouble of counting, but weigh them in a lump. I will tell you one thing further, that if Mr. Wood's project should take, it will ruin even our beggars; for when I give a beggar an halfpenny, it will quench his thirst, or go a good way to fill his belly, but the twelfth part of a halfpenny will do him no more service than if I should give him three pins out of my sleeve.

In short these halfpence are like "the accursed thing, which," as the Scripture tells us, "the children of Israel were forbidden to touch": they will run about like the plague and destroy every one who lays his hands upon them. I have heard scholars talk of a man who told a king that he invented a way to torment people by putting them into a bull of brass with fire under it, but the prince put the projector first into his own brazen bull to make the experiment;[6] this very much resembles the project of Mr. Wood, and the like of this may possibly be Mr. Wood's fate, that the brass he contrived to torment this kingdom with, may prove his own torment, and his destruction at last.

* * * * *

N.B. The author of this paper is informed by persons who have made it their business to be exact in their observations on the true value of these halfpence, that any person may expect to get a quart of twopenny ale for thirty-six of them.

I desire all persons may keep this paper carefully by them to refresh their memories when ever they shall have farther notice of Mr. Wood's halfpence, or any other the like imposture.

[3] Swift's own _Proposal for the Universal Use of Irish Manufactures_.

[4] The famous "gun-money," coined to meet the exigencies of the Stuart army in Ireland, a crown piece of which was by a proclamation of William III. of July 10, 1690, to pass current as a penny.

[5] The words of the patent are "to pass and to be received as current money, by such as shall or will, voluntarily and wittingly, and not otherwise, receive the same" (the halfpence and farthings). [T. S.]

[6] Phalaris, the genuineness of whose _Letters_ had occasioned the famous controversy which brought about Swift's first venture into literature with the _Battle of the Books_.

CHARACTER OF GEORGE II. (1683-1760).

A. BY LORD HERVEY.

+Source.+--_Memoirs._ Vol. i., pp. 145, 146.

His faults were more the blemishes of a private man than of a King. The affection and tenderness he invariably showed to a people over whom he had unbounded rule [in Hanover] forbid our wondering that he used circumscribed power with moderation [in England]. Often situated in humiliating circumstances, his resentments seldom operated when the power of revenge returned. He bore the ascendant of his Ministers, who seldom were his favourites, with more patience than he suffered any encroachment on his will from his mistresses. Content to bargain for the gratification of his two predominant passions, Hanover and money, he was almost indifferent to the rest of his royal authority, provided exterior observance was not wanting; for he comforted himself if he did not perceive the diminution of Majesty, though it was notorious to all the rest of the world. Yet he was not so totally careless of the affection and interests of his country as his father had been. George the First possessed a sounder understanding and a better temper: yet George the Second gained more by being compared with his eldest son, than he lost if paralleled with his father.

B. BY HORACE WALPOLE.

+Source.+--_Memoirs of the Reign of George II._ (2nd ed.), 1848. Vol. i., pp. 175, 176; vol. iii., pp. 303, 304.

The King had fewer sensations of revenge, or at least knew how to hoard them better, than any man who ever sat upon a Throne. The insults he experienced from his own and those obliged servants, never provoked him enough to make him venture the repose of his people, or his own. If any object of his hate fell in his way, he did not pique himself upon heroic forgiveness, but would indulge it at the expense of his integrity, though not of his safety. He was reckoned strictly honest; but the burning his father's will must be reckoned an indelible blot upon his memory; as a much later instance [1749] of his refusing to pardon a young man who had been condemned at Oxford for a most trifling forgery, contrary to all example when recommended to mercy by the Judge, merely because Welles, who was attached to the Prince of Wales, had tried him and assured him his pardon, will stamp his name with cruelty, though in general his disposition was merciful if the offence was not murder. His avarice was much less equivocal than his courage; he had distinguished the latter early [at Oudenarde]; it grew more doubtful afterwards[7]: the former he distinguished very near as soon, and never deviated from it. His understanding was not near so deficient, as it was imagined; but though his character changed extremely in the world, it was without foundation; for [whether] he deserved to be so much ridiculed as he had been in the former part of his reign, or so respected as in the latter, he was consistent in himself, and uniformly meritorious or absurd.

[7] This is unjust--George II. displayed conspicuous courage at Dettingen.

THE CONDITION OF THE FLEET PRISON, AS REVEALED BY A PARLIAMENTARY ENQUIRY (1729).

A. DESCRIPTION OF THE WARDEN, THOMAS BAMBRIDGE.

+Source.+--Horace Walpole: _Anecdotes of Painting in England_, 1771. Vol. iv., p. 71.

I have a sketch in oil that Hogarth gave me, which he intended to engrave.[8] It was done at the time when the house of commons appointed a committee to enquire into the cruelties exercised on prisoners in the Fleet to extort money from them. The scene is the committee; on the table are the instruments of torture. A prisoner in rags, half starved, appears before them; the poor man has a good countenance that adds to the interest. On the other hand is the inhuman gaoler. It is the very figure that Salvator Rosa would have drawn of Iago in the moment of detection. Villainy, fear, and conscience are mixed in yellow and livid on his countenance, his lips are contracted by tremor, his face advances as eager to lie, his legs step back as thinking to make his escape; one hand is thrust precipitately into his bosom, the fingers of the other are catching uncertainly at his button-holes.

B. HIS CRUELTY.

+Source.+--_Lieutenant Bird's Letter from the Shades to T----s B-m-dge_, 1729. Pp. 37, 38.

As soon as he had introduced his Marmadons,[9] he began to treat the Prisoners in a Manner little different from that Dragooning, which, upon another Account the Protestants some time ago, suffer'd in _France_; some he clapp'd into Irons, and others he flung into dungeons; so that it may be said without much Impropriety, that the poor Prisoners underwent a perfect Persecution from their New Warden. The Effect of Persecution is always the same, tho' the Pretence may be Religion, or something else, yet Interest is the true Cause. It soon appear'd that all this Cruelty of B-mb-ge, was only to make the Prisoners more ready to comply with his Demands, by striking a previous Terror into their Minds, and they found out that the only Way to lay that spirit of Cruelty, which possess'd the New Warden, was to give up to his Avarice all the Little which was left them, or cou'd be procured from their Friends to support Life, which every one knows is as much as the generality of Men in those unfortunate Circumstances can hope or desire to do, so helpless they are of themselves, and so cold and scanty is the Charity and Allowance of Friends and Relations; many of those distress'd People, in order to satisfy his avaricious Demands, and to avoid his rigorous Treatment, which grew as terrible to them as an Inquisition, have been obliged to sell their Cloathes off their Backs and give up every Penny of their little Subsistence, by which Means they have been ready to perish with cold and hunger, passing many miserable Days together without eating a Morsel of Victuals.

C. FINDINGS OF THE PARLIAMENTARY COMMITTEE OF ENQUIRY.

+Source.+--T. B. Howell: _State Trials_. Vol. xvii., pp. 300-302.

The Committee of enquiry found amongst other things. That the said Thomas Bambridge ... caused one Jacob Mendez Solas[10] ... to be seized, fettered, and carried to Corbett's, the spunging-house, and there kept for upwards of a week, and when brought back into the prison, Bambridge caused him to be turned into the dungeon, called the Strong Room of the Master's side.

This place is a vault like those in which the dead are interred, and wherein the bodies of persons dying in the said prison are usually deposited, till the coroner's inquest hath passed upon them; it has no chimney nor fire-place, nor any light but what comes over the door, or through a hole of about eight inches square. It is neither paved nor boarded; and the rough bricks appear both on the sides and top, being neither wainscotted nor plastered: what adds to the dampness and stench of the place is, its being built over the common sewer.... In this miserable place the poor wretch was kept by the said Bambridge, manacled and shackled, for near two months. At length, on receiving five guineas from Mr. Kemp, a friend of Solas's, Bambridge released the prisoner from his cruel confinement. But though his chains were taken off, his terror still remained, and the unhappy man was prevailed upon by that terror, not only to labour _gratis_, for the said Bambridge, but to swear also at random all that he hath required of him; and the Committee themselves saw an instance of the deep impression his sufferings had made upon him; for on his surmising, from something said, that Bambridge was to return again, as Warden of the Fleet, he fainted, and the blood started out of his mouth and nose.

[The sufferings of Captain John Mackpheadnis, who was ruined by being surety for a man in the South Sea Bubble, are then narrated. He was forced to pay double fees, his room, which he duly rented and had himself furnished, was wrecked, and he was forced "to lie in the open yard called the Bare," where the little hut he built was pulled down, and he was exposed to the rain all night. Finally Bambridge used actual torture.]

Next morning the said Bambridge entered the prison with a detachment of soldiers, and ordered the prisoner to be dragged to the lodge, and ironed with great irons, on which he desired to know for what cause, and by what authority he was to be so cruelly used? Bambridge replied, "It was by his own authority, and damm him he would do it, and have his life." The prisoner desired that he might be carried before a magistrate, that he might know his crime before he was punished; but Bambridge refused, and put irons upon his legs which were too little, so that in forcing them on, his legs were like to have been broken; and the torture was impossible to be endured. Upon which the prisoner complaining of the grievous pain and the straitness of the irons, Bambridge answered, "That he did it on purpose to torture him;" on which the prisoner replying "That by the law of England no man ought to be tortured"; Bambridge declared, "That he would do it first and answer for it afterwards;" and caused him to be dragged away to the dungeon, where he lay without a bed, loaded with irons so close-rivetted that they kept him in continued torture, and mortified his legs. After long application[11] his irons were changed, and a surgeon directed to dress his legs, but his lameness is not, nor ever can be cured. He was kept in this miserable condition for three weeks, by which his sight is greatly prejudiced, and in danger of being lost.

[8] This picture is now in the National Portrait Gallery.

[9] Myrmidons--_i.e._, the band of soldiers whom Bambridge had procured under false pretences.

[10] A Portuguese prisoner for debt.

[11] _I.e._, after he had made many applications.

THE EXCISE BILL (1733).

+Source.+--Hervey's _Memoirs_. Vol. i., pp. 159-163, 175, 176.

But this flame[12] was no sooner extinguished in the nation than another was kindled, and one that was much more epidemical, and raged with much greater fury. Faction was never more busy on any occasion; terrors were never more industriously scattered, and clamour never more universally raised.

That which gave rise to these commotions was a project of Sir Robert Walpole's to ease the land-tax of one shilling in the pound, by turning the duty on tobacco and wine, then payable on importation, into inland duties; that is, changing the Customs on those two commodities into Excises; by which scheme, joined to the continuation of the salt-duty, he proposed to improve the public revenue £500,000 per annum, in order to supply the abatement of one shilling in the pound on land, which raises about that sum.

The landed men had long complained that they had ever since the Revolution borne the heat and burden of the day for the support of the Revolution Government; and as the great pressure of the last war had chiefly lain on them (the land having for many years been taxed to four shillings in the pound), they now began to say, that since the public tranquility both at home and abroad was firmly and universally established, if ease was not at this time thought of for them, it was a declaration from the Government that they were never to expect any; and that two shillings in the pound on land was the least that they or their posterity, in the most profound peace and fullest tranquility, were ever to hope to pay.