SCENE V. _The same. A street.

_Enter SPEED and LAUNCE severally._

_Speed._ Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Padua!

_Launce._ Forswear not thyself, sweet youth; for I am not welcome. I reckon this always--that a man is never undone till he be hanged; nor never welcome to a place till some certain shot be paid, and the hostess say 'Welcome!' 5

_Speed._ Come on, you madcap, I'll to the alehouse with you presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master part with Madam Julia?

_Launce._ Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted 10 very fairly in jest.

_Speed._ But shall she marry him?

_Launce._ No.

_Speed._ How, then? shall he marry her?

_Launce._ No, neither. 15

_Speed._ What, are they broken?

_Launce._ No, they are both as whole as a fish.

_Speed._ Why, then, how stands the matter with them?

_Launce._ Marry, thus; when it stands well with him, it stands well with her. 20

_Speed._ What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.

_Launce._ What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My staff understands me.

_Speed._ What thou sayest?

_Launce._ Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I'll but 25 lean, and my staff understands me.

_Speed._ It stands under thee, indeed.

_Launce._ Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.

_Speed._ But tell me true, will't be a match?

_Launce._ Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will; if he say, 30 no, it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.

_Speed._ The conclusion is, then, that it will.

_Launce._ Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.

_Speed._ 'Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how 35 sayest thou, that my master is become a notable lover?

_Launce._ I never knew him otherwise.

_Speed._ Than how?

_Launce._ A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.

_Speed._ Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistakest me. 40

_Launce._ Why fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.

_Speed._ I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.

_Launce._ Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse; if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name 45 of a Christian.

_Speed._ Why?

_Launce._ Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?

_Speed._ At thy service. [_Exeunt._ 50

Notes: II, 5.