Part 7

Asking for invitations for one’s visiting friends, while permissible on some occasions, such as requesting the favor of bringing a gentleman to a ball where dancing men are always at a premium, or an unexpected guest of your family to a reception or evening party, should never be resorted to when a dinner party is in question, for, to gratify the request would, in all probability, throw the whole of a carefully arranged table into disorder. This rule is only to be broken when the guest to be included is some really celebrated character whose addition to the company would compensate for the extra covers to be laid and the re-arrangements to be made before the unexpected guest can be accommodated. No one, however, should feel offense when a request of this nature is refused. The hostess, in all probability, had good and sufficient reasons for her course of action. Invitations for a married couple should never be requested.

Evening Parties, Balls and “At Homes.”

Invitations to these entertainments are issued in the name of the hostess only, and are sent out from ten days to two weeks in advance. Informal occasions, however, give very short notice, and it is well to use the word “informal” in the invitation, that guests may not put themselves to inconvenience as regards dress. It must be remembered that this term is too often misleading in its nature, and many a sensitive guest has been seriously annoyed by finding herself, after a too literal interpretation of the “informal” character of the entertainment, in a crowd of gay butterflies, a misuse of the word that should be seriously protested against.

Invitations to evening parties and private balls are less elaborate than formerly; the word “party” or “ball” is never used unless on the occasion of some public affair, such as a charity ball, but any especial feature of the evening may be mentioned in the invitation.

To an evening party where dancing may, or may not, be a feature of the entertainment, the following, either engraved or written on a small sheet of note paper, is a very good form:

All invitations are to be considered as “formal” unless the word “informal” appears on the card. If the card states that the entertainment is to be “informal,” the invited guest is fully justified in considering it so, and dressing accordingly. Neither host, hostess, nor other guests can take any exception if the invitation is treated just as it reads.

If dancing is the feature of the evening, the same form may be used with the word “Dancing” added in the lower left hand corner. Or:

If the ball is at a public place, as at Delmonico’s, in New York, the following form is appropriate, always making use, in case of so public an entertainment, of the host’s name in connection with that of the hostess:

Another form that would be equally appropriate is as follows:

If any of these occasions are intended to introduce a _débutante_, her card may be enclosed. If they are given in honor of a friend, or some celebrated individual, the following form is appropriate:

Or, if very formal, the name of the guest may be given first, as: To meet the CHIEF JUSTICE OF THE UNITED STATES and MRS. FULLER. MRS. HAROLD COURTRIGHT, At Home, from eight to eleven o’clock, Thursday, February seventh. _R. S. V. P._

This same precedence may be given to the name of an honored guest in a dinner or other invitation. Still another form is where the name of the guest is written on a separate card, thus: To meet MRS. SUMMERVILLE. Enclose this in the same envelope.

For a club party the following may be used: THE LA SALLE CLUB requests the pleasure of your attendance Wednesday evening, June eight, at nine o’clock. 555 West 51st Street. _R. S. V. P._

A still more simple form for a party invitation is an “At Home” card filled out thus: MRS. DON CARLOS PORTER, At Home, Tuesday evening, March fourth. 1021 Broadway. Cotillion at ten. _R. S. V. P._

Masquerades.

The entire invitation for a masquerade may be engraved, or it may be written, with the exception of the word “Masquerade,” which should be engraved on the card. For example:

Musicales, Soirées and Matinées.

Invitations to a Musicale are simply written on “At Home” cards, thus:

Or: MRS. P. V. VANVECHTON, At Home, Tuesday afternoon, April second, from half-past three to five o’clock. _Matinee Musicale._

If the Musicale is to be an evening affair, and dancing is to follow the music, the following form of invitation may be used: MRS. HERBERT HUGHES, At Home, Friday evening, January tenth, at eight o’clock. 200 Winchester Avenue. Music. Dancing at ten.

Precisely the same form is to be used in giving out invitations for a _soirée_, save that the word “_soirée_” is substituted for that of “_Musicale_” or “_matinée musicale_.” It may be farther added that the term “_matinée_” applies exclusively to entertainments given in the morning, or at any time before dinner, a distinction to which our custom of late dinners gives a wide latitude, so that any entertainment up to eight o’clock in the evening may receive the name of _matinée_, notwithstanding the fact that drawn curtains and gas-lighted rooms may give all the semblance of night-time. “_Soiree_,” however, is used only where an evening party of a semi-informal character is denoted.

Garden Parties.

Precisely the same form of “At Home” cards can be used for these entertainments, substituting the words “Garden Party” in the left hand corner and sending them out some two or three days in advance. Or, if a more formal affair is intended, use the following: MRS. WAITE TALCOTT requests the pleasure of the company of MR. and MRS. JOHN CLAY, on Monday, August fifth, at four o’clock. Garden Party. “The Oaks.”

If it should be desirable to include the entire family in the invitation, the wording would be as follows:

This clause to be added only when the party is to be given at some distance from the station. If preferred, these directions may be written on a separate small card and enclosed in the same envelope.

In this country we are not so accustomed to giving garden parties as people are in England, but a garden party may easily be made one of the most inviting and enjoyable of any.

Breakfasts, Luncheons and Suppers.

Breakfast invitations may be engraved or written upon a lady’s visiting card, thus:

A written invitation is usually in the first person, and should read somewhat as follow:

DEAR MRS. GRACIE:

I should be pleased to have the company of you and your husband at breakfast with us, Wednesday morning at ten o’clock.

Cordially yours, MRS. GEORGE HORTON. GERTRUDE HORTON.

The invitations should be sent out a week or five days in advance, and should be answered at once.

Luncheons, in this country, are very apt to possess much of the formality of a dinner, and are written or engraved, according to the degree of stateliness that is to mark the occasion. Very formal invitations are sent out ten days or two weeks in advance, and are couched in precisely the same terms as a dinner invitation, save that the word “Luncheon” is substituted for “Dinner.” Written invitations, also, follow the same plan as those written for dinners, and are not usually issued more than a week or five days in advance. Some ladies use their visiting card, thus: MRS. FRANK E. WENTWORTH. Luncheon, Wednesday, at one o’clock.

A later hour, say two o’clock, is usually adopted for a more formal affair. Replies should be sent at once that the hostess may be enabled to make up her table.

Teas and “Kettledrums.”

Teas and “Kettledrums,” High Tea and Afternoon Receptions, have come to bear a strong resemblance one to another, in fact to infringe so much upon the same territory that it is very difficult at times to distinguish between them sufficiently to apply the appropriate name. A simple affair is announced thus by those ladies who have a regular reception day: MRS. JOHN ST. JOHN. Thursdays. Tea at five o’clock. 40 West 49th Street.

Or: MRS. JOHN ST. JOHN. Five o’clock tea. Thursday, February fifth. 40 West 49th Street.

The words “kettledrum” or “afternoon tea” are not to be used, and these cards may be sent by mail, enclosed in a single envelope. They require no answer. Where the lady has not a regular reception day and wishes to give an afternoon tea, an engraved card, like the following, is usually sent out: MRS. ARTHUR MERRILL. MISS MERRILL. Monday, February third, from four to seven o’clock. 274 Chestnut Street.

In case of the hostess having no one to receive with her, her name would appear alone upon the card. The name of any friend may take the place of a daughter’s. Such an entertainment partakes more of the nature of an afternoon reception, or high tea. It may be adapted also to other occasions, such as the introduction to one’s friends of a guest who is to make a prolonged stay, as for instance: MRS. ARTHUR MERRILL, At Home, Monday, December seventh, from one until seven o’clock. To meet MRS. FRANCES ELMER. 55 Vine Street.

Invitations like this and the one just above are to be enclosed in two envelopes, same as for dinners and sent out ten days or two weeks in advance.

Kaffee Klatsch.

This furnishes very much the same class of entertainment that is to be found at an afternoon tea, save that coffee is the predominating beverage. The invitation is precisely the same as for teas, simply substituting the words “Kaffee Klatsch.”

Suppers.

For the evening supper, invitations are issued in some one of the forms presented for dinner parties, substituting the word “Supper.” Answers should be returned at once.

Coming-out Parties.

These special festivities may take almost any form, so that the presentation of the blushing _débutante_ may be at a dinner, ball, reception, evening party or afternoon tea; which latter custom has become very frequent of late. So much is this the case that it is somewhat to be reprehended as rendering afternoon teas too ceremonious in character. There is this in its favor, however; it relieves young girls from the strain incident upon a large party or ball. In some cases, the invitations preserve their usual form (whatever that may be) and the card of the _débutante_ is enclosed in the same envelope. Even this distinction is sometimes wanting. Again, in the case of “At Homes” and “Teas,” the name of the young lady is engraved beneath that of her mother; if it is the eldest daughter, the form would be: MRS. ARTHUR HOLT. MISS HOLT.

A younger daughter, under the same circumstances, would pose as: MISS EDITH MAY HOLT.

Such cards do not need a reply, but the guest will remember to leave cards in the hall for the _débutante_ as well as her mother or _chaperon_. It may be said here that, should it for any reason occur that the young lady is “brought out” under the wing of some friend instead of under her mother’s care, the relative position their names will occupy on the cards is precisely the same, as: MRS. D. G. HAVILAND. MISS HOLT.

A more formal presentation would be in the style of an engraved note sheet:

This invitation, of course, implies a large evening party, reception or ball, and should be sent out ten days or two weeks in advance of the event.

Receptions.

Informal receptions and full-dress occasions of the same kind are announced somewhat differently. In the first case the affair partakes so closely of the nature of an afternoon tea that the same form of invitation is used: MRS. HOWARD POST, At Home, Tuesday, October second, from four to seven.

If a series of receptions are planned the form would be: MRS. HOWARD POST, At Home, Tuesdays in November, from four to six o’clock.

Full-dress receptions are frequently given both afternoon and evening, sometimes in the evening only. Invitations to these should be engraved on square cards or note sheets, and sent out two weeks previous to the reception day. A very good form is:

If a daughter or a friend is to assist in receiving, the invitation should include her name also: MRS. JEROME HASTINGS, MISS HASTINGS, At Home, Thursday, November twelfth, from five until ten o’clock. 711 DuPage Street.

When the reception is given by a gentleman, and its object is to enable his friends to meet some distinguished guest, the following form is used: MR. HOWARD POST requests the pleasure of the company of MR. ALONZO METCALF to meet GENERAL E. L. BATES. Union League Club. 100 Cedar Street. _R. S. V. P._

Though some prefer placing the name of the honored guest first, according to the form given under dinner invitations. The answer should be:

Mr. Alonzo Metcalf accepts with pleasure Mr. Howard Post’s kind invitation to meet General E. L. Bates.

Weddings.

Wedding invitations are issued two weeks in advance, sometimes earlier to friends at a distance, in order that they may lay their plans accordingly. They are engraved in fine script on small sheets of cream note, and the form most used for church weddings is as follows:

Still another form would give the daughter’s name as “Miss Guendolen Earle.”

There may or may not be a monogram on the sheet of paper, but, if used there, one to correspond must be placed on the inner envelope also. The envelope, however, may be stamped with a monogram and the paper left plain, this latter style being much in favor. Where the wedding is in church, it is usually followed by an after-reception, cards for which are engraved in some similar form to the following: Reception from one until three o’clock, 107 Washington Street. Or: At Home after the ceremony. 107 Washington Street.

A still more ceremonious invitation to the reception may be issued in the parents’ name, and in the usual form of similar invitations, as: MR. and MRS. RICHARD EARLE request the pleasure of your company at the wedding reception of their daughter, GUENDOLEN, and MR. EGBERT RAY CRANSTON, Tuesday evening, June eighteenth, 1895, from nine to eleven o’clock. 107 Washington Street.

If there is reason to believe that the church will be crowded with uninvited guests, admission cards are engraved as follows: Christ Church. Please present this card to the usher. Tuesday, June eighteenth.

How Invitations are Sent.

Several of these cards are usually enclosed for distribution to friends of the invited and for the use of servants that have accompanied guests to the church. This custom is hardly necessary in country towns. All of the cards and the invitation are enclosed in one envelope superscribed with the name only of the person invited, and re-inclosed in another envelope bearing the full address. All formal invitations are to be enclosed in the two envelopes as above; less stately affairs requiring but one envelope; send by mail.

In England, wedding invitations are issued in the name of the mother of the bride only; here custom sanctions the use of the father’s name as well. If the invitation is issued in the name of some other relative, then the word “granddaughter,” “niece,” etc., should be substituted for that of “daughter.” If the future home of the young couple is decided upon, “At Home” cards also should be enclosed for all the invited guests that the bride desires to retain upon her visiting list. The following form is appropriate: MR. and MRS. EGBERT RAY CRANSTON, At Home, Thursdays in September, from four until six o’clock. 48 Washington Street.

Or, in place of designating especial days, it may read: MR. and MRS. EGBERT RAY CRANSTON, At Home, after September first. 48 Washington Street.

Where the list of acquaintances is very large it sometimes happens that a portion of the guests are invited to the church only. When this is the case the reception card is omitted from the envelope; but if a visiting acquaintance is to be maintained, “At Home” cards must be enclosed.

Wedding Invitations.

The home wedding is, perhaps, less stately in appearance, but, involving as it does, less care on the part of friends and less nervous strain on that of the bride, is frequently adopted. The invitations are precisely the same as for a church wedding, merely inserting street and number in place of designating the church, omitting, of course, the card of admittance and that for reception. The “At Home” card of the newly-married couple should always be enclosed lest doubt as to their new address prove perplexing to their friends.

Sometimes, where life is to be commenced in their own home, the wedded pair, soon after their establishment therein, send out “At Home” cards for a few evenings after this style: MR. and MRS. EGBERT RAY CRANSTON, At Home, Tuesday evenings in September, from eight to eleven o’clock. 48 Washington Street.

Gatherings such as these partake of the nature of semi-formal receptions and present a delightful opportunity for welcoming friends to the new home, and at the same time arranging a visiting list for the season, no one receiving a card to these entertainments that is not to be honored with a place thereon. These invitations are to be sent out after the return from the bridal tour, and, when thus used, the first-given “At Home” card is omitted in sending out the wedding invitation.

If the wedding is to be a morning affair from the church, followed by a breakfast, the first given invitation is issued and the following engraved card enclosed in the same envelope: MR. and MRS. RICHARD EARLE request the pleasure of your company at breakfast, Tuesday, June twentieth, at half past twelve o’clock. 107 Washington Street.

“At Home” cards and cards to the church should be enclosed as before. The time should be carefully arranged so that not more than half an hour is allowed to elapse between the ceremony at the church and the reception or breakfast at the house.

A home wedding with a breakfast simply sends out the ordinary wedding invitation, indicating the hour and giving the street and number.

Sometimes, at a home wedding, it is desired that no one but relatives or very particular friends should be present at the ceremony. Under these circumstances the usual invitations are issued. Then, for the favored few, ceremony cards are enclosed, on which the words are engraved: Ceremony at half past eight.

“At Home” cards may be enclosed as before.

Where the wedding has been entirely private, the mother, or some other relative of the bride, frequently gives a reception upon the return home of the young couple, invitations to which are issued as follows: MRS. RICHARD EARLE, MRS. EGBERT RAY CRANSTON. At Home, Wednesday, September first, from four to ten o’clock. 107 Washington Street.

For an evening reception the form is a little different: MR. and MRS. RICHARD EARLE request the pleasure of your company, Thursday, September second, from nine to eleven o’clock. 107 Washington Street. Enclosing the card of Mr. and Mrs. Egbert Ray Cranston.

Announcement Cards.

Announcement cards, where the wedding has been strictly private, are sent out after the following style: MR. and MRS. RICHARD EARLE announce the marriage of their daughter, GUENDOLEN, to MR. EGBERT RAY CRANSTON, Tuesday, November nineteenth, 1895. 107 Washington Street.

The before-given “At Home” cards maybe enclosed, or the necessary information conveyed by having engraved in the lower left hand corner of the sheet of note paper: At Home, after December first, at 48 Washington Street.

Another form of announcement is also used: EGBERT RAY CRANSTON. GUENDOLEN EARLE. Married, Tuesday, November nineteenth, 1895. Binghamton. With this form use “At Home” cards, or engrave the street and number in the lower left hand corner of the announcement card. This form is permissible in any case, but is more frequently employed where there are neither parents nor relatives to send out the announcement.

If the wedding should have taken place during a season of family mourning or misfortune, the bridegroom himself issues the following announcement: MR. and MRS. EGBERT RAY CRANSTON, 48 Washington Street.

These cards are large and square, and in the same envelope with them is enclosed a smaller card engraved with the maiden name of the bride: MISS GUENDOLEN EARLE.

Wedding Anniversaries.