Part 23

Bachelors who live in apartments are giving “Dutch” parties on roofs, and in those cases the refreshments consist of beer and ale served from the wood, rye bread and cheese sandwiches, sausages cooked in a chafing-dish and Rhine wine in the cup.

Roof parties can be so elaborate that they will cost quite as much as a more pretentious function, but they are more enjoyable when they are simply gotten up. One was given in a fashionable part of the city, and the aid of the caterer and the decorator had been utilized in such a manner as to produce the effect of a gorgeous _al fresco_ reception. A gaily striped awning was stretched across the part of the roof where the edibles were spread upon a table loaded with flowers. A carpet was spread for a dance at one side with only the stars for a canopy. About the entire roof and reaching far up in a pyramid of light there were lanterns lit by electric lamps fastened within. There was a pleasant breeze blowing, and these many swaying colored lights produced a beautiful effect. Rich rugs carpeted the roof surface, and flags were draped about the high coping.

This party was given on the roof of a large hotel and was such a success that a number of similar ones were arranged for.

A Flower Party.

Another young girls’ entertainment is a “flower party”—an appropriate name, as the writer once attended one where all the young ladies wore snowy gowns, each beautifully adorned with the wearer’s favorite flower. A large silver salver filled with sprigs of flowers awaited the young men in the reception-hall, and upon his entrance each selected according to his fancy a flower from the waiter and sent it up the decorated staircase to find its mate and the young lady wearing the matching one met him on the landing, pinned his chosen flower to the lapel of his coat and became his partner for the evening.

Bicycle Teas.

With the bicycle comes the bicycle tea. In the large cities these teas have been given for charity and have been great successes. But there is no reason why any girl may not give an attractive bicycle tea and make it very original. Sandwiches in the shape of tennis rackets, with an olive steak in the center for a ball, are among the novelties. Sandwiches in the shape of a wheel and a saddle might easily be cut. Bicycle lanterns, which resemble glowworms, should furnish decoration. If possible, a bicycle tea should be given out of doors, where outing costumes would not be incongruous.

A Barn Party.

There is a big, red barn on a fine old farm, that is easily reached by city friends, and there, every year, is given an autumn revel in the shape of a genuine “barn dance.” The mow is filled with sweet smelling hay and the cattle, stalled, are below. The big center floor is cleared and swept and reswept and chalked to make it fit for dancing feet. The decorations for the dance consume much time, and into them the hostess throws many a loving thought. Pumpkins form the chief theme. In flower-like or hideous forms as jack-o’-lanterns they hold posts of honor on rafter and beam.

The lanterns used are the regular farm lanterns, though the walk through the old-fashioned garden to the barn is outlined by the fancy Japanese lanterns. Ears of corn tied by fluttering ribbons, the husks turned back to show the golden ears, cornstalks, golden-rod, milkweed, woodbine and clusters of purple grapes are all worked into the decorations.

The young folks learn by previous experiences not to wear perishable finery at the barn dance, and the girls all come in pretty wash-dresses that will stand a good romp. Music is furnished by an old darkey fiddler, not violinist, who plays “Money Musk,” “Fisher’s Hornpipe,” “Ole Dan Tucker” and any number of plantation melodies.

The supper, of course, is the best part of the dance to hungry city-bred people. Hot coffee is served in bright new tin-cups, for these young people mimic harvesters; there is fried chicken, cold ham, potato salad, rolls with golden country butter that melts in one’s mouth, plenty of fresh milk, pumpkin and apple pie, with cottage cheese, ginger cakes and doughnuts, and even cider for those who wish.

The dance is always given during the full harvest moon and the stone wall which bounds the orchard, the old farm wagons, the grain bins and even the low apple trees furnish flirtation nooks for lovers. One year the barn dance was also a potato roast. Huge fires were built on the lawn, and during the intermission the crowd gathered around the fires and roasted potatoes. This time, too, the dance was made a house party, and the girls were stowed away in the farmhouse while the boys enjoyed tents and the big haymow. Is it any wonder that the pretty hostess’ friends call her barn dance the big event of the year?

Bachelor Women and their Entertainments.

The bachelor women in their cosy little city apartments, or even their one apartment, refuse to be debarred from the pleasure and privilege of giving the little entertainments so dear to the heart feminine. They not only give the most charming little “teas” and “coffees,” but they are past masters in the use of the chafing dish and those who have feasted with them will no longer deem that liveried service and stately rooms are necessary to the proper receiving of one’s friends.

After all, “the highest hospitality is in giving what one has.” Hawthorne and his wife never forgot the little American studying art in Rome, who, in her tower room, reached by many flights of stairs, made tea before their eyes, and took from a cupboard the cake and crackers that made her feast. Neither will the world forget her, since she it was, who, in the “Marble Faun,” is the Hilda who fed the doves from the tower.

A Sandwich Spread.

A sandwich spread is another entertainment easily given by a “bachelor maid.” This is a meal at which everything, barring the tea and coffee, is served in the form of a sandwich. Not until one has tried does one realize to what excellence and variety this form of viand lends itself. Deviled ham sandwiches, egg sandwiches, cheese sandwiches, lettuce sandwiches, potted ham, potted fish, potted cheese sandwiches, pineapple sandwiches, peanut sandwiches, cucumber sandwiches, tomato sandwiches, walnut sandwiches, oyster sandwiches and so on indefinitely. Any modern cookbook will furnish the formulas for all these and more.

“He or she,” says one writer, “who partakes, forgets the presence of the folding bed and gas stove; of the curtained china cupboard in friendly proximity to the writing desk or easel. There is no paint on the artist’s fingers, and the newspaper woman wears as pretty a gown as any woman could wish.”

Private Theatricals.

The etiquette of invitations is the same for Private Theatricals, as for musicales. Simply substituting the word, “Theatricals,” “Charades,” or “Tableaux,” whichever it is to be, in the left hand corner of the card. The same observances as to arranging the seats, toilettes of the guests, etc., are requisite, and performers should be equally careful not to fail at the last moment in taking their part. In reality they should be more so, since the failure of one performer might ruin the entire play.

A drama entails more expense and care than characters and tableaux. A host or hostess should never take leading part unless it be especially urged upon them by the others, and even then it is not best, first, because the entertainers should never eclipse their guests, and, second, they should be free for a general oversight of the whole affair, ready to settle disputed points and find missing stage “properties.” An effort should be made to assign, as nearly as possible, acceptable and suitable parts to all.

Those invited should display willingness to take parts assigned them, even if not the most important in the cast. All cannot be Romeos or Juliets. There are minor parts to play on all stages. Learn the part given you thoroughly, and do your best to make the play a success. If sickness or unavoidable accident intervene, inform the hostess at once that she may be able to supply a substitute for the part.

Guests indulge in conversation between the acts, and the music of an orchestra often fills the pause.

A carpenter is usually called in to build the temporary stage, or a curtain is fitted to rise and fall in the archway between two parlors; the first parlor being used for the audience room and the second one for stage, with dressing-room in the rear. A private billiard-room, also, can be used to good advantage. At the conclusion of the play, supper is served, and social conversation and dancing follow.

A Social Evening.

There are many ways of making pleasant entertainments out of these informal gatherings. Such an evening may last from nine to twelve o’clock. Where impromptu dancing is resorted to, as it so often is, another hour is sometimes added. If dancing be excluded, games, music, cards, or recitations should take its place. If neither card-playing, nor dancing is permitted, the supper usually becomes the feature of the evening.

When friends are invited to pass an evening socially with cards and music, refreshments are always served. They can be placed upon the dining-room table, and the company invited to partake of them. They should consist of sandwiches or cold meats and rolls, and cakes and coffee or chocolate, or only cakes, ices and lemonade can be served. The best dishes the china closet affords should be used.

Or, the supper can be made an elaborate “sit-down” banquet. If the long table is not sufficient for all, the guests can be served in relays. The table should be prettily decorated. There are different forms of home parties, such as birthday celebrations, where gifts and toasts are in order, house-warmings, or a church party.

When the supper is served in relays the hostess had better wait until the last table, and circulate about among those guests who have not yet been served. Some appointed lady can serve as hostess at each table. The elder guests should be seated at the first. Sometimes small tables are scattered about the rooms to accommodate those who cannot find place at the large table, thus all are served at once.

Where neither card-playing nor dancing are indulged in, it becomes necessary to find some other amusement. Impromptu charades are sure to break the ice. A shadow party also, where any amount of sport can be had with a darkened room and a tightly stretched sheet illuminated from the rear, whereon shadows can be cast for guessing. There are also a great many interesting games of which enough can be furnished for an entire company.

Authors’ Parties

Are also amusing entertainments, but they must be arranged for beforehand. It is usual to take the works of one author and give out the characters to be represented to each one, that repetitions may be prevented. Then the guessing that will follow when the company are all together, and the conversation that naturally ensues on literary subjects, ensures the success of the party.

Firelight Parties

Are pleasurable affairs. There is no light furnished except by an open fire. The guests sit around in a circle and tell stories. Each one is provided with a bunch of twigs, or fagot to be thrown on the fire, the guest being expected to sing a song, tell a story, give a recitation, or otherwise amuse the company while his fagot burns.

Conversaziones.

These gatherings, as the name signifies, are devoted entirely to conversation, and are supposed to be chiefly gatherings of literary and scientific people. Where one especially fine conversationalist is the star of the evening, one or two lesser lights should be invited to share with him the honors of the occasion.

A Country Dinner.

A summer dinner in the country has many pleasant features peculiar to itself. Chief among these is its lack of formality, and city guests are always pleasurably entertained at the country dinner table. A good cook and a competent waitress are necessities.

The flowers that ornament the table must partake of the field and forest rather than suggest the city hothouse. Slender, light, glass vases and rose-bowls are best for the light grasses, field flowers and garden blossoms. Pretty, modern, inexpensive china is sufficient for a country dinner, and not too much silverware should be used.

Light, clear soups should form the first course (mock turtle or ox-tail soup is not in order). The roast should be carved away from the table. Plenty of fresh vegetables should be prepared, that being one of the privileges of country life. Delightfully fresh salads are also at command of the suburban householder; and if the dining-room be cool and large, and therewith the grace be given of a beautiful view, what greater gift can the gods grant!

Let the housekeeper forbear to serve hot puddings or heavy pastries. Fruit tarts, the freshest of fruits with great glass pitchers of country cream, cold custards, gelatine creams of all kinds and ice cream are always satisfactory; and many substitute for the heavy roast the lighter dishes of broiled fish, chicken, or chops. A cold boiled ham on the sideboard adds another dish to the board.

Etiquette of Card Playing and Games.

There is a certain etiquette to be observed in playing all social games. In card-playing especially this is a necessity. In the first place, it is the hostess who proposes the game. In the second, no one who refuses should be urged to join in the amusement. They may have conscientious scruples, and respect should be shown their principles. Unless, however, this be the reason, no one should refuse to play from mere caprice when their presence is required to make up a table.

New packs of cards should be provided by the hostess. Playing for money, even the smallest amount, should be strictly avoided. It is unfit for the home parlor.

Those who do not understand playing should not join a set unless especially urged, as their ignorance is apt to spoil the pleasure of the others. The fingers should not be wet to deal the cards. Partners should never exchange signs. Let every one play his best and not act indifferent to the game.

Do not talk on all manner of topics; it disturbs those who enjoy the game.

Do not criticise, nor hurry other players.

Never lose temper over a game.

To cheat is extremely ill-bred.

If you have a poor partner manifest no annoyance.

Never reflect upon the playing of your opponents.

Those who have played together so much that they understand one another’s play should not be partners in general company.

Never manifest anger at defeat, nor undue exultation at winning.

These rules, many of them, apply to all other social games, both outdoors and in.

Outdoor Amusements.

Coaching parties are delightful. They give much latitude for gay, pretty costumes, and there are few brighter pictures than that of a tally-ho coach as it dashes along the city boulevards and over the country roads to the music of jingling chains and winding horns.

Appetites are sharpened by the long drive, and hampers must be well packed with substantial viands. Potted meats, all manner of sandwiches, game pies, cold birds, and substantial beef and tongue, will be sure of appreciation.

(See “Dress,” etc., for suitable attire.)

Hunting Parties.

Hunting is very little favored by ladies on this side the water, though it is occasionally indulged in by a few. The enthusiasm, however, of a ride to hounds is much dampened by the knowledge that an anise-seed bag, instead of a fox, furnishes the scent over which the hounds give eager tongue. Those who attempt to hunt must be at home in the saddle.

(See “Dress,” etc., for appropriate attire.)

Archery, Lawn Tennis and Croquet.

These popular games have their own etiquette, rules, dress, etc., so thoroughly established that all devotees of these sports understand the routine without giving it place here.

Never dispute, or show any temper over the outcome of any game.

Boating and Yachting.

Many ladies are quite expert with the oars, and boating, when not overdone, is a healthful and pleasant amusement. When gentlemen are with a party of ladies, one of them should step in the boat to steady it, while another “assists” the ladies in. See that their dress is so arranged that they will not get wet. Inexperienced rowers should learn before joining a party.

The stroke oar is the seat of honor. It may be offered to a guest. Ladies should wear short dresses, free from encumbering draperies, heavy shoes, and a hat with a broad brim. Heavy gloves, if they intend rowing, should be worn.

Yachting is a delightful and rather dangerous amusement. Ladies wear warm wool dresses that water will not injure, made short in the skirt, and jaunty of cut, with sailor-like emblems for adornment. No young lady should go out alone with a gentleman either yachting or rowing. In yachting especially a boat is sometimes becalmed for hours and even all night. A party composed entirely of young people should have a chaperon.

Children’s Parties.

The celebration of children’s birthdays and other little anniversaries by means of parties, is a pleasant custom and one worthy of observance. Such red-letter days are long remembered by the little ones.

The invitations are issued in the children’s own names, and may be written or engraved. Usually they are written upon small note sheets and enclosed in small envelopes. If the invitation is for a Christmas-tree, or an Easter-egg hunt, a tiny tree, or a colored egg, may ornament one corner of the sheet.

The form varies hardly at all: Miss GERTRUDE HALL requests the pleasure of Miss CLARA WINSHIP’S company, on Wednesday, June twentieth. From three until five o’clock. 3 Madison Avenue.

These invitations should be carefully and promptly answered in the same form as given and in the third person. (See “Invitations,” etc.)

This teaches the little host or hostess the gravity of their position as entertainers, and impresses the little guests with the importance of their behavior. Also giving them an early lesson in the etiquette of social life.

If it is a birthday party, a birthday cake will be the chief feature, and it is a pretty fancy to have it decorated with as many tiny wax candles as there are years in the child’s life in whose honor the party is given. These tapers may be placed around the cake, or put in tin tubes and sunk into the top of the cake. Light them just before the little guests are called out to the table.

At the close of the supper the child whose birthday it is, blows out the candles, and, if old enough, cuts the cake and passes it.

Presents are sometimes brought by the guests, but it is not best to encourage this fashion.

Dancing or games may follow the supper, and older persons should constantly superintend the amusements to see that the merriment does not flag, nor the little folks become too boisterous.

At an Easter party, dainty little egg-shaped boxes, filled with bon-bons, may be placed at each plate, or else hidden in a room from which the lighter articles of furniture have been removed, and the children permitted to search for them. The hunt is the chief pleasure.

If it is a Christmas party the tree is the source of interest, and often a make-believe Santa Claus adds to the merriment of the occasion. The refreshments should be simple but fanciful. Make the table bright as possible—snowballs, cornucopias, lady-fingers, assorted cakes, love-knots, sandwiches (fancy), crystalized fruits, tarts, sliced tongue, pressed veal, thin bread and butter, rolled and tied, ice cream in molds, and one large heavily-frosted cake. A host of flowers, and the table is complete. Lemonade for a drink, or perhaps hot chocolate.

The good breeding learned, the opportunities of impressing upon children the beauty of self-denial and politeness, and of teaching them to dispense, and to receive hospitalities, and to restrain that tendency toward favoring certain playmates, so strong in childhood, will more than repay for the trouble of preparing the feast. Never permit the party to extend to late hours, and never overdress the little folks. White is always suitable for girls, and jacket suits for boys under the age for long trousers.

Christenings Confirmations and Graduations

Announcement Cards are frequently sent out to all friends immediately upon the arrival of a little heir or heiress. These cards are variously worded. One seen by the writer was as follows:

ARRIVED: In Los Gatos, Sunday morning, November third, eighteen hundred and ninety-five, FLORENCE WESCOTT. Weight, ten pounds; blue eyes and sound lungs. She sends greeting to all her friends.

A simpler one would be: GREETING: EDITH MAY TOUCEY, November 1, 1895. Weight, 9½ pounds.

These cards received (or even if they are omitted), the lady friends and acquaintances call and leave cards with kind inquires or send them by a servant. Gentlemen do not call, but they are expected to see the happy father and inquire after mother and child.

When the mother is ready to receive friends she sends out cards to all that have called “with thanks for kind inquiries,” written beneath her name, or issues invitations for a candle or christening party.

The Christening.

The baptism or christening is performed according to the rites of whatever church the parents may be members of. If the ceremony is performed in church, personal fancy has very little play, though it is almost a law that flowers shall cluster about the place where little ones are brought for dedication.

If the occasion is to be further celebrated by festivities at the house they may take whatever form is most agreeable. When the christening is held at the house and guests are invited, it is customary to defer the ceremony until the mother is ready to take the part of hostess; usually until the child is a month or six weeks old.

Invitations are issued for an afternoon or early evening reception. They may be written or engraved, and are issued in the name of both parents, thus: MR. and MRS. JAMES GRAY request the pleasure of your presence at the Christening of their son at half-past four o’clock, Wednesday, May tenth. 12 Madison Avenue.

Or: MR. and MRS. JOHN THURSTON request the honor of MR. and MRS. BROWN’S presence at the Christening of their daughter on Thursday, May 11th, at three o’clock. Reception from two to five, 150 Delaware Place. Sometimes the words, “No presents expected,” are added to the invitation.

Attendance at the Ceremony.

These invitations are promptly answered, and those who attend should wear a reception dress. The solemnity of the occasion should be recognized by the appearance, previous to the hour named, of all who expect to be present. Those who cannot be in time to witness the ceremony should defer their arrival until a sufficient time has elapsed to allow of its completion.

A temporary font is placed in a central position. This is best arranged by banking up the top of a small round table with mosses, smilax and delicate ferns, while the top, outside the rim of the bowl holding the china basin containing the water, is a mass of white flowers.

The drawing-room may be decorated with blossoms, and vocal or instrumental music is usually provided. Hired musicians are sometimes engaged. See that the selections are suitable to the sacred character of the occasion. Friends are sometimes asked to give two or three vocal selections.

At the appointed time the father and mother stand before the clergyman at the font and receive their child from the nurse or some friend; the godparents range themselves on either side, and the clergyman proceeds with the service. If the parents are able, the clergyman is usually given a handsome fee on these occasions.