Chapter 23

CALAF, TRUFFALDINO.

TRUFFALDINO.

(_Comes creeping in cautiously from right, creeps under the divan._)

Well, thank God! he's gone to sleep at last. 'Sh! 'Sh! (_In the front of the stage before the footlights._) As my poor old mother used to say, "A good name is worth a fortune." What a good name this idiot of a Prince must have, considering how my gracious Princess is throwing all her money away on him! Skirina's got some, Zelima's got some, Brigella's got some. I've got some, and I'm going to get two purses extra if I get this young hopeful's name. And I shall get it! You watch me. I'm going to! (_With much ceremony he pulls a big turnip, wrapped in a strip of paper, out of his dress._) Here I have the famous magic root mandragora. The Universal Doctor and Great Herbalist Pimpernel, Market Square, second door to the right, let me have it for a tanner. Warranted, of course. Warranted to go two years. Printed instructions for use attached. (_Unwraps the turnip, reads:_) "The root mandragora opens all doors, bursts all locks, raises hidden treasure, confers riches and wisdom...." (_Looks up._) Aha! just what I want. (_Reads on:_) "It has influence over the constellations and the planets, makes the blind to see and the deaf to hear, is a protection against the evil eye, heals all maladies of the mind, depression in men and melancholy in women...." (_Looks up._) Aha! Depression, quite so. Melancholy, quite so. (_Reads on:_) "It confers the gift of second sight, reveals hidden secrets...." (_Looks up._) Ah! now we have it. Hidden secrets.... "Let it be placed under the pillow of the person, whether male or female, whose secret it is desired to know, when the said person is asleep. Then the person aforesaid..." Hurrah! (_jumps for joy_) "will, by dreaming aloud, communicate what it is desired to know." Did you hear that? Isn't that the very thing? (_Creeps up to_ CALAF'S _bed, and, with excessive caution, places the turnip under his pillow_.) 'Sh! 'Sh!

(_Draws back a little, and waits, in the greatest excitement, for what is going to happen._ CALAF _does not utter a sound_. _With a disappointed face_ TRUFFALDINO _creeps nearer the bed again_. CALAF _remains dumb_.)

Do say something, my dear boy! Do say something, please! (_Waits a little._) Out with the name, my sweet little lambkin.

(_With transfigured face_ CALAF _whispers terms of endearment_.)

What's he saying now? Tu... Tu... Turandot. Oh, bother! I know that name already, the name of my adored Princess. It's _your_ name I want to know, my darling boy.

(CALAF _goes on whispering excitedly_. _He smiles in his happy dream, and raises himself on his elbow during the following without opening his eyes_.)

Tu... nothing but Turandot! Well, then, here I am, duckie. Here I am, lovey, here I am--my own very self, your own little lovey duckie Turandot. (_Purses up his lips._ CALAF _smiles as though in rapture_.) What wouldst thou have of me, my sweetest heart? Eh? Well, what? Something like this? (_Smacks his lips._) Well, then, you _shall_ have it, and more besides. But first of all, darling, you must tell me your name, your own delightful, sweet little name, my honey!...

(CALAF _sinks back and lies dumb again, sulkily_.)

Oh, you won't, won't you? You really won't? How nasty of you, my love! Just look at me. See how pretty I am! (_Trips coquettishly up and down in front of the bed._) Look at my lovely white arms and my lovely plump legs, and my glorious hair hanging all down my back! ...Just look at it, my sweet little chick!

(CALAF _begins to whisper excitedly, raising himself the while_.)

That's right, that's right, quite so: talk, talk, my bonny babe! (_Bends down again, till his mouth almost touches the sleeper's._) Once again, my sweet one! Say it once again, my little white lambkin! It shall have its kiss, it shall, right away.

(CALAF _turns suddenly and violently round on the other side, and deals him a ringing box on the ear_. (_Squeaking noisily_, TRUFFALDINO _runs away_. CALAF _sits up for a moment in astonishment, opens his eyes, shuts them again immediately, and sinks back on his couch_.)