Chapter 2

This Story sufficiently shews the unnatural Intrigues of some Masculine Females, where by the falling down and largeness of the _Clitoris_, they have been taken for Men, as mention'd in my Description of Hermaphrodites, and are capable of every Action belonging to a Man, but that of Ejaculation. I next insert an Intrigue between two Females more extraordinary than the former, by reason in this, Art was only employ'd, and in the other there was something of Nature in it, tho' viciously apply'd: I shall introduce it with several Adventures which happen'd in this Cafe before the Scene was accomplish'd, and which I doubt not will be acceptable. In the City of _Ferara_, 'tis reported, there some time since liv'd two Damsels who were of reputable Descent, and their Education was equal to that of the greatest Quality in the Territories of _Italy_; the Name of one of them was _Theodora_, and of the other _Amaryllis_: _Theodora_ was the Daughter of an eminent Courtier, and in her Person most beautiful; her Shape was form'd according to the nicest Rules of Symetry; her Waste was slender, her Breasts were full and round, and for Whiteness equall'd the falling Snow; her Face was exactly compos'd, the Features strong and yet beautiful; her Cheeks more lively than the Rose and Lilly; her Eyes sparkled beyond the most shining Planets; her Teeth excell'd the best polish'd Ivory; soft as Velvet were her Lips, and redder than Vermillion; her Hand and Arm more white than Milk; her Feet small, and her Gate stately, and on her Shoulders were display'd her auborn Tresses, hanging in Ringlets to her Waste; in short, every Part that was visible invited to hidden Charms; her Looks were languishing, and her Eye-Balls large, which, perpetually rowling, cast a thousand Darts at all Beholders. _Amaryllis_ the Daughter of a wealthy Merchant and no less admir'd for her Beauty than the lovely _Theodora_; she was made up of Perfections, and whomsoever she saw unguarded, she was sure to captivate: These two Ladies were both of them cross'd in their amorous Inclinations; _Theodora_, before she was thirteen Years of Age, had made a powerful Conquest over the Affections of a Youth of Gallantry, his Name was _Leander_, and he was the eldest Son of a Nobleman of _Naples_; but _Theodora_'s Father having no regard to the Happiness of his Daughter, after _Leander_ had made his Addresses, he forbad him his House, not approving the Circumstances or the Character of the young Gentleman; for the Father of _Theodora_ was a mercenary Courtier, having no regard to any but such as were in their Nature Misers and sanctified Hypocrites, and _Leander_ being a Gentleman inclin'd to Extravagancy. _Leander_ setting a greater value upon his Education, Manners and good Nature than his Fortune, was oblig'd to desist in his Pretensions and to sink under the oppression of Avarice: He determin'd to leave _Ferara_, since he was there to see his Happiness, no more, however, he resolv'd to send his Fair One, a moving _Billet Doux_ before his Departure, which he did, and it was as follows.

To the _GODDESS_ of _Ferara_, the Beautiful _THEODORA_.

_Divine Creature,

It is not to be admir'd that I, the meanest of your Servants, should be rejected by your wealthy Parents, and that Heaven should deny me a Happiness which it self only ought to enjoy; Why did Nature make you so Beautiful and Deserving, and me so unworthy of your Affection? My misery increases with your Happiness, unless you participate my Pains; you are in the Bud of your Beauty, which when full blown, will be like the Sun in the midst of the Horizon, Illuminating the whole World, but its penetrating Rays not to be gaz'd upon. You are the Lilly and I am the Thorn; you beautify the rich fertile Vale, whilst I retire to the barren Mountains. I will pass the Alps 'till I approach the most aspiring Mount, and there, in view of_ Ferara, _I will lay me down and bid the World Adieu. When I am gone, remember that you had once a Lover who could sacrifice every thing for our Service, and without you he could enjoy nothing. I have not only concerted my Journey from_ Ferara, _but likewise to the_ Elysian Groves; _if my grizly Ghost should terrify that sordid Wretch your Father, 'tis no more than he deserves, and if my Shade appears to you, look on that unconcern'd which cannot injure you. My last Request to you is to take care of your self, who am_

Your despairing Lover,

But Admirer,

LEANDER

_Theodora_ receiv'd this moving Letter with a Concern proportion'd to the melancholly Occasion; she communicated it to an intimate Acquaintance, who likewise express'd the utmost Uneasiness; the thoughts of the Catastrophe of the Loves of _Theodora_ and _Leander_ presented a lively Idea to _Theodora's_ Companion, of the Miseries and Misfortunes attending Mankind. "Hard is the Case (says she) that _Leander_, one of the finest young Gentlemen of _Naples_, should be sacrific'd to a mercenary Wretch, a Wretch, that in the midst of plenty is poor and miserable, and who, tho' he has all Things to compleat his Happiness, his avaricious Temper will not permit him to enjoy the common Necessaries of Life: The Pleasures of living he's a Stranger to, he lives despis'd, and will die unpitied: But such is the inequality of Fortune's Favours, that Merit must stoop and Ideots be advanc'd to the highest Pomp and Magnificence. It is entirely out of your Power to give the pitied _Leander_ the least Relief; your Father's House is a Nunnery, he has his Locks and Keys to secure you, and his Spies for Intelligence; but I advise you to send the unfortunate Youth an Answer to his mournful Epistle." Upon this, _Theodora_ immediately call'd for Pen, Ink and Paper, and wrote the following Answer.

To the unfortunate LEANDER.

_I am sorry that you had the Misfortune ever to see me, and the more for that in vain I seek your Relief; it is not in my Power to forward either your Happiness or my own, which I confess I should think compleat, if my mercenary Father would consent to my Espousals; but it is so far from this, that I am to see for the future, so that the Lilly you admire now droops its Head, and the whole Vale's enclouded at my sorrowful Fate; I would willingly accompany the Briar to the Mountains. Impute not to me your approaching Calamities, which only increase with _Theodora'_s. Think me no longer handsome, who have so many Imperfections to sully those Trifles you call Beauties; No, range me with Deformity, since other Ideas may increase your Pain. I desire you to forget me, of I am oblig'd to endeavour not to remember you._

Your most disconsolate

Lover,

THEODORA.

Upon receipt of this Letter, _Leander_ quitted _Ferara_ with a Grief inexpressible, but however had Resolution to finish his Journey to the Place of his Nativity without self Violence, but soon after, resign'd a miserable life.

I come now to the Story of _Amaryllis_. _Amaryllis_ was formerly deeply in Love with a Gentleman of _France_, (she being originally of that Kingdom) whose Name was _Sempronius_; his Person was stately and very well proportion'd; his Face was ruddy and inclining to be large; his Eyes full and lively, with Eye-Brows and Beard pretty thick; of a dark brown Colour; and his Skin was clear, his Shoulders were strong and well set, and Limbs rather large than small, but exactly shap'd: He was perfectly good natur'd, complaisant in his Behaviour, and gallant in his Amours, his Dress was easy and genteel, his Approaches sprightly, and his Conversation the most endearing. _Amaryllis_ was extremly fond of _Sempronius_ and _Sempronius_ was fond of _Amaryllis_, without each other they were equally unhappy; repeated Visits introduc'd each coming Day, and innocent Embraces crown'd the Night: Love and Liberty were their constant Themes, and nothing was wanting but the Marriage Ceremony to compleat their Felicity; but it so fell out, that after a Day was appointed for celebrating their Nuptials, that a young Gentleman of _Spain_ call'd _Richardo_, envying the Happiness of _Sempronius_, made several Attempts to disconcert his Measures; and one Night, taking with him an Officer of Justice, whom he brib'd to his Interest, he repair'd to the House of _Amaryllis_; and knocking with great Violence, _Amaryllis_ was very much alarm'd; but she sent down her Servant to enquire into the Occasion of this uncommon Approach. The Servant no sooner open'd the Door, but _Richardo_ and the Officer of Justice enter'd the House, (beating down the Servant) and immediately ascended the Stairs in pursuit of _Sempronius_; during this Bustle, _Amaryllis_ suspecting a Design against _Sempronius_, (_Richardo_ having formerly offer'd his Service to her, and Revenge being the common Consequence of a Disappointment with a _Spaniard_) lock'd him into a private Closet, which was no sooner done, but _Richardo_ enter'd the Room with his Sword drawn, _Amaryllis_ having but just Time to secure her Lover. _Richardo_ demanded of _Amaryllis_ the gay _Sempronius_ as a Criminal, telling her he had committed a Rape on the Body of the virtuous _Maria_ a Lady celebrated for Beauty, and to whom all _Italy_ could not produce an Equal, the Officer ran about the Room, crying, "Justice, Justice, where is the Villain _Sempronius."_ They search'd the Room very diligently, and not finding _Sempronius_ at last _Richardo_ address'd himself to _Amaryllis_ in these Words: "Madam, I hope you have more Virtue and Honour than to shelter a Criminal, especially where one of your most beautiful Sex is concern'd, and the greatest Innocence has been violated: If you allow your House to to be a Sanctuary for Offenders of this Nature, Justice will require Satisfaction at your Door; you may your self expect the same Injury to your Person, and I am now prepar'd to shew a Resentment that will not be pleasing to _Amaryllis_, either comply with my Desires in producing the Criminal, or expect to fall my Victim." This Speech very much confounded _Amaryllis_; the Designs of _Richardo_ she could not easily penetrate, whether against her self or _Sempronius_ the Plot was laid, or whether it extended to both, she could not determine: But at last she summon'd her Courage and her Reason, and with a look of Indignation peculiar to her Sex, she answer'd thus the malicious and designing _Richardo_: "What Crimes _Sempronius_ has been guilty of, is to me a Secret, but that _Richardo_ deserves the Character now given of _Sempronius_ is very obvious, and needs no Difficulty for me to affirm; your brutal Inclinations are not easily satisfied: When you made your Addresses to me, your Designs were base and dishonourable; you more than once attempted with force to violate my Chastity, and for ought I know you are now come upon the same Errand: What could make you approach me in this hostile manner, but to Ravish _Amaryllis_, or to Murder _Sempronius_, under a pretence of Justice? But let the Event be what it will, I'll not deliver up him who is dearer to me than Life, but dare a Villain to his worst." This heroick Speech made by _Amaryllis_ dash'd _Richardo_ for the present; but he being resolv'd to prosecute his Intentions (which indeed were both to Murder _Sempronius_ and ravish _Amaryllis_, as she had guess'd) he advanc'd nearer to _Amaryllis_, and took her in his Arms, upon which she cry'd out with violence, whereupon _Sempronius_, who had heard every thing that had pass'd, open'd the Closet Door, and sallying out Sword in Hand to defend himself and his Mistress, _Richardo_ rush'd from _Amaryllis_ and attack'd _Sempronius_; they fought sometime without any seeming Advantage on either Side, 'til at length the Officer belonging to _Richardo_ knock'd down _Sempronius_ and _Richardo_ ran him to the Heart, _Amaryllis_, through the Negligence of the Officer, had an opportunity of escaping to a neighbouring House, where, he acquainted the Inhabitants with the dismal Tragedy; upon this Warrants were issu'd from the next Magistrates for Apprehension of _Richard_, but took Post for _Germany_, where secur'd himsef: in a famous Monastery. In great despair and confusion _Amaryllis_ left the Kingdom of France and travell'd into _Italy_, to to forget this barbarous Treatment of her unfortunate Lover. At first she propos'd to retire to some Country Village, and spend the remainder of her Life in Sighs and Groans, and complaining Sonnets; for this purpose she compos'd the following Lines.

SONG.

I.

_Since gay_ SEMPRONIUS _now is gone, What Comfort yields my Life? I shall Unhappy be alone, My Breast is fill'd with Strife._

II.

_The Sun is set e'er Noon arrived, Sad Glooms around me spread, No flowing Joys the Lad surviv'd, He's now rang'd with the Dead._

III.

SEMPRONIUS _Dear, where are ye stole? Could I but find thee strait, I'd cut the Thread of Life my Soul On thy bless'd Shade would wait._

IV.

_If to th' infernal Regions, Woe,_ SEMPRONIUS _is confin'd; His Ghost I'll trace, persue below To ease my tortur'd Mind._

V.

_I still in vain, alas! prepare In vain I strive to sleep; My Breast is fill'd with deadly Care I'll lay me down and weep._

VI.

_All worldly Joys I bid adieu, All Pleasures I forsake; SEMPRONIUS still I'll sleep with you; I'll with the Touth awake._

_Amaryllis_ did not long continue her Resolution of going into the Country, fearing an invincible Despair would ensue; and upon advising with a Bosom Friend, she was disuaded from it: Her Intimate thought it might be a Diversion to her Melancholly to repair to some popular City, where a variety of Conversation and airy Entertainments, might, if possible, eraze the Memory of her deceas'd Lover. Accordingly _Amaryllis_ immediately set out for _Ferara_, where she had been but an inconsiderable Time, before she accidentally fell into the Company of _Theodora_, whose Disappointment, already related, was little inferior to hers, and both repeating their Stories, they found so near a Resemblance in their Misfortunes, that they resolv'd to live together as Sisters or inseperable Companions, and to use their utmost Artifices for the Relief of each other. I have been led into this seeming Romance, to shew particularly the fatal Disappointments attending these two beautiful Females, which were very extraordinary, especially those of the Latter; and to shew, in a particular manner, how these two Ladies first became acquainted, as an Introduction to what follows. I come now to their Female Intrigues, which were no less uncommon than their Misfortunes.

_Theodora_ and _Amaryllis_ liv'd together some Time, and at last by the constant perusal of airy Books, and a few entertaining Companions, they had in some, measure forgot their unfortunate Lovers, but they resolv'd never for the future to fix their Affections upon any Man living; and living in Luxury, in the prime of their Years, in a hot inciting Climate, they at length were naturally inclin'd to the most abominable Pollution: They provided artificial _Penis's_ of the largest Dimensions, and with Ribbons they fasten'd the Root of the Instrument, in the same Situation as Nature has plac'd the Substance in Man; they frequently embrac'd one another by turns, as Man and woman in the amorous Adventure; and when their Vigour was so much abated, that they were no longer able to struggle, the Female uppermost withdrew, and taking another Instrument in her Hand, she us'd it on her Companion with an Injection of Moisture, which, with the rubbing, occasion'd such a tickling, as to force a discharge of Matter and facilitate the Pleasure. This was their daily Practice for a considerable space, 'till at last a Confident of _Theodora_'s who was sometimes admitted as variety in these Brutal Enjoyments, for a large Sum of Money reveal'd their Intrigues to _Philetus_, a Youth of a very comly Person, but a little Effeminate, who passionately admir'd the beautiful _Theodora_, and who had made several Attempts on her in vain.

_Philetus_ being let into the Secret of _Theodora_'s Intrigues, by the Assistance of the Confident, resolv'd to personate a Lady of the first Figure at _Rome:_ In order to this, he furnish'd himself with a very rich and costly Female Habit, and by the Use of Paint, which alter'd his Eye-Brows, Cheeks, Hair, &c. and shaving every Day, he was sufficiently disguis'd; all Things being now concerted with _Theodora's_ Confident, _Philetus_ was admitted to wait upon _Theodora_ and _Amaryllis_, with a feign'd Message from a Lady of their Acquaintance at _Rome_, and was entertain'd with the utmost Respect and Grandeur, with occasion'd frequent Visits between _Philetus_ and _Theodora_, and at length there was such an Intimacy contracted, by the Management of _Philetus_ and the Confident, that _Philetus_ was permitted to be present in their Frolicks, and at last offering his Service to _Theodora_; she with a great deal of difficulty accepted his Embraces having not the least suspicion of the Design; so that _Philetus_ taking the artificial _Penis_ in his Hand, went to the Window from the Ladies, and pulling up his Petticoats, pretended he had fix'd it round his Waste, and putting the Instrument in a Furbelow of his Gown, he advanc'd to the Bed where _Theodora_ was laid in an airy Manner to receive him; the Sight of the beautiful _Theodora_, in this captivating Posture, caus'd an immediate Erection with _Philetus_, and fill'd his Breast with amorous Fire; he approach'd his Charmer with a Lover's' vigour, and _Theodora_ was still a Stranger to the Intrigue, 'till the moment of Ejaculation, which was not usual with the same Instrument in her Embraces with _Amaryllis_: When this happen'd she was prodigiously surpriz'd, and endeavouring to disengage her self from _Philetus_, he folded her more closely in his Arms; and in the greatest Transport told her, he was her constant Admirer _Philetus_: She upbraided him for this perfidious Method of bringing about his Designs; however, upon his telling her, That her strict way of Living made an uncommon Stratagem absolutely necessary, that he hop'd she would excuse what Love had prompted him to, and that notwithstanding what had past, his Designs were honourable; _Theodora_ considering, what had happen'd, and experiencing a material Difference between Art and Nature, agreed, on his humble Request, to Marry him; and a Priest was immediately sent for, who solemniz'd their Nuptials. When the Ceremony was over, _Theodora_ sung this Stanza.

_The Shadow I'll no longer try Or use the pleasing Toy A sprightly Youth I can't defy, The Substance I'll enjoy._

After these Adventures were over, _Amaryllis_ likewise submitted to Matrimony with a Gentleman of _Ferara_; and they both enjoy'd the greatest Happiness, making no difficulty to forget all Sorrows past. The next Intrigues I shall mention, are of two famous Hermaphrodites, who were more vigorous than common in their Parts, at _Urbino_. It is not many Years ago (as the Story relates) that there liv'd at _Urbino_ two Hermaphrodites, famous for their Intrigues, and indeed they were arriv'd to that consummate pitch of Impudence, that they were not asham'd to own their Bestiality, they not only frolick'd with each other, but with both Sexes in general; their Names were _Diana_ and _Isabella_, both of reputable Birth, and well Educated. _Diana_ on a Time being invited to the Nuptials of a certain Nobleman of _Urbino_, accompanied him to the House of a noted Clergyman, some distance from the Residence of _Diana_, to be a Witness to the solemnization of the Marriage, and being arriv'd there, every thing was instantly provided for the Ceremony; the Bride was attir'd in the richest Brocade Silks, with the finest Linnen that could be purchas'd; her Neck and Breasts were exposed very low, and heav'd with Desire, filling the Bridegroom with amorous Imaginations, her Hair was adorn'd with the most beautiful and odorous Flowers, which surrounded her heavenly Face, and made it appear like a Rose in its bloom, in a delightful Garden, just ready to be gathered. The Bridegroom was dress'd in Cloth of Gold, and Linnen of _Flanders_ lac'd; on his Head was a flaxen Peruke reaching to his Waste of very great Value, and by his Side a Sword, whose Hilt was set with Diamonds.

The Parson by this time being ready to perform his Office, the Bride and Bridegroom, and _Diana_ were usher'd into a great Hall, hung round with Scripture Paintings, particularly of our Saviour, illustrating his whole Life from his Birth, and being laid in the Manger to the Time of his Crucifixion. When the Service was over, and the wedded Couple had join'd their Hands and Hearts, a splendid Entertainment was provided by the Parson to refresh them after the Fatigue of their Journey, which continuing 'till it was late in the Evening, the Bride and Bridegroom, and _Diana_ had not time for their Return to _Urbino_, whereupon the Parson, in good Manners, first took Notice of it, and withal offer'd them the Use of his House, which they accepted, considering it would at least be hazardous, if not impossible to reach _Urbino_ that Night.

The Bride and Bridegroom, and all the Company, were as merry as was possible, and after Supper, Directions were given by the Parson for preparing the Beds; but before the usual Time of retiring to Rest, his Brother coming accidentally from _Bonona_, there arose some Difficulty with the Parson in the disposal of his Guests, he having no more Beds than two at liberty: At last they agreed that _Diana_ should lye with the Parson's Wife, who was a very handsom Woman, and the Parson and his Brother were to pig together, whereby there would be a Bed at the Service of the Bride and Bridegroom. Several Bottles of _Champaign_ and _Burgundy_, and of fine _Italian_ Wines being drank, the Bride and Bridegroom were put to Bed with a great deal of Solemnity; afterwards _Diana_ and the Parson's Wife were lighted to their Apartment, and he and his Brother repair'd to theirs.

_Diana_ observing the Parson's Wife to be a beautiful Woman, particularly as she undress'd her self, had a very strong Inclination for her usual Sportings; and in order to carry on an Intrigue with safety, she softly bolted the Chamber Door, which being done, they both went to Bed, the Parson's Wife putting out the Candle. They had not been long in Bed before _Diana_ began to kiss the Parson's Wife with Freedom, but she not suspecting any thing farther, and supposing it might proceed more from Wine than any thing else was pretty easy, 'till at last _Diana_ threw her self upon her, and began an Adventure, very displeasing, which surpriz'd her to that degree, that she cried out vehemently.

The Family, which had not been long at rest, alarm'd at this unseasonable Noise, arose; the Parson came to his Wife's Chamber Door, and finding it bolted within, he call'd to her to know the occasion of this Disturbance; she answer'd, "That she had a Man or a Monster in Bed with her, one that was then violating her Person." The Parson supposing this to be a Design to Cuckold him, order'd his Servants to break open the Chamber Door, which being instantly effected, he rescu'd his Wife from the Power of _Diana_. After this he seiz'd _Diana_, and upon Examination, finding her to be an Hermaphrodite, having the Members of both Sexes, he order'd his Servants to carry her to the Garret, and tye her hands and Legs together, and then to put her into the Bed of the Maid-Servant. This being done, the Parson went to Bed again, as did likewise his Wife, and the Family was at rest the whole Night; and the Noise, though it was great, did not disturb the Bride and Bridegroom after their Enjoyments of Wine and Love.