Part 2

"The Scolarians are at war with a group from another galaxy, the Philosters," said Kelly. "These star-beings are people like us engaged in a great struggle with the Philosterian forces. But there isn't any stupidity on our side. The Scolarians are all fine people, generous, loving, determined. They respect one another; they never let you down. The women of Scolaris that we call Ideals, once they fall for a man, Scolarian or earth-like, are forever faithful and one hundred per cent in love with you. To me the whole race is perfect good fighting the perfect evil of the Philosterians. I want to join that fight, Al. Only here on the Stardust Overdrive do the true whites and blacks of good and evil exist."

"But you hated Valda back on earth," I pointed out. "Back in the Thousand Lights that night."

"Yes. I hated her because she could be perfect and I knew I couldn't be--I hated my own imperfection. I'm learning. I'm going to stay here and learn to be a Scolarian. In other words, reach perfection of an integrated, happy body and mind, engaged in a worthwhile struggle, dedicated to the forces of good forever."

I leaned back seeing how much we were brothers, feeling how good it was to be on Scolaris. There was a knock on the door and a dark-haired woman came in.

"This is Sandy," said Valda, smiling at me.

I felt better than ever because I had met my Ideal.

* * * * *

"There's one human agony worse than all," said Radwick. We were in the Thousand Lights dining-bar back in New York. "It is to conceive an ideal and then continually fall short of it. That's why the company loses men out in space. On Scolaris a human can be his ideal. It ruins him for earth. His body may be in New York, but his being is out on the Stardust Overdrive, fighting the good fight, living for ideals, experiencing total commitment."

I didn't pay much attention. I already knew what he meant. All of my life I had yearned for things greater than life. An ideal job, an ideal wife, an ideal struggle to fight and win. It wasn't on earth. It was out on the Drive. Kelly, Radwick and I were fools on earth, cut off from the sensible ones, hating the imperfections. The people for their part rightly hated those ideal men and women of Scolaris.

I watched Sandy coming across the room. The earth people drew back in hate. On earth I felt some of that hate, but I couldn't escape her. She had a body that was delectable--because I had created the thought of it for her to wear. Her face was the face of my dreams because I had dreamed it so. She looked a little like me as an ideal always must. But the red lips, the cream skin, the silken hips and trim ankles, the glorious spun gloss of her dark hair and penetrating beauty of gray-green eyes--these were less than the total appeal.

She wanted me no matter whether or not I wanted her. The ideal love--realizing that she couldn't possibly escape me, no matter how harshly I mistreated her. No matter what I did, she only smiled and came back for more. She followed me like a dog, worried about me, crept into my bed at night to warm my body, left me alone when I wanted to be alone.

She stood at the table. She was my ideal. But you have to test and retest an ideal. That's why, half in anger half in fear, I stood up and struck her across the face, watching the imprint of my hand in red on the smooth, young cheek. She had the look they all have of patience, of humor, of some exasperation.

"Temper, temper," she said, sitting down with a grin. A near-spaceman at the bar gave her the ogle and the wink and she frosted him with a look. No need to worry about losing her.

But Radwick was smiling a curious smile. He was piling up tiny white sugar cubes on the table. "Ah," he said, "Nothing is greater." Then he leaned over to me and said, "Observe the girl with her back to us over there. The Ideal. The one with the brown hair."

Sandy frowned. "Why would he be interested in another Ideal? Naturally they all come here, as it is one of the few places they are made welcome in your cold, non-idealistic city."

I looked at the Ideal. There was some hint of familiarity in the lines of her profile and the way she smiled at the far-spaceman who was with her.

"She could be Valda," I said. "But they all look much alike."

"She is Valda," said Radwick.

"No," said Sandy, flushing.

"You ask Sandy, Al. She's your ideal and cannot lie to you."

"What about it, Sandy?"

Sandy dropped her wonderful eyes. "Yes," she said. "Valda is somebody else's ideal now, looking a little different."

"But what about Kelly?" I cried. "I thought an Ideal never changed--"

"Kelly was fighting a war out on Scolaris," said Radwick.

"Kelly--dead?"

"You forgot the war," said Radwick. "The fight against the Philosterians that Kelly pledged himself to. Apparently he fought and died for the eternal good."

"But why should she live and go on?" I said in shock. I gripped Sandy's arm until she winced.

"An ideal can't die," said Sandy. "When we are killed it is only the person who worshipped us."

Kelly--dead out on the Stardust Overdrive--among the red and blue times and the ringing ideal bells! It was a little too far off and rich, even for me.

"I was thinking of going back to Scolaris myself," I said bitterly. "And maybe fighting."

"You would fight," said Radwick. "You would die. An ideal must always kill an imperfect man who cannot reach it. Sometimes it is Kelly or the millions of Kellys physically dead in war. Sometimes it is only a part of a man that an ideal kills."

Sandy jumped up so fast that she knocked over a water glass.

"Please, Al, please--"

But it was too late. I saw her glorious hair fade into a dull, ordinary mass. Her arms thickened, her breasts got smaller. Her body shifted under the dress with realistic imperfections. Her skin coarsened. She was still attractive now, but no more so than a thousand other women in New York.

* * * * *

I stood up but she had already made the motion to withdraw. "I will manage," she said. "We will say goodbye now. Your perspective has changed and I can no longer stand you."

I said nothing, being too full of new thoughts and feelings. She walked away towards the bar. As she approached she caught the attention of a near spaceman and seemed to improve at once. Seemed to regain some of her lost beauty.

"You see how unsatisfactory the Ideals are," said Radwick.

"And yours--"

Radwick gestured at the sugar cubes that were damp now with the water Sandy had spilled.

"A far-spaceman did the same for me, Al," he said. On the table was a circle of sugar cubes which symbolized the ideal, like an "o". Radwick put his hand in the middle of it and turned his hand, pushing the cubes in distortion so they became a zero, or "0". He grinned up at me.

"Nothing is greater," he said, "and we must check in tomorrow for the Overdrive. It's time to go out again."

"I won't be going," I said. "I don't want any more of the Stardust Overdrive."

"Too bad. There is much to learn out there."

I laughed at him playing with his cubes. "Yeah, there's a lot to learn--but we've got it right here too, and a better word for it. Dreams."

He looked up at me quizzically. "Dreams?"

"That's right. You know--'the grass is always greener' stuff. When you get tired of facing reality you can sign on the Stardust Overdrive. Treat yourself to a thrill--the biggest in the cosmos. I've found the answer I was looking for, Radwick, the thing you haven't been able to find with all your mathematical cube symbols. Men stay on the Stardust Overdrive and _with_ an Ideal only because they choose a fantasy life to reality. They _think_ they have it better out there on Scolaris. Better? They fight and die just as they would on Earth. The rub comes in when you realize you're only being a sucker for another race--doing what the Scolarians want you to do so they don't have to do it all by themselves. You can have your ideals and deep space thrills. It's a cheap price for your life--just as it was for Kelly."

He kept staring at me and I saw it wasn't sinking in. So I gave him a mock salute. "Think it over, Radwick."

I turned away and he called after me.

"Where are you going?"

I looked back at him and grinned. "I'm going to call up my Ideal--the only one that's real."

I let him chew on that and went to the nearest tele to tell my wife I was home....