Part 5

[1] Office of St. Cæcilia. [2] Luke, ii, 14. [3] Wisdom, iv, I.

I HAD offered myself to the Child Jesus to be _His little plaything_. I had told Him not to use me like a costly toy which children are pleased to look at without daring to touch; but as He would a little ball of no value, that He might throw to the ground, toss about, pierce, leave in a corner, or else press to His Heart if so it pleased Him. In a word _I wanted to amuse the little Jesus, and to give myself up to all His childlike fancies._

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. VI

MY heart is entirely filled with the will of Jesus; therefore when anything over and above falls to its share, this does not penetrate to its depths; it is a mere nothing which easily glides by, as oil on the surface of limpid water. Ah! if my heart were not filled up beforehand, had it to be filled by the sentiments of joy or of sadness which so quickly succeed each other, bitter indeed would be this flood-tide of pain; but these rapid alternations do no more than ruffle the surface of my soul, and I remain ever in a profound peace that nothing can disturb.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. XII

I AM not always faithful, but I am never discouraged; I leave myself wholly in the arms of our Divine Lord; He teaches me to _draw profit from all--both good and ill that He finds in me_. [4] He teaches me to speculate in the Bank of Love, or rather it is He who acts for me without telling me how He goes to work, that is His affair and not mine; my part is complete surrender, reserving nothing to myself, not even the gratification of knowing how my credit stands with the Bank.

XVI LETTER TO HER SISTER CÉLINE

[4] St. John of the Cross.

A SISTER told Sœur Thérèse of the strange phenomena produced by magnetism on persons who really wish to yield up their will to the mesmerizer. These details appeared to interest her keenly and on the morrow she said to the Sister:

"Your conversation yesterday did me so much good. Oh! how I wish to be magnetized by our Lord. It was my first thought on awakening. With what delight have I delivered my will up to Him. Yes, I want Him to make Himself master of my faculties in such sort that my actions shall no longer be human or personal, but wholly divine, inspired and directed by the Spirit of Love."

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

YOU are quite wrong to think of sorrows that the future may bring; it is, as it were, intermeddling with Divine Providence. We who run in the way of Love must never torment ourselves about anything. If I did not suffer minute by minute, it would be impossible for me to be patient; but I see only the present moment, I forget the past and I take good care not to anticipate the future. If we grow disheartened, if sometimes we despair, it is because we have been dwelling on the past or the future.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. XII

I NO longer thirst for either suffering or death, yet both I dearly prize. Long did I call upon them as the harbingers of joy . . . Suffering has in very truth been mine, and I have thought I wellnigh touched the eternal shore! I have believed from my earliest youth that _the little flower_ would be gathered in its spring-time; now, it is the spirit of self-abandonment alone that guides me, no other compass have I. I know not now, how to ask anything eagerly, save the perfect accomplishment of God's designs upon my soul.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. VIII

"PRAY for me," she would often say, "when I implore Heaven to come to my aid, then it is that I feel most forsaken."

"And in this desolation how do you avoid discouragement?" they asked her.

"I turn to the good God, to all the Saints, and I thank them just the same. I think they wish to see to what point I shall carry my trust . . . But not in vain have these words of Job sunk into my heart: _'Though He should kill me yet will I trust in Him.'_ [5] I acknowledge it was long before I reached this degree of abandonment; our Lord has taken me and placed me there!"

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. XII

[5] Job, xiii, 15.

IT seems to me that nothing now hinders me from taking flight, for I no longer have any great desires, save to love, even unto dying of love. I am free, I have no fear, not even of what I most dreaded; I mean the fear of being a long time ill and consequently a burthen to the Community. If it gives pleasure to the good God I willingly consent to see my life of suffering, both of soul and body, prolonged for years. Oh! no, I do not fear a long life. I do not shun the combat. _"The Lord is the rock upon which I am founded. Who teacheth my hands to fight and my fingers to war; He is my protector in whom I have hoped."_ [6] Never have I asked God to let me die young; it is true I have ever believed that it would be so, but without seeking to obtain it.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. IX

[6] _Cf_. Ps., cxliii, 1, 2, 3.

WHATEVER the good God has given me has always pleased me, even the gifts which have appeared to me less good and less beautiful than those received by others.

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

I HAVE no greater desire to die than to live; if our Lord gave me the choice I would choose nothing; I only will what He wills; it is what He does that I love.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. XII

"SOME think you are afraid of death," they said to her.--"That may indeed yet happen; I never depend on my own thoughts, knowing how weak I am; but at present I will rejoice in the sentiments that the good God now gives me, there will be time enough to suffer from the contrary."

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. XII

A SISTER said to her:

"If anyone goes straight to Heaven, you surely will not spend one moment in Purgatory!"

"Oh! I feel little anxiety about that; I shall always be content with the sentence of the good God. If I go to Purgatory, well--I shall walk in the midst of the flames, like the three Hebrews in the furnace, singing the Canticle of Love."

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

GRATITUDE

OH, how happy God makes me! How easy and how sweet it is to serve Him upon earth.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. X

SEEING several of my companions form special attachments to some one or other of our mistresses, I wished to follow their example but could not succeed therein. O happy inability! from how great evils has it saved me . . . How I thank God for having made me find only bitterness in the friendships of earth. With a heart such as mine I should have been captured and had my wings clipped; then how should I have been able to _fly away and be at rest_. [1]

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. IV

[1] Ps., liv, 7.

I UNDERSTAND well that our Lord knew I was too weak to be exposed to temptation; without doubt I should have been wholly destroyed had I been dazzled by the deceitful glamour of the love of creatures; but never has it shone before my eyes. There, where strong souls find joy, and through fidelity detach themselves from it, I have found only affliction. Where then is my merit in not being given up to these fragile attachments, since it is only by a gracious effect of God's mercy that I was preserved from it? Without Him, I recognize that I might have fallen as low as St. Magdalene; and that word of deep meaning spoken by the Divine Master to Simon the Pharisee, re-echoes with great sweetness in my soul. Yes, I know it: _"To whom less is forgiven, he loveth less."_ [2] But I also know that Jesus has forgiven more to me than to St. Magdalene. Ah, how I wish I could express what I feel. Here at least is an example which will in some measure convey my thought.

Suppose the son of a skilful doctor is tripped by a stone in his path, which causes him to fall and fracture a limb. His father comes in haste, lifts him up lovingly and attends to his injuries, employing therein all the resources of his art; and the boy, very soon completely cured, testifies his gratitude. This child has certainly good reason to love so kind a father; but here is another supposition.

The father having learnt that there lies in his son's way a dangerous stone, sets out beforehand and removes it unseen by anyone. His son, the object of this tender forethought, unaware of the misfortune from which he has been preserved by the father's hand, will of course show no gratitude, and will love him less than if he had cured him of a grievous wound. But should he come to know all, will he not love him still more? Well--I am this child, the object of the preventing love of a Father _Who sent His Son not to redeem the just but sinners._ [3] He wills that I should love Him because He has forgiven me, not _much_, but _everything_. Without waiting for me to love Him much, like St. Mary Magdalene, He has made me to know how He had loved me with a preventing and ineffable love, in order that I may now love Him even unto folly!

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. IV

[2] Luke, vii, 47. [3] Luke, v, 32.

WALKING one day in the garden, leaning on one of her sisters, Thérèse paused to enjoy the fascinating sight of a little white hen sheltering its chickens beneath its wings. Very soon her eyes filled with tears, and turning to her dear companion she said: "I can stay no longer, let us go in again quickly. . ." And in her cell, her tears continued falling and she could not utter a word. At last, looking at her sister with an expression that was quite heavenly, she said:

"I was thinking of our Lord, and of the touching comparison He chose in order to make us believe in His tenderness. That is just what He has done for me all my life: _He has wholly hidden me beneath His wings!_ I cannot express what passed within my heart. Ah! the good God does well to veil Himself from my sight, to show me the effects of His Mercy rarely, and as it were, _'through the lattices;'_ [4] such consolations would, I feel, be more than I could bear."

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. XII

[4] Cant., ii, 9.

"OH! how _good_ is the good God!" . . . she would sometimes exclaim. "Yes, He must indeed be good to give me the strength to endure all that I suffer."

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. XII

ONE day she said to the Mother Prioress:

"I would like to speak to you, Mother, of the state of my soul; but I cannot, I am too deeply moved just now."

And in the evening she sent these lines pencilled with a trembling hand:

"O my God, how good Thou art to the little victim of Thy Merciful Love! Now even though Thou dost join physical suffering to the trials of my soul, I cannot say: _'The sorrows of death have encompassed me.'_ [5] But I cry out in my gratitude: _'I have gone down into the valley of the shadow of death, yet I fear no evil, because Thou, O Lord, art with me.'_" [6]

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. XII

[5] Ps., xvii, 5. [6] _Cf_. Ps., xxii, 4.

ZEAL

THE cry of Jesus agonizing, "I thirst!" re-echoed continually in my heart, firing it with an ardent zeal till then unknown to me. I longed to give to my Beloved to drink: I too felt myself consumed with the thirst for souls, and at all cost I would wrest sinners from the eternal flames.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. V

THE Precious Blood of Jesus I poured on souls, to Him I offered these same souls renewed by the Dew of Calvary; thus I thought to quench His Thirst; but the more I gave Him to drink, the more ardently my poor little soul thirsted--and this I received as a most precious recompense.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. V

LIKE the Prophets and the Doctors I would fain enlighten souls. Fain would I travel the earth, O my Well-Beloved, to preach Thy Name and to set up Thy glorious Cross in Pagan lands. But one mission only would not suffice for me; would that I could at one and the same time proclaim the Gospel all the world over, even to the remotest of its islands. I would desire to be a Missionary not only for a few years, but to have been one from the creation of the world, and so to continue to the end of time.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. XI

I LONG to accomplish the most heroic deeds. I feel within me the courage of a Crusader. I would die on the battlefield in defence of the Church.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. XI

OPEN, my Jesus, thy Book of Life wherein are recorded the actions of all the Saints; those actions--would that I too, had accomplished such for Thee!

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. XI

SOULS--dear Lord, we must have souls! Above all, souls of apostles and of martyrs, that through them we may inflame the multitude of poor sinners with love of Thee.

HIST. D'UNE AME, APPENDIX

AFTER recreation one day when the Mother Prioress had spoken of the persecution already raging against Religious Communities, Sœur Thérèse said to a novice: "Ah! Sister, we live in an era of martyrs! Blood will be shed.--What happiness if it should be ours!"

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

A NOVICE on her way to the laundry one day, went at a slow pace through the garden, looking at the flowers as she passed. Sœur Thérèse who followed walking quickly, soon overtook her and said: "Is that how one hastens who has children (_souls_) to support, for whose sustenance she is obliged to work? . . . "

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

DURING her illness she wrote:

"The will of the good God is my sole desire; and I declare that if in Heaven I could no longer work for His glory, I would choose exile rather than the Fatherland."

IV LETTER TO HER MISSIONARY "BROTHERS"

WHAT draws me towards the Heavenly Country is the call of our Lord, the hope of at last loving Him as I have so ardently desired, and the thought that I shall be able to make Him loved by _a multitude of souls_ who will bless Him eternally.

VIII LETTER TO HER MISSIONARY "BROTHERS"

CONFIDENTLY I count upon not remaining inactive in Heaven, my desire is to work still for the Church and for souls: this I ask of God, and I am certain that He will hear me. If I quit already the battlefield, it is not with the selfish desire of taking my rest. Suffering has long since become my heaven here below, and it is difficult to imagine how it will be possible for me to become acclimatized to a country where joy reigns, unmingled with sorrow. Jesus must needs transform my soul completely, else I could not support eternal bliss.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. XII

JUST now a few notes of distant music fell upon my ear, and set me thinking that very soon I shall hear melodies beyond compare; yet this thought can give me but a moment's gladness; one only expectation makes my heart throb: _it is the love that I shall receive and the love that I shall be able to give!_

_I feel that my mission is now to begin, my mission to make others love the good God as I love Him . . . to give to souls my little way_. I WILL SPEND MY HEAVEN IN DOING GOOD UPON EARTH. This is not impossible, since the Angels in the full enjoyment of the Beatific Vision keep watch over us. No, I shall never rest till the end of the world! But when the Angel shall have said: "Time is no more!" [1] then I shall rest--shall be able to rejoice, because the number of the elect will be complete.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. XII

[1] Apoc., x, 6.

SIMPLICITY

WHEN I read certain treatises where perfection is set forth as encompassed by a thousand obstacles, my poor little head grows weary very quickly. I close the learned book which puzzles my brains and dries up my heart, and in its stead I open the Holy Scriptures. Then all appears clear, luminous . . . one single word discloses to my soul infinite horizons, perfection seems easy. I see that it is sufficient to recognize our nothingness, and to leave oneself like a child, in the arms of the good God. Let great souls and sublime intellects enjoy the beautiful books which I cannot understand, still less put in practice; I rejoice in being little, since _"children only and those who resemble them will be admitted to the Heavenly banquet."_ [1]

It is well that the Kingdom of Heaven contains many mansions, for if there were none other than those of which the description and the way seem incomprehensible to me, I should never be able to enter therein.

VI LETTER TO HER MISSIONARY "BROTHERS"

[1] _Cf._ Matt., xix, 14.

MY patrons in Heaven and my chosen favourites are those who have stolen it--like the Holy Innocents and the Good Thief. The great Saints have earned it by their works; as for me, I will imitate the thieves, I will have it by ruse, a ruse of Love which will open its gates to me and to poor sinners. The Holy Ghost encourages me, saying in the Book of Proverbs: _"O little one, come, learn subtlety of me."_ [2]

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

[2] _Cf._ Prov., i, 4.

OUR Lord replied to the mother of the sons of Zebedee: _"To sit on My right and on My left hand is for them for whom it is prepared by My Father."_ [3] I imagine that those places of choice, refused to great Saints, to Martyrs, will be the portion of little children.

Did not David predict it when he said that _the little Benjamin will preside amidst the assemblies_ (of the saints)? [4]

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

[3] _Cf._ Matt., xx, 23. [4] _Cf._ Ps., lxvii, 29.

"IF you could begin your religious life over again" asked a novice, "what would you do?"

"It seems to me that I would do as I have done."

"You do not then feel like the hermit who used to say: 'Even though I had lived long years in penance yet I should fear damnation while there still remained to me one quarter of an hour, one breath of life.'

"No, I cannot share that fear, I am too little to be damned, little children are not damned."

"You always seek to be like the little ones--but tell us what we must do to possess the spirit of childhood? What does it exactly mean--to remain little?

"To remain little--it is to recognize our nothingness, to expect everything from the good God, not to be too much afflicted about our faults, for little children fall often but are too small to hurt themselves much: in fine, it is _not_ to make one's fortune, nor to be disquieted about anything. Even in the homes of the poor, as long as a child is quite little they give him what is needful; but when grown up, the father is no longer willing to support him and says: 'Now work! you can provide for yourself.' Well, it was to escape hearing that, that I have never wished to grow up, for I know myself incapable of earning my livelihood--Eternal Life!

"Again, to remain little is not to attribute to self the virtues we practise; but to acknowledge that the good God places this treasure in the hand of His little child to be made use of when required."

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

BE not afraid to tell Jesus that you love Him; even though it be without feeling, this is the way to oblige Him to help you, and carry you like a little child too feeble to walk.

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

IT is a great trial to see only the black side of things, but that does not depend completely upon you. Do your best to detach your heart from the cares of this world, and above all from creatures; then you may be sure that Jesus will do the rest. He could not suffer you to fall into the abyss. Be comforted, little one, in Heaven you will no longer see _all black but all white;_ yes, all will be clothed with the divine whiteness of our Spouse, the Lily of the Valley. Together we shall follow Him whithersoever He goeth . . . Oh! let us profit by the brief moments of this life to give pleasure to Jesus, let us win souls for Him by our sacrifices. Above all let us be little, so little that all the world may trample us under foot without even our appearing to feel it or to suffer from it.

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

YOU are wrong to find fault with one thing and another, and to seek that all should yield to your way of viewing things. We want to be like little children, and little children know not what is best, to them all seems well; let us imitate them. Besides there would be no merit [in obedience] were we only to do what would appear reasonable to us.

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

A NOVICE under a temptation which seemed to her insurmountable said: "This time I cannot rise above it--it is impossible." Thérèse replied: "Why do you try to rise above it? Pass beneath it quite simply. It is very well for great souls to soar high above the clouds when the storm is raging, but for us, we have merely to bear the showers with patience. If we do get rather wet--no matter! We shall dry ourselves afterwards in the sunshine of Love.

"That brings to mind this little trait of my childhood; a horse one day standing at the garden gate barred our entrance; those with me endeavoured by force of talking, etc., to get him to move back, but while they talked I very quietly slipped in, through the horse's legs . . . See how one may gain by remaining little!"

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

TO a young Sister discouraged at seeing her imperfections, Sœur Thérèse said: "You make me think of a very little child who is just able to stand upright but does not yet know how to walk. Intent upon reaching the top of the stairs so as to get back to his mother he lifts his foot to climb the first step. Fruitless endeavour! At each attempt he falls without advancing in the least. Well, be like that little child; by the practice of every virtue keep on ever lifting your little foot to climb the steps of sanctity, and do not imagine that you will be able to mount even the first! No; but good will is all God requires of you. From the top of those steps He is watching you with love; and won by your unavailing efforts He will Himself soon come down, and taking you in His arms will bear you away to His Kingdom, never more to quit Him. But if you cease to lift your little foot He will leave you a long time on earth."

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

THE only means of making rapid progress in the path of Love is to remain always very _little_; that is what I have done; so now I can sing with our Father St. John of the Cross:

And stooping so low, so low, I rose still higher and higher And thus I attained my end.

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

SOME one was speaking to her of the mortifications of the Saints, she replied:

"It is well our Lord has let us know that _there are many mansions in His Father's House, that if not He would have told us._ [5] Yes, if all souls called to perfection had been obliged to practise these macerations in order to enter Heaven, He would have said so, and gladly would we have undertaken them. But He tells us that _in His House there are many mansions_. If there are those for great souls, for the Fathers of the Desert and for martyrs of penance, there must be one also for little children. Our place is reserved there, if our love be great--for Him and for our Heavenly Father and the Spirit of Love."

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

[5] _Cf._ John, xiv, 2.

"I feel that my mission is now to begin," she said a few days before her death, "my mission to make others love the good God _as I love Him_, to give my little way to souls. . ."

"What is this 'little way' that you want to teach to souls?"

"_It is the path of spiritual childhood, it is the way of trust and of entire self-surrender_. I want to make known to them the simple means that have so perfectly succeeded for me, to tell them that there is but one only thing to do here below: _to cast down before Jesus the flowers of little sacrifices, to win Him by caresses!_ That is how I have won Him, and that is why I shall be so well received."

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. XII

IF I am misguiding you by my _little way_ of Love, she said to a novice, do not fear that I shall let you follow it very long. I shall appear to you, and tell you to take another path; but if I do not return, believe in the truth of my words: _never can we have too much confidence in the good God, so mighty and so merciful! As much as we hope for shall we obtain from Him!_ . . .

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. XII

A NOVICE said to her on the eve of the Feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel: "If you were to die to-morrow after Holy Communion, it seems to me that so beautiful a death would console me in the midst of my grief."

And Thérèse replied with animation: