Part 3

That is just our Lord's way. He gives as God, but He _will_ have humility of heart.

XVII LETTER TO HER SISTER CÉLINE

[12] John, xxi, 5. [13] Luke, v, 5.

TO think ourselves imperfect, and others perfect--that is happiness. That creatures should recognize we are without virtue takes nothing from us, makes us no poorer; it is they who by this lose interior joy; for there is nothing sweeter than to think well of our neighbour.

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

IT is a great joy to me, not only when others find me imperfect, but above all when I feel that so I am: compliments, on the contrary, cause me nothing but displeasure.

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

A NOVICE confided to her that she made no progress and felt quite discouraged.

"Till the age of fourteen," said Therese, "I practised virtue without feeling its sweetness. I wished for suffering but had no thought of finding my joy therein; that is a grace which has been granted me later. My soul was like a beautiful tree whose blossoms no sooner opened than they fell.

"Offer to the good God the sacrifice of never gathering the fruits of your labours. If He so will that during your whole life you feel a repugnance to suffer and to be humiliated, if He permit that all the flowers of your desires and of your good-will fall to earth without fruit, be not troubled. At the moment of your death He will know well how to bring to perfection, in the twinkling of an eye, beautiful fruits on the tree of your soul.

"We read in the Book of Ecclesiasticus: _'There is an inactive man that wanteth help, is very weak in ability, and full of poverty: yet the eye of God hath looked upon him for good, and hath lifted him up from his low estate, and hath exalted his head: and many have wondered at him and have glorified God._

_'Trust in God, and stay in thy place. For it is easy in the eyes of God, on a sudden to make the poor man rich. The blessing of God maketh haste to reward the just, and in a swift hour His blessing beareth fruit!'"_ [14]

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

[14] Ecclus., xi, 12, 13, 22, 23, 24.

"YOU have always been faithful to divine grace, have you not?"

"Yes, since the age of three I have refused nothing to the good God. Yet not mine the glory. See how the setting sun this evening gilds the topmost branches of the trees; even so does my soul appear to you--all bright and gilded, because it is exposed to Love's rays. If the Divine Sun withheld from me His rays, my soul would immediately become obscured and enveloped in darkness."

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

"YOU really are a saint!" some one said to her.

"No, I am not a saint; I have never done the works of the Saints. I am a very, very little soul on whom the good God has outpoured the abundance of His grace. You will see in Heaven that I am telling you the truth."

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

SHE said to the Prioress: "Mother, I feel that if I were unfaithful, if I committed but the very slightest infidelity, fearful troubles would follow, and I could no longer accept death with resignation."

And as the Mother Prioress showed surprise at hearing her speak thus, she continued:

"I mean an infidelity springing from pride. For instance, if I said: 'I have acquired such or such a virtue, I am able to practise it,' or, 'O my God, I love Thee too well--Thou knowest it--to dwell on one single thought against faith,' I feel that I should forthwith be assailed by the most dangerous temptations and should certainly be overcome by them.

"To avoid this calamity I have but to say humbly from the depths of my heart: 'O my God, I implore of Thee, suffer me not to be unfaithful!'

"I very well understand how St. Peter fell. He depended too confidently on the fervour of his feelings, instead of relying solely upon Divine strength. Had he said to Jesus: 'Lord, give me the strength to follow Thee even unto death,' that strength, I am quite sure would not have been refused him."

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

"OH! when I think of all I have to acquire!" exclaimed a novice.

"Say, rather, to _lose_. Jesus, it is, who charges Himself with the care of filling your soul according as you free it from its imperfections. I plainly see that you are taking the wrong road, you will never arrive at the end of your journey. You wish to scale a mountain and the good God wants to make you descend: He is waiting for you low down in the fertile valley of humility."

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

"WHEN I receive a reproof," said another, "I would rather have deserved it than be wrongfully accused."

"As for me," replied Thérèse, "I prefer being blamed unjustly, then I have no cause for self-reproach and I offer this unmerited blame to the good God with joy, then I humble myself at the thought that I should be quite capable of doing that of which I was accused."

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

WHEN we are not understood, and are unfavourably judged, what good is there in defending ourselves? Let us leave it so and say nothing, it is so sweet to let ourselves be judged no matter how! It is not told in the Gospels that Saint Magdalen gave any explanation when blamed by her sister for sitting inactive at the feet of Jesus. She did not say: "Martha, if thou didst but know my happiness, if thou didst but hear the words I hear, thou too wouldst lay all else aside, to share my joy and my repose." No, she chose rather to be silent . . . O blessed silence which gives to the soul such peace!

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

IN a moment of temptation and combat a novice received this note:

_"The just man shall correct me in mercy and reprove me; but let not the oil of the sinner anoint my head_. [15] I cannot be corrected or tried except by the just, inasmuch as all my Sisters are pleasing to God. It is less bitter to be reproved by a sinner than by the just; but _through compassion for sinners_, to obtain their conversion, I pray Thee, O my God, that I may be bruised by the just souls who are round about me. Again, I beg that the oil of praise, so sweet to nature, _anoint not my head_, that is to say, enervate not my mind, by making me believe that I possess virtues which I have only with difficulty practised several times.

"O my Jesus! _Thy Name is as oil poured out;_ [16] it is in this divine perfume that I wish to be wholly bathed, far away from the notice of creatures."

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

[15] Ps., cxl, 5. [16] Cant., i, 2.

AT the close of her life she was able to say: "I used so to rise above all things, that I drew strength from humiliations."

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. XII

"GOD has a special love for you," remarked a young Sister, "since to you He entrusts other souls."

"That does not add anything to me, and I am only really just what I am in God's sight . . . It does not follow that He loves me more, because He wills that I should be His interpreter to you; rather, He makes me your little servant. It is for you and not for me that He has given me the charms and virtues apparent to you.

"Often I compare myself to a little bowl which God fills with good things of every kind. All the _kittens_ come to it to take their share, and sometimes there is a contest as to which shall have most. But the Child Jesus is there, keeping watch: 'I am very willing that you drink from my little bowl' saith He, 'but take care lest you overturn it and break it.'

"Truth to tell, the danger is not great, because I am placed on the ground. It is otherwise with Prioresses: they, being set on tables run many more risks. Honours are always dangerous.

"Oh! how poisonous the praises served up day by day to those who hold high places. What baneful incense! And how necessary it is that the soul be detached from self, that so she may escape unharmed."

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

TO help a novice to accept a humiliation she said to her in confidence: "If I had not been received into Carmel I would have entered a Refuge, to live there unknown and despised in the midst of the poor penitents. To pass for such in the eyes of all would have been my happiness. I should have been the apostle of my companions telling them what I think of the Mercy of the good God."

"But how would you have been able to hide your innocence from your Confessor?"

"I would have told him that while in the world I had made a general confession and had been forbidden to do so again."

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

ONE day they brought her some ears of corn. She took one so laden with grain that it leaned down upon its stalk, and having looked at it for a long time she said to the Mother Prioress:

"Mother, this ear of corn is an image of my soul: the good God has laden me with graces for myself and for many others! . . . Oh! I wish ever to bow down beneath the abundance of Heaven's gifts, recognizing that all comes from above."

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. XII

WHAT do you think of all the graces which have been poured down upon you?

"I think that the Spirit of God breatheth where He will." [17]

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

[17] John, iii, 8.

A SISTER said that in Heaven she would be a beautiful flower, resplendent with light.

"Oh no," she replied, "you know how in pretty bouquets they conceal some moss to make the flowers stand out; well, I shall be a little bit of moss to set off the beauty of the elect."

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

DURING her last agony the Mother Prioress encouraged her with these words:

"My child, you are quite ready to appear before God because you have always understood the virtue of humility."

Then of herself she gave this beautiful testimony:

"Yes, I feel it, my soul has never sought but the truth . . . yes, I have understood humility of heart!"

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. XII

DETACHMENT

IF the impossible were possible and that God Himself did not see my good actions, I would not grieve about it. I love Him so much that I should like to be able to give Him pleasure without His knowing that it was I . . . Knowing and seeing it, He is, in a way, bound to repay me . . . I would not give Him the trouble.

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

THE glory of Jesus . . . that is my whole ambition; my own I abandon to Him; and if He seem to forget me, well, He is at liberty to do so since I am mine no more, but His. He will more quickly tire of making me wait, than I, of waiting!

VII LETTER TO MÈRE AGNÈS DE JÉSUS

THERE is no stay, no support to seek out of Jesus. He alone changeth not. What happiness to think that He can never change!

V LETTER TO MÈRE AGNÈS DE JÉSUS

THE sole happiness upon earth consists in hiding oneself and remaining in total ignorance of created things.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. VIII

FAR from dazzling me all the titles of nobility appear to me but empty vanity. I have understood those words of the _Imitation_: _"Be not solicitous for the shadow of a great name."_ [1] I have understood that true greatness is found not in the name but in the soul.

The Prophet tells us that _the Lord God shall call His servants by_ ANOTHER NAME; [2] and we read in St. John: _"To him that overcometh, I will give . . . a white counter, and in the counter a new name written, which no man knoweth but he that receiveth."_ [3] It is in Heaven, therefore, that we shall know our titles of nobility. Then _shall each one receive from God the praise that he merits,_ [4] and he who upon earth will have made choice of being the poorest and the most unknown for love of our Lord, he will be the first, the noblest and the richest.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. VI

[1] _Imit._, III, xxiv, 2. [2] Is., lxv, 15. [3] Apoc., ii, 17. [4] _Cf_. I Cor., iv, 5.

I THANK my Jesus for making me walk in darkness; in it I am wrapped in profound peace. Willingly I consent to stay, during the whole of my religious life, in this sombre tunnel into which He has made me enter; I desire only that my darkness may win light for sinners.

IV LETTER TO MÈRE AGNÈS DE JÉSUS

IN this world we must not become attached to anything--not even things the most innocent, for they fail us at the moment when we are least expecting it. The eternal alone can satisfy us.

I LETTER TO SR. MARIE DU SACRÉ-CŒUR

THIS prayer she bore upon her heart on the day of her Profession:

"O Jesus, my Divine Spouse, grant that the robe of my baptism be never sullied! Take me, rather than suffer me here below to stain my soul by committing the slightest wilful fault. May I never seek nor ever find but Thee alone! May all creatures be nothing to me, and I nothing to them! May no earthly thing disturb my peace!

. . . . . . .

"Grant that I fulfil my engagements in all their perfection; that none concern themselves about me; that I may be trodden underfoot, forgotten, as a little grain of sand. I offer myself to Thee, O Well-Beloved, that Thou mayst ever perfectly accomplish Thy holy will in me, without let or hindrance from creatures."

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. VIII

WITH jealous care all must be kept for Jesus; it is so good to work for Him, and for Him alone! How joyous then the heart and how buoyant the spirit! . . .

VI LETTER TO MÈRE AGNÈS DE JÉSUS

I HAVE never wished for human glory, contempt it was, that had attraction for my heart; but having recognized that this again was too glorious for me, I ardently desire to be forgotten.

VII LETTER TO MÈRE AGNÈS DE JÉSUS

IF you only knew to what a degree I wish to be indifferent to the things of the earth! What matters to me all created beauty? I should be truly unfortunate were I to possess it. Oh! how great, how noble, seems my heart when I look at it in relation to this world's goods, since all of them put together could never satisfy it; but when I consider it with reference to Jesus, how _small_ it then appears to me.

II LETTER TO MÈRE AGNÈS DE JÉSUS

YES, I now am able to say I have received the grace of being no more attached to the goods of mind and heart than to those of earth. If it happens that I repeat to my Sisters some thought of mine which pleases them, I think it quite natural that they should look on it as their own; this thought belongs to the Holy Ghost not to me, seeing that St. Paul tells us _that without the Spirit of Love we cannot give to God the name of Father_. [5] The Holy Spirit assuredly is free to use me as the means of conveying a good thought to a soul and I may not consider this thought as my property.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. X

[5] _Cf_. Rom., viii, 15.

"THERE is one only means of constraining the good God not to judge us at all, it is to appear before Him with our hands empty."

"But how?" they asked her.

"It is quite simple: keep nothing whatever in reserve, give away your gains according as you earn. As for me, if I live to be eighty I shall be always poor; I know not how to save up, all that I have goes immediately to ransom souls."

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

THE further you advance the fewer combats will you have, or rather, the easier will your conquests be, because you will look at the good side of things. Your soul will then rise above creatures. Anything that may be said to me now, leaves me absolutely indifferent, for I have realized how little stability there is in human judgments.

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

TO write books of devotion, to compose the most sublime poetry, is of less worth than the least act of self-renunciation.

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

"ONE Sunday," Thérèse tells us, "I went right joyously on my way towards the alley of chestnut trees; it was the spring-time, and I meant to enjoy the beauties of nature. O cruel disappointment! My dear chestnut trees had been pruned, and the branches, already loaded with verdant buds, lay strewn upon the ground! It was heartrending to view this destruction, and to think that three years must pass ere I could see it repaired . . . My distress however did not last. 'If I were in another monastery,' thought I, 'what difference would it make to me if the chestnut trees in the Carmel of Lisieux were cut down altogether? I will fret no more about transitory things; my Well-Beloved shall take the place of all else for me . . . I will wander ever in the groves of His love, which none may touch!'"

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

SHE said to her novices: "You are too much taken up about what you are doing, you torment yourselves concerning the future as if you had the care of it . . . Are you at this moment preoccupied with what is passing in other Carmels, as to whether the nuns are pressed or not? Do their labours hinder your prayer or meditation? Very well, so, too, ought you to be detached from your personal work, employing conscientiously therein the time directed, but with disengagement of heart.

"I have read that the Israelites, when building the walls of Jerusalem, worked with one hand and with the other held a sword. [6] That is truly a figure of what we ought to do: never give ourselves completely up to the work."

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

[6] II Esdras, iv, 17.

A NOVICE asked some of the Sisters to help to shake blankets, which being rather worn, she cautioned them somewhat sharply to be careful not to tear. Sœur Thérèse remarked:

"What would you do if it were not your office to mend these blankets? . . . With what detachment you would then act! And if you did point out that they are easily torn, how free from self-interest it would be. Thus, never let the least shadow of self-interest glide into your actions."

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

IN the infirmary the novices used scarcely to wait till her thanksgivings were ended before speaking to her and seeking her counsels. This, at first, grieved her and she gently reproached them. Then very soon she let them have their way, saying:

"The thought has struck me that I am not to desire more of repose than our Lord. When He retired into the desert after His discourses, the people came immediately to break in upon His solitude. Come to me as much as you will. I must die arms in hand, _having on my lips the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God_." [7]

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

[7] Ephes., vi, 17.

"HOW do you manage so to practise virtue," asked a novice, "as to be always the same, invariably joyous and composed?"

"It has not been always so," she replied, "but ever since I have shunned all self-seeking I lead the happiest life that can be."

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

NOW, that I am about to appear before the good God, more than ever do I understand that there is but one thing necessary: to work solely for Him, and to do nothing for self or for creatures.

X LETTER TO HER MISSIONARY "BROTHERS"

MORTIFICATION

FAR from being like to those great souls who from their childhood practise all sorts of macerations, I made my mortification consist solely in the breaking of my will, restraining a hasty word, rendering little services to those around me without making anything of it, and a thousand other things of this kind.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. VI

I had no taste for games, I should have liked to spend my life reading, but I was only to take a very limited time for this chosen recreation, and this was the ground of many a sacrifice, for I made it a point of duty to break off promptly at the end of the time allotted, even in the middle of the most interesting passage.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. IV

I HAD accustomed myself never to complain when anything of mine was taken away; and when unjustly blamed I chose rather to remain silent than to defend myself.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. I

I WAS ten years old the day that my Father told Céline he was going to let her have lessons in painting; I was by, and envied her. Then Papa said to me: "And you, my little queen, would it give you pleasure too to learn drawing?" I was just going to respond with a very gladsome _yes_, when Marie made the remark that I had not the same taste for it as Céline. At once she gained the day; and I, thinking that here was a good opportunity of offering a grand sacrifice to Jesus, said not a word. So eager was my desire to learn drawing that now I still wonder how I had the fortitude to remain silent.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. VIII

IN the world, on awakening in the morning I used to think over what would probably occur either pleasing or vexatious during the day; and if I foresaw only trying events I arose dispirited. Now it is quite the other way: I think of the difficulties and the sufferings that await me, and I rise the more joyous and full of courage the more I foresee opportunities of proving my love for Jesus, and _earning the living of my children_--seeing that I am _the mother_ of souls. Then I kiss my crucifix and lay it tenderly on the pillow while I dress, and I say to Him: "My Jesus, Thou hast worked enough and wept enough during the three-and-thirty years of Thy life on this poor earth. Take now Thy rest . . . My turn it is to suffer and to fight."

COUNSELS AND REMINISCENCES

THE attraction to penance was given me, but I was permitted nothing to satisfy it. The only mortifications I was allowed consisted in mortifying self-love, which did me more good than corporal penance.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. VII

AT prayer I was for a long time near a Sister who used to handle incessantly either her Rosary-beads or some other thing; perhaps none heard it but myself, for my hearing is extremely acute, but I cannot say how it tormented me! I should have liked to turn my head and look at the culprit so as to make her stop that noise: however in my heart I knew it was better to bear it patiently, for the love of God in the first place, and also to avoid giving pain.

I kept quiet therefore, but was sometimes worked up to fever-heat and obliged to make simply a prayer of endurance. Finally I sought out the means of suffering with peace and joy, at least in my innermost soul; I tried to like the teasing little noise. Instead of endeavouring not to hear it--a thing impossible--I listened with fixed attention as if it had been a delightful concert; and my prayer, _which was not the prayer of quiet_, passed in offering this concert to Jesus.

Another time I was in the laundry opposite a Sister who while washing handkerchiefs splashed me every minute with dirty water. My first impulse was to draw back and wipe my face, so as to show her who besprinkled me in that fashion, that she would oblige me by working more quietly; but I reflected immediately that it was very foolish to refuse treasures so generously offered me, and I took good care not to show my annoyance. On the contrary, I made such successful efforts to _wish_ for a plentiful splashing of dirty water, that at the end of half an hour I had really acquired a taste for this new sort of aspersion, and I determined to come again as often as possible to a place where happily such riches could be had gratuitously.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. X

I REMEMBER that sometimes, when a postulant, I was so violently tempted to indulge myself by seeking some little consolations, that I was obliged to go quickly past our Mother's cell, and cling to the banisters of the staircase so that I should not turn back. There would come to mind a number of permissions to ask, a hundred pretexts for deciding in favour of my natural inclinations and gratifying them. How glad I am now of having denied myself from the outset of my life in religion! Already I enjoy the reward promised to those who fight courageously. No longer do I feel the necessity of refusing myself consolations of the heart; for my heart is firmly fixed in God . . . Because it has loved Him above all, it has gradually enlarged, even so as to love those who are dear to it with a love incomparably deeper than if it were centred in a selfish and fruitless affection.

HIST. D'UNE AME, CH. X