CHAPTER XIV

ROUND ABOUT BEAMINSTER

Beaminster is six miles to the north of Bridport, and is reached by a pleasant walk, passing on the way the little village of Melplash.

It is a sleepy country town, deeply seated among hills, near the head-waters of the _Birt_, which flows through it. It is a place of some antiquity, but not remarkable for much, if we except its sufferings by fire. In 1644, when Prince Maurice was quartered here, it was burnt completely to the ground, having been fired by a drunken soldier. The greater part of it was a second time destroyed in 1684, and again in 1788.

Very prominent landmarks of the Beaminster district are Pilsdon Pen and Lewesdon Hill, two eminences of green sand remarkable for their likeness to one another. The singularity of their appearance has naturally excited much attention. Sailors, whom they serve as a landmark, call them the _Cow and the Calf_; the Rev. William Crowe has sung the praises of Lewesdon in a descriptive poem, and the two hills together have given rise to a proverbial saying current in this country and applied to neighbours who are not acquainted:

"... as much akin As Lew'son Hill to Pil'son Pen."

These hills command a charming prospect, and Pilsdon is further interesting as the site of an ancient camp, of oval form, encompassed by three strong ramparts and ditches. It is the highest point in the county, nine hundred and thirty-four feet above the sea. Crowe's _Lewesdon Hill_ was much admired by Rogers, who says in his _Table Talk_: "When travelling in Italy I made two authors my constant study for versification, Milton and Crowe."

Beaminster is in a centre of a district famous for its great dairies, flowers, bees and rural industries, and here is produced the famous Double Dorset and Blue Vinny cheese which has always a place on the table of the true Dorset family. The word "vinny" means mouldy; thus when the rustic thinks his cheese is in a fine ripe condition he will be likely to remark: "This yer cheese is butvul now; tez vinnied through and through." The same word is also used in Devonshire for "bad-tempered," thus, "You vinnied little mullybrub, git out of my sight this minut!" The large dairies where the cheeses are made are called "soap factories" by the facetious natives, and one frequently meets motor lorries grinding up the sharp hills beneath the burden of a hundred or so freshly pressed rounds of cheese.

In spite of the town's sufferings by fire the grand old church has fortunately always escaped. It is approached by a lane at the corner of the market-place. The pride of Beaminster is the old church tower, which was built in 1520. A native said to me: "Didee ever see zich a comfortable-looking old tower as that be, and I knaws you won't see more trinkrums on any church in the county." By "trinkrums" I suppose he meant the gargoyles, pinnacles and profusion of delicate carvings for which the gracious amber-coloured tower is justly famous. The church itself cannot vie with the tower for elegance or magnificence. Indeed the church is quite a dull-looking place. However, the nave, arcade and a squint from the south aisle into the chancel are Early English. The pulpit is Jacobean. There are two handsome monuments to members of the Strode family and some memorial windows to the Oglanders and other benefactors. Affixed to the pavement of the south aisle is an early brass, with this inscription in Old English characters:

"Pray for the soule of Sr. John Tone whos body lyth berid under this tombe on whos soule Jhu have mercy a patr nostr & ave."

Sir John was a priest, and probably a Knight of Malta, who died in Beaminster while he was on a pilgrimage through Dorset.

The church is the scene of a "well-authenticated" apparition. Down to the year 1748 the free school (of which the Rev. Samuel Hood, father of Admirals Viscount Hood and Lord Bridport, was at one time master) was held in one of the galleries, and there, on "Saturday, June 22, 1728," did one John Daniel appear at full noonday to five of his school-fellows, "between three weeks and a month after his burial." The reason was plain when his body was dug up and duly examined, for it was found that he had been strangled.

Letherbury, about a mile south of Beaminster, is a pleasant walk down the Brit valley, by the river-side. On the road is _Parnham_, a noble mansion of the Tudor period standing in a well wooded and watered demesne. From the Parnhams this estate came to the Strodes, passing thence in 1764 to the Oglanders. Other old houses in the neighbourhood of Beaminster are _Strode_, _Melplash_ and _Mapperton_, and the whole district bears the marks of long and prosperous agricultural occupation in the old-fashioned days when "squire" and tenant lived and died in semi-feudal relationship on the estate which the one owned and the other rented.

Mapperton House belongs to the time of Henry VIII. In the reign of that sovereign the lord of the manor was Robert Morgan, who had the following patent granted to him:--"Forasmoche as we bee credibly informed that our welbiloved Robert Morgan Esquier, for diverse infirmities which he hathe in his hedde, cannot convenyently, without his grete danngier, be discovered of the same. Whereupon wee in tendre consideration thereof have by these presents licensed him to use and wear his bonnet on his hed at all tymys, as wel in our presence as elsewher at his libertie."

Poor old Robert! Perhaps his Dorset stubbornness had as much to do with his wearing a "bonnet at all tymys" as the "infirmities in his hedde." But he was well able to take care of himself, for he built this beautiful manor-house and recorded the fact in the great hall:

"Robt. Morgan and Mary his wife built this house in their own lifetime, at their own charge and cost.

What they spent, that they lent: What they gave, that they have: What they left, that they lost."

A GLOSSARY OF WEST COUNTRY PROVINCIALISMS

_Abide._ Cannot abide a thing is, not able to suffer or put up with it.

_Addle._ Attle is a term used in mining, and signifies the rejected and useless rubbish. Hence an addled egg is an egg unfit for use.

_Aft_, now only used as a sea term, but anciently with degrees of comparison, as "after, aftest."

_Agate_, open-mouthed attention; hearkening with eagerness. "He was all _agate_," eager to hear what was said.

_Alare_, a short time ago: in common use.

_Anan._ A Shakespearean expression formerly used by the Dorset rustics when they wished to have a repetition of what had been said; but no one now uses it.

_Backalong_, homeward.

_Ballyrag_, to scold.

_Banging-gert_, very large.

_Barken_, an enclosed place, as a rick-barken, a rick-yard. In Sussex a yard or enclosure near a house is called a "barton," from barley; and tun, an enclosure.

_Barm_, yeast.

_Bayte_, to beat, or thrash.

"A wumman, A spenyel, And a walnut-tree, The oftener yu bayte 'em Better they'll be."

_Blare_, to shout loudly.

"Chillern pick up words as pigeons pease, And blare them again as God shall please."

_Brath_, the ancient Cornish name for a mastiff dog. Perhaps this accounts for the common expression, "a broth of a boy," meaning "a stout dog of a boy"--a sturdy fellow.

_Buck_, that peculiar infection which in summer sometimes gets into a dairy and spoils the cream and butter; a sign of gross negligence and want of skill, and not easily to be eradicated.

_Bumpkin_, a common term for a clumsy, uncouth man. But whence the word?--for it is also applied to a part of a ship where the foretack is fastened down. The word _bump_ means a protuberance, a prominence: to _bump_ against a thing is a local term for striking oneself clumsily against it.

_Butt_, a straw beehive.

"A butt of bees in May Is worth a guinea any day; A butt of bees in June Is worth a silver spoon; A butt of bees in July Isn't worth a fly."

_Chitter_, thin, folded up. It is applied to a thin and furrowed face, by way of ridicule. Such a one is said to be "chitter-faced." The long and folded milts or testes of some fishes are called "chitterlins," as were the frills at the bosom of shirts when they were so worn. The entrails of a pig cleaned and boiled are common food in Wiltshire, and the dish is called "chitterlings."

_Churer_, an occasional workman. Char, to do household work in the absence of a domestic servant as a charwoman. In Dorset they say "one good choor deserves another," instead of one good turn, etc.

_Click-handed_, left-handed.

_Cloam_, common earthenware.

_Clush_, to lie down close to the ground, to stoop low down.

_Clusty_, close and heavy; particularly applied to bread not well fermented, and therefore closely set. Also applied to a potato that is not mealy.

_Coccabelles_, icicles.

_Condididdle_, to filch away, to convey anything away by trickery.

_Craking_, complaining.

"I, Anthony James Pye Molley, Can burn, take, sink, and destroy; There's only one thing I can't do, on my life! And that is, to stop the craking tongue of my wife."

_Crummy_, fat, corpulent. "A fine crummy old fellow."

_Daddick_, rotten wood.

_Dew-bit_, breakfast.

_Dout_, to extinguish.

_Downargle_, to argue in an overbearing manner.

_Drattle you!_ A corruption of the irreverent oath, "God throttle you."

_Dubbin o' drenk_, a pot of ale.

_Durns_, door-posts.

_Ebbet_, the common lizard, commonly called the "eft," which may be a corruption of this word. The word _eft_ signifies speedy or quick.

_Escaped._ A person is said to be just escaped when his understanding is only just enough to warrant his being free from constraint of the tutelage of his friends.

_Ether_ or _Edder_, a hedge; also the twisted wands with which a "stake hedge" is made. They have a rhyme in Dorset on the durability of a "stake ether":

"An elder stake and black-thorn ether Will make a hedge to last for ever."

_Fags!_ or, _Aw Fegs!_ An interjection. Indeed! Truly!

_Fenigy_, to run away secretly, or so slip off as to deceive expectation; deceitfully to fail in a promise. It is most frequently applied to cases where a man has shown appearances of courtship to a woman, and then has left her without any apparent reason, and without any open quarrel.

_Fess_, proud, vain. "Lukee her agot a new bonnet. Why, her's as fess as a paycock." Mrs Durbeyfield uses this word in Hardy's _Tess_.

_Flaymerry_, a merry-making, or what is now vulgarly called "a spree," but with an innocent meaning, an excursion for amusement.

_Gabbern._ Gloomy, comfortless rooms and houses are "gabbern."

_Galley-bagger_, a person fond of gadding about.

_Gallied_, scared. Jonathan Kail the farm-hand at Talbothay's uses this word (see Hardy's _Tess_).

_Gallyvanting_, going from home.

"Then for these flagons of silver fine, Even they shall have no praise of mine; For when my lord or lady be going to dine, He sends them out to be filled with wine, But his man goes gallyvanting away, Because they are precious, and fine, and gay; But if the wine had been order'd in a leather bottel, The man would have come back, and all been well."

_Gigglet_, a merry young girl, one who shows her folly by a disposition to grin and laugh for no cause. It is used as a term of slight and contempt, and commonly to a young girl. Gigglet-market, a hiring-place for servants. From time immemorial, to within the last sixty years, on Lady Day young girls in Dorset and Devon were accustomed to stand in the market-place awaiting a chance of being hired as servants.

_Gu-ku_, cuckoo.

"The gu-ku is a merry bird, She sings as she flies; She brings us good tidings, She tells us no lies. She sucks little birds' eggs To make her voice clear; And when she sings 'gu-ku' The summer is near."

_Hadge_, hedge.

"Love thy neighbour--but dawnt pull down thy hadge."

_Holt_, hold.

"When you are an anvil, holt you still, When you are a hammer, strike your fill."

_Hozeburd_, a person of bad character. "Jack Dollop, a 'hore's bird of a fellow," is the hero of a story related by Dairyman Crick in Hardy's _Tess_.

_Klip_, a sudden smart blow, but not a heavy one. It is most usually applied to a "_klip_ under the ear." Of late the word _klipper_ is grown into use to describe a smart-sailing vessel, one that sails very swiftly, with some distant reference to the same idea.

_Knap_, prominent. It is sometimes applied to the prominent part of a hill; but it is more frequently used as significant of the form of a person's knees when they are distorted towards each other, and which some people have chosen to term knock-kneed.

_Lasher_, a large thing, of any sort. The meaning sought to be conveyed appears to be that this thing beats or excels every other. The opinion that any object which excels another is able to beat, _lash_ or inflict violence on that other is a strange but not uncommon vulgar one.

_Lof_, unwilling.

"Dawntee be like old Solomon Wise-- 'Lof tu go tu beyd And lof to rise.' Cuz then you'll soon be 'Out tu elbaws, Out tu toes, Out ov money, An out ov cloase.'"

_Main_, very. I remember once hearing a Dorset thatcher say:

"I be main fammled. I be so hungry I could welly eat the barn tiles."

_Mommet_, a scarecrow. See _Tess of the D'Urbervilles_: "Had it anything to do with father's making such a mommet of himself in thik carriage?"

_Nitch_, a bundle of reed, straw or wood. "He's got a nitch"--he is drunk.

_Peg_, pig. "Tez time tu watch out when you're getting all you want. Fattening pegs ain't 'ardly in luck!"

At a tithe dinner a farmer in giving the Royal toast said:

"The King, God bless him! May he be plaized to send us more pegs and less parsons."

_Stubberds_, delicious apples.

"Did you say the stars were worlds, Tess?"

"Yes."

"All like ours?"

"I don't know; but I think so. They sometimes seem to be like the apples on our stubbard-tree. Most of them splendid and sound--a few blighted."

"Which do we live on--a splendid one or a blighted one?"

"A blighted one." (See Thomas Hardy's _Tess_.)

_Stugged_, stuck in the mud.

"He that will not merry be With a pretty girl by the fire, I wish he was a-top o' Dartmoor A-stugged in the mire."

_Squab pie_, a pie in favour in Devon and Dorset:

"Mutton, onions, apples and dough Make a good pie as any I know."

_Ingredients._--3 lb. mutton or pork cutlets, 6 large apples sliced, 2 large onions, ¼ lb. salt fat bacon cut small, 2 oz. castor sugar, ½ pint of mutton broth, pepper and salt to taste. Place these in layers in a deep pie-dish, cover with rich paste and bake for an hour and a half, or place the whole in a crock and stew an hour and a half. Serve piping hot. I have seen clotted cream served and eaten with this "delicacy."

_Squab_, the youngest or weakest pig of the litter. The London costermonger speaks of the youngest member of his family as the "squab."

_Withwind_, the wild convolvulus.

_Withy_, the willow-tree. They say in Wiltshire, in reference to the very rapid growth of the willow, that "a withy tree will buy a horse before an oak will buy a bridle and saddle." The willow will often grow twelve feet in a season.

_Wizzened_, shrivelled, withered: as "a wizzened apple," "a wizzened-faced woman."

_Wosbird._ A term of reproach, the meaning of which appears to be unknown to those who use it. It is evidently a corruption of whore's-bird.

End of Project Gutenberg's Thomas Hardy's Dorset, by Robert Thurston Hopkins