SCENE II.--_Edmonton. A Room in_ CARTER’S _House_.

_Enter_ OLD THORNEY _and_ CARTER.

_O. Thor._ You offer, Master Carter, like a gentleman; I cannot find fault with it, ’tis so fair.

_Car._ No gentleman I, Master Thorney; spare the Mastership, call me by my name, John Carter. Master is a title my father, nor his before him, were acquainted with; honest Hertfordshire yeomen; such an one am I; my word and my deed shall be proved one at all times. I mean to give you no security for the marriage money.

_O. Thor._ How! no security? although it need not so long as you live, yet who is he has surety of his life one hour? Men, the proverb says, are mortal; else, for my part, I distrust you not, were the sum double.

_Car._ Double, treble, more or less, I tell you, Master Thorney, I’ll give no security. Bonds and bills are but terriers to catch fools, and keep lazy knaves busy; my security shall be present payment. And we here about Edmonton hold present payment as sure as an alderman’s bond in London, Master Thorney.

_O. Thor._ I cry you mercy, sir; I understood you not.

_Car._ I like young Frank well, so does my Susan too; the girl has a fancy to him, which makes me ready in my purse. There be other suitors within, that make much noise to little purpose. If Frank love Sue, Sue shall have none but Frank. ’Tis a mannerly girl, Master Thorney, though but a homely man’s daughter; there have worse faces looked out of black bags, man.

_O. Thor._ You speak your mind freely and honestly. I marvel my son comes not; I am sure he will be here some time to-day.

_Car._ To-day or to-morrow, when he comes he shall be welcome to bread, beer, and beef, yeoman’s fare; we have no kickshaws: full dishes, whole bellyfuls. Should I diet three days at one of the slender city-suppers, you might send me to Barber-Surgeons’ hall the fourth day, to hang up for an anatomy.[415]--Here come they that--

[415] Skeleton.

_Enter_ WARBECK _with_ SUSAN, SOMERTON _with_ KATHERINE.

How now, girls! every day play-day with you? Valentine’s day too, all by couples? Thus will young folks do when we are laid in our graves, Master Thorney; here’s all the care they take. And how do you find the wenches, gentlemen? have they any mind to a loose gown and a strait shoe? Win ’em and wear ’em; they shall choose for themselves by my consent.

_War._ You speak like a kind father.--Sue, thou hear’st The liberty that’s granted thee; what say’st thou? Wilt thou be mine?

_Sus._ Your what, sir? I dare swear Never your wife.

_War._ Canst thou be so unkind, Considering how dearly I affect thee, Nay, dote on thy perfections?

_Sus._ You are studied, Too scholar-like, in words I understand not. I am too coarse for such a gallant’s love As you are.

_War._ By the honour of gentility,--

_Sus._ Good sir, no swearing; yea and nay with us Prevail above all oaths you can invent.

_War._ By this white hand of thine,--

_Sus._ Take a false oath! Fie, fie! flatter the wise; fools not regard it, And one of these am I.

_War._ Dost thou despise me?

_Car._ Let ’em talk on, Master Thorney; I know Sue’s mind. The fly may buzz about the candle, he shall but singe his wings when all’s done; Frank, Frank is he has her heart.

_Som._ But shall I live in hope, Kate?

_Kath._ Better so Than be a desperate man.

_Som._ Perhaps thou think’st it is thy portion I level at: wert thou as poor in fortunes As thou art rich in goodness, I would rather Be suitor for the dower of thy virtues Than twice thy father’s whole estate; and, prithee, Be thou resolved[416] so.

[416] Persuaded.

_Kath._ Master Somerton, It is an easy labour to deceive A maid that will believe men’s subtle promises; Yet I conceive of you as worthily As I presume you to deserve.

_Som._ Which is, As worthily in loving thee sincerely As thou art worthy to be so beloved.

_Kath._ I shall find time to try you.

_Som._ Do, Kate, do; And when I fail, may all my joys forsake me!

_Car._ Warbeck and Sue are at it still. I laugh to myself, Master Thorney, to see how earnestly he beats the bush, while the bird is flown into another’s bosom. A very unthrift, Master Thorney; one of the country roaring-lads: we have such as well as the city, and as arrant rake-hells as they are, though not so nimble at their prizes of wit. Sue knows the rascal to an hair’s-breadth, and will fit him accordingly.

_O. Thor._ What is the other gentleman?

_Car._ One Somerton; the honester man of the two by five pound in every stone-weight. A civil fellow; he has a fine convenient estate of land in West Ham, by Essex: Master Ranges, that dwells by Enfield, sent him hither. He likes Kate well; I may tell you I think she likes him as well: if they agree, I’ll not hinder the match for my part. But that Warbeck is such another--I use him kindly for Master Somerton’s sake; for he came hither first as a companion of his: honest men, Master Thorney, may fall into knaves’ company now and then.

_War._ Three hundred a-year jointure, Sue.

_Sus._ Where lies it? By sea or by land? I think by sea.

_War._ Do I look like a captain?

_Sus._ Not a whit, sir. Should all that use the seas be reckoned captains, There’s not a ship should have a scullion in her To keep her clean.

_War._ Do you scorn me, Mistress Susan? Am I a subject to be jeered at?

_Sus._ Neither Am I a property for you to use As stale[417] to your fond wanton loose discourse: Pray, sir, be civil.

[417] A stalking-horse, cover.

_War._ Wilt be angry, wasp?

_Car._ God-a-mercy, Sue! she’ll firk him, on my life, if he fumble with her.

_Enter_ FRANK.

Master Francis Thorney, you are welcome indeed; your father expected your coming. How does the right worshipful knight, Sir Arthur Clarington, your master?

_Frank._ In health this morning.--Sir, my duty.

_O. Thor._ Now You come as I could wish.

_War._ [_Aside_] Frank Thorney, ha!

_Sus._ You must excuse me.

_Frank._ Virtuous Mistress Susan, Kind Mistress Katharine. [_Kisses them._]--Gentlemen, to both Good time o’ th’ day.

_Som._ The like to you.

_War._ ’Tis he. A word, friend. [_Aside to Som._] On my life, this is the man Stands fair in crossing Susan’s love to me.

_Som._ [_Aside to War._] I think no less; be wise, and take no notice on’t; He that can win her best deserves her.

_War._ [_Aside to Som._] Marry A serving-man? mew!

_Som._ [_Aside to War._] Prithee, friend, no more.

_Car._ Gentlemen all, there’s within a slight dinner ready, if you please to taste of it; Master Thorney, Master Francis, Master Somerton.--Why, girls! what huswives! will you spend all your forenoon in tittle-tattles? away! it’s well, i’faith.--Will you go in, gentlemen?

_O. Thor._ We’ll follow presently; my son and I Have a few words of business.

_Car._ At your pleasure. [_Exeunt all but_ O. THOR. _and_ FRANK.

_O. Thor._ I think you guess the reason, Frank, for which I sent for you.

_Frank._ Yes, sir.

_O. Thor._ I need not tell you With what a labyrinth of dangers daily The best part of my whole estate’s encumbered; Nor have I any clue to wind it out But what occasion proffers me; wherein If you should falter, I shall have the shame, And you the loss. On these two points rely Our happiness or ruin. If you marry With wealthy Carter’s daughter, there’s a portion Will free my land; all which I will instate,[418] Upon the marriage, to you: otherwise I must be of necessity enforced To make a present sale of all; and yet, For aught I know, live in as poor distress, Or worse, than now I do. You hear the sum? I told you thus before; have you considered on’t?

[418] Make over.

_Frank._ I have, sir; and however I could wish To enjoy the benefit of single freedom,-- For that I find no disposition in me To undergo the burthen of that care That marriage brings with it,--yet, to secure And settle the continuance of your credit, I humbly yield to be directed by you In all commands.

_O. Thor._ You have already used Such thriving protestations to the maid That she is wholly yours; and--speak the truth-- You love her, do you not?

_Frank._ ’Twere pity, sir, I should deceive her.

_O. Thor._ Better you’d been unborn. But is your love so steady that you mean, Nay, more, desire, to make her your wife?

_Frank._ Else, sir, It were a wrong not to be righted.

_O. Thor._ True, It were: and you will marry her?

_Frank._ Heaven prosper it, I do intend it.

_O. Thor._ O, thou art a villain! A devil like a man! Wherein have I Offended all the powers so much, to be Father to such a graceless, godless son?

_Frank._ To me, sir, this! O, my cleft heart!

_O. Thor._ To thee, Son of my curse. Speak truth and blush, thou monster! Hast thou not married Winnifred, a maid Was fellow-servant with thee?

_Frank_ [_Aside_]. Some swift spirit Has blown this news abroad; I must outface it.

_O. Thor._ D’ you study for excuse? why, all the country Is full on’t.

_Frank._ With your licence, ’tis not charitable, I’m sure it is not fatherly, so much To be o’erswayed with credulous conceit Of mere impossibilities; but fathers Are privileged to think and talk at pleasure.

_O. Thor._ Why, canst thou yet deny thou hast no wife?

_Frank._ What do you take me for? an atheist? One that nor hopes the blessedness of life Hereafter, neither fears the vengeance due To such as make the marriage-bed an inn, Which travellers, day and night, After a toilsome lodging, leave at pleasure? Am I become so insensible of losing The glory of creation’s work, my soul? O, I have lived too long!

_O. Thor._ Thou hast, dissembler. Dar’st thou perséver yet, and pull down wrath As hot as flames of hell to strike thee quick Into the grave of horror? I believe thee not; Get from my sight!

_Frank._ Sir, though mine innocence Needs not a stronger witness than the clearness Of an unperished conscience, yet for that I was informed how mainly you had been Possessed of this untruth,--to quit all scruple, Please you peruse this letter; ’tis to you.

_O. Thor._ From whom?

_Frank._ Sir Arthur Clarington, my master.

_O. Thor._ Well, sir. [_Reads._

_Frank_ [_Aside_]. On every side I am distracted; Am waded deeper into mischief Than virtue can avoid; but on I must: Fate leads me; I will follow.--There you read What may confirm you.

_O. Thor._ Yes, and wonder at it. Forgive me, Frank; credulity abused me. My tears express my joy; and I am sorry I injured innocence.

_Frank._ Alas! I knew Your rage and grief proceeded from your love To me; so I conceived it.

_O. Thor._ My good son, I’ll bear with many faults in thee hereafter; Bear thou with mine.

_Frank._ The peace is soon concluded.

_Re-enter_ CARTER _and_ SUSAN.

_Car._ Why, Master Thorney, d’ye mean to talk out your dinner? the company attends your coming. What must it be, Master Frank? or son Frank? I am plain Dunstable.[419]

[419] _i.e._ Blunt and honest. An old proverb.

_O. Thor._ Son, brother, if your daughter like to have it so.

_Frank._ I dare be confident she is not altered From what I left her at our parting last:-- Are you, fair maid?

_Sus._ You took too sure possession Of an engagèd heart.

_Frank._ Which now I challenge.

_Car._ Marry, and much good may it do thee, son. Take her to thee; get me a brace of boys at a burthen, Frank; the nursing shall not stand thee in a pennyworth of milk; reach her home and spare not: when’s the day?

_O. Thor._ To-morrow, if you please. To use ceremony Of charge and custom were to little purpose; Their loves are married fast enough already.

_Car._ A good motion. We’ll e’en have an household dinner, and let the fiddlers go scrape: let the bride and bridegroom dance at night together; no matter for the guests:--to-morrow, Sue, to-morrow.--Shall’s to dinner now?

_O. Thor._ We are on all sides pleased, I hope.

_Sus._ Pray Heaven I may deserve the blessing sent me: Now my heart is settled.

_Frank._ So is mine.

_Car._ Your marriage-money shall be received before your wedding-shoes can be pulled on. Blessing on you both!

_Frank_ [_Aside_]. No man can hide his shame from Heaven that views him; In vain he flees whose destiny pursues him. [_Exeunt._

ACT THE SECOND.