SCENE IV.

_Another Street._

_Enter_ WITGOOD _and Host_.

HOST. Fear you nothing, sir; I have lodged her in a house of credit, I warrant you. WIT. Hast thou the writings? HOST. Firm, sir. WIT. Prithee, stay, and behold two the most prodigious rascals that ever slipt into the shape of men; Dampit, sirrah, and young Gulf his fellow-caterpillar. HOST. Dampit? sure I have heard of that Dampit? WIT. Heard of him? why, man, he that has lost both his ears may hear of him; a famous infamous trampler of time; his own phrase. Note him well: that Dampit, sirrah, he in the uneven beard and the serge cloak, is the most notorious, usuring, blasphemous, atheistical, brothel-vomiting rascal, that we have in these latter times now extant; whose first beginning was the stealing of a masty[26] dog from a farmer’s house. HOST. He looked as if he would obey the commandment[s] well, when he began first with stealing. WIT. True: the next town he came at, he set the dogs together by th’ ears. HOST. A sign he should follow the law, by my faith. WIT. So it followed, indeed; and being destitute of all fortunes, staked his masty against a noble,[27] and by great fortune his dog had the day: how he made it up ten shillings, I know not; but his own boast is, that he came to town but with ten shillings in his purse, and now is credibly worth ten thousand pound. HOST. How the devil came he by it?

_Enter_ DAMPIT _and_ GULF.

WIT. How the devil came he not by it? If you put in the devil once, riches come with a vengeance: has been a trampler of the law,[28] sir; and the devil has a care of his footmen. The rogue has spied me now; he nibbled me finely once, too:—a pox search you! [_Aside._]—O, master Dampit!—the very loins of thee! [_Aside._]—Cry you mercy, master Gulf; you walk so low, I promise you I saw you not, sir. GULF. He that walks low walks safe, the poets tell us. WIT. And nigher hell by a foot and a half than the rest of his fellows.— [_Aside._ But, my old Harry! DAM. My sweet Theodorus! WIT. ’Twas a merry world when thou camest to town with ten shillings in thy purse. DAM. And now worth ten thousand pound, my boy. Report it; Harry Dampit, a trampler of time, say, he would be up in a morning, and be here with his serge gown, dashed up to the hams in a cause; have his feet stink about Westminster Hall, and come home again; see the galleons, the galleasses,[29] the great armadas of the law; then there be hoys and petty vessels, oars and scullers of the time; there be picklocks of the time too; then would I be here; I would trample up and down like a mule: now to the judges, _May it please your reverend honourable fatherhoods_; then to my counsellor, _May it please your worshipful patience_; then to the examiner’s office, _May it please your mastership’s gentleness_; then to one of the clerks, _May it please your worshipful lousiness_,—for I find him scrubbing in his cod-piece; then to the hall again, then to the chamber again—— WIT. And when to the cellar again? DAM. E’en when thou wilt again: tramplers of time, motions of Fleet Street, and visions of Holborn;[30] here I have fees of one, there I have fees of another; my clients come about me, the fooliaminy and coxcombry of the country: I still trashed[31] and trotted for other men’s causes; thus was poor Harry Dampit made rich by others’ laziness, who, though they would not follow their own suits, I made ’em follow me with their purses. WIT. Didst thou so, old Harry? DAM. Ay, and I soused ’em with bills of charges, i’faith; twenty pound a-year have I brought in for boat-hire, and I ne’er stept into boat in my life. WIT. Tramplers of time! DAM. Ay, tramplers of time, rascals of time, bull-beggars![32] WIT. Ah, thou’rt a mad old Harry!—Kind master Gulf, I am bold to renew my acquaintance. GULF. I embrace it, sir. [_Exeunt._