ACT II. SCENE I.

_An Ordinary._[988]

REARAGE, SALEWOOD, LETHE, EASY, _and_ SHORTYARD, _discovered at dice: Boy attending_.

REAR. Gentlemen, I ha’ sworn I’ll change the room. Dice? devils! LET. You see I’m patient, gentlemen. SALE. Ay, the fiend’s in’t! you’re patient; you put up all. REAR. Come, set me, gentlemen! SHO. An Essex gentleman, sir. EASY. An unfortunate one, sir. SHO. I’m bold to salute you, sir: you know not master Alsup there? EASY. O, entirely well. SHO. Indeed, sir? EASY. He’s second to my bosom. SHO. I’ll give you that comfort then, sir, you must not want money as long as you are in town, sir. EASY. No, sir? SHO. I am bound in my love to him to see you furnished; and in that comfort I recover my salute again, sir. EASY. Then I desire to be more dear unto you. SHO. I rather study to be dear unto you. [_Aside._]—Boy, fill some wine.—I knew not what fair impressure[989] I received at first, but I began to affect your society very speedily. EASY. I count myself the happier. SHO. To master Alsup, sir; to whose remembrance I could love to drink till I were past remembrance. [_Drinks._ EASY. I shall keep Christmas with him, sir, where your health shall likewise undoubtedly be remembered; and thereupon I pledge you. [_Drinks._] I would sue for your name, sir. SHO. Your suit shall end in one term, sir; my name is Blastfield. EASY. Kind master Blastfield, your dearer acquaintance. [_Drinks._ REAR. Nay, come, will ye draw in, gentlemen? set me. EASY. Faith, I’m scattered. SHO. Sir, you shall not give out so meanly of yourself in my company for a million: make such privy to your disgrace! you’re a gentleman of fair fortunes; keep me your reputation: set ’em all; there’s crowns for you. [_Giving him money._ EASY. Sir, you bind me infinitely in these courtesies. SHO. You must always have a care of your reputation here in town, master Easy: although you ride down with nothing, it skills[990] not. EASY. I’m glad you tell me that yet, then I’m indifferent.—Well, come; who throws? I set all these. SHO. Why, well said. SALE. This same master Lethe here begins to undo us again. LET. Ah, sir, I came not hither but to win! SHO. And then you’ll leave us; that’s your fashion. LET. He’s base that visits not his friends. SHO. But he’s more base that carries out his winnings; None will do so but those have base beginnings. LET. It is a thing in use, and ever was. I pass this time. SHO. I wonder you should pass, And that you’re suffer’d. LET. Tut, the dice are ours; Then wonder not at those that have most powers. REAR. The devil and his angels! LET. Are these they? Welcome, dear angels![991] where you’re curs’d ne’er stay. SALE. Here’s luck! EASY. Let’s search him, gentlemen; I think he wears a smock.[992] SHO. I knew the time he wore not half a shirt, Just like a pea. EASY. No? how did he for the rest? SHO. Faith, he compounded with a couple of napkins at Barnet, and so trussed up the lower parts. EASY. ’Twas a pretty shift, i’faith! SHO. But master Lethe has forgot that too. EASY. A mischief on’t, to lose all! I could—— SHO. Nay, but, good master Easy, do not do yourself that tyranny, I beseech you; I must not ha’ you alter your body now for the purge of a little money: you undo me, and[993] you do.

EASY. ’Twas all I brought up with me, I protest, master Blastfield; all my rent till next quarter. SHO. Pox of money! talk not on’t, I beseech you,—what said I to you? mass, I am out of cash myself too.—Boy. BOY. Anon, sir. SHO. Run presently to master Gum the mercer, and will[994], him to tell out two or three hundred pound for me, or more, according as he is furnished: I’ll visit him i’ th’ morning, say. BOY. It shall be said, sir. [_Going._ SHO. Do you hear, boy? BOY. Yes, sir. SHO. If master Gum be not sufficiently ready, call upon master Profit the goldsmith. BOY. It shall be done, sir. [_Going._ SHO. Boy. BOY. I knew[995] I was not sent yet; now is the time. [_Aside._ SHO. Let them both rest till another occasion; you shall not need to run so far at this time; take one nigher hand; go to master Quomodo the draper, and will him to furnish me instantly. BOY. Now I go, sir. [_Exit._ EASY. It seems you’re well known, master Blastfield, and your credit very spacious here i’ th’ city. SHO. Master Easy, let a man bear himself portly, the whorsons will creep to him a’ their bellies, and their wives a’ their backs: there’s a kind of bold grace expected throughout all the parts of a gentleman. Then for your observances, a man must not so much as spit but within line and fashion. I tell you what I ha’ done: sometimes I carry my water all London over only to deliver it proudly at the Standard;[996] and do I pass altogether unnoted, think you? no, a man can no sooner peep out his head but there’s a bow bent at him out of some watch-tower or other. EASY. So readily, sir? SHO. Push,[997] you know a bow’s quickly ready, though a gun be long a-charging, and will shoot five times to his once. Come, you shall bear yourself jovially: take heed of setting your looks to your losses, but rather smile upon your ill luck, and invite ’em to-morrow to another breakfast of bones. EASY. Nay, I’ll forswear dicing. SHO. What? peace, I am ashamed to hear you: will you cease in the first loss? shew me one gentleman that e’er did it. Fie upon’t, I must use you to company, I perceive; you’d be spoiled else. Forswear dice! I would your friends heard you, i’faith! EASY. Nay, I was but in jest, sir. SHO. I hope so: what would gentlemen say of you? there goes a gull that keeps his money! I would not have such a report go on you for the world, as long as you are in my company. Why, man, fortune alters in a minute; I ha’ known those have recovered so much in an hour, their purses were never sick after. REAR. O, worse than consumption of the liver! consumption of the patrimony! SHO. How now? Mark their humours, master Easy. REAR. Forgive me, my posterity yet ungotten! SHO. That’s a penitent maudlin dicer. REAR. Few know the sweets that the plain life allows: Vild[998] son that surfeits of his father’s brows! SHO. Laugh at him, master Easy. EASY. Ha, ha, ha! SALE. I’ll be damned, and[999] these be not the bones of some quean that cozened me in her life, and now consumes me after her death. SHO. That’s the true wicked, blasphemous, and soul- shuddering dicer, that will curse you all service-time, and attribute his ill luck always to one drab or other!

_Enter_ HELLGILL.

LET. Dick Hellgill? the happy news. HELL. I have her for you, sir. LET. Peace: what is she? HELL. Young, beautiful, and plump; a delicate piece of sin. LET. Of what parentage? HELL. O, a gentlewoman of a great house. LET. Fie, fie. HELL. She newly came out of a barn—yet too good for a tooth-drawer’s son. [_Aside._ LET. Is she wife or maid? HELL. That which is daintiest, maid. LET. I’d rather she’d been a wife. HELL. A wife, sir? why? LET. O, adultery is a great deal sweeter in my mind. HELL. Diseases gnaw thy bones! [_Aside._ I think she has deserv’d to be a wife, sir. LET. That will move well. HELL. Her firstlings shall be mine: Swine look but for the husks; the meat be thine.

_Re-enter Boy._

SHO. How now, boy? BOY. Master Quomodo takes your worship’s greeting exceeding kindly, and in his commendations returns this answer, that your worship shall not be so apt to receive it as he willing to lend it. SHO. Why, we thank him, i’faith. EASY. Troth, and you ha’ reason to thank him, sir; ’twas a very friendly answer. SHO. Push,[1000] a gentleman that keeps his days even here i’ th’ city, as I myself watch to do, shall have many of those answers in a twelvemonth, master Easy. EASY. I promise you, sir, I admire your carriage, and begin to hold a more reverend respect of you. SHO. Not so, I beseech you; I give my friends leave to be inward[1001] with me.—Will you walk, gentlemen? LET. We’re for you.— Present her with this jewel, my first token. [_Giving jewel to_ HELLGILL.

_Enter Drawer._

DRA. There are certain countrymen without, inquiring for master Rearage and master Salewood. REAR. Tenants? SALE. Thou revivest us, rascal. REAR. When’s our next meeting, gentlemen? SHO. To-morrow night; This gentleman, by me, invites you all.— Do you not, master Easy? EASY. Freely, sir. SALE. We do embrace your love.—A pure, fresh gull. [_Aside._ SHO. Thus make you men at parting dutiful, And rest beholding[1002] to you; ’tis the slight,[1003] To be remember’d when you’re out of sight. EASY. A pretty virtue! [_Exeunt._