SCENE III.

_A Street; before_ IMPERIA’s _House; a ladder of ropes hanging from the window_.

_Enter_ CURVETTO _with a lantern_.

CUR. Brisk as a capering tailor! I was wash’d, But did they shave me? no, I am too wise; Lie close i’ th’ bosom of their knaveries; I’m[732] an old hoary courtier, and strike dead; I hit my marks: ware, ware, a perilous[733] head! Cast,[734]—I must find a ladder made of ropes;

_Enter_ BLURT, SLUBBER, WOODCOCK, _and the rest of the Watch_.

Ladder and rope; what follow? hanging; ay; But where? ah ha, there does the riddle lie. I have ’scap’d drowning; but, but, but, I hope I shall not ’scape the ladder and the rope. WOOD. Yonder’s a light, master constable. BLURT. Peace, Woodcock, the sconce[735] approaches. CUR. Whew! BLURT. Ay, whistling?—Slubber, jog the watch, and give the lantern a flap. CUR. Whew! Simp, Simperina!

_Enter_ FRISCO _above_.

FRIS. Who’s there? CUR. Who’s there? FRIS. Signior Curvetto? here’s the ladder; I watch to do you a good turn: I am Frisco. Is not Blurt abroad and his bill-men?[736] CUR. No matter if they be; I hear none nigh; I will snug close; out goes my candle’s eye; My sconce takes this in snuff;[737] all’s one; I care not. FRIS. Why, when?[738] CUR. I come; close, close; hold, rope, and spare not. [_Begins to ascend the ladder._ SLUB. Now the candle’s out. BLURT. Peace! CUR. Frisco, light, light! my foot is slipt; call help. FRIS. Help, help, help! thieves, thieves! help, thieves, &c.[739] BLURT. Thieves? where? Follow close. Slubber, the lantern.—Hold, I charge you, in the duke’s name, stand: sirrah, you’re like to hang for this.—Down with him. [_They take_ CURVETTO _down_. FRIS. Master Blurt, master constable, here’s his ladder: he comes to rob my mistress. I have been scared out of my wits above seven times by him, and it’s forty to one if ever they come in again. I lay felony to his charge. CUR. Felony? you cony-catching[740] slave. FRIS. Cony-catching will bear an action. I’ll cony-catch you for this.—If I can find our key, I will aid you, Master Blurt: if not, look to him, as you will answer it upon your deathbed. BLURT. What are you? CUR. A Venetian gentleman.—Woodcock, how dost thou, Woodcock?[741] WOOD. Thank your worship. BLURT. Woodcock, you are of our side[742] now, and therefore your acquaintance cannot serve. And[743] you were a gentleman of velvet, I would commit you. CUR. Why, what are you, sir? BLURT. What am I, sir? do not you know this staff? I am, sir, the duke’s own image: at this time the duke’s tongue (for fault of a better) lies in my mouth; I am constable, sir. CUR. Constable, and commit me? marry, Blurt master- constable. BLURT. Away with him! [_He strives._ OMNES. It’s folly to strive. BLURT. I say, away with him.—I’ll Blurt you; I’ll teach you to stand covered to authority: your hoary head shall be knocked when this staff is in place. CUR. Ay, but, master-constable—— BLURT. No, pardon me, you abuse the duke in me, that am his cipher.—I say, away with him; Gulch, away with him; Woodcock, keep you with me. I will be known for more than Blurt. [_Exit, the rest of the Watch carrying off_ CURVETTO.

_Enter_ LAZARILLO.

LAZ. Thou honest fellow, the man in the moon, I beseech thee set fire on thy bush of thorns, to light and warm me, for I am dung-wet. I fell like Lucifer, I think, into hell, and am crawled out, but in worse pickle than my lean Pilcher.[744] Hereabout is the hothouse of my love. Ho, ho! why ho, there! FRIS. Who’s that? What devil stands hohing at my door so late? LAZ. I beseech thee, Frisco, take in Lazarillo’s ghost. FRIS. Lazarillo’s ghost? haunt me not, I charge thee; I know thee not: I am in a dream of a dry summer, therefore appear not to me. LAZ. Is not this the mansion of the cherry-lipped madonna Imperia? FRIS. Yes; how then? You fly-blown rascal, what art thou? LAZ. Lazarillo de Tormes: sweet blood, I have a poor Spanish suit[745] depending in your house; let me enter, most precious Frisco; the mistress of this mansion is my beautiful hostess. FRIS. How, you turpentine pill, my wife your hostess? away, you Spanish vermin! LAZ. I beseech thee, most pitiful Frisco, allow my lamentation. FRIS. And[746] you lament here, I’ll stone you with brickbats: I am asleep. LAZ. My slop[747] and mandillion[748] lie at thy mercy, fine Frisco; I beseech thee, let not my case be thine: I must and will lament. FRIS. Must you? I’ll wash off your tears; away, you hog’s-face! [_Drenches him with foul water, and exit._ LAZ. Thou hast soused my poor hog’s-face. O Frisco, thou art a scurvy doctor, to cast my water no better! it is most rammish urine: Mars shall not save thee; I will make a brown toast of thy heart, and drink it in a pot of thy strong blood.

_Enter_ BLURT _and all his Watch_.'

BLURT. Such fellows must be taken down. Stand. What white thing is yonder? SLUB. Who goes there? come before the constable. LAZ. My dear host Blurt! BLURT. You have Blurted fair: I am by my office to examine you, where you have spent these two nights. LAZ. Most big Blurt, I answer thy great authority, that I have been in hell, and am scratched to death with puss-cats. BLURT. Do you run a’ th’ score at an officer’s house, and then run above twelve score off? LAZ. I did not run, my sweet-faced Blurt: the Spanish fleet is bringing gold enough to discharge all from the Indies: lodge me, most pitiful bill-man.[749] BLURT. Marry, and will. I am, in the duke’s name, to charge you with despicious of felony; and burglary is committed this night; and we are to reprehend any that we think to be faulty. Were not you at madonna freckle- face’s house? LAZ. _Signior, si._ BLURT. Away with him, clap him up. LAZ. Most thundering Blurt, do not clap me; most thundering[750] Blurt, do not clap me. BLURT. Master Lazarus, I know you are a sore fellow where you take, and therefore I charge you, in the duke’s name, to go without wrasling, though you be in your shirt. LAZ. Commendable Blurt—— BLURT. The end of my commendations is to commit you. LAZ. I am kin to Don Diego,[751] the Spanish adelantado.[752] BLURT. If you be kin to Don Diego that was smelt out in Paul’s,[753] you pack; your lantedoes nor your lanteeroes cannot serve your turn. I charge you, let me commit you to the tuition—— LAZ. Worshipful Blurt, do not commit me into the hands of dogs. OMNES. Dogs! BLURT. Master Lazarus, there’s not a dog shall bite you: these are true bill-men,[754] that fight under the commonwealth’s flag. LAZ. Blurt—— BLURT. Blurt me no Blurts; I’ll teach all Spaniards how to meddle with whores. LAZ. Most cunning constable, all Spaniards know that already; I have meddled with none. BLURT. Your being in your shirt bewrays[755] you. LAZ. I beseech thee, most honest Blurt, let not my shirt bewray me. BLURT. I say, away with him. [_Music._] Music? that’s in the courtesan’s; they are about some ungodly act; but I’ll play a part in’t ere morning. Away with Lazarus. OMNES. Come, Spaniard. LAZ. Thy kites and thee for this shall watch in dirt, To feed on carrion. BLURT. Hence, ptrooh! LAZ. O base Blurt!