Part 1

Produced by David Widger

THE WORKS OF ROBERT G. INGERSOLL

By Robert G. Ingersoll

"The Hands That Help Are Better Far Than Lips That Pray."

In Twelve Volumes, Volume IV.

1900

THE DRESDEN EDITION

CONTENTS OF VOLUME IV.

WHY I AM AN AGNOSTIC.

(1896.)

I. Influence of Birth in determining Religious Belief--Scotch, Irish, English, and Americans Inherit their Faith--Religions of Nations not Suddenly Changed--People who Knew--What they were Certain About--Revivals--Character of Sermons Preached--Effect of Conversion--A Vermont Farmer for whom Perdition had no Terrors--The Man and his Dog--Backsliding and Re-birth--Ministers who were Sincere--A Free Will Baptist on the Rich Man and Lazarus--II. The Orthodox God--The Two Dispensations--The Infinite Horror--III. Religious Books--The Commentators--Paley's Watch Argument--Milton, Young, and Pollok--IV. Studying Astronomy--Geology--Denial and Evasion by the Clergy--V. The Poems of Robert Burns--Byron, Shelley, Keats, and Shakespeare--VI. Volney, Gibbon, and Thomas Paine--Voltaire's Services to Liberty--Pagans Compared with Patriarchs--VII. Other Gods and Other Religions--Dogmas, Myths, and Symbols of Christianity Older than our Era--VIII. The Men of Science, Humboldt, Darwin, Spencer, Huxley, Haeckel--IX. Matter and Force Indestructible and Uncreatable--The Theory of Design--X. God an Impossible Being--The Panorama of the Past--XI. Free from Sanctified Mistakes and Holy Lies.

THE TRUTH.

(1897.)

I. The Martyrdom of Man--How is Truth to be Found--Every Man should be Mentally Honest--He should be Intellectually Hospitable--Geologists, Chemists, Mechanics, and Professional Men are Seeking for the Truth--II. Those who say that Slavery is Better than Liberty--Promises are not Evidence--Horace Greeley and the Cold Stove--III. "The Science of Theology" the only Dishonest Science--Moses and Brigham Young--Minds Poisoned and Paralyzed in Youth--Sunday Schools and Theological Seminaries--Orthodox Slanderers of Scientists--Religion has nothing to do with Charity--Hospitals Built in Self-Defence--What Good has the Church Accomplished?--Of what use are the Orthodox Ministers, and What are they doing for the Good of Mankind--The Harm they are Doing--Delusions they Teach--Truths they Should Tell about the Bible--Conclusions--Our Christs and our Miracles.

HOW TO REFORM MANKIND.

(1896.)

I. "There is no Darkness but Ignorance"--False Notions Concerning All Departments of Life--Changed Ideas about Science, Government and Morals--II. How can we Reform the World?--Intellectual Light the First Necessity--Avoid Waste of Wealth in War--III. Another Waste--Vast Amount of Money Spent on the Church--IV. Plow can we Lessen Crime?--Frightful Laws for the Punishment of Minor Crimes--A Penitentiary should be a School--Professional Criminals should not be Allowed to Populate the Earth--V. Homes for All-Make a Nation of Householders--Marriage and Divorce-VI. The Labor Question--Employers cannot Govern Prices--Railroads should Pay Pensions--What has been Accomplished for the Improvement of the Condition of Labor--VII. Educate the Children--Useless Knowledge--Liberty cannot be Sacrificed for the Sake of Anything--False worship of Wealth--VIII. We must Work and Wait.

A THANKSGIVING SERMON.

(1897.)

I. Our fathers Ages Ago--From Savagery to Civilization--For the Blessings we enjoy, Whom should we Thank?--What Good has the Church Done?-Did Christ add to the Sum of Useful Knowledge--The Saints--What have the Councils and Synods Done?--What they Gave us, and What they did Not--Shall we Thank them for the Hell Here and for the Hell of the Future?--II. What Does God Do?--The Infinite Juggler and his Puppets--What the Puppets have Done--Shall we Thank these Gods?--Shall we Thank Nature?--III. Men who deserve our Thanks--The Infidels, Philanthropists and Scientists--The Discoverers and Inventors--Magellan--Copernicus--Bruno--Galileo--Kepler, Herschel, Newton, and LaPlace--Lyell--What the Worldly have Done--Origin and Vicissitudes of the Bible--The Septuagint--Investigating the Phenomena of Nature--IV. We thank the Good Men and Good Women of the Past--The Poets, Dramatists, and Artists--The Statesmen--Paine, Jefferson, Ericsson, Lincoln. Grant--Voltaire, Humboldt, Darwin.

A LAY SERMON.

(1886.)

Prayer of King Lear--When Honesty wears a Rag and Rascality a Robe-The Nonsense of "Free Moral Agency "--Doing Right is not Self-denial-Wealth often a Gilded Hell--The Log House--Insanity of Getting More--Great Wealth the Mother of Crime--Separation of Rich and Poor--Emulation--Invention of Machines to Save Labor--Production and Destitution--The Remedy a Division of the Land--Evils of Tenement Houses--Ownership and Use--The Great Weapon is the Ballot--Sewing Women--Strikes and Boycotts of No Avail--Anarchy, Communism, and Socialism--The Children of the Rich a Punishment for Wealth--Workingmen Not a Danger--The Criminals a Necessary Product--Society's Right to Punish--The Efficacy of Kindness--Labor is Honorable--Mental Independence.

THE FOUNDATIONS OF FAITH.

(1895.)

I. The Old Testament--Story of the Creation--Age of the Earth and of Man--Astronomical Calculations of the Egyptians--The Flood--The Firmament a Fiction--Israelites who went into Egypt--Battles of the Jews--Area of Palestine--Gold Collected by David for the Temple--II. The New Testament--Discrepancies about the Birth of Christ--Herod and the Wise Men--The Murder of the Babes of Bethlehem--When was Christ born--Cyrenius and the Census of the World--Genealogy of Christ according to Matthew and Luke--The Slaying of Zacharias--Appearance of the Saints at the Crucifixion--The Death of Judas Iscariot--Did Christ wish to be Convicted?--III. Jehovah--IV. The Trinity--The Incarnation--Was Christ God?--The Trinity Expounded--"Let us pray"--V. The Theological Christ--Sayings of a Contradictory Character--Christ a Devout Jew--An ascetic--His Philosophy--The Ascension--The Best that Can be Said about Christ--The Part that is beautiful and Glorious--The Other Side--VI. The Scheme of Redemption--VII. Belief--Eternal Pain--No Hope in Hell, Pity in Heaven, or Mercy in the Heart of God--VIII. Conclusion.

SUPERSTITION.

(1898.)

I. What is Superstition?--Popular Beliefs about the Significance of Signs, Lucky and Unlucky Numbers, Days, Accidents, Jewels, etc.--Eclipses, Earthquakes, and Cyclones as Omens--Signs and Wonders of the Heavens--Efficacy of Bones and Rags of Saints--Diseases and Devils--II. Witchcraft--Necromancers--What is a Miracle?--The Uniformity of Nature--III. Belief in the Existence of Good Spirits or Angels--God and the Devil--When Everything was done by the Supernatural--IV. All these Beliefs now Rejected by Men of Intelligence--The Devil's Success Made the Coming of Christ a Necessity--"Thou shalt not Suffer a Witch to Live"--Some Biblical Angels--Vanished Visions--V. Where are Heaven and Hell?--Prayers Never Answered--The Doctrine of Design--Why Worship our Ignorance?--Would God Lead us into Temptation?--President McKinley's Thanks giving for the Santiago Victory--VI. What Harm Does Superstition Do?--The Heart Hardens and the Brain Softens--What Superstition has Done and Taught--Fate of Spain--Of Portugal, Austria, Germany--VII. Inspired Books--Mysteries added to by the Explanations of Theologians--The Inspired Bible the Greatest Curse of Christendom--VIII. Modifications of Jehovah--Changing the Bible--IX. Centuries of Darkness--The Church Triumphant--When Men began to Think--X. Possibly these Superstitions are True, but We have no Evidence--We Believe in the Natural--Science is the Real Redeemer.

THE DEVIL.

(1899.)

I. If the Devil should Die, would God Make Another?--How was the Idea of a Devil Produced--Other Devils than Ours--Natural Origin of these Monsters--II. The Atlas of Christianity is The Devil--The Devil of the Old Testament--The Serpent in Eden--"Personifications" of Evil--Satan and Job--Satan and David--III. Take the Devil from the Drama of Christianity and the Plot is Gone--Jesus Tempted by the Evil One--Demoniac Possession--Mary Magdalene--Satan and Judas--Incubi and Succubi--The Apostles believed in Miracles and Magic--The Pool of Bethesda--IV. The Evidence of the Church--The Devil was forced to Father the Failures of God--Belief of the Fathers of the Church in Devils--Exorcism at the Baptism of an Infant in the Sixteenth Century--Belief in Devils made the Universe a Madhouse presided over by an Insane God--V. Personifications of the Devil--The Orthodox Ostrich Thrusts his Head into the Sand--If Devils are Personifications so are all the Other Characters of the Bible--VI. Some Queries about the Devil, his Place of Residence, his Manner of Living, and his Object in Life--Interrogatories to the Clergy--VII. The Man of Straw the Master of the Orthodox Ministers--His recent Accomplishments--VIII. Keep the Devils out of Children--IX. Conclusion.--Declaration of the Free.

PROGRESS.

(1860-64.)

The Prosperity of the World depends upon its Workers--Veneration for the Ancient--Credulity and Faith of the Middle Ages--Penalty for Reading the Scripture in the Mother Tongue--Unjust, Bloody, and Cruel Laws--The Reformers too were Persecutors--Bigotry of Luther and Knox--Persecution of Castalio--Montaigne against Torture in France--"Witchcraft" (chapter on)--Confessed Wizards--A Case before Sir Matthew Hale--Belief in Lycanthropy--Animals Tried and Executed--Animals received as Witnesses--The Corsned or Morsel of Execution--Kepler an Astrologer--Luther's Encounter with the Devil--Mathematician Stoefflers, Astronomical Prediction of a Flood--Histories Filled with Falsehood--Legend about the Daughter of Pharaoh invading Scotland and giving the Country her name--A Story about Mohammed--A History of the Britains written by Archdeacons--Ingenuous Remark of Eusebius--Progress in the Mechanic Arts--England at the beginning of the Eighteenth Century--Barbarous Punishments--Queen Elizabeth's Order Concerning Clergymen and Servant Girls--Inventions of Watt, Arkwright, and Others--Solomon's Deprivations--Language (chapter on)--Belief that the Hebrew was< the original Tongue--Speculations about the Language of Paradise--Geography (chapter on)--The Works of Cosmas--Printing Invented--Church's Opposition to Books--The Inquisition--The Reformation--"Slavery" (chapter on)--Voltaire's Remark on Slavery as a Contract--White Slaves in Greece, Rome, England, Scotland, and France--Free minds make Free Bodies--Causes of the Abolition of White Slavery in Europe--The French Revolution--The African Slave Trade, its Beginning and End--Liberty Triumphed (chapter head)--Abolition of Chattel Slavery--Conclusion.

WHAT IS RELIGION?

(1899.)

I. Belief in God and Sacrifice--Did an Infinite God Create the Children of Men and is he the Governor of the Universe?--II. If this God Exists, how do we Know he is Good?--Should both the Inferior and the Superior thank God for their Condition?--III. The Power that Works for Righteousness--What is this Power?--The Accumulated Experience of the World is a Power Working for Good?--Love the Commencement of the Higher Virtues--IV. What has our Religion Done?--Would Christians have been Worse had they Adopted another Faith?--V. How Can Mankind be Reformed Without Religion?--VI. The Four Corner-stones of my Theory--VII. Matter and Force Eternal--Links in the Chain of Evolution--VIII. Reform--The Gutter as a Nursery--Can we Prevent the Unfit from Filling the World with their Children?--Science must make Woman the Owner and Mistress of Herself--Morality Born of Intelligence--IX. Real Religion and Real Worship.

WHY I AM AN AGNOSTIC.

I.

FOR the most part we inherit our opinions. We are the heirs of habits and mental customs. Our beliefs, like the fashion of our garments, depend on where we were born. We are moulded and fashioned by our surroundings.

Environment is a sculptor--a painter.

If we had been born in Constantinople, the most of us would have said: "There is no God but Allah, and Mohammed is his prophet." If our parents had lived on the banks of the Ganges, we would have been worshipers of Siva, longing for the heaven of Nirvana.

As a rule, children love their parents, believe what they teach, and take great pride in saying that the religion of mother is good enough for them.

Most people love peace. They do not like to differ with their neighbors. They like company. They are social. They enjoy traveling on the highway with the multitude. They hate to walk alone.

The Scotch are Calvinists because their fathers were. The Irish are Catholics because their fathers were. The English are Episcopalians because their fathers were, and the Americans are divided in a hundred sects because their fathers were. This is the general rule, to which there are many exceptions. Children sometimes are superior to their parents, modify their ideas, change their customs, and arrive at different conclusions. But this is generally so gradual that the departure is scarcely noticed, and those who change usually insist that they are still following the fathers.

It is claimed by Christian historians that the religion of a nation was sometimes suddenly changed, and that millions of Pagans were made into Christians by the command of a king. Philosophers do not agree with these historians. Names have been changed, altars have been overthrown, but opinions, customs and beliefs remained the same. A Pagan, beneath the drawn sword of a Christian, would probably change his religious views, and a Christian, with a scimitar above his head, might suddenly become a Mohammedan, but as a matter of fact both would remain exactly as they were before--except in speech.

Belief is not subject to the will. Men think as they must. Children do not, and cannot, believe exactly as they were taught. They are not exactly like their parents. They differ in temperament, in experience, in capacity, in surroundings. And so there is a continual, though almost imperceptible change. There is development, conscious and unconscious growth, and by comparing long periods of time we find that the old has been almost abandoned, almost lost in the new. Men cannot remain stationary. The mind cannot be securely anchored. If we do not advance, we go backward. If we do not grow, we decay. If we do not develop, we shrink and shrivel.

Like the most of you, I was raised among people who knew--who were certain. They did not reason or investigate. They had no doubts. They knew that they had the truth. In their creed there was no guess--no perhaps. They had a revelation from God. They knew the beginning of things. They knew that God commenced to create one Monday morning, four thousand and four years before Christ. They knew that in the eternity--back of that morning, he had done nothing. They knew that it took him six days to make the earth--all plants, all animals, all life, and all the globes that wheel in space. They knew exactly what he did each day and when he rested. They knew the origin, the cause of evil, of all crime, of all disease and death.

They not only knew the beginning, but they knew the end. They knew that life had one path and one road. They knew that the path, grass-grown and narrow, filled with thorns and nettles, infested with vipers, wet with tears, stained by bleeding feet, led to heaven, and that the road, broad and smooth, bordered with fruits and flowers, filled with laughter and song and all the happiness of human love, led straight to hell. They knew that God was doing his best to make you take the path and that the Devil used every art to keep you in the road.

They knew that there was a perpetual battle waged between the great Powers of good and evil for the possession of human souls. They knew that many centuries ago God had left his throne and had been born a babe into this poor world--that he had suffered death for the sake of man--for the sake of saving a few. They also knew that the human heart was utterly depraved, so that man by nature was in love with wrong and hated God with all his might.

At the same time they knew that God created man in his own image and was perfectly satisfied with his work. They also knew that he had been thwarted by the Devil, who with wiles and lies had deceived the first of human kind. They knew that in consequence of that, God cursed the man and woman; the man with toil, the woman with slavery and pain, and both with death; and that he cursed the earth itself with briers and thorns, brambles and thistles. All these blessed things they knew. They knew too all that God had done to purify and elevate the race. They knew all about the Flood--knew that God, with the exception of eight, drowned all his children--the old and young--the bowed patriarch and the dimpled babe--the young man and the merry maiden--the loving mother and the laughing child--because his mercy endureth forever. They knew too, that he drowned the beasts and birds--everything that walked or crawled or flew--because his loving kindness is over all his works. They knew that God, for the purpose of civilizing his children, had devoured some with earthquakes, destroyed some with storms of fire, killed some with his lightnings, millions with famine, with pestilence, and sacrificed countless thousands upon the fields of war. They knew that it was necessary to believe these things and to love God. They knew that there could be no salvation except by faith, and through the atoning blood of Jesus Christ.

All who doubted or denied would be lost. To live a moral and honest life--to keep your contracts, to take care of wife and child--to make a happy home--to be a good citizen, a patriot, a just and thoughtful man, was simply a respectable way of going to hell.

God did not reward men for being honest, generous and brave, but for the act of faith. Without faith, all the so-called virtues were sins, and the men who practiced these virtues, without faith, deserved to suffer eternal pain.

All of these comforting and reasonable things were taught by the ministers in their pulpits--by teachers in Sunday schools and by parents at home. The children were victims. They were assaulted in the cradle--in their mother's arms. Then, the schoolmaster carried on the war against their natural sense, and all the books they read were filled with the same impossible truths. The poor children were helpless. The atmosphere they breathed was filled with lies--lies that mingled with their blood.

In those days ministers depended on revivals to save souls and reform the world.

In the winter, navigation having closed, business was mostly suspended. There were no railways and the only means of communication were wagons and boats. Generally the roads were so bad that the wagons were laid up with the boats. There were no operas, no theatres, no amusement except parties and balls. The parties were regarded as worldly and the balls as wicked. For real and virtuous enjoyment the good people depended on revivals.

The sermons were mostly about the pains and agonies of hell, the joys and ecstasies of heaven, salvation by faith, and the efficacy of the atonement. The little churches, in which the services were held, were generally small, badly ventilated, and exceedingly warm. The emotional sermons, the sad singing, the hysterical amens, the hope of heaven, the fear of hell, caused many to lose the little sense they had. They became substantially insane. In this condition they flocked to the "mourners bench"--asked for the prayers of the faithful--had strange feelings, prayed and wept and thought they had been "born again." Then they would tell their experience--how wicked they had been--how evil had been their thoughts, their desires, and how good they had suddenly become.

They used to tell the story of an old woman who, in telling her experience, said:--"Before I was converted, before I gave my heart to God, I used to lie and steal, but now, thanks to the grace and blood of Jesus Christ, I have quit 'em both, in a great measure."

Of course all the people were not exactly of one mind. There were some scoffers, and now and then some man had sense enough to laugh at the threats of priests and make a jest of hell. Some would tell of unbelievers who had lived and died in peace.

When I was a boy I heard them tell of an old farmer in Vermont. He was dying. The minister was at his bedside--asked him if he was a Christian --if he was prepared to die. The old man answered that he had made no preparation, that he was not a Christian--that he had never done anything but work. The preacher said that he could give him no hope unless he had faith in Christ, and that if he had no faith his soul would certainly be lost.

The old man was not frightened. He was perfectly calm. In a weak and broken voice he said: "Mr. Preacher, I suppose you noticed my farm. My wife and I came here more than fifty years ago. We were just married. It was a forest then and the land was covered with stones. I cut down the trees, burned the logs, picked up the stones and laid the walls. My wife spun and wove and worked every moment. We raised and educated our children--denied ourselves. During all these years my wife never had a good dress, or a decent bonnet. I never had a good suit of clothes. We lived on the plainest food. Our hands, our bodies are deformed by toil. We never had a vacation. We loved each other and the children. That is the only luxury we ever had. Now I am about to die and you ask me if I am prepared. Mr. Preacher, I have no fear of the future, no terror of any other world. There may be such a place as hell--but if there is, you never can make me believe that it's any worse than old Vermont."

So, they told of a man who compared himself with his dog. "My dog," he said, "just barks and plays--has all he wants to eat. He never works--has no trouble about business. In a little while he dies, and that is all. I work with all my strength. I have no time to play. I have trouble every day. In a little while I will die, and then I go to hell. I wish that I had been a dog."

Well, while the cold weather lasted, while the snows fell, the revival went on, but when the winter was over, when the steamboat's whistle was heard, when business started again, most of the converts "backslid" and fell again into their old ways. But the next winter they were on hand, ready to be "born again." They formed a kind of stock company, playing the same parts every winter and backsliding every spring.

The ministers, who preached at these revivals, were in earnest. They were zealous and sincere. They were not philosophers. To them science was the name of a vague dread--a dangerous enemy. They did not know much, but they believed a great deal. To them hell was a burning reality--they could see the smoke and flames. The Devil was no myth. He was an actual person, a rival of God, an enemy of mankind. They thought that the important business of this life was to save your soul--that all should resist and scorn the pleasures of sense, and keep their eyes steadily fixed on the golden gate of the New Jerusalem. They were unbalanced, emotional, hysterical, bigoted, hateful, loving, and insane. They really believed the Bible to be the actual word of God--a book without mistake or contradiction. They called its cruelties, justice--its absurdities, mysteries--its miracles, facts, and the idiotic passages were regarded as profoundly spiritual. They dwelt on the pangs, the regrets, the infinite agonies of the lost, and showed how easily they could be avoided, and how cheaply heaven could be obtained. They told their hearers to believe, to have faith, to give their hearts to God, their sins to Christ, who would bear their burdens and make their souls as white as snow.

All this the ministers really believed. They were absolutely certain. In their minds the Devil had tried in vain to sow the seeds of doubt.