SCENE II.

_A School-room._

_Enter a schoolmaster, draws the curtains behind, with_ BATTUS, NOUS, SLIP, NATHANIEL, _and_ HOLOFERNES PIPPO, _schoolboys, sitting, with books in their hands_.

_All._ _Salve, magister!_

_Ped._[454] _Salvete pueri, estote salvi, vos salvere exopto vobis salutem, Batte, mi fili, mi Batte!_

_Bat._ _Quid vis?_

_Ped._ Stand forth: repeat your lesson without book.

_Bat._ A noun is the name of a thing that may be seen, felt, heard, or understood.

_Ped._ Good boy: on, on.

_Bat._ Of nouns some be substantives and some be substantives. 10

_Ped._ Adjectives.

_Bat._ Adjectives. A noun substantive either is proper to the thing that it betokeneth--

_Ped._ Well, to numbers.

_Bat._ In nouns be two numbers, the singular and the plural: the singular number speaketh of one, as _lapis_, a stone; the plural speaketh of more than one, as _lapides_, stones.

_Ped._ Good child. Now thou art past _lapides_, stones, proceed to the cases. Nous, say you next, Nous. Where's your lesson, Nous? 21

_Nous._ I am in a verb, forsooth.

_Ped._ Say on, forsooth: say, say.

_Nous._ A verb is a part of speech declined with mood and tense, and betokeneth doing, as _amo_, I love.

_Ped._ How many kind of verbs are there?

_Nous._ Two; personal and impersonal.

_Ped._ Of verbs personals, how many kinds?

_Nous._ Five; active, passive, neuter, deponent, and common. A verb active endeth in _o_, and betokeneth to do, as _amo_, I love; and by putting to _r_, it may be a passive, as _amor_, I am loved. 32

_Ped._ Very good, child. Now learn to know the deponent and common. Say you, Slip.

_Slip._ _Cedant_[455] _arma togæ, concedat laurea linguæ._

_Ped._ What part of speech is _lingua_: _inflecte, inflecte_.

_Slip._ _Singulariter, nominativo hæc lingua._

_Ped._ Why is _lingua_ the feminine gender?

_Slip._ Forsooth because it is the feminine gender. 39

_Ped._ Ha, thou ass! thou dolt! _idem per idem_, mark it: _lingua_ is declined with _hæc_, the feminine, because it is a household stuff, particularly belonging and most commonly resident under the roof of women's mouths. Come on, you Nathaniel, say you, say you next; not too fast; say tretably:[456] say.

_Nath._ _Mascula dicuntur monosyllaba nomina quædam._

_Ped._ Faster! faster!

_Nath._ _Ut sal, sol, ren et splen: car, ser, vir, vas, vadis, as, mas, Bes, cres, pres et pes, glis, glirens [sic] habens genetivo, Mos, flos, ros et tros, muns [sic], dens, mons, pons--_ 50

_Ped._ _Rup, tup, snup, slup, bor, hor, cor, mor._ Holla! holla! holla! you Holofernes Pippo, put him down. Wipe your nose: fie, on your sleeve! where's your muckender[457] your grandmother gave you? Well, say on; say on.

_Hol._ Pree,[458] master, what word's this?

_Ped._ _Ass! ass!_

_Hol._ _As in presenti perfectum format in, in, in_--

_Ped._ In what, sir?

_Hol._ _Perfectum format._ In what, sir? 60

_Ped._ In what, sir?--_in avi_.

_Hol._ In what, sir?--_in avi. Ut no, nas, navi, vocito, vocitas, voci, voci, voci_--

_Ped._ What's next?

_Hol._ _Voci_--what's next?

_Ped._ Why, thou ungracious child! thou simple animal! thou barnacle! Nous,--snare him; take him up: and you were my father, you should up. 68

_Hol._ Indeed I am not your father. O Lord! now, for God sake, let me go out. My mother told a thing: I shall bewray[459] all else. Hark, you, master: my grandmother entreats you to come to dinner to-morrow morning.

_Ped._ I say, untruss--take him up. Nous, despatch! what, not perfect in an _as in presenti_?

_Hol._ In truth I'll be as perfect an _as in presenti_ as any of this company, with the grace of God, law: this once--this once--and I do so any more----

_Ped._ I say, hold him up! 79

_Hol._ Ha, let me say my prayers first. You know not what you ha' done now; all the syrup of my brain is run into my buttocks, and ye spill the juice of my wit well. Ha, sweet! ha, sweet! honey, Barbary sugar,[460] sweet master.

_Ped._ Sans tricks, trifles, delays, demurrers, procrastinations, or retardations, mount him, mount him.

_Enter_ QUADRATUS, LAMPATHO, LAVERDURE, _and_ SIMPLICIUS.

_Qua._ Be merciful, my gentle signior.

_Lav._ We'll sue his pardon out.

_Ped._ He is reprieved: and now, Apollo bless your brains; facundius, and elaborate elegance make your presence gracious in the eyes of your mistress. 91

_Lav._ You must along with us; lend private ear.

_Sim._ What is your name?

_Hol._ Holofernes Pippo.

_Sim._ Who gave you that name? Nay, let me alone for sposing [_sic_] of a scholar.

_Hol._ My godfathers and godmothers in my baptism.

_Sim._ Truly, gallants, I am enamoured on thee, boy; wilt thou serve me?

_Hol._ Yes, and please my grandmother, when I come to years of discretion. 101

_Ped._ And you have a propensitude to him, he shall be for you. I was solicited to grant him leave to play the lady in comedies presented by children; but I knew his voice was too small,[461] and his stature too low. Sing, sing a treble, Holofernes: sing.

_The Song._

A very small sweet voice, I'll assure you.

_Qua._ 'Tis smally sweet indeed.

_Sim._ A very pretty child. Hold up thy head. There; buy thee some plums. 110

_Qua._ Nay, they must play; you go along with us.

_Ped._ _Ludendi venia est petita et concessa._

_All._ _Gratias._

_Sim._ Pippo's my page. How like you him? Ha! has he not a good face, ha?

_Lav._ Exceedingly amiable. Come away; I long to see my love, my Celia.

_Sim._ Carry my rapier; hold up so; good child: stay, gallants. Umph! a sweet face.

[_Exeunt_[462] _all but_ LAMPATHO _and_ QUADRATUS.

_Lam._ I relish not this mirth; my spirit is untwist; My heart is ravell'd out in discontents. 121 I am deep-thoughtful, and I shoot my soul Through all creation of omnipotence.

_Qua._ What, art melancholy, Lamp? I'll feed thy humour: I'll give thee reason strait to hang thyself. Mark't, mark't: in Heaven's handiwork there's naught-- Believe it.

_Lam._ In Heaven's handiwork there's naught, None more vile, accursed, reprobate to bliss, Than man; and[463] 'mong men a scholar most. 130 Things only fleshly sensitive, an ox or horse, They live and eat, and sleep, and drink, and die, And are not touched with recollections Of things o'er-past, or stagger'd infant doubts Of things succeeding; but leave the manly beasts, And give but pence apiece to have a sight Of beastly man now----

_Sim._ [_from within_]. What so, Lampatho! Good truth, I will not pay your ordinary if you come not.

_Lam._ Dost thou hear that voice? I'll make a parrot now 140 As good a man as he in fourteen nights. I never heard him vent a syllable Of his own creating since I knew the use Of eyes and ears. Well, he's perfect blest, Because a perfect beast. I'll gage my heart He knows no difference essential 'Twixt my dog and him. The whoreson sot is blest, Is rich in ignorance, makes fair usance on't, And every day augments his barbarism. So love me calmness, I do envy him for't. 150 I was a scholar: seven useful springs Did I deflower in quotations Of cross'd opinions 'bout the soul of man. The more I learnt the more I learnt to doubt: Knowledge and wit, faith's foes, turn faith about.

_Sim._ [_from within_]. Nay, come, good signior. I stay all the gentlemen here. I would fain give my pretty page a pudding-pie.

_Lam._ Honest epicure.--Nay, mark, list. Delight, Delight, my spaniel slept, whilst I baus'd leaves, 160 Toss'd o'er the dunces, pored on the old print Of titled words, and still my spaniel slept. Whilst I wasted lamp-oil, bated my flesh, Shrunk up my veins; and still my spaniel slept. And still I held converse with Zabarell,[464] Aquinas, Scotus, and the musty saw Of antic Donate; still my spaniel slept Still went on went I; first _an sit anima_, Then, and it were mortal. O hold, hold! at that They're at brain-buffets, fell by the ears amain 170 Pell-mell together; still my spaniel slept. Then whether 'twere corporeal, local, fix'd, Extraduce; but whether 't had free will Or no, ho philosophers Stood banding factions all so strongly propp'd, I stagger'd, knew not which was firmer part; But thought, quoted,[465] read, observ'd, and pried, Stuff'd noting-books; and still my spaniel slept. At length he waked and yawn'd and by yon sky, For aught I know he knew as much as I. 180

_Sim._ [_from within_]. Delicate good Lampatho, come away. I assure you I'll give but twopence more.

_Lam._ How 'twas created, how the soul exists: One talks of motes, the soul was made of motes; Another fire, t'other light, a third A spark of star-like nature; Hippo water, Anaximenes air, Aristoxenus music; Critias, I know not what. A company of odd phrenetici! Did eat my youth; and when I crept abroad, 190 Finding my numbness in this nimble age, I fell a-railing; but now, soft and slow, I know I know naught but I naught do know. What shall I do--what plot, what course pursue?

_Qua._ Why, turn a temporist, row with the tide, Pursue the cut, the fashion of the age. Well, here's my scholar's course: first get a school, And then a ten-pound cure; keep both. Then buy (Stay, marry, ay, marry) then a farm, or so: Serve God and mammon--to the devil go. 200 Affect some sect--ay, 'tis the sect is it, So thou canst seem, 'tis held the precious wit. And O, if thou canst get some higher seat, Where thou mayest sell your holy portion (Which charitable Providence ordained, In sacred bounty, for a blessèd use), Alien the glebe, entail it to thy loins, Entomb it in thy grave, Past resurrection to his native use! Now, if there be a hell, and such swine saved, Heaven take all--that's all my hopes have craved. 210

_Enter_ PIPPO.

_Pip._ My Simplicias master--

_Lam._ Your master Simplicius.

_Pip._ Has come to you to sent--

_Lam._ Has sent to me to come.

_Pip._ Ha! ha! has bought me a fine dagger, and a hat and a feather! I can say _As in presenti_ now!

_Company of Boys within._ Quadratus, Quadratus, away! away!

_Quad._[466] We come, sweet gallants; and grumbling hate lie still, And turn fantastic! He that climbs a hill 220 Must wheel about; the ladder to account Is sly dissemblance: he that means to mount Must lie all level in the prospective Of eager-sighted greatness. Thou wouldst thrive: The Venice state is young, loose, and unknit, Can relish naught but luscious vanities. Go, fit his tooth. O glavering flattery! How potent art thou! Front, look brisk and sleek.-- That such base dirt as you should dare to reek In princes' nostrils!--Well, my scene is long. 230

_All within._ Quadratus!

_Qua._ I come, hot bloods. Those that their state would swell, Must bear a counter-face. The devil and hell Confound them all! That's all my prayers exact: So ends our chat;--sound music for the act!

[_Exeunt._

[454] _i.e._, _Pedant_.--See p. 373. [Transcriber's Note: Act III, Scene ii, line 100]

[455] Cicero, _Off._ i. 22, 77.

[456] Chaucer has _tretable_ in the sense of _tractable_, _well-disposed_; but that sense does not suit the present passage.

[457] Handkerchief.

[458] Shortened form of "prithee."

[459] See note, vol. i. p. 114.

[460] Dilke refers to Fletcher's _Beggars' Bush_, iv. 3:-- "_Fourth Merchant._ Or if you want fine sugar, 'tis but sending. _Goswin._ No, I can send to _Barbary_."

[461] "She has brown hair, and speaks _small_ like a woman."--_Merry Wives_, i. 1.

[462] Not marked in old eds.

[463] Omitted in ed. 2.

[464] Giacomo Zabarella (1533-1589), the Aristotelian commentator, professor of logic and philosophy at Padua.

[465] Made notes.

[466] Old eds. give this speech to Lampatho.