SCENE II.

_A Brothel._

_Enter_ COCLEDEMOY _and_ MARY FAUGH.

_Coc._ Mary, Mary Faugh.

_Mar._ Hem.[15]

_Coc._ Come, my worshipful rotten rough-bellied bawd! ha! my blue-tooth'd patroness of natural wickedness, give me the goblets.

_Mar._ By yea and by nay, Master Cocledemoy, I fear you'll play the knave, and restore them.

_Coc._ No, by the lord, aunt,[16] restitution is catholic, and thou know'st we love----

_Mar._ What? 10

_Coc._ Oracles are ceased: _tempus præteritum_, doest hear, my worshipful glysterpipe, thou ungodly fire that burnt Diana's temple?--doest hear, bawd?

_Mar._ In very good truthness, you are the foulest-mouth'd, profane, railing brother, call a woman the most ungodly names: I must confess, we all eat of the forbidden fruit, and for mine own part, though I am one of the family of love, and, as they say, a bawd that covers the multitude of sins, yet I trust I am none of the wicked that eat fish o' Fridays. 20

_Coc._ Hang toasts! I rail at thee, my worshipful organ-bellows that fills the pipes, my fine rattling fleamy cough o' the lungs, and cold with a pox? I rail at thee? what, my right precious pandress, supportress of barber-surgeons, and enhanceress[17] of lotium[18] and diet-drink?[19] I rail at thee, necessary damnation? I'll make an oration, I, in praise of thy most courtly in-fashion and most pleasureable function, I.

_Mar._ Ay, prithee do, I love to hear myself praised, as well as any old lady, I. 30

_Coc._ List then:--a bawd; first for her profession or vocation, it is most worshipful of all the twelve companies; for, as that trade is most honourable that sells the best commodities--as the draper is more worshipful than the pointmaker, the silkman more worshipful than the draper, and the goldsmith more honourable than both, little Mary, so the bawd above all: her shop has the best ware; for where these sell but cloth, satins, and jewels, she sells divine virtues, as virginity, modesty, and such rare gems; and those not like a petty chapman, by retail, but like a great merchant, by wholesale; wa, ha, ho! And who are her customers? Not base corn-cutters or sowgelders, but most rare wealthy knights, and most rare bountiful lords, are her customers. Again, whereas no trade or vocation profiteth but by the loss and displeasure of another--as the merchant thrives not but by the licentiousness of giddy[20] and unsettled youth; the lawyer, but by the vexation of his client; the physician, but by the maladies of his patient--only my smooth-gumm'd bawd lives by others' pleasure, and only grows rich by others' rising. O merciful gain, O righteous in-come! So much for her vocation, trade, and life. As for their death, how can it be bad, since their wickedness is always before their eyes, and a death's[21] head most commonly on their middle-finger? To conclude, 'tis most certain they must needs both live well and die well, since most commonly they live in Clerkenwell,[22] and die in Bride-well. _Dixi, Mary._ 158

_Enter_ FREEVILL _and_ MALHEUREUX.

_Free._ Come along, yonder's the preface or exordium to my wench, the bawd. Fetch, fetch! What! Mr. Cocledemoy, is your knaveship yet stirring? Look to it, Mulligrub lies[23] for you.

_Enter_ COCLEDEMOY.

_Coc._ The more fool he; I can lie for myself, worshipful friend. Hang toasts! I vanish. Ha! my fine boy, thou art a scholar, and hast read Tully's _Offices_, my fine knave. Hang toasts!

_Free._ The vintner will toast you, and he catch you.

_Coc._ I will draw the vintner to the stoop, and when he runs low, tilt him. Ha! my fine knave, art going to thy recreation? 170

_Free._ Yes, my capricious rascal.

_Coc._ Thou wilt look like a fool then, by and by.

_Free._ Look like a fool, why?

_Coc._ Why, according to the old saying: a beggar when he is lousing of himself, looks like a philosopher; a hard-bound philosopher, when he is on the stool, looks like a tyrant; and a wise man, when he is in his belly act, looks like a fool. God give your worship good rest! grace and mercy keep your syringe straight, and your lotium unspilt. 180

_Enter_ FRANCESCHINA.

_Free._ See, sir, this is she.

_Mal._ This?

_Free._ This.

_Mal._ A courtezan?--Now, cold blood defend me! What a propension[24] afflicts me!

_Fran._ O, mine aderliver[25] love, vat sall me do to requit dis your mush affection?

_Free._ Marry, salute my friend, clip his neck, and kiss him welcome.

_Fran._ A' mine art, sir, you bin very velcome. 190

_Free._ Kiss her, man, with a more familiar affection, so. Come, what entertainment? go to your lute.

[_Exit_ FRANCESCHINA.

And how dost approve my sometimes elected? She's none of your ramping cannibals that devour man's flesh, nor any of your Curtian gulfs that will never be satisfied until the best thing a man has be thrown into them. I loved her with my heart, until my soul showed me the imperfection of my body, and placed my affection on a lawful love, my modest Beatrice, which if this shortheels knew, there were no being for me with eyes before her face. But, faith, dost thou not somewhat excuse my sometimes incontinency, with her enforcive beauties? Speak. 203

_Mal._ Hah! she is a whore, is she not?

_Free._ Whore? fie, whore! you may call her a courtezan, a cockatrice,[26] or (as that worthy spirit of an eternal happiness said) a suppository. But whore! fie, 'tis not in fashion to call things by their right names. Is a great merchant a cuckold, you must say he is one of the livery. Is a great lord a fool, you must say he is weak. Is a gallant pocky, you must say he has the court scab. Come, she's your mistress or so. 212

_Enter_ FRANCESCHINA, _with her lute_.

Come, siren, your voice.

_Fra._ Vill not you stay in mine bosom to-night, love?

_Free._ By no means, sweet breast; this gentleman has vow'd to see me chastely laid.

_Fra._ He shall have a bed too, if dat it please him.

_Free._ Peace, you tender him offence; he is one of a professed abstinence. Siren, your voice and away.

_She sings to her Lute._

THE SONG.

_The dark is my delight, 220 So 'tis the nightingale's; My music's in the night, So is the nightingale's; My body is but little, So is the nightingale's; I love to sleep 'gainst prickle, So doth the nightingale._

Thanks; buss; so. The night grows old; good rest.

_Fra._ Rest to mine dear love; rest, and no long absence. 230

_Free._ Believe me, not long.

_Fra._ Sall ick not believe you long?

[_Exit_ FRANCESCHINA.

_Free._ O yes, come, _via!_[27]--away, boy--on!

[_Exit, his Page lighting him._

_Re-enter_ FREEVILL, _and seems to overhear_ MALHEUREUX.

_Mal._ Is she unchaste--can such a one be damn'd? O love and beauty! ye two eldest seeds Of the vast chaos, what strong right you have Even in things divine--our very souls!

_Free._ [_aside._] Wha, ha, ho! come, bird, come. Stand, peace!

_Mal._ Are strumpets then such things so delicate? Can custom spoil what nature made so good? 240 Or is their custom bad? Beauty's for use-- I never saw a sweet face vicious! It might be proud, inconstant, wanton, nice, But never tainted with unnatural vice. Their worst is, their best art is love to win-- O that to love should be or shame, or sin!

_Free._ [_aside._] By the Lord! he's caught! Laughter eternal!

_Mal._ Soul, I must love her! Destiny is weak To my affection.--A common love!-- Blush not, faint breast! 250 That which is ever loved of most is best. Let colder eld the strong'st objections move, No love's without some lust, no life without some love.

_Free._ Nay, come on, good sir; what, though the most odious spectacle the world can present be an immodest vulgar woman? yet, sir, for my sake----

_Mal._ Well, sir, for your sake, I'll think better of them.

_Free._ Do, good sir; and pardon me that have brought you in: You know the sight of vice augments the hate of sin.

_Mal._ Hah! will you go home, sir; 'tis high bedtime? 260

_Free._ With all my heart, sir; only do not chide me. I must confess----

_Mal._ A wanton lover you have been.

_Free._ O that to love should be or shame or sin!

_Mal._ Say ye?

_Free._ Let colder eld the strongest objections move!

_Mal._ How's this?

_Free._ No love's without some lust, no life without some love. Go your ways for an apostata! I believe my cast garment must be let out in the seams for you when all is done. 270 Of all the fools that would all man out-thrust, He that 'gainst Nature would seem wise is worst.

[_Exeunt._

[15] Cf. Middleton, iv. 246.

[16] Cant term for a bawd.

[17] "_Encherisseur._ A high bidder or out-bidder of others; a raiser or _enhancer_ of the price of things," &c.--_Cotgrave._

[18] Old eds. "lotinus."

[19] "Diet-drink"--medicine prescribed for a patient who was _taking diet_ (_i.e._, being treated for the pox).

[20] Ed. 2. "giddy youth, and unsetled."

[21] It appears from many passages in old writers that bawds were accustomed to wear rings with death's heads on them. Cf. Dekker and Webster's _Northward Ho_, iv. 1:--"And as if I were a bawd no ring pleases me but a death's head."

[22] Turnmill Street, the headquarters of Elizabethan whores, was situated in Clerkenwell.

[23] _i.e._, is in ambush.

[24] Old eds. "proportion."

[25] A corruption of Dutch "alderliefster."

[26] A term for a courtezan; particularly applied to a captain's mistress.

[27] "Via"--away, on!