SCENE II.

_Before the Citadel._

_Enter, from opposite sides_, MALEVOLE _and_ MAQUERELLE, _singing_.

_Mal. The Dutchman for a drunkard_,--

_Maq. The Dane for golden locks_,--

_Mal. The Irishman for usquebaugh_,--

_Maq. The Frenchman for the_ (----).

_Mal._ O, thou art a blessed creature! had I a modest woman to conceal, I would put her to thy custody; for no reasonable creature would ever suspect her to be in thy company: ah, thou art a melodious Maquerelle,--thou picture of a woman, and substance of a beast!

_Enter_ PASSARELLO _with wine._

_Maq._ O fool,[531] will ye be ready anon to go with me to the revels? the hall will be so pestered anon. 11

_Pass._ Ay, as the country is with attorneys.

_Mal._ What hast thou there, fool?

_Pass._ Wine; I have learned to drink since I went with my lord ambassador: I'll drink to the health of Madam Maquerelle.

_Mal._ Why, thou wast wont to rail upon her.

_Pass._ Ay; but since I borrowed money of her, I'll drink to her health now; as gentlemen visit brokers, or as knights send venison to the city, either to take up more money, or to procure longer forbearance. 21

_Mal._ Give me the bowl. I drink a health to Altofront, our deposed duke. [_Drinks._

_Pas._ I'll take it [_Drinks_]:--so. Now I'll begin a health to Madam Maquerelle. [_Drinks._

_Mal._ Pooh! I will not pledge her.

_Pass._ Why, I pledged your lord.

_Mal._ I care not.

_Pass._ Not pledge Madam Maquerelle! why, then, will I spew up your lord again with this fool's finger. 30

_Mal._ Hold; I'll take it. [_Drinks._

_Maq._ Now thou hast drunk my health, fool, I am friends with thee.

_Pass._ Art? art? When Griffon[532] saw the reconcilèd quean Offering about his neck her arms to cast, He threw off sword and heart's malignant spleen, And lovely her below the loins embrac'd.-- Adieu, Madam Maquerelle. [_Exit._

_Mal._ And how dost thou think o' this transformation of state now? 41

_Maq._ Verily, very well; for we women always note, the falling of the one is the rising of the other; some must be fat, some must be lean; some must be fools, and some must be lords; some must be knaves, and some must be officers; some must be beggars, some must be knights; some must be cuckolds, and some must be citizens. As for example, I have two court-dogs, the most fawning curs, the one called Watch, the other Catch: now I, like Lady Fortune, sometimes love this dog, sometimes raise that dog, sometimes favour Watch, most commonly fancy Catch. Now, that dog which I favour I feed; and he's so ravenous, that what I give he never chaws it, gulps it down whole, without any relish of what he has, but with a greedy expectation of what he shall have. The other dog now---- 56

_Mal._ No more dog, sweet Maquerelle, no more dog. And what hope hast thou of the Duchess Maria? will she stoop to the duke's lure? will she come,[533] thinkest?

_Maq._ Let me see, where's the sign now? ha' ye e'er a calendar? where's the sign, trow you? 61

_Mal._ Sign! why, is there any moment in that?

_Maq._ O, believe me, a most secret power: look ye, a Chaldean or an Assyrian, I am sure 'twas a most sweet Jew, told me, court any woman in the right sign, you shall not miss. But you must take her in the right vein then; as, when the sign is in Pisces, a fishmonger's wife is very sociable; in Cancer, a precisian's wife is very flexible; in Capricorn, a merchant's wife hardly holds out; in Libra, a lawyer's wife is very tractable, especially if her husband be at the term; only in Scorpio 'tis very dangerous meddling. Has the duke sent any jewel, any rich stones? 73

_Mal._ Ay, I think those are the best signs to take a lady in.

_Enter_ Captain.

By your favour, signior, I must discourse with the Lady Maria, Altofront's duchess; I must enter for the duke.

_Capt._ She here shall give you interview: I received the guardship of this citadel from the good Altofront, and for his use I'll keep't, till I am of no use. 80

_Mal._ Wilt thou? O heavens, that a Christian should be found in a buff-jerkin! Captain Conscience, I love thee, captain. We attend.

[_Exit_ Captain.

And what hope hast thou of this duchess' easiness?

_Maq._ 'Twill go hard, she was a cold creature ever; she hated monkeys, fools, jesters, and gentlemen-ushers extremely; she had the vile trick on't, not only to be truly modestly honourable in her own conscience, but she would avoid the least wanton carriage that might incur suspect; as, God bless me, she had almost brought bed-pressing out of fashion; I could scarce get a fine for the lease of a lady's favour once in a fortnight. 92

_Mal._ Now, in the name of immodesty, how many maidenheads has thou brought to the block?

_Maq._ Let me see: heaven forgive us our misdeeds!--Here's the duchess.

_Enter_ MARIA _with_ Captain.

_Mal._ God bless thee, lady!

_Maria._ Out of thy company!

_Mal._ We have brought thee tender of a husband.

_Maria._ I hope I have one already. 100

_Maq._ Nay, by mine honour, madam, as good ha' ne'er a husband as a banished husband; he's in another world now. I'll tell ye, lady, I have heard of a sect that maintained, when the husband was asleep the wife might lawfully entertain another man, for then her husband was as dead; much more when he is banished.

_Maria._ Unhonest creature!

_Maq._ Pish, honesty is but an art to seem so: Pray ye, what's honesty, what's constancy, But fables feign'd, odd old fools' chat, devis'd 110 By jealous fools to wrong our liberty?

_Mal._ Molly, he that loves thee is a duke, Mendoza; he will maintain thee royally, love thee ardently, defend thee powerfully, marry thee sumptuously, and keep thee, in despite of Rosicleer or Donzel del Phebo.[534] There's jewels: if thou wilt, so; if not, so.

_Maria._ Captain, for God's love,[535] save poor wretchedness From tyranny of lustful insolence! Enforce me in the deepest dungeon dwell, Rather than here; here round about is hell.-- 120 O my dear'st Altofront! where'er thou breathe, Let my soul sink into the shades beneath, Before I stain thine honour! 'tis[536] thou has't, And long as I can die, I will live chaste.

_Mal._ 'Gainst him that can enforce how vain is strife!

_Maria._ She that can be enforc'd has ne'er a knife: She that through force her limbs with lust enrolls, Wants Cleopatra's asps and Portia's coals. God amend you! 129

[_Exit with_ Captain.

_Mal._ Now, the fear of the devil for ever go with thee!--Maquerelle, I tell thee, I have found an honest woman: faith, I perceive, when all is done, there is of women, as of all other things, some good, most bad; some saints, some sinners: for as nowadays no courtier but has his mistress, no captain but has his cockatrice,[537] no cuckold but has his horns, and no fool but has his feather; even so, no woman but has her weakness and feather too, no sex but has his--I can hunt the letter no farther.--[_Aside_] O God, how loathsome this toying is to me! that a duke should be forced to fool it! well, _stultorum plena sunt omnia_:[538] better play the fool lord than be the fool lord.--Now, where's your sleights, Madam Maquerelle? 143

_Maq._ Why, are ye ignorant that 'tis said a squeamish affected niceness is natural to women, and that the excuse of their yielding is only, forsooth, the difficult obtaining? You must put her to't: women are flax, and will fire in a moment.

_Mal._ Why, was the flax put into thy mouth, and yet thou--Thou set fire, thou inflame her! 150

_Maq._ Marry, but I'll tell ye now, you were too hot.

_Mal._ The fitter to have inflamed the flax, woman.

_Maq._ You were too boisterous, spleeny, for, indeed----

_Mal._ Go, go, thou art a weak pandress: now I see,

Sooner earth's fire heaven itself shall waste, Than all with heat can melt a mind that's chaste.

Go: thou the duke's lime-twig! I'll make the duke turn thee out of thine office: what, not get one touch of hope, and had her at such advantage! 160

Maq. Now, o' my conscience, now I think in my discretion, we did not take her in the right sign; the blood was not in the true vein, sure.

[_Exit._

_Enter_ BILIOSO.

_Bil._ Make way[539] there! the duke returns from the enthronement.--Malevole,--

_Mal._ Out, rogue!

_Bil._ Malevole,--

_Mal._ Hence, ye gross-jawed, peasantly--out, go![540] 168

_Bil._ Nay, sweet Malevole, since my return I hear you are become the thing I always prophesied would be,--an advanced virtue, a worthily-employed faithfulness, a man o' grace, dear friend. Come; what! _Si quoties peccant homines_[541]--if as often as courtiers play the knaves, honest men should be angry--why, look ye, we must collogue[542] sometimes, forswear sometimes.

_Mal._ Be damned sometimes.

_Bil._ Right: _nemo omnibus horis sapit_; no man can be honest at all hours: necessity often depraves virtue.

_Mal._ I will commend thee to the duke.

_Bil._ Do: let us be friends, man. 180

_Mal._ And knaves, man.

_Bil._ Right: let us prosper and purchase:[543] our lordships shall live, and our knavery be forgotten.

_Mal._ He that by any ways gets riches, his means never shames him.

_Bil._ True.

_Mal._ For impudency and faithlessness are the main stays to greatness.

_Bil._ By the Lord, thou art a profound lad.

_Mal._ By the Lord, thou art a perfect knave: out, ye ancient damnation! 191

_Bil._ Peace, peace! and thou wilt not be a friend to me as I am a knave, be not a knave to me as I am thy friend, and disclose me. Peace! cornets!

_Enter_ PREPASSO and FERRARDO, _two_ Pages _with lights_, CELSO _and_ EQUATO, MENDOZA _in duke's robes, and_ GUERRINO.

_Men._ On, on; leave us, leave us.

[_Exeunt all except_ MALEVOLE _and_ MENDOZA.

Stay, where is the hermit?

_Mal._ With Duke Pietro, with Duke Pietro.

_Men._ Is he dead? is he poisoned?

_Mal._ Dead, as the duke is.

_Men._ Good, excellent: he will not blab; secureness lives in secrecy. Come hither, come hither. 201

_Mal._ Thou hast a certain strong villainous scent about thee my nature cannot endure.

_Men._ Scent, man! What returns Maria, what answer to our suit?

_Mal._ Cold, frosty; she is obstinate.

_Men._ Then she's but dead; 'tis resolute, she dies: Black deed only through black deed[544] safely flies.

_Mal._ Pooh! _per scelera semper sceleribus tutum est iter_.[545]

_Men._ What, art a scholar? art a politician? sure, thou art an arrant knave. 211

_Mal._ Who, I? I ha' been twice an under-sheriff, man.[546] Well, I will go rail upon some great man, that I may purchase the bastinado, or else go marry some rich Genoan lady, and instantly go travel.

_Men._ Travel, when thou art married?

_Mal._ Ay, 'tis your young lord's fashion to do so, though he was so lazy, being a bachelor, that he would never travel so far as the university: yet when he married her, tales off, and, Catso,[547] for England! 220

_Men._ And why for England?

_Mal._ Because there is no brothel-houses there.

_Men._ Nor courtezans?

_Mal._ Neither; your whore went down with the stews, and your punk came up with your puritan.

_Men._ Canst thou empoison? canst thou empoison?

_Mal._ Excellently; no Jew, pothecary, or politician better. Look ye, here's a box: whom wouldst thou empoison? here's a box [_Giving it_], which, opened and the fume ta'en[548] up in conduits[549] thorough which the brain purges itself, doth instantly for twelve hours' space bind up all show of life in a deep senseless sleep: here's another [_Giving it_], which, being opened under the sleeper's nose, chokes all the pores[550] of life, kills him suddenly. 235

_Men._ I'll try experiments; 'tis good not to be deceived.--So, so; catso! [_Seems to poison_ MALEVOLE,_ who falls._ Who would fear that may destroy? Death hath no teeth nor[551] tongue; And he that's great, to him are slaves, 240 Shame, murder, fame, and wrong.-- Celso!

_Enter_ CELSO.

_Celso._ My honour'd lord?

_Men._ The good Malevole, that plain-tongu'd man, Alas, is dead on sudden, wondrous strangely! He held in our esteem good place. Celso, See him buried, see him buried.

_Celso._ I shall observe ye.

_Men._ And, Celso, prithee, let it be thy care to-night To have some pretty show, to solemnise Our high instalment; some music, maskery. 250 We'll give fair entertain unto Maria, The duchess to the banish'd Altofront: Thou shalt conduct her from the citadel Unto the palace. Think on some maskery.

_Celso._ Of what shape, sweet lord?

_Men._ What[552] shape! why, any quick-done fiction; As some brave spirits of the Genoan dukes, To come out of Elysium, forsooth, Led in by Mercury, to gratulate Our happy fortune; some such anything, 260 Some far-fet[553] trick good for ladies, some stale toy Or other, no matter, so't be of our devising. Do thou prepare't; 'tis but for fashion[554] sake; Fear not, it shall be grac'd, man, it shall take.

_Celso._ All service.

_Men._ All thanks; our hand shall not be close to thee: farewell. [_Aside._] Now is my treachery secure, nor can we fall: Mischief that prospers, men do virtue call. I'll trust no man: he that by tricks gets wreaths Keeps them with steel; no man securely breathes 270 Out of deservèd[555] ranks; the crowd will mutter, "fool:" Who cannot bear with spite, he cannot rule. The chiefest secret for a man of state Is, to live senseless of a strengthless hate.

[_Exit._

_Mal._ [_starting up_] Death of the damned thief! I'll make one i' the mask; thou shalt ha' some brave spirits of the antique dukes.

_Cel._ My lord, what strange delusion?

_Mal._ Most happy, dear Celso, poisoned with an empty box: I'll give thee all, anon: my lady comes to court; there is a whirl of fate comes tumbling on; the castle's captain stands for me, the people pray for me, and the great leader of the just stands for me: then courage, Celso; 284 For no disastrous chance can ever move him That leaveth nothing but a God above him.

[_Exeunt._

[531] "O fool.... Adieu, Madam Maquerelle" (ll. 10-39).--This passage was added in ed. 2.

[532] "_Griffon_ is one of the heroes of _Orlando Furioso_, from whence one might suspect these lines to be taken. I do not, however, find them there."--_Reed._ For "spleen" in l. 37 all the editions give "stream."

[533] _i.e._, yield.--Ed. 2. "cowe."

[534] Rosicleer and Donzel del Phebo were heroes in the romance of _The Mirrour of Knighthood_. See note 3, p. 30.

[535] Ed. 2. "sake."

[536] Ed. 2. "this."

[537] The term _cockatrice_ seems to have been specially applied to a captain's mistress, though it is also found as a general name for a courtesan.

[538] Cicero, _Epist. ad Fam._ ix. 22.

[539] "Make way there.... Peace! cornets!" (ll. 164-194).--This passage was added in ed. 2.

[540] These are the words that Bilioso had used to Malevole, ii. 2. l. 64.

[541] Ovid's _Tristia_, ii. 33.

[542] Cog, wheedle.--"Sadayer. To handle gently or stroke softly; also to flatter, smooth, cog, or _collogue with_."--_Cotgrave._ The word also means--confer for an unlawful purpose.

[543] Acquire wealth.--_Purchase_ was a cant term for stolen goods, but it was also used in the general sense of riches.

[544] Ed. 1. "deedes."

[545] Seneca, _Agam._ 115.

[546] Ed. 2. continues thus:-- "_Enter_ MALEVOLE _and_ MENDOZA. _Mend._ Hast bin with Maria? _Mal._ As your scriuener to your vsurer I haue delt about taking of this commoditie, but she's could-frosty. Well, I will go raile, &c." Perhaps the scene was intended to begin here and the preceding speeches were not properly cancelled.--Ed. 1. omits a few speeches and proceeds as in l. 226:-- "_Men._ Canst thou empoison?" &c.

[547] An obscene expression (_Ital._)

[548] Ed. 2. "taken up."

[549] Some copies of ed. 2. "cõmodites."--The compositor was thinking of the common expression _take up commodities_.

[550] Ed. 2. "power."

[551] Ed. 2. "or."

[552] Old eds. "Why."

[553] An allusion to the proverb _Far fet and dear bought is good for ladies_.

[554] Ed. 2. and some copies of ed. 1. "a fashion."