SCENE I.[528

_A room in the Palace._

_Enter_ BILIOSO _and_ PASSARELLO.

_Bil._ Fool, how dost thou like my calf in a long stocking?

_Pass._ An excellent calf, my lord.

_Bil._ This calf hath been a reveller this twenty year. When Monsieur Gundi lay here ambassador, I could have carried a lady up and down at arm's end in a platter; and I can tell you, there were those at that time who, to try the strength of a man's back and his arm, would be coistered.[529] I have measured calves with most of the palace, and they come nothing near me; besides, I think there be not many armours in the arsenal will fit me, especially for the headpiece. I'll tell thee-- 12

_Pass._ What, my lord?

_Bil._ I can eat stewed broth as it comes seething off the fire; or a custard as it comes reeking out of the oven; and I think there are not many lords can do it. A good pomander,[530] a little decayed in the scent; but six grains of musk, ground with rose-water, and tempered with a little civet, shall fetch her again presently.

_Pass._ O, ay, as a bawd with aqua-vitæ. 20

_Bil._ And, what, dost thou rail upon the ladies as thou wert wont?

_Pass._ I were better roast a live cat, and might do it with more safety. I am as secret to [the] thieves as their painting. There's Maquerelle, oldest bawd and a perpetual beggar--did you never hear of her trick to be known in the city?

_Bil._ Never.

_Pass._ Why, she gets all the picture-makers to draw her picture; when they have done, she most courtly finds fault with them one after another, and never fetcheth them: they, in revenge of this, execute her in pictures as they do in Germany, and hang her in their shops: by this means is she better known to the stinkards than if she had been five times carted. 35

_Bil._ 'Fore God, an excellent policy.

_Pass._ Are there any revels to-night, my lord?

_Bil._ Yes.

_Pass._ Good my lord, give me leave to break a fellow's pate that hath abused me. 40

_Bil._ Whose pate?

_Pass._ Young Ferrardo, my lord.

_Bil._ Take heed, he's very valiant; I have known him fight eight quarrels in five days, believe it.

_Pass._ O, is he so great a quarreller? why, then, he's an arrant coward.

_Bil._ How prove you that?

_Pass._ Why, thus. He that quarrels seeks to fight; and he that seeks to fight seeks to die; and he that seeks to die seeks never to fight more; and he that will quarrel, and seeks means never to answer a man more, I think he's a coward. 52

_Bil._ Thou canst prove anything.

_Pass._ Anything but a rich knave; for I can flatter no man.

_Bil._ Well, be not drunk, good fool: I shall see you anon in the presence.

[_Exeunt._

[528] This scene was added in ed. 2.

[529] Reed suggests that this word may be derived from old Fr. _coisser_ (= incommoder) or _coiter_ (= presser, exciter). Nares explains _coistered_ to mean "coiled up into a small compass."

[530] A ball of perfumed paste, worn round the neck or at the girdle.