Chapter 23

sides._

_Enter_ MUFTI, ANTONIO _as a slave, and_ JOHAYMA _the_ MUFTI'S _wife._

_Muf._ And how do you like him? look upon him well; he is a personable fellow of a Christian dog. Now, I think you are fitted for a gardener. Ha, what sayest thou, Johayma?

_Joh._ He may make a shift to sow lettuce, raise melons, and water a garden-plat; but otherwise, a very filthy fellow: how odiously he smells of his country garlick! fugh, how he stinks of Spain.

_Muf._ Why honey bird, I bought him on purpose for thee: didst thou not say, thou longedst for a Christian slave?

_Joh._ Ay, but the sight of that loathsome creature has almost cured me; and how can I tell that he is a christian? an he were well searched, he may prove a Jew, for aught I know. And, besides, I have always longed for an eunuch; for they say that's a civil creature, and almost as harmless as yourself, husband.--Speak, fellow, are not you such a kind of peaceable thing?

_Ant._ I was never taken for one in my own country; and not very peaceable neither, when I am well provoked.

_Muf._ To your occupation, dog; bind up the jessamines in yonder arbour, and handle your pruning-knife with dexterity: tightly I say, go tightly to your business; you have cost me much, and must earn it in your work. Here's plentiful provision for you, rascal; salading in the garden, and water in the tank, and on holidays the licking of a platter of rice, when you deserve it.

_Joh._ What have you been bred up to, sirrah? and what can you perform, to recommend you to my service?

_Ant._ [_Making Legs._] Why, madam, I can perform as much as any man, in a fair lady's service. I can play upon the flute, and sing; I can carry your umbrella, and fan your ladyship, and cool you when you are too hot; in fine, no service, either by day or by night, shall come amiss to me; and, besides I am of so quick an apprehension, that you need but wink upon me at any time to make me understand my duty. [_She winks at him._]--Very fine, she has tipt the wink already. [_Aside._

_Joh._ The whelp may come to something in time, when I have entered him into his business.

_Muf._ A very malapert cur, I can tell him that; I do not like his fawning--You must be taught your distance, sirrah. [_Strikes him._

_Joh._ Hold, hold. He has deserved it, I confess; but, for once, let his ignorance plead his pardon; we must not discourage a beginner. Your reverence has taught us charity, even to birds and beasts:--here, you filthy brute, you, take this little alms to buy you plasters. [_Gives him a piece of money._

_Ant._ Money, and a love-pinch in the inside of my palm into the bargain. [_Aside._

_Enter a Servant._

_Serv._ Sir, my lord Benducar is coming to wait on you, and is already at the palace gate.

_Muf._ Come in, Johayma; regulate the rest of my wives and concubines, and leave the fellow to his work.

_Joh._ How stupidly he stares about him, like a calf new come into the world! I shall teach you, sirrah, to know your business a little better. This way, you awkward rascal; here lies the arbour; must I be shewing you eternally? [_Turning him about._

_Muf._ Come away, minion; you shall shew him nothing.

_Joh._ I'll but bring him into the arbour, where a rose-tree and a myrtle-tree are just falling for want of a prop; if they were bound together, they would help to keep up one another. He's a raw gardener, and 'tis but charity to teach him.

_Muf._ No more deeds of charity to-day; come in, or I shall think you a little better disposed than I could wish you.

_Joh._ Well, go before, I will follow my pastor.

_Muf._ So you may cast a sheep's eye behind you? in before me;--and you, sauciness, mind your pruning-knife, or I may chance to use it for you. [_Exeunt Mufti and_ JOHAYMA.

_Ant._ [_Alone._] Thank you for that, but I am in no such haste to be made a mussulman. For his wedlock, for all her haughtiness, I find her coming. How far a Christian should resist, I partly know; but how far a lewd young Christian can resist, is another question. She's tolerable, and I am a poor stranger, far from better friends, and in a bodily necessity. Now have I a strange temptation to try what other females are belonging to this family: I am not far from the women's apartment, I am sure; and if these birds are within distance, here's that will chuckle them together. [_Pulls out his Flute._] If there be variety of Moors' flesh in this holy market, 'twere madness to lay out all my money upon the first bargain. [_He plays. A Grate opens, and_ MORAYMA, _the Mufti's Daughter, appears at it._]--Ay, there's an apparition! This is a morsel worthy of a Mufti; this is the relishing bit in secret; this is the mystery of his Alcoran, that must be reserved from the knowledge of the prophane vulgar; this is his holiday devotion.--See, she beckons too. [_She beckons to him._

_Mor._ Come a little nearer, and speak softly.

_Ant._ I come. I come, I warrant thee; the least twinkle had brought me to thee; such another kind syllable or two would turn me to a meteor, and draw me up to thee.

_Mor._ I dare not speak, for fear of being overheard; but if you think my person worth your hazard, and can deserve my love, the rest this note shall tell you. [_Throws down a Handkerchief._] No more, my heart goes with you. [_Exit from the Grate._

_Ant._ O thou pretty little heart, art thou flown hither? I'll keep it warm, I warrant it, and brood upon it in the new nest.--But now for my treasure trove, that's wrapt up in the handkerchief; no peeping here, though I long to be spelling her Arabic scrawls and pot-hooks. But I must carry off my prize as robbers do, and not think of sharing the booty before I am free from danger, and out of eye-shot from the other windows. If her wit be as poignant as her eyes, I am a double slave. Our northern beauties are mere dough to these; insipid white earth, mere tobacco pipe clay, with no more soul and motion in them than a fly in winter. Here the warm planet ripens and sublimes The well-baked beauties of the southern climes. Our Cupid's but a bungler in his trade; His keenest arrows are in Africk made. [_Exit._