ACT III. SCENE I.

_Enter_ ROSE _and_ WARNER _meeting_.

_Rose._ Your worship's most happily encountered.

_Warn._ Your ladyship's most fortunately met.

_Rose._ I was going to your lodging.

_Warn._ My business was to yours.

_Rose._ I have something to say to you that----

_Warn._ I have that to tell you----

_Rose._ Understand then----

_Warn._ If you'll hear me----

_Rose._ I believe that----

_Warn._ I am of opinion, that----

_Rose._ Pry'thee hold thy peace a little, till I have done.

_Warn._ Cry you mercy, Mrs Rose; I'll not dispute your ancient privilege of talking.

_Rose._ My mistress, knowing Sir John was to be abroad upon business this afternoon, has asked leave to see a play: And Sir John has so great a confidence of your master, that he will trust no body with her, but him.

_Warn._ If my master gets her out, I warrant her, he shall shew her a better play than any is at either of the houses--here they are: I'll run and prepare him to wait upon her. [_Exit._

_Enter old_ MOODY, _Mrs_ MILLISENT, _and Lady_ DUPE.

_Mill._ My hoods and scarfs there, quickly.

_L. Dupe._ Send to call a coach there.

_Mood._ But what kind of man is this Sir Martin, with whom you are to go?

_L. Dupe._ A plain down-right country-gentleman, I assure you.

_Mood._ I like him much the better for it. For I hate one of those you call a man of the town, one of those empty fellows of mere out-side: They have nothing of the true old English manliness.

_Rose._ I confess, sir, a woman's in a bad condition, that has nothing to trust to, but a peruke above, and a well-trimmed shoe below.

_To them Sir_ MARTIN.

_Mill._ This, sir, is Sir John's friend; he is for your humour, sir; he is no man of the town, but bred up in the old Elizabeth way of plainness.

_Sir Mart._ Ay, madam, your ladyship may say your pleasure of me.

_To them_ WARNER.

_Warn._ How the devil got he here before me! 'Tis very unlucky I could not see him first.

_Sir Mart._ But, as for painting, music, poetry, and the like, I'll say this of myself----

_Warn._ I'll say that for him, my master understands none of them, I assure you, sir.

_Sir Mart._ You impudent rascal, hold your tongue: I must rid my hands of this fellow; the rogue is ever discrediting me before company.

_Mood._ Never trouble yourself about it, sir, for I like a man that----

_Sir Mart._ I know you do, sir, and therefore I hope you'll think never the worse of me for his prating: For, though I do not boast of my own good parts----

_Warn._ He has none to boast of, upon my faith, sir.

_Sir Mart._ Give him not the hearing, sir; for, if I may believe my friends, they have flattered me with an opinion of more----

_Warn._ Of more than their flattery can make good, sir; 'tis true he tells you, they have flattered him; but, in my conscience, he is the most down-right simple-natured creature in the world.

_Sir Mart._ I shall consider you hereafter, sirrah; but I am sure in all companies I pass for a virtuoso.

_Mood._ Virtuoso! What's that too? is not virtue enough without O so?

_Sir Mart._ You have reason, sir.

_Mood._ There he is again too; the town phrase; a great compliment I wis! _you have reason, sir_; that is, you are no beast, sir.

_Warn._ A word in private, sir; you mistake this old man; he loves neither painting, music, nor poetry; yet recover yourself, if you have any brains. [_Aside to him._

_Sir Mart._ Say you so? I'll bring all about again, I warrant you.--I beg your pardon a thousand times, sir; I vow to gad I am not master of any of those perfections; for, in fine, sir, I am wholly ignorant of painting, music, and poetry; only some rude escapes; but, in fine, they are such, that, in fine, sir----

_Warn._ This is worse than all the rest. [_Aside._

_Mood._ By coxbones, one word more of all this gibberish, and old Madge shall fly about your ears: What is this, _in fine_, he keeps such a coil with too?

_Mill._ 'Tis a phrase _a-la-mode_, sir; and is used in conversation now, as a whiff of tobacco was formerly in the midst of a discourse for a thinking while.

_L. Dupe._ In plain English, _in fine_ is, in the end, sir.

_Mood._ But, by coxbones, there is no end on't, methinks: If thou wilt have a foolish word to lard thy lean discourse with, take an English one when thou speakest English! as, so sir, and then sir, and so forth; 'tis a more manly kind of nonsense: And a pox of, _in fine_, for I'll hear no more on't.

_Warn._ He's gravelled, and I must help him out. [_Aside_.] Madam, there's a coach at the door, to carry you to the play.

_Sir Mart._ Which house do you mean to go to?

_Mill._ The Duke's, I think.

_Sir Mart._ It is a damn'd play, and has nothing in't.

_Mill._ Then let us to the king's.

_Sir Mart._ That's e'en as bad.

_Warn._ This is past enduring. [_Aside_.] There was an ill play set up, sir, on the posts; but I can assure you the bills are altered since you saw them, and now there are two admirable comedies at both houses.

_Mood._ But my daughter loves serious plays.

_Warn._ They are tragi-comedies, sir, for both.

_Sir Mart._ I have heard her say, she loves none but tragedies.

_Mood._ Where have you heard her say so, sir?

_Warn._ Sir, you forget yourself; you never saw her in your life before.

_Sir Mart._ What, not at Canterbury, in the Cathedral church there? This is the impudentest rascal----

_Warn._ Mum, sir.

_Sir Mart._ Ah Lord, what have I done! As I hope to be saved, sir, it was before I was aware; for if ever I set eyes on her before this day, I wish--

_Mood._ This fellow is not so much fool, as he makes one believe he is.

_Mill._ I thought he would be discovered for a wit: This 'tis to over-act one's part! [_Aside._

_Mood._ Come away, daughter, I will not trust you in his hands; there's more in it than I imagined. [_Exeunt_ MOODY, MILL. _Lady_ DUPE, _and_ ROSE.

_Sir Mart._ Why do you frown upon me so, when you know your looks go to the heart of me? What have I done besides a little _lapsus linguæ_?

_Warn._ Why, who says you have done any thing? You, a mere innocent!

_Sir Mart._ As the child that's to be born, in my intentions; if I know how I have offended myself any more than----in one word----

_Warn._ But don't follow me, however: I have nothing to say to you.

_Sir Mart._ I'll follow you to the world's end, till you forgive me.

_Warn._ I am resolved to lead you a dance then. [_Exit running._

_Sir Mart._ The rogue has no mercy in him; but I must mollify him with money. [_Exit._