Chapter 41

Enter _Wellman_, _Downright_, _Dunce_, _Whimsey_, _Whiff_, and others.

_Well._ Come, Mr. _Dunce_, though you are no Counsellor, yet your Counsel may be good in time of Necessity, as now.

_Dun._ If I may give worthy Advice, I do not look upon our Danger to be so great from the _Indians_, as from young _Bacon_, whom the People have nick-nam’d _Fright-all_.

_Whim._ Ay, ay, that same _Bacon_, I would he were well hang’d: I am afraid that under pretence of killing all the _Indians_ he means to murder us, lie with our Wives, and hang up our little Children, and make himself Lord and King.

_Whiff._ Brother _Whimsey_, not so hot; with leave of the honourable Board, my Wife is of opinion, that _Bacon_ came seasonably to our Aid, and what he has done was for our Defence, the _Indians_ came down upon us, and ravish’d us all, Men, Women, and Children.

_Well._ If these Grievances were not redrest, we had our Reasons for it; it was not that we were insensible, Captain _Whiff_, of what we suffer’d from the Insolence of the _Indians_; but all knew what we must expect from _Bacon_, if that by lawful Authority he had arrived to so great a Command as General; nor would we be hufft out of our Commissions.

_Down._ ‘Tis most certain that _Bacon_ did not demand a Commission out of a design of serving us, but to satisfy his Ambition and his Love; it being no secret that he passionately admires the _Indian_ Queen, and under the pretext of a War, intends to kill the King her Husband, establish himself in her Heart, and on all occasions make himself a more formidable Enemy than the Indians are.

_Whim._ Nay, nay, I ever foresaw he would prove a Villain.

_Whiff._ Nay, and he be thereabout, my _Nancy_ shall have no more to do with him.

_Well._ But, Gentlemen, the People daily flock to him, so that his Army is too considerable for us to oppose by any thing but Policy.

_Down._ We are sensible, Gentlemen, that our Fortunes, our Honours, and our Lives are at stake; and therefore you are call’d together to consult what’s to be done in this Grand Affair, till our Governour and Forces arrive from _England_: the Truce he made with the _Indians_ will be out to morrow.

_Whiff._ Ay, and then he intends to have another bout with the _Indians_. Let’s have patience, I say, till he has thrumb’d their Jackets, and then to work with your Politicks as soon as you please.

_Down._ Colonel _Wellman_ has answer’d that point, good Captain _Whiff_; ’.is the Event of this Battel we ought to dread; and if won or lost, will be equally fatal for us, either from the _Indians_ or from _Bacon_.

_Dun._ With the Permission of the honourable Board, I think I have hit upon an Expedient that may prevent this Battel: your Honours shall write a Letter to _Bacon_, where you shall acknowledge his Services, invite him kindly home, and offer him a Commission for General--

_Whiff._ Just my _Nancy’s_ Counsel--Dr. _Dunce_ has spoken like a Cherubin, he shall have my Voice for General; what say you, Brother _Whimsey_?

_Down._ I say he is a Noble Fellow, and fit for a General.

_Dun._ But conceive me right, Gentlemen; as soon as he shall have render’d himself, seize him, and strike off his Head at the Fort.

_Whiff._ Hum! his Head--Brother.

_Whim._ Ay, ay, Dr. _Dunce_ speaks like a Cherubin.

_Well._ Mr. _Dunce_, your Counsel in extremity, I confess, is not amiss; but I should be loth to deal dishonourably with any Man.

_Down._ His Crimes deserve Death, his Life is forfeited by Law, but shall never be taken by my consent by Treachery: If by any Stratagem we could take him alive, and either send him for _England_ to receive there his Punishment, or keep him Prisoner here till the Governour arrive, I should agree to it; but I question his coming in upon our Invitation.

_Dun._ Leave that to me.

_Whim._ Come, I’ll warrant him, the Rogue’s as stout as _Hector_, he fears neither Heaven nor Hell.

_Down._ He’s too brave and bold to refuse our Summons, and I am for sending him for _England_, and leaving him to the King’s Mercy.

_Dun._ In that you’ll find more difficulty, Sir; to take him off here will be more quick and sudden: for the People worship him.

_Well._ I’ll never yield to so ungenerous an Expedient. The seizing him I am content in the Extremity wherein we are to follow. What say you, Colonel _Downright_? shall we send him a Letter now, while this two days Truce lasts, between him and the _Indians_?

_Down._ I approve it.

_All._ And I, and I, and I.

_Dun._ If your Honours please to make me the Messenger, I’ll use some Arguments of my own to prevail with him.

_Well._ You say well, Mr. _Dunce_, and we’ll dispatch you presently.

[Ex. _Well._ _Down._ and all but _Whim._ _Whiff._ and _Dunce_.

_Whiff._ Ah, Doctor, if you could but have persuaded Colonel _Wellman_ and Colonel _Downright_ to have hanged him--

_Whim._ Why, Brother _Whiff_, you were for making him a General but now.

_Whiff._ The Counsels of wise States-men, Brother _Whimsey_, must change as Causes do, d’ye see.

_Dun._ Your Honours are in the right; and whatever those two leading Counsellors say, they would be glad if _Bacon_ were dispatch’d: but the punctilio of Honour is such a thing.

_Whim._ Honour, a Pox on’t; what is that Honour that keeps such a bustle in the World, yet never did good as I heard of?

_Dun._ Why, ‘tis a foolish word only, taken up by great Men, but rarely practis’d.--But if you wou’d be great Men indeed--

_Whiff._ If we wou’d, Doctor, name, name the way.

_Dun._ Why, you command each of you a Company--when _Bacon_ comes from the Camp, as I am sure he will, (and full of this silly thing call’d Honour, will come unguarded too) lay some of your Men in Ambush along those Ditches by the _Sevana_, about a Mile from the Town; and as he comes by, seize him, and hang him up upon the next Tree.

_Whiff._ Hum--hang him! a rare Plot.

_Whim._ Hang him!--we’ll do’t, we’ll do’t, Sir, and I doubt not but to be made General for the Action--I’ll take it all upon my self. [Aside.

_Dun._ If you resolve upon this, you must about instantly--Thus I shall at once serve my Country, and revenge my self on the Rascal for affronting my Dignity once at the Council-Table, by calling me Farrier. [Ex. _Dr._

_Whiff._ Do you know, Brother, what we are to do?

_Whim._ To do! yes, to hang a General, Brother, that’s all.

_Whiff._ All! but is it lawful to hang any General?

_Whim._ Lawful, yes, that ‘tis lawful to hang any General that fights against Law.

_Whiff._ But in what he has done, he has serv’d the King and our Country, and preserv’d our Lives and Fortunes.

_Whim._ That’s all one, Brother; if there be but a Quirk in the Law offended in this Case, though he fought like _Alexander_, and preserv’d the whole World from Perdition, yet if he did it against Law, ‘tis lawful to hang him; why, what, Brother, is it fit that every impudent Fellow that pretends to a little Honour, Loyalty, and Courage, should serve his King and Country against the Law? no, no, Brother, these things are not to be suffer’d in a civil Government by Law establish’d,--wherefore let’s about it.

[Exeunt.