Chapter 28

_Enter Lady_ Fulbank, Pert _and_ Bredwel. Bredwel _gives her a Letter_.

_Lady_ Fulbank _reads_.

_Did my_ Julia _know how I languish in this cruel Separation, she would afford me her pity, and write oftner. If only the Expectation of two thousand a year kept me from you, ah!_ Julia, _how easily would I abandon that Trifle for your more valued sight; but that I know a fortune will render me more agreeable to the charming_ Julia, _I should quit all my Interest here, to throw my self at her Feet, to make her sensible how I am intirely her Adorer_. Charles Gayman.

--Faith, _Charles_, you lie--you are as welcome to me now, Now when I doubt thy Fortune is declining, As if the Universe were thine.

_Pert_. That, Madam, is a noble Gratitude. For if his Fortune be declining, ‘tis sacrificed to his Passion for your Ladyship. --’Tis all laid out on Love.

L. _Ful_. I prize my Honour more than Life, Yet I had rather have given him all he wish’d of me, Than be guilty of his Undoing.

_Pert_. And I think the Sin were less.

L. _Ful_. I must confess, such Jewels, Rings and Presents as he made me, must needs decay his Fortune.

_Bred_. Ay, Madam, his very Coach at last was turned into a Jewel for your Ladyship. Then, Madam, what Expences his Despair have run him on --As Drinking and Gaming, to divert the Thought of your marrying my old Master.

L. _Ful_. And put in Wenching too.--

_Bred_. No, assure your self, Madam--

L. _Ful_. Of that I would be better satisfied--and you too must assist me, as e’er you hope I should be kind to you in gaining you _Diana_. [_To_ Bredwel.

_Bred_. Madam, I’ll die to serve you.

_Pert_. Nor will I be behind in my Duty.

L. _Ful_. Oh, how fatal are forc’d Marriages! How many Ruins one such Match pulls on! Had I but kept my Sacred Vows to _Gayman_, How happy had I been--how prosperous he! Whilst now I languish in a loath’d embrace, Pine out my Life with Age--Consumptions, Coughs. --But dost thou fear that Gayman is declining?

_Bred_. You are my Lady, and the best of Mistresses-- Therefore I would not grieve you, for I know You love this best--but most unhappy Man.

L. _Ful_. You shall not grieve me--prithee on.

_Bred_. My Master sent me yesterday to Mr. _Crap_, his Scrivener, to send to one Mr. _Wasteall_, to tell him his first Mortgage was out, which is two hundred pounds a Year--and who has since ingaged five or six hundred more to my Master; but if this first be not redeem’d, he’ll take the Forfeit on’t, as he says a wise Man ought.

L. _Ful_. That is to say, a Knave, according to his Notion of a wise Man.

_Bred_. Mr. _Crap_, being busy with a borrowing Lord, sent me to Mr. _Wasteall_, whose Lodging is in a nasty Place called _Alsatia_, at a Black-Smith’s.

L. _Ful_. But what’s all this to _Gayman_?

_Bred_. Madam, this _Wasteall_ was Mr. _Gayman_.

L. _Ful_. _Gayman_! Saw’st thou _Gayman_?

_Bred_. Madam, Mr. _Gayman_, yesterday.

L. _Ful_. When came he to Town?

_Bred_. Madam, he has not been out of it.

L. _Ful_. Not at his Uncle’s in _Northamptonshire_?

_Bred_. Your Ladyship was wont to credit me.

L. _Ful_. Forgive me--you went to a Black-Smith’s--

_Bred_. Yes, Madam; and at the door encountred the beastly thing he calls a Landlady; who lookt as if she had been of her own Husband’s making, compos’d of moulded Smith’s Dust. I ask’d for Mr. _Wasteall_, and she began to open--and did so rail at him, that what with her _Billinsgate_, and her Husband’s hammers, I was both deaf and dumb--at last the hammers ceas’d, and she grew weary, and call’d down Mr. _Wasteall_; but he not answering--I was sent up a Ladder rather than a pair of Stairs; at last I scal’d the top, and enter’d the inchanted Castle; there did I find him, spite of the noise below, drowning his Cares in Sleep.

L. _Ful_. Whom foundst thou? _Gayman_?

_Bred_. He, Madam, whom I waked--and seeing me, Heavens, what Confusion seiz’d him! which nothing but my own Surprize could equal. Asham’d--he wou’d have turn’d away; But when he saw, by my dejected Eyes, I knew him, He sigh’d, and blusht, and heard me tell my Business: Then beg’d I wou’d be secret; for he vow’d his whole Repose and Life depended on my silence. Nor had I told it now, But that your Ladyship may find some speedy means to draw him from this desperate Condition.

L. _Ful_. Heavens, is’t possible?

_Bred_. He’s driven to the last degree of Poverty-- Had you but seen his Lodgings, Madam!

L. _Ful_. What were they?

_Bred_. ‘Tis a pretty convenient Tub, Madam. He may lie a long in’t, there’s just room for an old join’d Stool besides the Bed, which one cannot call a Cabin, about the largeness of a Pantry Bin, or a Usurer’s Trunk; there had been Dornex Curtains to’t in the days of Yore; but they were now annihilated, and nothing left to save his Eyes from the Light, but my Landlady’s Blue Apron, ty’d by the strings before the Window, in which stood a broken six-penny Looking-Glass, that shew’d as many Faces as the Scene in _Henry_ the Eighth, which could but just stand upright, and then the Comb-Case fill’d it.

L. _Ful_. What a leud Description hast thou made of his Chamber?

_Bred_. Then for his Equipage, ‘tis banisht to one small Monsieur, who (saucy with his Master’s Poverty) is rather a Companion than a Footman.

L. _Ful_. But what said he to the Forfeiture of his Land?

_Bred_. He sigh’d and cry’d, Why, farewel dirty Acres; It shall not trouble me, since ‘twas all but for Love!

L. _Ful_. How much redeems it?

_Bred_. Madam, five hundred Pounds.

L. _Ful_. Enough--you shall in some disguise convey this Money to him, as from an unknown hand: I wou’d not have him think it comes from me, for all the World: That Nicety and Virtue I’ve profest, I am resolved to keep.

_Pert_. If I were your Ladyship, I wou’d make use of Sir _Cautious’s_ Cash: pay him in his own Coin.

_Bred_. Your Ladyship wou’d make no Scruple of it, if you knew how this poor Gentleman has been us’d by my unmerciful Master.

L. _Ful_. I have a Key already to his Counting-House; it being lost, he had another made, and this I found and kept.

_Bred_. Madam, this is an excellent time for’t, my Master being gone to give my Sister _Leticia_ at Church.

L. _Ful_. ‘Tis so, I’ll go and commit the Theft, whilst you prepare to carry it, and then we’ll to dinner with your Sister the Bride.

[_Exeunt_.