Chapter 59

_Enter_ Petro, Tickletext, _from the Garden_.

_Tick_. Haste, honest _Barberacho_, before the Day discover us to the wicked World, and that more wicked _Galliard_.

_Pet_. Well, Signior, of a bad turn it was a good one, that he took you for Sir _Signal_! the Scandal lies at his door now Sir,--so the Ladder’s fast, you may now mount and away.--

_Tick_. Very well, go your ways, and commend me, honest _Barberacho_, to the young Gentlewoman, and let her know, as soon as I may be certain to run no hazard in my Reputation, I’ll visit her again.

_Pet_. I’ll warrant ye, Signior, for the future.

_Tick_. So, now get you gone lest we be discover’d.

_Pet_. Farewel, Signior, _a bon viage_. [_Ex_. Pet. Tick, _descends_.

_Tick_. ‘Tis marvellous dark, and I have lost my Lanthorn in the fray! [_Groping_.] --hah--whereabouts am I--hum--what have we here!--ah, help, help, help! [_Stumbles_ _at the Well, gets hold of the Rope, and slides down in the Bucket_.] I shall be drown’d, Fire, Fire, Fire! for I have Water enough! Oh, for some House,--some Street; nay, wou’d _Rome_ it-self were a second time in flames, that my Deliverance might be wrought by the necessity for Water: but no human Help is nigh--oh!

_Enter Sir_ Sig. _as before_.

Sir _Sig_. Did ever any Knight-Adventurer run through so many Disasters in one night! my worshipful Carcase has been cudgel’d most plentifully, first bang’d for a Coward, which by the way was none of my Fault, I cannot help Nature: then claw’d away for a _Diavillo_, there I was the Fool; but who can help that too? frighted with _Gal’s_ coming into an Ague; then chimney’d into a Fever, where I had a fine Regale of Soot, a Perfume which nothing but my _Cackamarda Orangate_ cou’d exceell; and which I find by [_snuffs_] my smelling has defac’d Nature’s Image, and a second time made me be suspected for a Devil.--let me see--[_Opens his Lanthorn, and looks on his Hands_.] ‘tis so--I am in a cleanly Pickle: if my Face be of the same Hue, I am fit to scare away old _Beelzebub_ himself, i’faith: [_Wipes his Face_.]--ay, ‘tis so, like to like, quoth the Devil to the Collier: well I’ll home, scrub my self clean if possible, get me to Bed, devise a handsom Lye to excuse my long stay to my Governour, and all’s well, and the Man has his Mare again. [_Shuts his Lanthorn and gropes away, runs against the Well.--Quequesto (feels gently.)_] Make me thankful ‘tis substantial Wood, by your leave-- [_Opens his Lanthorn_.] How! a Well! sent by Providence that I may wash my self, lest People smoke me by the scent, and beat me a-new for stinking: [_Sets down his Lanthorn, pulls of his Masking-Coat, and goes to draw Water_.] ‘Tis a damnable heavy Bucket! now do I fancy I shall look, when I am washing my self, like the sign of the Labour-in-vain.

_Tick_. So, my cry is gone forth, and I am delivered by Miracle from this Dungeon of Death and Darkness, this cold Element of Destruction--

Sir _Sig_. Hah--sure I heard a dismal hollow Voice.

[Tick. _appears in the Bucket above the Well_.

_Tick_. What, art thou come in Charity?

Sir _Sig_. Ah, _le Diavilo, le Diavilo, le Diavilo_. [_Lets go the Bucket, and is running frighted away_.

_Enter_ Fillamour _and_ Page, _he returns_.

--How, a Man! was ever wretched Wight so miserable, the Devil at one hand, and a _Roman_ Night-walker at the other; which danger shall I chuse? [_Gets to the door of the House_.

_Tick_. So, I am got up at last--thanks to my Knight, for I am sure ‘twas he! hah, he’s here--I’ll hear his Business. [_Goes near to_ Fillamour.

_Fil_. Confound this Woman, this bewitching Woman: I cannot shake her from my sullen Heart; Spite of my Soul I linger hereabouts, and cannot to _Viterbo_.

_Tick_. Very good; a dainty Rascal this!

_Enter_ Galliard _with a Lanthorn, as from_ Silvia’s _House, held by_ Philippa.

_Fil_.--Hah, who’s this coming from her House? Perhaps ‘tis _Galliard_.

_Gal_. No Argument shall fetch me back, by Heaven.

_Fil_. ‘Tis the mad Rogue.

_Tick_. Oh Lord, ‘tis _Galliard_, and angry too; now cou’d I but get off, and leave Sir _Signal_ to be beaten, ‘twere a rare project--but ‘tis impossible without discovery.

_Phil_. But will you hear her, Signior?

_Gal_. That is, will I lose more time about her? Plague on’t, I have thrown away already such Songs and Sonnets, such Madrigals and Posies, such Night-walks, Sighs, and direful Lovers looks, as wou’d have mollify’d any Woman of Conscience and Religion; and now to be popt i’th’ mouth with Quality! Well, if ever you catch me lying with any but honest well-meaning Damsels hereafter, hang me:--farewel, old Secret, farewel. [_Ex_. Philippa. --Now am I asham’d of being cozen’d so damnably, _Fillamour_, that virtuous Rascal, will so laugh at me; s’heart, cou’d I but have debaucht him, we had been on equal terms.--but I must help my self with lying, and swear I have--a--

_Fil_. You shall not need, I’ll keep your Counsel, Sir.

_Gal_. Hah--_estes vous la_?--

_Tick_. How, _Fillamour_ all this while! some Comfort yet, I am not the only Professor that dissembles: but how to get away--

_Gal_. Oh _Harry_, the most damnably defeated! [_A Noise of Swords_.

_Fil_. Hold! what Noise is that? two Men coming this way as from the house of the Curtezans.

_Enter_ Julio _backwards, fighting_ Octavio _and Bravoes_.

_Gal_. Hah, on retreating,--S’death, I’ve no Sword!

_Fil_. Here’s one, I’ll take my Page’s. [_Takes the Boy’s Sword_.

_Gal_. Now am I mad for mischief; here, hold my Lanthorn, Boy.

[_They fight on_ Julio’s _side, and fight_ Octavio _out at t’other side: Enter_ Laura _and_ Sabina _at the Fore-door, which is the same where Sir_ Signal _stands:_ Tick. _groping up that way, finds Sir_ Sig. _just entring in;_ Laura _and_ Sab. _pass over the Stage_.

Sir _Sig_. Hah, a door open! I care not who it belongs to, ‘tis better dying within Doors like a Man, than in the Street like a Dog. [_Going in_, Tick. _in great fear comes up and pulls him_.

_Tick_. Signior, gentle Signior, whoe’er you are that owns this Mansion, I beseech you to give Protection to a wretched Man half dead with Fear and Injury.

Sir _Sig_. Nay, I defy the Devil to be more dead with Fear than I-- Signior, you may enter, perhaps ‘tis some body that will make an Excuse for us both,--but hark, they return. [_Both go in, just after_ Lau. _and_ Sab. _and_ Silvio _enter_.

_Lau_. He’s gone! he’s gone! perhaps for ever gone.-- Tell me, thou silly Manager of Love, How got this Ruffian in? how was it possible Without thy Knowledge he cou’d get Admittance?

_Sab_. Now as I hope to live and learn, I know not, Madam, unless he follow’d you when you let in the Cavalier, which being by dark he easily conceal’d himself; no doubt some Lover of _Silvianetta’s_, who mistaking you for her, took him too for a Rival.

_Lau_. ‘Tis likely, and my Fortune is to blame, my cursed Fortune, Who like Misers deals her scanty Bounties with so slow a hand, That or we die before the Blessing falls, Or have it snatcht e’er we can call it ours. [_Raving_.] To have him in my House, to have him kind, Kind as young Lovers when they meet by stealth; As fond as Age to Beauty, and as soft As Love and Wit cou’d make impatient Youth, Preventing even my Wishes and Desires, --Oh Gods! and then, even then to be defeated, Then from my o’erjoy’d Arms to have him snatcht; Then when our Vows had made our Freedom lawful; What Maid cou’d suffer a Surprize so cruel? --The Day begins to break,--go search the Streets, And bring me news he’s safe, or I am lost.

_Enter_ Gal. Fil. _and_ Jul.

_Fil_. _Galliard_, where art thou?

_Gal_. Here safe, and by thy side.--

_Lau_. ‘Tis he!

_Jul_. Whoe’er he were, the Rogue fought like a Fury, and but for your timely Aid I’d been in some Danger.

_Fil_. But, _Galliard_, thou wert telling me thy Adventure with _Silvianetta_; there may be comfort in’t.

_Lau_. So, now I shall hear with what concern he speaks of me.-- [_Aside_.

_Gal_. Oh, damn her, damn her!

_Lau_. Hah!

_Gal_. The veriest Jilt that ever learnt the Art.

_Lau_. Heavens!

_Gal_. Death, the Whore took me for some amorous _English_ elder Brother, and was for Matrimony, in the Devil’s name; thought me a loving Fool, that ne’er had seen so glorious a sight before, and wou’d at any rate enjoy.

_Lau_. Oh Heaven! I’m amaz’d, how much he differs from the thing he was but a few Minutes since. [_Aside_.

_Gal_. And to advance her Price, set up for Quality; nay, swore she was a Maid, and that she did but act the Curtezan.

_Lau_. Which then he seem’d to give a credit to.--O, the forsworn Dissembler!

_Gal_. But when I came to the matter then in debate, she was for honourable Love forsooth, and wou’d not yield, no marry wou’d she, not under a Licence from the Parson of the Parish.

_Jul_. Who was it, prithee? ‘twere a good Deed to be so reveng’d on her.

_Gal_. Pox on her; no, I’m sure she’s a damn’d Gipsy, for at the same time she had her Lovers in reserve, lay hid her Bed-chamber.

_Lau_. ‘Twas that he took unkindly, And makes me guilty of that rude Address.

_Fil_. Another Lover had she?

_Gal_. Yes, our Coxcomb Knight Buffoon, laid by for a relishing Bit, in case I prov’d not season’d to her Mind.

_Lau_. Hah, he knew him then.

_Gal_. But damn her, she passes with the Night, the Day will bring new Objects.

_Fil_. Oh, do not doubt it, _Frank_.

_Lau_. False and Inconstant! Oh, I shall rave, _Silvio_-- [_Aside to Sil_.

_Enter_ Cornelia _in Man’s Clothes with a Letter_.

_Cor_. Here be the Cavaliers: give me, kind Heaven, but hold of him; and if I keep him not, I here renounce my Charms of Wit and Beauty--Signiors, is there a Cavalier amongst ye, call’d _Fillamour_?

_Fil_. I own that Name; what wou’d you, Sir?

_Cor_. Only deliver this, Signior.

[Fil. _goes aside, opens his Lanthorn, and reads_, Jul. _and_ Gal. _talk aside_.

_Fil_. [Reads.] _I’ll only tell you I am Brother to that Marcella whom you have injured, to oblige you to meet me an Hour hence, in the_ Piazo Despagnia: _I need not say with your Sword in your hand, since you will there meet_ Julio Sebastiano Morosini! --Hah! her Brother sure return’d from Travel. [_Aside_.

--Signior,--I will not fail to answer it as he desires. [_To_ Cornelia. I’ll take this Opportunity to steal off undiscover’d. [_Aside going out_.

_Cor_. So, I’ve done my Sister’s Business; now for my own.

_Gal_. But, my good Friend, pray what Adventure have you been on to night.

_Jul_. Faith, Sir, ‘twas like to have prov’d a pleasant one, I came just now from _Silvianetta_, the fair young Curtezan.

_Cor_. Hah! what said the Man--came from me! [_Aside_.

_Gal_. How, Sir, you with _Silvianetta!_ when?

_Jul_. Now, all the dear live-long Night.

_Cor_. A Pox take him, who can this be? [_Aside_.

_Gal_. This night! this night! that is not yet departed.

_Jul_. This very happy Night,--I told you I saw a lovely Woman at St. _Peter’s_ Church.

_Gal_. You did so.

_Jul_. I told you too I follow’d her home, but you’d learn neither her Name nor Quality; but my Page getting into the acquaintance of one of hers, brought me News of both; her Name _Silvianetta_, her Quality a Curtezan.

_Cor_. I at Church yesterday! now hang me if I had any such devout Thoughts about me: why, what a damn’d scandalous Rascal’s this?

_Jul_. Fill’d with hopes of Success, at night I made her a Visit, and under her Window had a skirmish with some Rival, who was then serenading her.

_Gal_. Was’t he that fought us then.--[_Aside_.-- But it seems you were not mistaken in the House-- On with your Story pray--Death, I grow jealous now-- [_Aside_.] You came at Night you said?

_Jul_. Yes, and was receiv’d at the door by the kind _Silvianetta_, who softly whisper’d me, come to my Bosom, and be safe for ever! and doubtless took me for some happier Man.

_Lau_. Confusion on him, ‘twas my very Language! [_Aside raving_.

_Jul_. Then led me by dark into her Chamber.

_Cor_. Oh, this damn’d lying Rascal! I do this? [_Aside_.

_Jul_. But oh, the things, the dear obliging things, the kind, the fair young Charmer said and did.

_Gal_. To thee!

_Jul_. To me.

_Gal_. Did _Silvianetta_ do this, _Silvianetta_ the Curtezan?

_Jul_. That passes, Sir, for such, but is indeed of Quality.

_Cor_. This Stranger is the Devil, how shou’d he know that Secret else?

_Jul_. She told me too ‘twas for my sake alone, whom from the first Minute she saw she lov’d, she had assum’d that Name and that Disguise, the sooner to invite me.

_Lau_. ‘Tis plain, the things I utter’d!--Oh, my Heart!

_Gal_. Curse on the publick Jilt, the very Flattery she wou’d have past on me.

_Cor_. Pox take him, I must draw on him, I cannot hold. [_Aside_.

_Gal_. Was ever such a Whore?

_Lau_. Oh, that I knew this Man, whom by mistake I lavisht all the Secrets of my Soul to! [_Aside_.

_Jul_. I prest for something more than dear Expressions, And found her yield apace; But sighing, told me of a fatal Contract, She was oblig’d to make to one she never saw; And yet if I wou’d vow to marry her, when she cou’d prove To merit it, she wou’d deny me nothing.

_Lau_. ‘Twas I, by Heaven, that heedless Fool was I.

_Jul_. Which I with Lover’s’ eager Joy perform’d, And on my Knees utter’d the hasty Words, Which she repeated o’er, and gave me back.

_Gal_. So, he has swallow’d with a vengeance the very Bait she had prepar’d for me, or any body that wou’d bite. [_Aside_.

_Jul_. But e’er I cou’d receive the dear Reward of all my Vows, I was drawn upon by a Man that lay hid in her Chamber; Whether by chance or design I know not; who fought me out, And was the same you found me engag’d with.

_Cor_. A pleasant Rascal this, as e’er the Devil taught his Lesson to.

_Gal_. So, my Comfort is, she has jilted him too most damnably.

_Cor_. Slife, I have anger enough to make me valiant; why shou’d I not make use on’t, and beat this lying Villain whilst the Fit holds?

_Gal_. And you design to keep these Vows, though you’re contracted to another Woman?

_Jul_. I neither thought of breaking those, or keeping these; My Soul was all employ’d another way.

_Lau_. It shall be so, _Silvio_,--I’ve thought upon a way that must redeem all:--hark and observe me. [_Takes_ Sil. _and whispers to him_.

_Jul_. But I’m impatient to pursue my Adventure, which I must endeavour to do, before the Light discover the Mistake.--Farewel, Sir. [_Ex_. Julio.

_Gal_. Go and be ruin’d quite, she has the Knack of doing it.

_Sil_. I’ll warrant ye, Madam, for my Part. [_Ex_. Laura and Sabina.

_Gal_. I have a damn’d hankering after this Woman: why cou’d I not have put the cheat on her, as _Julio_ has? I stand as little on my Word as he: a good round Oath or two had done the Business.--But a pox on’t, I lov’d too well to be so wise.

[Silvio _comes up to him_.

_Sil_. _Con licentia_, Signior; is your Name _Galliard_?

_Gal_. I am the Man, sweet Heart,--let me behold thee--hah--_Sans Coeur’s_ Page!

_Sil_. A duce of his Lanthorn, what shall I say now?--Softly, Signior, I am that Page whose chiefest Business is to attend my Lord’s Mistress, Sir.

_Cor_. His Mistress! whose Mistress, what Mistress? S’life, how that little Word has nettled me! [_Aside, listening close_.

_Gal_. Upon my Life, the Woman that he boasted of-- [_Aside, hugging of himself_.] --A fair young amorous--noble--Wanton--a--And she wou’d speak with me, my lovely Boy?

_Sil_. You have prevented the Commands I had; but should my Lord know of it--

_Gal_. Thou wert undone, I understand thee-- And will be secret as a Confessor, As lonely Shades, or everlasting Night. Come, lead the way.

_Cor_. Where I will follow thee, though to the Bed of her thou’rt going to, and even prevent thy very Business there. [_Aside_.]

[_Exeunt_.