Part 32
Meanewhile here arrived the French Gallies, fetching home Chevalier du Vandum, the Prior of France from Malta: Who scouring the coast of the lower Barbary, their fortune was to fall upon a misfortunate English ship belonging to Captaine Pennington, which they as a Cursaro or man of Warre confiscated. Their Anchors fallen, I boorded the Queenes Galley, where to my great griefe I found a Countrey-man of speciall acquaintance, [The Mr. of a Scots ship distressed by evill misfortune.] George Gib of Burrowtownenes (who was Pylot to the English) fast chained to an oare, with shaven head and face: Who had his owne shippe twice seazed on by the Turkes, and Mamora, which ship he lastly recovered at the Ile Sardinia, and sold her at Naples being miserably worme-eaten. To whose undeserved miseries, in my charitable love, I made a Christian oath, that at my arrivall in England, I should procure by the helpe of his friends, his Majesties letters to the Duke of Guyse Admirall, for his deliverance. But soone thereafter, being of a great spirit, his heart broke, and so died in Marseils.
Tempora labuntur, tacitisque senescimus annis, Et fugiunt fræno, non remorante Dies.
Times slide away, gray haires come posting on, No reyne can hold, our dayes so swiftly gon.
Departing from Putzolo, we came to the Sulphatara, where the fine Brimstone is made, which is a pretty incircling Plaine, standing upon a moderate hight; having three vents, through two of which, the smoaking flame ariseth, and the other produceth no fire; but after an excessive raine surgeth sixe foote high with blacke boyling water, which continueth so long as the rayne lasteth.
From thence (our Guide leaving us) we came to Grotto di cane; wherein if a Dogge be cast he will suddenly die, and taken thence, and cast in the Lake, he will forthwith revive: This Grotto or Cave, standeth on the side and root of a sulphure hill, the brinke of Lago di Avagno: We desirous to make tryall of a Dog; and finding the fellow that purposely stayeth there somewhat extortionable, I adventured in stead of a Dog to make tryall of my selfe; Whereupon Maister Stydolffe holding up the quartered doore, I entered to the further end thereof, bringing back a warme stone in each hand from thence: whereat the Italians swore, I was a Divell and not a man: for behold (say they) there was a French Gentleman the former yeare, who in a Bravado, would needes goe in: whereupon hee was presently stifled to death, and here lyeth buried at the mouth of the Grotto to serve for a caveat, to all rash and unadvised strangers to doe the like.
[The dangerous Dogs Cave neare unto Putzolo.] The relation indeed was true, but I counting nothing of it, would needes (sore against the Gentleman and Master Woods will) goe in againe, where entred to the bottome being ten paces long, the moysty and choaking heat did so suffocate and benumbe my senses, that with much adoe I returned backe; where receiving the fresh ayre, and a little Wine, I presently forgot my former trance: which when the Dog-keeper saw, he for an easie composition made triall of his Dog; and having tyed a string to his hinder leg, he cast the Dog scarce halfe way in the Cave, where immediately his tongue hanging out, he fell downe dead: And forthwith his Master repulling him backe, cast him in the Lake, powring in water in his eares, but hee could never recover his life. Whereupon the poore man cried out, alas I am undone, what shall I doe, the Dog that wonne my dayly food is dead; in compassion whereof the worthy Gentleman doubled his wages.
In our way and returne to Naples, we passed through Virgils Grot, being halfe a mile long, and cut through the maine body of a Rocke, whereby the Mountaine of Cataia by the Sea-side is made passable; at the East end whereof neare the Cyme of the vault is Virgils Tombe: and arrived at Naples, Mr. William Stydolffe reporting to divers of his Countrey Gentlemen and mine, of my adventure in Grotto di Cane, they could hardly be perswaded to beleeve it: But when avouched, they all avowed I had done that (so did divers Neapolitans) which never man had done before me reserving life.
Bidding farewell to my generous friends, I marched through Terra di lavoro, and in the way of Saint Germane, and Mount Cassino to Rome; within ten miles of Capua, [Great poverty under great titles.] I found the poorest Bishop (Nomen sine re) the world affoordeth: having no more (nor never had he, nor any before him) than dui Carolini or Juletti twelve pence a day to spend. So is there many a Marquesse, Earle, Baron, and Knight in Italy, who is unable at one time, to keepe a foote-man at his heeles, a Dog at his foote, a Horse betweene his legs, a good sute of clothes on his backe, and his belly well fed; so glorious be their stiles, and so miserable their revenewes.
Touching at Rome, I secretly borrowed one nights lodging there, and at the breach of day another houres sight and conference, with my Cousing Simeon Grahame; who ere the Sunne arose, crossing Ponto flamingo, brought me on in my journey, till a high way Taverne like a Jayle held us both fast, where leaving our reciprocall loves behind us, wee divided our bodies East and West.
And now ere I leave Rome, I thinke it best, to let our Papists here at home, see the shamefull lives & cruell deaths, of most of their Popes beyond Seas: which their owne best Authors in France, Italy, and Spaine, have justly & condignely avouched & recorded; & authorized also to light by their prime powers civil and spirituall. The papists generally hold, that in their Popes, is all power; Super omnes Potestates, tam Cæli quam Terræ; above all powers both in Heaven and Earth: They tearme him Alter Deus in terris; a second God upon the Earth: Deus mortalis in terris, et immortalis homo in Cælis; a mortall god upon the Earth, and an Immortall man in the Heavens: Some of them have allotted, that he is, Non deus, non homo, sed utrunque; neyther God nor man but both: The Popes former title was Servus servorum Dei; and they call him Rex Regum, Dominus Dominantium, King of Kings, and Lord of Lords.
[The false and arrogant titles of the Pope.] Paul the third, entering Tolentino in the vale of Ombria joyning with Tuscany, had this salutation: Paulo tertio, Maximo, in terris Deo; to Paule the third, the best, and greatest God on earth. Then since they will have them gods, above the God of Gods; tell me I pray you, what a May pole Dauncer, was John 12. alias 13. of 18. yeares old, who made the Lateran their great Church in Rome, a playne Stewes or Brothel house.
What a Pope-boy of twelve yeares old, was Benedict the ninth? and after wrought by inchantments. Another Pope they had, whom they called Unum pecus, in co quod de mane faciebat gratiam, et de sero revocabat: A very Asse, for in the morning hee would grant many great kindnesses, and at night revoake them all agayne. What a thiefe was Pope Boniface the seventh? who robbed St. Peters Church? What a sodomiticall Pope was Sixtus the fourth; who builded Stewes of both kindes, granting his Cardinals the use of Sodomy, for three hote moneths. What an Atheisticall Pope, was Leo the tenth? who called the Gospell a Fable. What a Hereticall Pope was Honorius the first? who by sixe general Counsels, was condemned for a Monothelit: What a perjured Pope was Gregory the twelfth? and openly forsworne: What a Negromancer was Silvester the second? who gave himselfe both soule and body to the divell, to attaine the Popedome: What was Pope John the eleventh, but a bastardly brat to Pope Sergius? What a sorcerer, Charmer, and Conjurer, was Hildebrand, called Gregory the seventh? given to all beastlinesse, and diabolicall practices; this was he that threw the Sacrament in the fire: What was [A tract of beastly Popes and cruell Villaines.] Innocent the third? who was branded with this black marke, non est innocentius, imo nocens vere, he is not innocent; but very nocent: What a wicked and cruell murtherer was John the twelfth a Romane borne, who caused to cut off the nose of one Cardinall, and the thumbe of another Cardinall; onely because they had wrot the whole tract of his abhominable vices to the Emperour Otho.
What an inhumane and homicidious Pope was Stephanus the seventh? who after he had cancelled the decrees of his predecessour Formosus, caused to deterre his dead body, cut off his fingers, and lay him in the fields to be devoured with the fowles of the aire: What a beastly Pope was Sergius the third? that after he had imprisoned Christopholus his predecessor, he caused to draw out the corps of Pope Formosus his old compeditor from the grave, and cut off his head, as though hee had beene alive.
What a cruelty was shown upon John the 17. who after he was depraved his Papacy, had his eyes pulled out, his nose cut off and his members, and was hanged: What a poysonable Pope was Damasus? who poysoned his predecessour Clemens the second, to attaine the Papality, and yet dyed within a moneth there after being Pope: What a mercilesse Pope was Boniface the seventh, that after he had Rob'd Saint Peters Church and fled to Constantinople, hearing that Pope John the 14. was replaced, he returned, and pulling out his eyes, did cast him in prison, where he dyed of extreame hunger. What a persecution had Gelase borne in Gaetta neare Naples, who first by the Romanes was imprisoned, then stoned through the Citty, miserably dyed. Gregory the 8. succeeding him, was Deposed by Caliste brother to the Duke of Burgondy, who imprisoned the other, and starving him to Death, made him selfe Pope.
What devotion fell out from the braines of Rome, to stone Pope Lucius the second to Death: What a shamefull division was in your Papality; for fifty yeares, when Urbanus lived Pope at Rome and his Successours; and Clemens 7. and his Successors at Avigneon. Nay, you have had three Popes at one time; even when Sigismond King of Hungary and Boheme was elected Emperour, to wit. [Three severall Popes living at one time.] Benedict 3. at Avigneon; John 23. at Bullogna; and Gregory the twelfth at Rimini: I pray you, could every one of them open and shut the Gates of Heaven and Hell. What an Infidell, was Pope John 22. who denied the immortality of the Soule.
What was Clement the 5. but an open Whore munger and a drunken sot. What was Boniface the 8. he was called a Theefe, a Robber, and rooted in all unspeakable sinnes, the eight Nero of Rome. What a furious and wicked Pope, was Julius the second? who given more to Warre then to Christ, cast Saint Peters keyes (as they call them) into Tiber. What a prophaine skoffer of Christ, was Paule the third? who lying in bed with his owne Cousin Laura Farnesia, was sore wounded by her Husband; he lay with his owne Daughter, and poysoned her Husband; and then lay with his owne sister, and after poysoned both her and his owne mother. What was Julius the third? an open Sodomite, and horrible blasphemer. What was Pope Eugenius? a damnable scandalizer of the Church, and condemned by the Counsel of Basil, for an incorrigible and wilfull Hereticke. Pope John 23. was deposed by the Counsell of Constance, for Heresie, Symony, Murther, Enchantment, Adultery, and [The Papists may looke here upon divellish Popes.] worst of all for Sodomy. What was Pope John 13. a vilde monster in his life, committing incest with both his sisters, and fathers Concubine Stephana: Hee was a gamster, and playing at Dice, did call for helpe to the Divel, and would drinke to the Divels health; hee was repleate with all abhominable vices; at last being taken in the acte of Adultery, was wounded to Death.
Boniface the 8. afore named, came to bee Pope, by cousning his predecessour Celestine, in speaking through the Wall in a Reed (as if it had beene a voyce from Heaven) admonished him to surrender his Papacy; whose Epithit was thus: Intravit ut Vulpes, Regnavit ut Lupus, Mortuus est ut Canis: He came in like a Fox, he ruled like a Wolfe, he dyed like a Dogge.
At the sixt Counsell of Carthage, was not the treachery and falshood of Pope Zosimus, condignely sifted out, in corrupting for ambitious government the Counsell of Nyce. Bernard about 500. yeares agoe, complayned much of the Tyranny of popes in his time, calling them Defrauders, Raveners, Traytors, darknesse of the world, Pilats, Wolves, and Divels.
Albertus Magnus affirmeth, that they who now governe their Church, are for the most part Theeves and Murtherers. And Platina, calleth some of their popes vile Monsters, uncleane beasts, and strange creatures. And I remember it was noted by a Historian: Episcopos Romanos ne peccata quidem sine laude committere: The Popes could do nothing, were it never so mischievous, but it was commendable.
And even likewise are their prime Pardons, for Noxas preteritas, aut futuras: and their future potestatem, tam quo ad commissa, quam quo ad committenda crimina absolvenda; That his Holinesse hath all manner of power, as well to absolve them from crimes to commit, as from crimes committed. And I remember about twenty yeares [A false cannonized Saint.] ago Paulo Papa quinto, Cannonized Carolo Borrameo, the late Bishop of Milane for a notable Saint, being knowne to bee a notorious and scelerate liver: done sooner by fifteene yeares then their ordinary time, and that for the touch of forty thousand Duckats; allotting Prayers, Miracles, Pardons, and Pilgrimages to him, and erecting a new Order of Friers, and Monasteries unto him. And yet the poore Bishop of Lodi, a good and charitable liver by all reports, could never, nor cannot attayne to the dignity of a Saint, his meanes was so small when dead, and his friends so poore being alive.
And how wonderfull absurd is the Popes Bulla di Santa Cruzada, pro defunctis in Purgatory; that for one Pater noster, at a Masse saying, or a Masse sayd for them: Sicavano fuora dalla Purgatorio, tre anime qualche ci vogliano, viz. You shall relieve any three soules out of Purgatory whom you please. Nay, I have seene the Popes Edict so gracious, that induring one Masse, as many Paters as you can recite, as many soules you free from thence.
And thus me thinketh in one halfe yeare, he might soone empty that purging pit: Yet unlesse the Suppliant touch with his finger, during his Prayers, a gaudy beede inraveled betweene five small fast made irons, placed before the Altar; their Bulla, their payment for it; their Paters, their Devotion for their friends soules, are all lost. Then say, if peradventure, the friends of the defunct be oblivious in this officiousnesse, and neglect both the Ceremony, and Pater noster, might not the Pope justly be reputed a cruell Monster, that for want of pattering an abridged Pater, his Cerberian Office in Hell, should detayne any poore soule in such torments, as they say are in Purgatory.
Infinite passages of the like kind could I Recite, if I had longer time and larger leisure; and especially of their miraculous leyes, or leying Miracles; in erecting of falshood, and maintayning of perjury; but till a fitter occasion, I will revert to my Itinerary Discourse, and so proceede. Having left my afore-sayde friend Maister Grahame, at a Taverne at Bilbo neere to Rome, I set forward through the vaile of Ombria and the Countrey Romania, [Ravenna the chiefe City of Romania.] whereof Ravenna is Lady, and the Pope Lord, I arrived (the way of Ferrara and Padua) at Venice. Who then was levying an Army against the Croatian Scokes of Gradisca, and the Duke of Grasso now Emperour. Of which Army Count Mansfield was Generall, and with whom I crossed the Gulfe to Pola in Istria, and from thence to the siege of Gradisca: The discourse whereof, I have here formerly avouched in the second Part of my first Travailes. Now to speake of a Souldier, certainely hee is more then prayse-worthy and fortunate, that hath faced the Low-Countries, reviewed Briscia in Lombardy, and footed and sighted the Arsenal of Venice, then his eyes have first seene, the sonnes, the force, the policies and Kingdome of Mars: Secondly, the fiery shoppe of Vulcan, where rarest Armes and Weapons are hammer'd out upon the Anvill, for the honour of Mars; and lastly the incomparable Armory or store-house for Sea and Land, the Meggazin and treasury of Mars.
Now leaving both the Armies barking at other like to Hircanian wolves, I traced the fertile soyles of Carindia, Carneola, [Vienne in Austria no way answerable to common fame.] and Stria even to Vienna: all which were subject to the Emperour, save a part of Carneola, that groanes under the Turke. Being arrived at Vienne, I found the Towne, and the flying fame of it far different, either for greatnesse, strength, or wealth: for the Towne rising upon a moderat height circular, is but of small compasse without, not passing two English miles.
The suburbs round about, being twice as great as the Towne; and the strength of it is no way comparable to a hundred Cities that I have seene, neither is it for wealth so much to be admired, being depraved of Seas, shipping, and navigation, having onely the needfull prosperity of dry land Townes.
Here I found a Turkish Ambassadour, going downe the Champion Danubio of Europe, for Constantinople; and with him one Gratianus, a Greeke his Interpreter, to whose familiar love I was much obliged; and with whom I imbarked downe the River to Presburge a place where the Hungarian Crowne is kept, and from thence discending the River to Comorre, the downemost Towne the Emperour retayneth on Danubio, I left my noble Interpreter, and traversed the Champaine Countrey.
The chiefe Townes whereof I wil briefly touch, and so proceed: Buda is the capitall Citie of Hungary, wherein the Turkish Bassaw hath his residence, and was taken in by Solyman the Emperour, the twenty of August 1526. the other is the aforesaid Presburge, aunciently Bosonia; the rest are Belgrad or Albegrek, aunciently Taurinum, in Dutch Griechs: Weissenberge, that was taken by Soliman, 1520. Valpa, and Singidum, upon the Danubio, both under the Turke, and that of the seven Churches upon the River Drana taken in, in the yeare one thousand five hundred and forty three, and Zigeth taken also in the yeare one thousand five hundred sixty sixe.
[The special Townes of Hungary.] Moreover upon the Danubio, the Towne Strigonium commonly Grana, and Alberoyall otherwise Stulvesenburg, a place destined for the Sepultures and Coronations of the Kings of Hungary, and was taken by the Turkes, Anno 1543.
Neare the same place is Stridon, where they say St. Jerome was borne: And now above all other the strong Towne of Gamorra, standing in an Ile of the Danuby of that same name, which the Turkes have so oft besieged, yet never could surprise it.
There is also Tockay, and Januarin or Rab seated too upon Danuby, a Towne as it were impregnable, yet it was overtaken by the Turkes, and lastly recovered by the Christians.
[The forces of the Bassa of Buda.] The Beglerbeg of Buda, hath under his command, eight thousand Timariots, and twelve thousand common Souldiers which lye in Garrison, in continuall pay on the confines of Hungary, Croatia, and Dacia, and these confines belonging to the house of Austria: The Bassa hath under his authority 13. Sanzacks, lying at these thirteene Townes here undernamed, to wit, Novaguard, Semendria, Simontorno, Zetshen, Ecclesiæ, Sirnium, Capan, Zornock, Alba Regalis, Sigedin, Mucchatz, Zegedin, and Sexard.
The other Beglerbegship of Hungary is at Temesara, who retaineth under his command eight Sanzacks and as many jurisdictions, spreading his authoritie over sixe thousand Timariots, and eight thousand foote souldiers; and these Sanzacks lying at Temesara, Lippa, Itishinad, Mudania, &c. The great Turke hath eight Beglerbegs or Bassawes under him in Europe; that of Bosna being one of them, who commandeth ten Sanzacks and eight thousand Timariots; the residence of which Bassa is at Bagivialezza, a commodious place lying in the midst of circulating Provinces; over which he spreads the Ballucco of his power.
[Hungary is a most fertile and fruitfull soyle.] The soyle of Hungary aboundeth infinitly in all things the earth can produce for the well of man; and produceth admirable good Wines, the best whereof grow neare and about the Towne of Sirmia, and so sweet, that they may compare with the Wines of Candy, yea, and aboundeth in all kind of bestiall, that it is thought this Kingdome may furnish all Europe with Beefe and Mutton.
The Hungarians are descended of the Hunnes, a people of Scythia or Tartary. The auncient Inhabitants divided their habitations in nine circles, which the Germanes named Hagyes, and impaled them with high walles, made [The first plantation of Hungary.] of earth and wood, being twenty foote high, and as much in breadth, being rampierd with divers Bulwarks and Towers of earth, whereon grew all sorts of hearbes, and fructiferous trees.
The space from side to side of each one of these circles, amounted to twenty Dutch miles; the Townes, Villages and houses being within, and so contrived, that each one was within cry of another: this was the first admirable plantation of the Hunnes in this Kingdome.
The Hungarians have ever beene thiftuous, treacherous and false, so that there one brother will hardly trust another, which infidelity among themselves and distracted deceitfull governours, was the chiefest cause of their overthrow and subjection under Infidels: And so have corrupt Counsellors, and insolent Princes beene the ruine of their owne Kingdomes; for if we would have a Prince fit to governe others, and to direct him selfe with the square rules of wisdome and judgement, to know how to become all places, and to use all fortunes; let him bind his tender youth with a disposition temperd with sadnesse: for such a man can neither seduce his minority with ill examples, nor marre his waxen age with a false impression, too common a condition of these dissolute times.
[The infinite riches of Hungary.] Now as for the Hungar soyle, and Kingdome it selfe, and for the goodnes of it, it may be tearmed the girnell of Ceres, the Garden of Bachus, the Pastorage of Pan, and the richest beauty of Silvan: for I found the Wheat here growing higher then my head, the Vines over looking the trees, the Grasse jusling with my knees, and the high-sprung Woods, threatning the clouds: surely if I should enter on particulars here, I have more subject to worke upon, than any Kingdome that ever I saw: The Kingdome is divided in two parts, the higher and the lower, the lowest, largest, and best is under the Turke, and the other narrow proportion under the Emperour.
The Hungarian miles are the longest upon earth, for every one of theirs, is sixe of our Scots miles, nine English: so that the most that ever I could travell there in one day, was but sixe miles: Their language hath no affinity with any other kind of speech, and yet the greatest part of the Countrey both under the Turke and Emperour are Protestants, and are the best of all the rest, the other being Arians and Papists.
There is a great Gentry in this Kingdome, but untravelled abroad, farre lesse mannerly at home, being luxurious and ill taught, and damnably given to that Masculine misery, the whole Southerne World is defiled with. Having now traversed all the Countrey to Grana, and so to Gatterad in Valechia, I found the Country so covered with Woods, and them full of Murtherers (for I was robbed on these confines, and hardly saved my life) I was constrayned I say, to returne to Tockai in the higher Hungary, and from thence in one day I stepped into Transilvania.