Part 1
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THE THREAD OF LIFE
THE THREAD OF LIFE
BY
H.R.H. THE INFANTA EULALIA OF SPAIN
WITH A REMBRANDT PHOTOGRAVURE FRONTISPIECE, FOUR FULL-PAGE PLATES, AND A NOTE ON THE AUTHOR AND HER BOOK
CASSELL AND COMPANY, LTD. London, New York, Toronto and Melbourne 1912
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
PREFACE
Some preface, however short, is needed to this book, the mirror of some of my ideas, and, first of all, I wish to put my readers on their guard against a false interpretation of the motives by which I have been actuated.
In publishing these opinions of mine, it has not been my wish to accomplish a literary work. I have not aimed at any display of learning, and I make no pretence of forcing on anyone my different points of view.
As a spectator in close enough contact with present social problems to understand all the points under discussion, yet at the same time sufficiently removed from them to analyse them coolly and judge them without prejudice, I bring forward my evidence unshackled by conventions. It has seemed to me that such fair, exact evidence might interest those who seek to glean, amongst all classes of society, the thousand dissimilar and contradictory elements whence proceed the lessons needed both for the present and the future.
Those who care to glance through the short chapters of this book will soon see that they have been written with the sincere conviction with which I always express my ideas and opinions, or perform any work independently undertaken.
I only ask my readers to excuse any faults of style, which I have tried to make up for by straightforwardness of tone.
EULALIA
Infanta of Spain
CONTENTS
PAGE
GENERAL CAUSES OF HAPPINESS 3
THE EDUCATION OF THE WILL 11
HONESTY 19
FRIENDSHIP 25
DIVORCE 33
THE FAMILY 45
THE COMPLETE INDEPENDENCE OF WOMAN 53
THE WAR AGAINST FEMINISM 61
THE EQUALISING OF CLASSES BY EDUCATION 69
SOCIALISM 77
THE WORKING CLASSES 85
DOMESTIC SERVICE 93
INTERNATIONAL SCHOOLS 101
THE NECESSITY OF RELIGION AND ITS INFLUENCE OVER THE PEOPLE 109
THE PRESS 117
MORALITY 125
PUBLIC OPINION 133
PREJUDICES 139
JUDGMENT 145
THE FEAR OF RIDICULE 151
MORAL COURAGE 159
TRADITIONS 167
CRITICISM 175
THE DANGER OF EXCESSIVE ANALYSIS 181
THE LAW OF COMPENSATION 187
THE AUTHOR AND HER BOOK 195
GENERAL CAUSES OF HAPPINESS
THE THREAD OF LIFE
General Causes of Happiness
The most imperative motive of all human actions is the desire to be happy. But it is difficult to attain happiness if the search for it is made the constant aim of one’s life, although the primordial craving for it is an instinct in our nature.
The art of living is one in which we are but ill instructed by philosophers, scientists and metaphysicians; the first, because they leave the meaning of life as it is to show us some end in view; the second, because they are but rationalist theorists; and the last, because they claim to be able to lift the veil from the Beyond. The truth is that life is worth living, and that in order to live happily one must know how to draw from life a relative amount of happiness.
Simply by realising the charm of the pleasures--small though they be--which every instant of the day offers us, one may create for oneself a source of happiness, for this realisation gives what is usually called the _joie de vivre_ (the joy of living), the principle in all happy nature.
Unfortunately, in the majority of cases, man does not see clearly the road leading to happiness because he is seeking it in the immediate and complete satisfaction of his desires, in material or intellectual delights whose worth he exaggerates; in superfluity, in possession, in all that he takes for happiness, but which is in reality mere enjoyment allied to fears, dangers, and regrets.
It is necessary, first of all, to simplify the causes of happiness. To illustrate my doctrine, I ask everyone to imagine the idyll in its true form, that is to say, as being the perfect presentment of the sentiment of love. Simplicity, whether in personal tastes, in the affections, or in daily actions, is the great secret of happiness.
With our nature, however justifiable it may be to acquaint ourselves with partial and transitory satisfactions, we cannot build up happiness on so fragile a foundation. Fortune is unstable; notoriety, whatever its cause, fades with time; glory is a vain word; health declines, and all is ruin and sorrow everywhere, save where complete satisfaction has been built up by continually aspiring towards the True, the Beautiful, and the Good.
Again, that aspiring must be the result of cultivating, in all simplicity, our mental “_=I=_.” Happiness lies in the depths of ourselves; it is by the right development of our personality that we may bring it into manifestation, make of it the enfolding comfort of our days.
Is it not true, that in love, if you live in the spirit, you possess more happiness than if you live in the senses? It is the same with material existence; simplified, reduced to the normal exercise of our faculties, it brings us a greater share of happiness than does excess. All the vices of our nature furnish but a momentary satisfaction, and that not unmixed with bitterness.
But how shall we attain to the development of our mental personality? First of all by the training of our Self, then by the selection of affinities. In this way each one, conscious of his own true desires, may bring around him those whose tastes and feelings are in harmony with his own. So may he avoid the painful and regrettable shocks and collisions which lead fatally to strife, from which combative and provocative natures cannot emerge without wounds, weariness, or disgust.
If you are obliged to live in a country different from your own, or amid surroundings where the mental atmosphere does not harmonise with yours, face the situation coolly; learn to be by turns the wise teacher and the willing disciple: in this way you will become understood, appreciated, and you will preserve intact your inner happiness.
You must learn to pass through moral and intellectual atmospheres as you pass through those of the physical world. Just as you put on the costume suitable to the season, so must your spirit assume the costume adapted to its surroundings. Many people fear life, they are in despair over the least ill-success; they tack about, dreading to enter the haven, and their mistakes vex and disconcert them. Remember that there is no circumstance which should cast you down or prevent your enjoying life, because, I repeat, happiness is inward content, a supporting spirit which one may attain in spite of the worst vicissitudes or unavoidable catastrophes. Since inward happiness proceeds from a habit of character produced by the training of oneself, the cultivation of simplicity, and adapting oneself to the uncongenial, it is necessary to submit to these things if one would steer his barque skilfully and taste all that constitutes the supreme enjoyment of life.
He who has followed these precepts will be able, when his days begin to decline, to look back calmly on the past. As he has drawn from every circumstance in his life the greatest possible good, as he will possess the certainty of having injured no one, he will see with infinite tranquillity the gates of Death opening before him; more especially if he has also cultivated a love of Nature, for the pleasure it gives by its restfulness and its eternal loveliness.
THE EDUCATION OF THE WILL
The will is the faculty of freely determining to do certain actions. But in order that the will may always be the result of ideas noble in aim, it is necessary to give it some training, through the investigation of conflicting causes and motives.
As Ribot says: “The _I will_ declares a situation, but does not constitute one.” To constitute a situation requires the formation of character, which is nothing more than will power. And this may be obtained by a progressive training, the secret cultivation of one’s personality.
The human being should impress upon all his actions a unity of aim, and show forth his character in what he does.
The education of the will, then, is indispensable in life, if only for the avoidance of useless effort and to give us clearness of moral sight. This training brings us to the mastery of ourselves, to steady persistence in action, and uniformity of conduct. Thus considered, the will assumes paramount importance in the life of the individual, and forms one of the most powerful forces in the world--free and willing action under the control of sound judgment.
If you educate your will, _desiring that which is good, beautiful and just_, you will never undertake mental work at a time when inauspicious circumstances make it liable to failure; nothing which you undertake will remain unachieved; you will follow no aim whose fulfilment does not seem to you certain.
The immortal Guyau says: “He whose action is not in accordance with his thought, thinks incompletely.” Now, in order to think completely, an idea must be solidly based upon knowledge. And knowledge is the result of the education of the will.
Let us make no mistake, such training gives us force which is invaluable. A man, having considered the action he is about to perform, perceived what will be its results, grasped its utility, and shaped it to the end in view, may safely obey his will, provided his moral sense is satisfied. He thus assumes, in full understanding, the responsibility of his actions.
The effect of this idea of responsibility is that the individual will becomes answerable to itself only. From the moment the education of the will is completed, personal determination is almost instantaneous. The result is the avoidance of loss of time--we no longer exhaust ourselves in hesitation, questionings, indecision. Besides, as we are able to bring into play, through mental use, the forces which are ours, the sense of freedom grows stronger, and with it the sense of possessing the power to attain the end in view.
The education of the will is of such utility that, without it, the intellect is powerless to influence action. That is the reason why, in these days, so many intellectual people are the victims of hesitation and doubt, incapable of reasoned and logical action.
A trained will brings great stability into a man’s life, first because it enables him to do everything at the right time, then because it prevents conflicting feelings, by strengthening the reasoning powers; and, through systematised thought, saves him from those emotional storms which are as injurious to health as to free play of the will.
Let us no longer forget that all truly profitable actions and strong characters are the work of the will.
Timidity, to specify amongst qualities detrimental to the intellect, only comes from a lack of will-training, being a form of over-emotionalism without control. He who is ignorant of the laws which govern feeling, will be unable to act according to the dictates of reason.
I must make it clear that, in speaking of the education of the will, I do not mean moral restraint. The individual should feel himself at liberty, bound only by an ideal of goodness which repudiates all thought of authority; neither claiming nor suffering it.
This ideal, inseparable from our conception of what is useful both to ourselves and others, always takes form through the education of our will; giving consistency to the expression of feeling, and justifying us in our actions.
To envelop oneself in an idea, so that nothing has power to distract--to withdraw, concentrate upon it, burn for its realisation, obey its laws--such are the principal features of will-training, by means of which our actions and feelings, far from losing in strength, acquire greater force.
Violence and precipitation are foes to all wisely planned action. What one loses in intensity by calm reflection, one gains in quality as the result of this law.
If you train your will wisely, you will double the worth of existence; you will leave undone what is useless, you will realise to the full the purpose of your soul.
And, as all your actions will be performed with the approval of your own spirit, you will know the joy of well-doing.
HONESTY
Honesty, the quality corresponding to honour, may be said to be relative, according to the customs of different countries. For mankind generally, honesty consists in not exceeding the limits of licensed dishonesty. Thus in commerce, which is, at bottom, a cheating game, integrity is not, as Dr. Dubois says, the same everywhere. “There are communities, little cultivated in other respects, where it is observed scrupulously; there are others in which, in spite of scientific, artistic and literary development, this moral perception seems to be atrophied. A people whose business honesty is proverbial may have a very elastic conscience in regard to morality between the sexes.”
In the professions, or in social positions which place the individual above the mass of people, a man’s honesty consists in adapting his conscience to the circumstances of the moment.
In questions of commercial or industrial enterprise, intellectual ventures, public or private morals, general or particular interests, masculine honesty is an adjustable matter which springs from the desire for free action, without infringing upon the law.
Woman’s honesty is quite a different matter. It consists simply in safeguarding the “honour of the home,” in keeping away all “intruders” upon the sacred ground of marriage, and in averting any fracas tending to diminish the authority of the man, the husband, the owner, and free the feminine soul from its ancestral slavery.
This is why men and women cannot be in perfect accord, so long as honesty, taken in the widest sense, is not the same for both. Based upon respect for what is fair, just and good, honesty has essentially no sex. Whether strict or comparative, it does not imply a different moral law for individuals of different natures.
This primordial question has always been treated too lightly, though it has been the source of continual misunderstanding, especially in matrimonial questions.
How many examples one could give of want of scruple violating the idea of honesty and responsibility!
How many sins, grave in themselves, are committed by men in power, knowing themselves safe from the arm of the law; how many actions, unpunishable, yet which are an outrage upon the liberty of others, a breach of respect for human nature, and an injury to society!
How many men sacrifice, for the sake of ambition, their country’s vital interests, and incur no censure save that of powerless public opinion!
The orator who, in a moment of national excitement, throws his visionary dreams and interested lies broadcast into the press; the leader who, in full consciousness of his abominable work, deceives the people; the perjured politician who denies his convictions to attain promotion, should all have their honour called in question. To such as these, as to others, woman owes respect and obedience, without the option of comparing her own honour, based on imperative duty, with that of these empty talkers and tub-orators.
It is true that, on the other hand, a woman may, without censure, give out that her dearest friend’s husband is making love to her--that she may thus, by a word, destroy a home’s peace--without any pangs of conscience, and without the man attacked being able to call her to account.
In the relations between men and women some solution should be found by which both may be placed on equal ground as regards morality and responsibility. In this way loss of esteem between them would be avoided, and the value of each enhanced.
But, to obtain such a result, tolerance and the principle of harmony must first be taught; men must become less selfish, and women learn that their life is not only a work of love but a work of reason. Social rights must be equalised in the light of conscience and moral responsibility. In fact, thorough sincerity must bring about loyalty both in business and private affairs, creating a moral atmosphere in which forgery, fraud, plagiarism, the lie that corrupts the soul of a people, all the monstrous growths of our modern society, can no longer exist. Then honesty, from being comparative, will become supreme, incumbent equally upon man and woman, bound no longer only by social, but by moral ties.
FRIENDSHIP
Friendship, taken in its strict sense, that is to say as affection exempt from the attraction of the senses, plays an immense part in the lives of men and women.
Friendship, as between men, is based on moral equality. The tie uniting two minds and two hearts creates the same rights and the same duties for each of the friends, no matter how different their degree of fortune and rank in the world. Where friendship is, there is reciprocity. This is what made La Boétie, Montaigne’s great friend, say: “Friendship is a sacred name, it is a holy thing.... There can be no friendship where there is cruelty, disloyalty, or injustice.... The wicked are not friends, but accomplices.”
I must quote here an admirable passage from Emerson, whose judgment is sound concerning what is high, great and forceful in the dual character of Friendship: “The sufficient reply to the sceptic, who doubts the power of the furniture of man, is in that possibility of joyful intercourse with persons, which makes the faith and practice of all reasonable men. I know of nothing life has to offer so satisfying as the profound good understanding which can subsist, after much exchange of good offices, between two virtuous men, each of whom is sure of himself, sure of his friend. It is a happiness which postpones all other gratifications, and makes politics, and commerce, and churches, cheap. For, when men shall meet as they ought, each a benefactor, a shower of stars, clothed with thoughts, with deeds, with accomplishments, it should be a festival of Nature which all things announce. Of such friendship, love in the sexes is the first symbol, as all other things are symbols of love. These relations to the best men--which, at one time, we reckoned the romances of youth--become, in the progress of character, the most solid enjoyment.”
Friendship between women is somewhat different from that between men, just because it excludes the feeling of equality. It is very rare, in spite of the best education, that a woman will forget her rank and fortune with a friend who becomes her protégée. It is no less rare when a woman in a humble position does not resent any outward inequality. The result is that friendship between women is not a continual delightful exchange of feeling and opinion, but rests more on interest.
One of the most beautiful forms of friendship, as some think, is that between man and woman. Between persons of the highest education and refined tastes, such friendship not only plays a great part in life, but becomes a necessity, for it increases the intellectual power of both parties. It is very like disinterested love, and is governed by secret influences which give it its value. Certain people have the gift of drawing out our confidences; there are others the very sight of whom makes our heart rejoice. Our spiritual force, our eloquence, often come into play simply through the presence of such a beloved friend.
There is a peculiar feeling of confidence between the sexes; friendship between a man and a woman has something in it graver, deeper than any other. Even in family relationships, what I call “home friendship” depends entirely on this kind of mutual dependence. Cases are rare of sons turning against their mother, or of sisters who fail their brothers.
Friendship is said to be blind; I believe, on the contrary, that it is clear-sighted as to the duties entailed upon it, and needs no vow to make it binding.
If, for a man, a friend of his own sex is a second self, for a woman a man-friend is at once a confidant, a counsellor and a protector. He represents authority with reverence, incalculable devotion; he becomes the symbol of that Good which signifies refuge from suffering, forgiveness when one has erred.
For a man, a woman friend is everything; yet his feeling for her is the purest in the world, the affection which asks nothing in return.
Yet too great intimacy may kill friendship, which--to quote Emerson again--follows the laws of divine necessity; unless the things of daily life have become of common interest between the friends. But even then the friendship should be in some sort kept in a shrine apart lest it fall into the commonplace.
Yes, truly, the human heart desires a friend. It seeks him everywhere, even from childhood, and when it has found him, it is proud of him as of a victory through which it has won happiness, strength, the incentive to become better. We carry our friend’s eyes in our own; in his absence, they mirror his care for us. His coming strikes a note of triumph in our brain, his presence lightens every moment and makes our happiness. Montaigne did violence to a beautiful gift of the spirit in denying the existence of friendship between men and women; and Nietzsche declares too lightly, and without taking into account the moral worth of the individual, that for the maintenance of friendship between a man and woman a little physical aversion is necessary.
Certainly, Don Juan and Ninon de Lenclos could not have been friends; but it is equally certain that a beautiful woman may win the purest friendship of a charming man, for friendship between man and woman springs from a train of circumstances which lead them into soul fellowship, the sharing of similar tastes, and an affection entirely of the spirit. The constant interchange of high thought, the brotherly and sisterly tone of the relationship, safeguard the friends against becoming lovers.
The nature of each contributes greatly, in these heart unions, to the friendship’s being compatible with prudence and consideration for the feelings of others. It is obvious that a friendship begun between two people of unbalanced mind is almost always fatal, but two dissimilar natures, if morally equal, steady one another by a friendship which becomes for them a safety-valve.