SCENE VI.--_A cabin. It is really an apartment fitted up exactly like

a cabin on a wealthy man's yacht. Not a detail is missing. Even the portholes are there, and you peep out on to a sea of carriages, cabs, vans, and pedestrians. Luxuriously furnished. Table centre: papers scattered about, designs and estimates for scenes--one at a trifle above £1,000--huge pile of letters._

THE MODERN MATHEWS (_very busy--here, there, and everywhere_): Excuse me--M.L.! No, no--not my life--finished with that; my letters! (_Opens one--reads._) Look at that. (_Hands letter._) Fellow wants two for the dress circle. Has no claim on the theatre save his "great love for the drama!" (_Opens another letter._) Ah! nicely scented envelope. (_Reads_): "Dear sir, will you send us two seats for the matinée on Saturday? A gentleman friend told us you _always_ give seats away. We want to come to the afternoon performance, because ma hates theatres, and won't let us go if she can help it!"

INTERVIEWER: Encouraging!

THE MODERN MATHEWS: D.C., my boy, D.C.!

INTERVIEWER: So you're going to send them?

THE MODERN MATHEWS: Send what?

INTERVIEWER: The seats--D.C.--dress circle?

THE MODERN MATHEWS: D.C.--D.C. in this instance is to remind me that it's deuced cheek! Oh! I give them occasionally. I remember once a couple of seats I gave to a policeman. When I am studying a part I like to take long walks in the country--down the lanes. On one occasion I was learning up my character in Gilbert's play of "Foggerty's Fairy." In the last act I am supposed to be mad. On the other hand, I maintain that the keepers appointed over me are mad and not I. I have to describe a murder I am supposed to have committed, and to go through all the details of the crime. This I did once in a secluded nook in the Hampstead Woods--giving it forth at the top of my voice, thoroughly entering into the spirit of the business. A policeman caught sight of me. He had evidently been watching me for some time. Suddenly he made for me, seized me by the collar, and said he should charge me at the station on my own confession! It took a long time to explain--but I succeeded eventually in putting matters straight with the aid of a sovereign and a couple of seats for the first night of "Foggerty"!

_Enter_ CLERK _with more letters_. INTERVIEWER _suggests he shall return in the evening. Mutual consent. A wait of three hours till_--