Category: Humour

The Story Teller of the Desert—"Backsheesh!" or, Life and Adventures in the Orient

_Leaving Home--Our Pilgrimage Begun--Sights and Scenes on Deck--“Life on the Ocean Wave”--Out at Sea--The Traveller’s Little World--Feeling Queer Inside!--Delights of Sea-sickness--Reminiscences of a Jolly Old Boy--What became of the Judge--Bringing up his Liver!--Too Big for...

Chapters

5. CHAPTER V--THROUGH THE CRIMEA--IN AND AROUND SEVASTOPOL.

_A Visit to the Crimea--The Porter with the Big Books--The Danger of Siberia--Our Entry into Sevastopol--Terrible Reminiscences of the Crimean War--How we shirked the Cemetery--...

54. CHAPTER LIV--LAST DAYS IN EGYPT.

_The Last Stroll around the Mooskee--Talking to the Donkey-Boys and Dragomen--A Queer Lot--A Pertinacious Customer--The Judge’s Expedient--A Little Humbug--Rich American Tourist...

1. CHAPTER I--STEAMER-LIFE ON THE ATLANTIC.

_Leaving Home--Our Pilgrimage Begun--Sights and Scenes on Deck--“Life on the Ocean Wave”--Out at Sea--The Traveller’s Little World--Feeling Queer Inside!--Delights of Sea-sickne...

3. CHAPTER III--LIFE AMONG THE MAGYARS.

_A City of renown--Overwhelmed by the Floods--Lying in Clover--What I Saw in the Hungarian Capital--“The Poor Folk’s Bath”--Rather Warm Quarters--Life Among the Magyars--The “Mi...

14. CHAPTER XIV--ATHENS ANCIENT AND MODERN--SIGHTS AND SCENES IN THE GRECIAN CAPITAL.

_First Impressions of Athens--Opinion of the “Doubter”--“Not Worth Damming”--The Oldest Inhabitant of Athens--Celebrated Ruins--Reminiscences of Greek Grammar--A “Big Injun” on...

2. CHAPTER II--SCENES IN VIENNA--DOWN THE DANUBE.

_On English Ground--The Road to the East--Life in the Austrian Capital--Fun and Festivity--Visit to the Big Beer-Garden--Effects of Champagne--Animated Conversation--How Twenty...

4. CHAPTER IV--NEARING THE ORIENT--“BACKSHEESH!

_Among the Fleas--The Mystery of the Bedclothes--A Cool Explanation--Under the Spray--What became of the Dragon--A Queer Story about Flies--What is an “Araba?”--Conversation wit...

17. CHAPTER XVII--ADVENTURES IN QUARANTINE.--RHODES AND ITS MARVELS.

_Missing our Steamer--A Serious Dilemma--A Study of Faces--Making a Row and What Came of It--Under the Yellow Flag--Adventures of a Quarantined Traveller--Escaping the Plague--M...

52. CHAPTER LII--WOMEN AMONG THE MOHAMMEDANS--LIFE IN THE HAREM.

_Polygamy Among the Turks and Arabs--A Full-Stocked Harem--Unveiling the Women--Romantic Adventure--A Brief Flirtation--The “Light of the Harem”--Love at First Sight--How Egypti...

40. CHAPTER XL--THE PASHA AND THE PRIESTS.--EGYPTIAN LANGUAGE--SCHOOLS AND RELIGIOUS CEREMONIES.

_Egypt and her relations with Turkey--The Army and Navy--Egyptian history boiled down--The reigning family--Wonderful Relics--Mohammed Ali as a ruler--The Pasha and the priests-...

15. CHAPTER XV--ROUND ABOUT ATHENS.--THE COUNTRY OF THE BRIGANDS.

_Mars’ Hill, the place where St. Paul Preached on the Unknown God--The Prison of Socrates--The Country of the Brigands--Escorted by Greek Soldiers--Captures by the Brigands--How...

45. CHAPTER XLV--THE DANCING GIRLS OF KENEH.--THE TREASURES OF DENDERAH.

_The Dates and Dancing Girls of Keneh--The Almeh and the Ghawazee--The Dalilahs of Cairo--Going to the Dance-Hall--An Outlandish Orchestra--The Drapery of the Dancers--The Cairo...

41. CHAPTER XLI--THE GREAT PYRAMIDS.--IN THE KINGS’ BURIAL CHAMBERS.

_A Visit to the Great Pyramids--A Fellah not a Fellow--Sakkiehs and Shadoofs--A File of Camels and Donkeys--A striking Spectacle--A horde of Arabs--Troublesome Customers--The Gr...

36. CHAPTER XXXVI--AN INTERVIEW WITH THE KHEDIVE.--LIFE IN THE CITY OF THE NILE.

_The Khedive, who is he?--A hard-worked Pasha--His personal habits--My interview with him--Adventures of an old hat--Arranging ourselves for a royal reception--An eastern Monarc...

46. CHAPTER XLVI--LUXOR, THE CITY OF GIANTS.--AMONG THE MUMMIES OF ANCIENT THEBES.

_Luxor on the Site of Ancient Thebes--A City with a Hundred Gates--Enjoying a Consul’s Hospitality--An American Citizen of African Descent--A Dignified Rhinoceros--Karnak--A Cit...

42. CHAPTER XLII--A VOYAGE UP THE NILE.--THE MYSTERIES OF EGYPTIAN ART AND WORSHIP.

_Up the Nile in a Sail-Boat--Starting for the Cataracts--Advantages of a Drago man--A Tricky Lot--Frauds on Travellers--Our Party--Rather Cosmopolitan--Getting Ahead of Mr. Cook...

16. CHAPTER XVI--THE GLORY OF ATHENS.--ITS SIGHTS, SCENES, RUINS, AND RELICS.

_The Opera at Athens--Handsome Greeks?--The King and Queen--A Lovely Trio--Losing a Heart--Byron’s “Maid of Athens”--How She Looked--Her House and History--The Acropolis by Moon...

44. CHAPTER XLIV--ADVENTURES IN UPPER EGYPT.--FUN AND FROLIC WITH THE NATIVES.

_Siout, the Capital of Upper Egypt--The Pasha’s Palace--An Egyptian Market-day--A Swift Boat--Going the rounds on a Donkey--Town Scenes--The Bazaars--Buying a Donkey--Tinkers, P...

10. CHAPTER X--THE MOSQUES--FAITH AND SUPERSTITIONS OF THE MUSSULMANS.

_Among the Mosques--Their Special Uses--Greek Burglars, their Capture and Execution--A “Firman,” What is it--A Turkish Dragoman--A Relic of Ancient Byzantium--Its Name and Origi...

13. CHAPTER XIII--SYRA, THE MARBLE ISLAND.--LIFE AT AN ATHENIAN HOTEL.

_In sight of Syra--Active Trade in one Fish--A town all built of Marble--The “Doubter” expresses his sentiments--Gustave’s Adventure--Walking on One’s Ear--“A little more beer,...

20. CHAPTER XX--DAMASCUS--THE GARDEN CITY OF THE EAST.

_Dimitri and his hotel--Court-yards and fountain--How people live in Damascus--Parlors, bed-rooms and boudoirs--A bet and its decision--The “Doubter and his Donkey”--The Street...

33. CHAPTER XXXIII--THE HOLY SEPULCHRE, AND SHRINE OF THE CITY OF DAVID

_A Snow-Storm in Jerusalem--The “Doubter’s” Opinion of Gum-Shoes--Kicked by a Vicious Horse--An Obliging Moslem--A Guard of Turks--Bloodthirsty Christians--An Extraordinary Shri...

11. CHAPTER XI--WHIRLING AND HOWLING DERVISHES--WHO AND WHAT THEY ARE.

_The Dervishes of Constantinople, What are They?--How They Live and What They Do--Unclean and Devout Beggars--Where They Bury their Dead--Opening their Circus--Removing the “Dou...

7. CHAPTER VII--CONSTANTINOPLE--THE CITY OF DOGS.

_Human Camels--Canine Colors--The Dogs of Istamboul--Their Appearance and Moral Character--How the Turks regard them--“Inshallah”--Constantinopoli-tan Dogsologies--An Oriental D...

26. CHAPTER XXVI--IN THE HEART OF PALESTINE.

_Bathing in the Sea of Galilee--Standing on holy ground--How the “Doubter” was unhorsed--A second Absalom--Lunching on the summit of Tabor--Saracenic Vengeance--A Reminiscence o...

12. CHAPTER XII--ON THE BOSPHORUS.--AMONG THE ISLES OF GREECE.

_Far-Away Moses, the Famous Guide--His Numerous Brothers--His Shop in the Great Bazaar--An Evening at the “Foreign Club”--Dreaming of Polyglots and the Tower of Babel--More “Bac...

6. CHAPTER VI--ACROSS THE BLACK SEA.

_A Visit to a Russian Police Office--Smith, and what he did--A bad lot of passports--A race after a Governor in a Drosky--More Backsheesh--Delicate administration of a bribe--An...

43. CHAPTER XLIII--LIFE ON THE BANKS OF THE NILE.--COPTS, JUGGLERS, AND THIEVES.--AMUSING EXPERIENCES.

_Through an Arab village--Creating a Sensation--The “Doubter” alarmed--The li Professor perpetrates a hoax--The Egyptian Saratoga--An Oriental Post-Office--A queer Town--Specime...

24. CHAPTER XXIV--ADVENTURES IN THE MOUNTAINS OF SYRIA.

_“Doing” Syria--The “Short” and the “Long” Route--How to Choose Them--Engaging a Dragoman--Farewell to Damascus--Preying on Travelers--The Wonderful Rivers of Syria--Crossing th...

18. CHAPTER XVIII--SYRIA, THE LAND OF THE SUN.--DRAGOMEN, GUIDES, AND COURIERS.

_A Rough Night on Shipboard--A Sea-sick Turk--What he said--Rum and Petroleum--Meditations on Turkish Hash--The Camel, his tricks and uses--A Knowing Brute--How he shirks a burd...

31. CHAPTER XXXI--AMONG THE MONKS.

_From the Gates of Jerusalem to Bethlehem--A Touching Incident--Tent-Life at Bethlehem--The Milk Grotto--Its Miraculous Character--The “Doubter” Expresses Himself--The Oldest Ch...

19. CHAPTER XIX--THE GROVES OF LEBANON.--A NIGHT AMONG THE ARABS.

_The “Sights” of Beyrout--Excursion to Dog River--An Obstinate Carriage-Owner--How he was “Euchred”--Moral of this Incident--Off for Damascus--Ascending Mt. Lebanon--An Arab Dri...

38. CHAPTER XXXVIII--THE BAZAARS OF CAIRO.--EGYPTIAN CURIOSITY SHOPS.

_More About the Bazaars--How They Sell Goods in Cairo--Furniture, Fleas, and Filth--Trading in Pipe Stems and Coffee Pots--A Queer Collection of Bric-a-Brac--Driving Close Barga...

8. CHAPTER VIII--TURKISH CURIOSITY SHOPS--SIGHTS AND SCENES IN THE BAZAARS.

_Locomotion in Constantinople--Horses, Donkeys, Shank’s Mare and Sedan Chairs Turkish Street Cars--Women in Public--The Veiled Queens of Seraglios--The Drugs of the Orient--Henn...

49. CHAPTER XLIX--IN THE SLAVE-COUNTRY--SIR SAMUEL W. BAKER’S EXPEDITION.

_The Egyptian Slave Trade--How carried on--An Army of Kidnappers--A Slave King--Frightful Scenes--Sir Samuel Baker’s Expedition--A Shrewd Move--Breech-loaders as Civilizing Agen...

48. CHAPTER XLVIII--CAMEL RIDING.--ADVENTURES AMONG THE NUBIANS.

_How they made the Royal Coffins--Splitting Blocks of Stones with Wooden Wedges--An Ingenious Device--A Ride on a Camel--A Beast indulging in Familiarities--Lunching on Trowsers...

25. CHAPTER XV--“FROM DAN TO BEERSHEBA.”--JOURNEYING THROUGH THE HOLY LAND.

_Our first morning in Palestine--Breaking Camp at Banias--“From Dan to Beer-sheba”--Explanation of the phrase--The Cup of the Hills--The Golden Calf of Jeroboam--Story of Vishnu...

21. CHAPTER XXI--SYRIAN LIFE--DEALERS IN HUMAN FLESH--WE TRY “ZE LUXURIES OF ZE BATH.

_In the Slave-Market--A Dealer in Human Flesh--A Stealthy Trade--Examining Female Slaves--Serfdom in Syria--Inside Views of a Syrian Household--Jewish Houses--An Oriental Song--...

23. CHAPTER XXIII--TENT-LIFE AMONG THE BEDOUINS.--THE WARRIORS OF THE DESERT.

_Among the Bedouins--A Genuine Son of the Desert--High-toned Robbers--A Sample of Bedouin Hospitality--Etiquette in an Arab Encampment--A Cas-e of Insult--Tent-life and its Free...

32. CHAPTER XXXII--AMONG THE BEDOUINS.--TRAVELLING UNDER ESCORT, AND LIVING IN TENTS.

_Sleeping under Tents--A Bedouin Encampment--A howl for “Backsheesh”--A Queer crowd--An illusion dispelled--An eccentric “rooster”--Our guard--A little bit of humbug--“Going for...

53. CHAPTER LIII.--WINTER ON THE NILE--THE KHAMSEEN AND ITS EFFECTS--BEDOUIN LIFE.

_Winter in Egypt--A soft and balmy air--A Rainstorm on the Nile--An Asylum for Invalids--The Month of Flowers--The “Khamseen” What is it?--A blast as from a Furnace--Singular ef...

39. CHAPTER XXXIX--ADVENTURES WITH A DONKEY.--A DAY AT THE RACES.

_A “Syce” what is he?--A Man with a Queer Dress and Large Calves--A Gorgeous Turnout--An Escort of Eunuchs--Veiled Beauties--A Flirtation and its Consequences--The Tale of a Dro...

30. CHAPTER XXX--THE LIONS OF JERUSALEM.--THE TEMPLE, THE SEPULCHRE, AND THE HOLY OF HOLIES.

_First Sights in Jerusalem--Appearance of the streets--What the “Doubter” thought--A change of opinion--The Tower of David--The Street of David--Church of the Holy Sepulchre--Sc...

37. CHAPTER XXXVII--STREET-LIFE IN CAIRO.

_Cairo, old and new--A visit to the ancient city--The Nilometer, What is it?--Measuring the rise of the Nile--Moses in the Bulrushes--Tombs of the Caliphs--An Egyptian funeral--...

9. CHAPTER IX--FASTING AND FEASTING--THE SULTAN AND HIS COURT.

_The Great Moslem Fast--Nights of Feasting and Days of Fasting--The Injunction of Mahomet--The Ravenous Mussulman--An Hotel Swindle--A Stranger and They Took Him In--“Too Thin,...

22. CHAPTER XXII--TRAVELING IN A CARAVAN--SIGHTS ON THE WAY.

_Turning our faces eastward--The land of the Sun--Palmyra, Bagdad, and Babylon--The desert in summer and winter--A dangerous road--The Robbers of the Wilderness--Ruins in the De...

35. CHAPTER XXXV--IN AND AROUND THE CITY OF THE CALIPHS.

_A Costly Breakfast--Ismailia--The Palace of the Khedive--On an Egyptian Railroad Train--Rolling Through the Desert--The Delta of the Nile, What Is It?--The Garden of Egypt--Cai...

51. CHAPTER LI--THE WEDDING OF THE KHEDIVE’S SON.--ENJOYING A MONARCH’S HOSPITALITY.

_High Jinks in the Egyptian Capital--Dancing Horses--Arabian Blooded Steeds--Treading the “Light Fantastic Toe”--Bedouin Riders--The Mysterious Cage--Egyptian Prima Donnas--A Sp...

50. CHAPTER L--SUNSET IN THE ORIENT.--VOYAGING DOWN THE NILE.

_An Egyptian Sunset--A Gorgeous Spectacle--The Sky that bends above the Nile--Singular Atmospheric Phenomena--A Picture for an Artist--Shadows from History--Napoleon and the Pyr...

29. CHAPTER XXIX--ENGAGING A DRAGOMAN.--OUR START FOR JERUSALEM.

_Views of Jaffa--A queer-looking City--The Oldest Inhabited Town in the World--The Massacre of Jaffa--A Stain upon the Memory of Napoleon--A Contract with a Dragoman--A close ma...

34. CHAPTER XXXIV--THE LAND OF PHARAOH.--THROUGH THE EGYPTIAN DESERT.

_In Sight of Egypt--A light-house looming through the fog--On the soil of the Pharaohs--An invasion of boatmen--Scenes in the streets of Port Said--Encore de “Backsheesh”--The g...

27. CHAPTER XXVII--THE LAND OF THE PHILISTINES.--SAMARIA AND ITS PEOPLE.

_The City of Nain--“Spoiling the Egyptians”--Ruins of an old Philistine City--Curious Strategy--The Torches in Pitchers--Kleber and the Turks--Ahab’s Palace--Tropical Picture--A...

28. CHAPTER XXVIII--FROM DAMASCUS TO JAFFA.--INCIDENTS OF THE TRIP.

_Once More in Damascus--Taking the “Short Route”--Starting for Beyrout--The Fountains of Damascus--Rain-Storm in the Anti-Lebanon--Stora and its Model Hotel--Poetical Fancies--A...

47. CHAPTER XLVII--A VISIT TO A HAREM IN UPPER EGYPT.--LIFE AMONG THE NUBIANS.

_A Visit to a Harem--Among the Daughters of the Nile--How they Looked and What was Done--Painted Eyelids--The Use of Henna--A Minute Inspection of Garments--Mustapha Agar “At Ho...