The Soul of Ann Rutledge: Abraham Lincoln's Romance
CHAPTER XXXII
THE UNFINISHED SONG
During the month of August, 1835, an epidemic, called by different names, one of which was black ague, visited the country about New Salem.
Dr. Allen was busy riding night and day, and Abe Lincoln, who himself had suffered one chill and was taking peruvian bark to prevent a second one, went with him whenever he could get the time, to nurse the sick and sometimes help make a coffin and bury the dead.
Through Dr. Allen, Abe heard from Ann, the good doctor's information always being that Ann was about the same, and believing her better her big lover went to others who seemed to need him.
Then Davy was stricken down and Abe Lincoln made his plans to go out to the Rutledge farm and stay as long as needed to nurse him. His visit was hastened by news that Ann had had a chill, and he knew, though Dr. Allen's words were few, that he was alarmed. "She must not have another," the good doctor said. "She is too frail to stand it."
With a heart almost stopped by fear Lincoln reached the farm. His greeting by Mrs. Rutledge and her smiling face reassured him.
"Ann is better, Abe," she said gladly. "She had a terrible chill last night and for a time we were frightened half to death, but she will not have another. She really is better. She is going to mend now. Her fever is dropping off and she does not cough so much. She feels like herself and has been singing. She wants you, Abe," and good Mrs. Rutledge laughed.
As he entered the room Abe Lincoln found Ann propped up in pillows and singing. He almost expected to see her active young form come bounding to meet him. Instead, she held out her hand and with a face wreathed in smiles said: "Dear Abraham, God has answered your prayers, I am going to get well."
"Thank God! Thank God!" he exclaimed fervently. Then he stopped, stood back and looked at her a moment. "Oh, Ann, you look just like an angel!"
"What do you know about angels? Anyway, I'm not going to be an angel. I'm going to stay here to bake your bread and darn your socks and make you eat!"
Dr. Allen had come in shortly after Abe Lincoln and was in the other room standing with Mrs. Rutledge by Davy's bedside. When Mrs. Rutledge heard the happy laughter coming from Abe and Ann she looked at Dr. Allen and said with tears of joy in her eyes, "How good it is to hear Ann laughing again."
Dr. Allen glanced at her questioningly. He said nothing.
Ann was talking again of the beautiful days that were past on which her mind seemed continually to dwell.
"Do you know, Abraham, I cannot tell you how I know it, but I believe I have loved you from the first time I ever saw you, and when you asked me at the mill if you might love me I was almost sorry you did not ask me then if I loved you--only I knew you would not think it right until we sent that letter which was never answered.
"But the night that stands out best of all is the night we covered the coals, for that is when I first felt your good, strong arms about me and your kisses on my lips--and all over my face. And the very best day of all the days was when you put the ring on my finger. Abraham, let's live it over again, that night and that day. I cannot stand with you before the fire now, nor have I been to the table for several weeks. But we can play it, can't we?"
"Yes, indeed--make a Shakespeare play with two scenes. One scene will be by the open fire--one will be the Thanksgivin'."
"And we will be lovers."
"I never intend to be anything else."
"All right, begin. Say it over--just what you did the night by the fire."
Very tenderly and with all the meaning of his soul he said the words her heart was hungry to hear again, and he kissed her.
With a radiant face she reached under the pillow and took out the little gold ring.
"Here's the ring. It won't stay on now. But put it on just as you did, and say the same words. I was so proud and so happy I thought my heart would burst, and my thanksgiving to God was very real."
His face was sober now. He took the ring and the thin, white hand, and, repeating the words that had made her so happy, he slipped the ring over her finger as he kissed her again and again. Then he lifted her hand and kissed it.
"You are getting to be a better lover all the time," she said. "Hold out your hand." She put the tips of her fingers in the palm of his hand and the ring dropped from her thin finger. "Keep it for me a little while. Don't let anyone get it and don't lose it. Now shall I sing for you?"
"Yes, Ann--no music this side of heaven will ever be so sweet to me as your singin'."
"Dear old goose," she laughed. "Then hand me my hymn-book."
She turned the pages slowly. "I have sung all the old ones and found some nice new ones. Here is a new song--a happy song:
What a mercy is this! What a heaven of bliss! How unspeakably happy am I, Gathered into the fold--"
The song was interrupted by a slight cough which ended in a choking spell. She rested a moment.
"Do you like it, Abraham?"
"Yes, but that's not my song."
"You want the pilgrim song?"
"Yes, my little pilgrim, that is mine. Can you sing it?"
"Yes, indeed, and I want to":
I'm a pilgrim and I'm a stranger; I can tarry, I can tarry but a night!
Her voice was clear and steady. There was the same triumphant ring, the same quaver and lengthening of certain syllables. But the strong buoyancy had given place to something suggestive of an echo song, and it seemed to the listening lever that the message came from some more distant heights than the bluff.
"That's the sample," she announced. "If it sounds all right I'll begin again and sing through from the first--sing it all. But Abraham, put the big shawl, that's on the foot of the bed, up here handy."
"Are you cold, Ann?"
"No, not yet--but I feel--feel strange."
He put the shawl beside her.
"It's handy now. I'll sing."
Again she sang the lines "I'm a pilgrim--I'm a stranger----" She was singing slower now. When she came to the words "I can tarry," she stopped a moment. "The shawl, Abraham, wrap it about me tightly."
"Let me call your mother," he said as he wrapped the shawl about her.
"Not just yet--not until I finish my song. I will hurry. 'I can tarry--I can tarry----'"
Again the song was interrupted by a struggle for breath, and she seemed to be swallowing something.
"Put your arms around me--I want to finish." Her voice wavered. She shivered. Then came the words quite clearly, but sounding very far away, "'Do--not--detain--me----'"
Again there was a slight struggle for breath, and her head fell against his breast.
"Ann! Ann! What's the matter, Ann?"
She did not answer.
He put his hand under her chin and turned her face toward him. A film was forming over the half-closed violet eyes.
"Ann! My God! Ann!" The words were wrung from him now in fear and agony.
Warm and close she lay in his arms like a little child--but she was silent.
He placed her on the pillow and called to her again. He wrapped his fingers about her wrist. He put his ear against her breast, half groaning, half calling: "Ann! Ann!"
It was still in the room. He arose from the bedside and slightly raising his face, which was drawn and ashy gray, he called: "Ann! Ann!"
Again the silence.
Then with such a groan as voices the agony of the human soul, he whispered hoarsely: "My God--why hast Thou forsaken me!"
A moment later, Mrs. Rutledge and Dr. Allen who were standing beside Davy's bedside heard someone step into the doorway.
They looked around. There in the open way that made a rude frame they saw a picture of unutterable sorrow. Deep as the still foundations of the finest soul, the hurt had struck. Like some monarch of a timber-line twisted by titanic force, so he seemed to have been ruthlessly stormbeaten out of semblance to his former self. The little lines that had traced their way on a young man's face seemed suddenly to have grown deep as by long erosion, and he was as pallid as a dead child.
He seemed to be making an effort to speak. The muscles of his face twitched. No sound came from his lips, but they framed the word: "Ann!"
"Abraham, what is it?" Mrs. Rutledge cried in alarm.
Dr. Allen ran to Ann's bedside, Mrs. Rutledge following. The man in the doorway waited until he heard a mother crying: "No--no, she is not _dead_!"
Then he was gone.