The Soul of Ann Rutledge: Abraham Lincoln's Romance
CHAPTER XXIII
ALIAS McNEIL
Of all the people in New Salem who were surprised at the sudden and mysterious leave-taking of the lover of Ann Rutledge, no one was so mystified and troubled as Ann herself. Especially was she perplexed and troubled about a promise he had exacted from her the last night they were together.
"Ann," he said, "you've promised to marry me--haven't you?"
Ann looked at him questioningly. "Of course--why do you ask such a question?"
"Will you wait for me if I should go away for a time?"
"Surely you believe I will."
"Yes, you'll wait unless Abe Lincoln gets you while I'm away."
"Abe Lincoln," she repeated. "What makes you say that?"
"Abe Lincoln has not been keeping company with any of the girls, and it's not their fault. No more is it natural for a young fellow as full of life as Abe Lincoln is not to like the girls--except when they like _one_. I'm not blind. There's no other girl in New Salem like you; maybe no other one good enough for Abe Lincoln. He'll want something extra on account of his book-learning. Abe's a good fellow, but he's lazy as a dog, always lying around when he ought to be laying by some dollars."
"But he is studying and reading when he is lying around. When anybody's mind is at work they're not lazy."
"You always take up for Abe Lincoln I notice--ever since the day his ark got stuck on the dam. I suppose it's because he was born under a lucky star."
"What's lucky about Abraham Lincoln?"
"Everything. The way he got to bring the steamboat down the river; the way he got to be captain in the Black Hawk war. And now they says he is certain to go to the Legislature."
"But it's not luck. It's because he can do things. 'I will prepare myself,' he often says, 'and when my chance comes I will be ready.'"
"Yes, that's what he says, and that's exactly the reason he'll get you while I'm away."
"But I have promised you, John."
"Out of sight out of mind," he answered.
"Do you think I would forget a solemn promise?" There was surprise and something of resentment in her tone.
"Not exactly that, though Abe Lincoln could talk black into white if he took a notion. But a fellow don't care to have a girl stick to him just on account of a sacred promise."
"What makes you talk so strangely?" she asked. "And tell me, where are you going? You haven't told me this yet."
"I'm going back where I came from--back where I left my people when I came out here."
"That was in New York somewhere."
"Yes, in New York somewhere. I expect to come back and bring them."
"When are you going?"
"To-morrow."
"To-morrow! So soon?" she exclaimed in surprise and pain. "Will you be gone long?"
"Maybe--I don't know how long. But before I go I've a secret to tell you."
"Something you have never told me?"
"Something I have never told anybody. Something you must not tell."
"Not even my mother? I tell her everything."
"Not even your mother, nor father."
"What is it, John?" and Ann's face was troubled as she asked the question.
"You solemnly promise you will not tell--at least not until I come back?"
"I'd like to know what it is before I promise. It doesn't seem right to keep things from Father and Mother. I never do."
"Not even my secrets? Don't you trust me, Ann?"
"Of course I do, John."
"Then promise."
Ann was sorely puzzled. Her lips twitched.
"Promise," he repeated, "and don't cry. It's nothing to cry about."
Still Ann hesitated. "Father would think it strange."
"How can he think it strange if he knows nothing about it?"
"I promise," she said solemnly.
"All right, then, my name is not John McNeil at all."
Ann stared at him a moment. Then with something like a gasp she said, "Your name is not John McNeil? What is it? Who are you?"
"Just this. I came here from--nobody knows just where, not even you, Ann. I named myself John McNeil because I wanted to lose myself."
"What for?" she questioned mechanically.
"Back where I came from my folks are poor--these no-account poor that every enterprising man despises. I wanted to get something together and knew I should never be able to do it if they learned where I was, for I was eternally being called on to help them and keep them from starving when I was where they could call on me."
"Have you heard nothing from them since you came here?"
"Nothing."
"Oh, John! how could you? Perhaps your mother has wanted for something."
"She would have wanted just the same if I had been there."
"She might even be dead."
"I don't think so and hope not. At any rate, I have made some money. Now I'm going back to get the rest of them and I want you to wait for me until I come back. But your name will never be Ann McNeil."
"What will it be?" she asked with pale lips.
"Well," he said, looking at her with a half-smile, "if it's not Mrs. Abraham Lincoln before I return, it will be Mrs. James McNamra."
"James McNamra," she repeated as if puzzled. "I never heard the name."
"It is my name. You will get used to it."
Ann was silent. She was making an effort to choke back great lumps that kept rising in her throat. Then the tears came and ran over the rims of her dark, blue eyes.
"How funny women are," McNeil said. "There's nothing to cry about, and I want to see you laughing the last time."
"I want to tell Mother and Father," she sobbed.
"You said you wouldn't. Are you going to keep your promise?"
"Yes," she answered.
"Then kiss me good-night. To-morrow I will ride past here on my way to Springfield. But there'll be no kissing then. The town folks will have enough to talk about as it is."
* * * * *
After McNeil had left town Ann began watching the post-office, and the postmaster rendered her careful help in the matter.
But days went by and no letter came. The fair face of Ann Rutledge took on a worried look, and had it not been for the kindly assistance of the postmaster the gossips might have known more of Ann's correspondence--or lack of it, than they had yet been able to learn.
The strain on Ann, the worst part of it being the secret, which to her was fast coming to seem little short of a crime against her good father and mother, began to tell on her. She laughed little and sang less. She was more seldom seen with the young people.
Mr. and Mrs. Rutledge noticed this, as well as did Abraham Lincoln, and one night, when Ann's face showed that she had been particularly disappointed because of no letter, Abe Lincoln suggested that Ann learn grammar with him out of his highly prized little book. Both Mr. and Mrs. Rutledge accepted the offer as a special favor.
So it happened that Ann and Abe were left together, and with the precious grammar spread on Ann's little work-table they sat down to their task, he on one side, she on the other. The book was not large, and bending over it the mop of coarse, black hair all but touched the crown of fine-spun gold.
"I will be the teacher," Abe Lincoln said after they had looked through the book, which was the only one of the kind in New Salem.
"We will new study the verb 'to love,'" and turning the pages he found the place.
"I love," he said, looking across at Ann.
Her eyes were on the book.
"Next is 'You love'?" He spoke the words as a question with the accent on the "you."
"Say it now, Ann, just as I have, and look at your teacher. First, 'I love.'"
"I love," she repeated.
"Might be better," he said. "Now the next, and look at your teacher and repeat after me, 'You love'?"
As Ann repeated the question her face took on a touch of pink.
"Very good--very good, indeed. Now the next is, 'We love.' We will say that together with the accent on the 'we.' Now--one--two--three--'we,'" and he beat three times slowly with his big hand "Ready, 'We love.'"
There was much more emphasis in the teacher's statement than in that of the pupil. The effect on Ann was to cause a merry laugh. "Ann," said Abe Lincoln, "I'm goin' to give you this grammar. I know it by heart--by heart, Ann--especially the verb 'I love.' I want you to learn it"; and he wrote across the top, "Ann Rutledge is learning grammar," and pushed it across the table to her.
"What a splendid present!" she said with a smiling face. "How I wish I had something to give you, Abraham--would you take my little Bible--and read it?"
"Oh, Ann!--would you give it to me?" he asked with the joy of a child.
"You won't give it away like you did the muffler, will you?"
"Wouldn't you be willin' if I should run across a bigger sinner than Abe Lincoln?" he answered laughing.
From a chest of drawers she took a little, brown book and handed it to him.
"It must be marked, Ann," and, taking the pencil he had written on the grammar with, he handed it to her, saying, "Now we will find a place where the verb 'to love' is found."
The quick ease with which he turned to the passage he had in mind surprised Ann. With the open page before him he said, "You are religious, Ann. You obey the commands of the Holy Scriptures, don't you?"
"I try to."
"And you'll do anything in reason you are told to by the Book?"
"Yes, indeed."
"Take your pencil and mark this"; and, with his long forefinger pointing to the text, he read impressively, "'This is my commandment, that you love one another.'"
Whether in the Scriptures or out of it, Ann and Abe soon found something to laugh at. "Ann is laughing," Mr. Rutledge said to his wife. "How good it sounds! What on earth has been the matter with her?"
"She hasn't heard from John McNeil," Mrs. Rutledge answered.
"McNeil seems to be a good fellow and unusually successful," John Rutledge observed after a moment of reflection, "but Ann's not married to him yet."