Chapter 2

Scarce had we enter'd on the way, Which thro' thick Woods and Marshes lay; But _Indians_ strange did soon appear, In hot persuit of wounded Deer; No mortal Creature can express, His wild fantastick Air and Dress; His painted Skin in Colours dy'd, His sable hair in Satchel ty'd, Shew'd Savages not free from Pride; His tawny Thighs, and Bosom bare, Disdain'd a useless Coat to wear, Scorn'd Summer's Heat, and Winter's Air; His manly shoulders such as please Widows and Wives, were bathed in grease, Of Cub and Bear, whose supple Oil Prepar'd his Limbs 'gainst Heat or Toil. Thus naked Pict in Battel fought, Or undisguis'd his Mistress sought; And knowing well his Ware was good, Refus'd to screen it with a Hood; His visage dun, and chin that ne'er Did Raizor feel or Scissers bare, Or knew the Ornament of Hair, Look'd sternly Grim, surprized with Fear, I spur'd my Horse as he drew near: But Rhoan who better knew than I, The little Cause I had to fly; Seem'd by his solemn steps and pace, Resolv'd I shou'd the Specter face, Nor faster mov'd, tho' spur'd and lick'd, Than _Balaam's_ Ass by Prophet kick'd. _Kekicknitop_ (q) the Heathen cry'd; How is it, _Tom_, my Friend reply'd, Judging from thence the Brute was civil, I boldly fac'd the Courteous Devil; And lugging out a Dram of Rum, I gave his Tawny worship some: Who in his language as I guess, (My Guide informing me no less,) Implored the (r) Devil, me to bless. I thank'd him for his good Intent, And forwards on my Journey went, Discoursing as along I rode, Whether this Race was framed by God, Or whether some Malignant pow'r, Contriv'd them in an evil hour, And from his own Infernal Look, Their Dusky form and Image took: From hence we fell to Argument Whence Peopled was this Continent. My Friend suppos'd _Tartarians_ wild, Or _Chinese_ from their Home exiled, Wandering thro' Mountains hid with Snow And Rills did in the Vallies flow Far to the South of _Mexico_: Broke thro' the Barrs which Nature cast And wide unbeaten Regions past, Till near those Streams the humane deludge roll'd, Which sparkling shin'd with glittering Sands of Gold And fetch'd (s) _Pizarro_ from the (t) _Iberian_ Shoar, To rob the Natives of their fatal Stoar. I smil'd to hear my young Logician Thus reason like a Politician; Who ne're by Father's Pains and Earning Had got at Mother _Cambridge_ Learning; Where Lubber youth just free from birch Most stoutly drink to prop the Church; Nor with (u) _Grey Groat_ had taken Pains To purge his Head and Cleanse his Reines: And in obedience to the Colledge, Had pleas'd himself with carnal knowledge: And tho' I lik'd the youngster's Wit, I judg'd the Truth he had not hit; And could not chuse but smile to think What they could do for Meat and Drink, Who o'er so many Desarts ran With Brats and Wives in _Caravan_; Unless perchance they'd got the Trick, To eat no more than Porker sick; Or could with well contented Maws Quarter like (v) Bears upon their Paws. Thinking his Reasons to confute, I gravely thus commenc'd Dispute, And urged that tho' a _Chinese_ Host, Might penetrate this _Indian_ Coast, Yet this was certainly most true, They never cou'd the Isles subdue; For knowing not to steer a Boat, They could not on the Ocean float, Or plant their Sunburnt Colonies, In Regions parted by the Seas; I thence inferr'd (w) _Phoenicians_ old, Discover'd first with Vessels bold These Western Shoars, and planted here, Returning once or twice a Year, With _Naval Stoars_ and Lasses kind, To comfort those were left behind; Till by the Winds and Tempest toar, From their intended Golden Shoar, They suffer'd Ship-wreck, or were drown'd, And lost the World so newly found. But after long and learn'd Contention, We could not finish our dissention; And when that both had talk'd their fill, We had the self same Notion still. Thus Parson grave well read and Sage, Does in dispute with Priest engage; The one protests they are not Wise, Who judge by (x) Sense and trust their Eyes; And vows he'd burn for it at Stake, That Man may God his Maker make; The other smiles at his Religion, And vows he's but a learned Widgeon: And when they have empty'd all their Stoar From Books or Fathers, are not more Convinc'd or wiser than before. Scarce had we finish'd serious Story, But I espy'd the Town before me, And roaring Planters on the ground, Drinking of Healths in Circle round: Dismounting Steed with friendly Guide, Our Horses to a Tree we ty'd, And forwards pass'd among the Rout, To chuse convenient _Quarters_ out: But being none were to be found, We sat like others on the ground Carousing Punch in open Air, Till Cryer did the Court declare; The planting Rabble being met Their Drunken Worships likewise set; Cryer proclaims that Noise shou'd cease And streight the Lawyers broke the Peace: Wrangling for Plantiff and Defendant, I thought they ne'er wou'd make an end on't: With nonsense, stuff and false quotations, With brazen Lyes and Allegations; And in the splitting of the Cause, They used much Motions with their Paws, As shew'd their Zeal was strongly bent, In Blows to end the Argument. A reverend Judge, who to the shame Of all the Bench, cou'd write his (y) his Name; At Petty-fogger took offence, And wonder'd at his Impudence. My Neighbour _Dash_ with scorn replies, And in the Face of Justice flies; The Bench in fury streight divide, And Scribble's take or Judge's side; The Jury, Lawyers and their Clyents, Contending fight like earth-born Gyants; But Sheriff wily lay perdue, Hoping Indictments wou'd ensue, And when---------------------- A Hat or Wig fell in the way, He seized them for the _Queen_ as stray: The Court adjourn'd in usual manner In Battle Blood and fractious Clamour; I thought it proper to provide, A Lodging for myself and Guide, So to our Inn we march'd away, Which at a little distance lay; Where all things were in such Confusion, I thought the World at its conclusion; A Herd of Planters on the ground, O'er-whelm'd with Punch, dead drunk, we found; Others were fighting and contending, Some burnt their Cloaths to save the mending. A few whose Heads by frequent use, Could better bare the potent Juice, Gravely debated State Affairs. Whilst I most nimbly trip'd up Stairs; Leaving my Friend discoursing oddly, And mixing things Prophane and Godly; Just then beginning to be Drunk, As from the Company I slunk, To every Room and Nook I crept, In hopes I might have somewhere slept; But all the bedding was possest By one or other drunken Guest: But after looking long about, I found an antient Corn-loft out, Glad that I might in quiet sleep, And there my bones unfractur'd keep. I lay'd me down secure from Fray, And soundly snoar'd till break of Day; When waking fresh I sat upright, And found my Shooes were vanish'd quite; Hat, Wig, and Stockings, all were fled From this extended _Indian_ Bed; Vext at the Loss of Goods and Chattel, I swore I'd give the Rascal battel, Who had abus'd me in this fort, And Merchant Stranger made his Sport. I furiously descended Ladder; No Hare in _March_ was ever madder; In vain I search'd for my Apparel, And did with Oast and Servants Quarrel; For one whose Mind did much aspire To (z) Mischief, threw them in the Fire: Equipt with neither Hat nor Shooe, I did my coming hither rue, And doubtful thought what I should do: Then looking round, I saw my Friend Lie naked on a Table's end; A sight so dismal to behold, One wou'd have judg'd him dead and cold, When wringing of his bloody Nose, By fighting got we may suppose; I found him not so fast asleep, Might give his friends a cause to weep: Rise (aa) _Oronooko_, rise said I, And from this _Hell_ and _Bedlam_ fly. My Guide starts up, and in amaze, With blood-shot Eyes did round him gaze; At length with many a sigh and groan, He went in search of aged Rhoan; But Rhoan, tho' seldom us'd to faulter, Had fairly this time slipt his Halter; And not content all Night to stay Ty'd up from Fodder, ran away: After my Guide to ketch him ran, And so I lost both Horse and Man: Which Disappointment tho' so great, Did only Mirth and Jests create: Till one more Civil than the rest, In Conversation for the best, Observing that for want of Rhoan, I should be left to walk alone; Most readily did me intreat, To take a Bottle at his Seat; A Favour at that time so great, I blest my kind propitious Fate; And finding soon a fresh supply, Of Cloaths from Stoar-house kept hard by, I mounted streight on such a Steed, Did rather curb, than whipping need; And straining at the usual rate, With spur of Punch which lay in Pate, E'er long we lighted at the Gate: Where in an antient _Cedar_ House, Dwelt my new Friend a (bb) Cockerouse; Whose Fabrick tho' 'twas built of Wood, Had many Springs and Winters stood; When sturdy Oaks, and lofty Pines Were level'd with (cc) Musmillion Vines, And Plants eradicated were, By Hurricanes into the air; There with good Punch and Apple Juice, We spent our Hours without abuse; Till Midnight in her sable Vest, Persuaded Gods and Men to rest; And with a pleasing kind surprize, Indulg'd soft Slumbers to my Eyes. Fierce (dd) _Æthon_ courser of the Sun, Had half his Race exactly run; And breath'd on me a fiery Ray, Darting hot Beams the following Day, When snug in Blanket white I lay: But Heat and (ee) Chinces rais'd the Sinner, Most opportunely to his Dinner; Wild Fowl and Fish delicious Meats, As good as _Neptune's_ doxy eats, Began our Hospitable Treat; Fat Venson follow'd in the Rear, And Turkies wild (ff) Luxurious Chear: But what the Feast did most commend, Was hearty welcom from my Friend. Thus having made a noble Feast, And eat as well as pamper'd Priest, _Madera_ strong in flowing Bowls, Fill'd with extream delight our Souls; Till wearied with a purple Flood, Of generous Wine (the Giant's blood, As Poets feign) away I made, For some refreshing verdant Shade; Where musing on my Rambles strange, And Fortune which so oft did change; In midst of various Contemplations Of Fancies odd, and Meditations, I slumbered long--------------- Till hazy Night with noxious Dews Did sleep's unwholsom Fetters lose; With Vapors chil'd, and misty air, To fire-side I did repair; Near which a jolly Female Crew, Were deep engag'd at _Lanctre-Looe_; In Night-rails white, with dirty Mein, Such Sights are scarce in _England_ seen: I thought them first some Witches bent, On Black Designs in dire Convent. Till one who with affected air, Had nicely learn'd to Curse and Swear; Cry'd Dealing's lost is but a Flam, And vow'd by G----d she'd keep her _Pam_. When dealing through the board had run, They ask'd me kindly to make one; Not staying often to be bid, I sat me down as others did; We scarce had play'd a Round about, But that these _Indian_ Froes fell out. D----m you, says one, tho' now so brave, I knew you late a Four-Years Slave; What if for Planter's Wife you go, Nature designed you for the Hoe. Rot you replies the other streight, The Captain kiss'd you for his Freight; And if the Truth was known aright, And how you walk'd the Streets by night You'd blush (if one cou'd blush) for shame, Who from _Bridewell_ or _New gate_ came: From Words they fairly fell to Blows, And being loath to interpose, Or meddle in the Wars of Punk, Away to Bed in hast I slunk. Waking next day, with aking Head, And Thirst, that made me quit my Bed; I rigg'd myself, and soon got up, To cool my Liver with a Cup Of (gg) _Succahana_ fresh and clear, Not half so good as _English_ Beer; Which ready stood in Kitchin Pail, And was in fact but _Adam's_ Ale; For Planter's Cellars you must know, Seldom with good _October_ flow, But Perry Quince and Apple Juice, Spout from the Tap like any Sluce; Untill the Cask's grown low and stale, They're forc'd again to (hh) Goud and Pail: The soathing drought scarce down my Throat, Enough to put a ship afloat, With Cockerouse as I was sitting, I felt a Feaver Intermitting; A fiery Pulse beat in my Veins, From Cold I felt resembling Pains: This cursed seasoning I remember, Lasted from _March_ to cold _December_; Nor would it then its _Quarters_ shift Until by _Cardus_ turn'd adrift, And had my Doctress wanted skill, Or Kitchin Physick at her will, My Father's Son had lost his Lands, And never seen the _Goodwin Sands_: But thanks to Fortune and a Nurse Whose Care depended on my Purse, I saw myself in good Condition, Without the help of a Physitian: At length the shivering ill relieved, Which long my Head and Heart had grieved; I then began to think with Care, How I might sell my _British_ Ware, That with my Freight I might comply, Did on my Charter party lie; To this intent, with Guide before, I tript it to the Eastern Shoar; While riding near a Sandy Bay, I met a _Quaker_, _Yea_ and _Nay_; A Pious Consientious Rogue, As e'er woar Bonnet or a Brogue, Who neither Swore nor kept his Word But cheated in the Fear of God; And when his Debts he would not pay, By Light within he ran away. With this sly Zealot soon I struck A Bargain for my _English_ Truck Agreeing for ten thousand weight, Of _Sot-weed_ good and fit for freight, Broad Oronooko bright and sound, The growth and product of his ground; In Cask that should contain compleat, Five hundred of Tobacco neat. The Contract thus betwixt us made, Not well acquainted with the Trade, My Goods I trusted to the Cheat, Whose crop was then aboard the Fleet; And going to receive my own, I found the Bird was newly flown: Cursing this execrable Slave, This damn'd pretended Godly Knave; On dire Revenge and Justice bent, I instantly to Counsel went, Unto an ambodexter (ii) _Quack_, Who learnedly had got the Knack Of giving Glisters, making Pills, Of filling Bonds, and forging Wills; And with a stock of Impudence, Supply'd his want of Wit and Sense; With Looks demure, amazing People, No wiser than a Daw in Steeple; My Anger flushing in my Face, I stated the preceeding Case: And of my Money was so lavish, That he'd have poyson'd half the Parish, And hang'd his Father on a Tree For such another tempting Fee; Smiling, said he, the Cause is clear, I'll manage him you need not fear; The Case is judg'd, good Sir, but look In _Galen_, No--in my Lord Cook, I vow to God I was mistook: I'll take out a Provincial Writ, And trounce him for his Knavish Wit; Upon my Life we'll win the Cause, With all the ease I cure the (kk) Yaws; Resolv'd to plague the holy Brother, I set one Rogue to catch another; To try the cause then fully bent, Up to (ll) _Annapolis_ I went, A City Situate on a Plain, Where scarce a House will keep out Rain; The Buildings framed with Cyprus rare, Resembles much our _Southwark_ Fair: But Stranger here will scarcely meet With Market-place, Exchange, or Street; And if the Truth I may report, 'Tis not so large as _Tottenham Court_. St _Mary's_ once was in repute, Now here the Judges try the Suit And Lawyers twice a year dispute. As oft the Bench most gravely meet, Some to get Drunk, and some to eat A swinging share of Country Treat. But as for Justice right or wrong, Not one amongst the numerous throng, Knows what they mean, or has the Heart, To give his Verdict on a Stranger's part: Now Court being call'd by beat of Drum, The Judges left their Punch and Rum, When Pettifogger Docter draws, His Paper forth, and opens Cause; And least I shou'd the better get, Brib'd _Quack_ supprest his knavish Wit. So Maid upon the Downy Field Pretends a Force, and Fights to yield: The Byast Court without delay, Adjudg'd my Debt in Country Pay; In (mm) Pipe staves, Corn or Flesh of Boar, Rare Cargo for the _English_ Shoar; Raging with Grief, full speed I ran To joyn the Fleet at (nn) _Kicketan_; Embarqu'd and waiting for a Wind I left this dreadful Curse behind.

May Canniballs transported o'er the Sea Prey on these Slaves, as they have done on me; May never Merchant's trading Sails explore This Cruel, this inhospitable Shoar; But left abandon'd by the World to starve, May they sustain the Fate they well deserve; May they turn Savage, or as _Indians_ Wild, From Trade, Converse and Happiness exil'd; Recreant to Heaven, may they adore the Sun, And into Pagan Superstitions run For Vengence ripe--------------- May Wrath Divine then lay those Regions wast Where no Man's (oo) Faithful, nor a Woman Chast.

[Footnote a: By the Cape is meant the _Capes of Virginea_[_sic._], the first Land on the Coast of _Virginia_ and _Mary-Land_.]

[Footnote b: To _Cove_ is to lie at Anchor safe in Harbour.]

[Footnote c: The Bay of _Piscato-way_, the usual place where our Ships come to an Anchor in _Mary-Land_.]

[Footnote d: The Planters generally wear _Blue Linnen_.]

[Footnote e: A _Canoo_ is an _Indian_ Boat, cut out of the body of a Popular-Tree [_sic._, Poplar-Tree].]

[Footnote f: Wolves are very numerous in _Mary-Land_.]

[Footnote g: 'Tis supposed by the Planters that all unknown Persons run away from some Master.]

[Footnote h: Syder-pap is a sort of Food made of Syder and small Homine, like our Oatmeal.]

[Footnote i: Pon is Bread made of _Indian-Corn_.]

[Footnote k: Mush is a sort of hasty-pudding made with water and _Indian_ Flower.]

[Footnote l: Homine is a dish that is made of boiled _Indian_ Wheat, eaten with Molossus, or Bacon-Fat.]

[Footnote m: 'Tis the Custom for Servants to be obliged for four Years to very servile work; after which time they have their Freedom.]

[Footnote n: These are the general Excuses made by _English_ Women, which are sold, or sell themselves to _Mary-Land_.]

[Footnote o: Beds stand in the Chimney-corner in this Country.]

[Footnote p: Frogs are called _Virginia_ Bells and make (both in that country and _Mary-Land_) during the Night, a very hoarse ungrateful Noise.]

[Footnote q: _Kekicknitop_ is an _Indian_ Expression, and signifies no more than this, _How do you do?_]

[Footnote r: These _Indians_ worship the Devil, and pray to him as we do to God Almighty. 'Tis suppos'd, that _America_ was peopled from _Scythia_ or _Tartaria_, which Borders on _China_, by reason the _Tartarians_ and _Americans_, very much agree in their Manners, Arms and Government. Other persons are of Opinion, that the _Chinese_ first peopled the _West-Indies_; imagining _China_ and the Southern part of _America_ to be contiguous. Others believe that the Phoenicians who were very skilful Mariners, first planted a Colony in the Isles of _America_, and supply'd the Persons left to inhabit there with Women and all other Necessaries; till either the Death or Shipwreck of the first Discoverers, or some other Misfortune, occasioned the loss of the Discovery, which had been purchased by the Peril of the first Adventurers.]

[Footnote s: Pizarro was the Person that conquer'd Peru; a Man of a most bloody Disposition, base, treacherous, covetous and revengeful.]

[Footnote t: _Spanish_ Shoar.]

[Footnote u: There is a very bad Custom in some Colledges, of giving the Students _A Groat ad purgandas Rhenes_, which is usually employ'd to the use of the _Donor_.]

[Footnote v: Bears are said to live by sucking of their _Paws_, according to the Notion of some Learned Authors.]

[Footnote w: The _Phoenicians_ were the best and boldest Saylors of Antiquity, and indeed the only Persons, in former Ages, who durst venture themselves on the Main Sea.]

[Footnote x: The _Priests_ argue, That our Senses in point of _Transubstantiation_ ought not to be believed, for tho' the Consecrated Bread has all the accidents of Bread, yet they affirm, 'tis the Body of Christ, and not of Bread but Flesh and Bones.]

[Footnote y: In the County-Court of Mary-Land, very few of the Justices of the Peace can write or read.]

[Footnote z: 'Tis the Custom of the Planters to throw their own, or any other Person's Hat, Wig, Shooes or Stockings in the Fire.]

[Footnote aa: Planters are usually call'd by the Name of _Oronooko_, from their Planting _Oronooko-Tobacco_.]

[Footnote bb: Cockerouse, is a Man of Quality.]

[Footnote cc: Musmilleon Vines are what we call Musk milleon Plants.]

[Footnote dd: _Æthon_ is one of the Poetical Horses of the Sun.]

[Footnote ee: _Chinces_ are a sort of Vermin like our _Bugs_ in _England_.]

[Footnote ff: Wild Turkies are very good Meat, and prodigiously large in _Mary-Land_.]

[Footnote gg: Succahana is Water.]

[Footnote hh: A Goud grows upon an _Indian_ Vine, resembling a Bottle, when ripe it is hollow; this the Planters make use of to drink water out of.]

[Footnote ii: This Fellow was an Apothecary, and turned an Attorney at Law.]

[Footnote kk: The _Yaws_ is the _Pox_.]

[Footnote ll: The chief of _Mary-Land_ containing about twenty-four _Houses_.]

[Footnote mm: There is a Law in this Country, the Plaintiff may pay his Debt in Country pay, which consists in the produce of his Plantation.]

[Footnote nn: The home ward bound fleet meets here.]

[Footnote oo: The Author does not intend by this any of the _English_ Gentlemen resident there.]

* * * * *

FINIS.

GLOSSARY.

Cockerouse: a man of Quality.

Chinces: _chinches_,--bed-bugs.

Froes: women; _frau_ (German) _vrouw_ (Dutch).

Hoe (at the): working in the field.

Lanctre-Looe: the game at cards of _loo_.

Night-rails: night cloathes.

Oast: host.

Oronooko: tobacco, also a nick-name, in those days, for a planter.

Pam: in _loo_ the knave or clubs generally, and sometimes the knave of trumps, is agreed on as the highest card, and called Pam.

Sot-weed: tobacco.

Sot-weed Factor: tobacco-agent or supercargo.

Succahana: water.

Tripple-Tree: gallows.