Part 4

Then he escorted Winn to the door and said he never wanted to see his face again. "I'm sorry to have to say it," he continued, "but until you came a little while ago my life was full of sunshine and now it is nothing but a mud puddle. But I forgive you. Good-by!"

Well, you may be sure Winn felt terribly gloomy as he went back to Toobad's shop. When he hired out as the tailor's errand boy in order to help his family, he had not thought how he would be bringing distress into other families by delivering Toobad's enchanted clothes. But he could see now, after the scene with his mother's aunt's second cousin, how selfish and wicked it was for him to help Toobad get other people into trouble in order to make things easier for his own folks. So he determined that he would give up his job right away.

"I've decided not to be your errand boy any longer," he said to the enchanter, as he handed him the money he had received from his mother's aunt's second cousin. "I find you are too wicked to work for."

"Humph!" said the tailor, "and why am I any wickeder now than I was this morning? You were glad to work for me then."

"I know," said Winn, "but I have just seen my mother's aunt's second cousin turn from a carefree, happy person into a miserable wretch, and all because I delivered him one of your enchanted suits of clothes. And I cannot help you in your crimes any longer even if my family do suffer. Good afternoon!"

"Good afternoon nothing!" shouted Toobad. "Come back here at once. Yesterday when I did not want an errand boy you talked me into having one, and now that I've gotten used to having one you want me to do without one. Well, I shan't do it. You'll work for me whether you want to or not."

And with that he stretched out his hand toward Winn and then drew it back and when he drew it back something mysterious drew Winn back also, and though he tried to get to the door he could not move.

"Now," said Toobad, "will you work for me or not?"

"No," said Winn, firmly, "I will never work for you if I can help it."

"Very well, then," said the enchanter, "you shall work for me because you cannot help it."

And with that he repeated the alphabet backward like lightning, wiggling his fingers at the same time, and in a flash Winn was transformed into a tailor's dummy, after which Toobad placed him on the sidewalk outside his shop with one of the enchanted suits on him and with a sign on his breast which read:

TAKE ME HOME FOR $3.75

so people could see what fine, cheap clothes were sold inside.

And maybe Winn did not feel bad as he stood there day after day not even able to roll his eyes or move or speak. And on Saturday night he felt particularly bad because his father, and his grandfather, and his uncle, and his big brother came by the shop arm in arm, all whistling merrily because they did not have to pay Toobad any money that week and were going to a movie instead.

"My, my!" they exclaimed, when they saw Winn by the door, "doesn't that image look exactly like our Winn, but of course it cannot be because it's made of wax." And then the next moment they went on their way as happy as larks.

"Oh, dear!" said Winn to himself, miserably, "whatever am I going to do? How am I ever going to escape from this terrible tailor? If only I could think of _some_ way."

And later when Toobad had brought him indoors and shut the shop, and gone off to bed and left him standing in a dark corner, he thought and thought with all his might, for he felt if he did not find _some_ way to break the enchantment he might as well die.

And then as he was still puzzling over the problem he heard a stealthy step, and into the room came Toobad in his nightgown, holding a lighted candle in his hand, and Winn saw that he was walking in his sleep. And not only was he walking in his sleep but he was talking in his sleep also, and this is what he was saying:

Of all the gents who wear my clothes Not one has ever guessed, sir, That he could break the magic spell By pulling down his vest, sir. Oh, yes, indeed, there is no need Why he should be distressed, sir, If he but knows enchanted clothes Are governed by the vest, sir.

And when Winn heard what he was saying he knew right away that if he could only escape he could easily get his father, and grandfather, and uncle, and big brother out of the power of Toobad the tailor, for he only had to tell them to pull down their vests and they would be rid forever of the hateful clothing they were wearing. But alas, it was one thing to want to get home, and another to get there, for while he was transformed into a tailor's dummy he was utterly helpless and could only stand and watch Toobad as he wandered about the shop with his eyes shut and the lighted candle in his hand.

And then all of a sudden something happened that transformed him from a tailor's dummy into a very real boy, for Toobad, not seeing where he was going, bumped right into him and the flame of the candle came right against Winn's nose--only for a moment--but it was long enough to scorch it and to make Winn yell--ouch! at the top of his lungs, and to joggle all the enchantment out of him. And if you did not believe an enchanted person can be cured by scorching his nose, just get yourself enchanted and scorch your nose and see if it does not work.

Anyway, it cured Winn, and not only that but it woke Toobad up. And when the tailor found himself in his shop with his nightgown on, and found Winn changed from a dummy into a regular boy again, he was furious.

"Zounds!" he shrieked, dancing up and down, "how the--what the--where did I come from and how did you get all right again?"

And when Winn told him he was more furious than ever. "Well," he said, "I'll soon fix you anyway." And thereupon he began to say the alphabet backward the same as he had done before, but by the time he had said three letters and before the enchantment had had time to work, Winn rushed at him and knocked the candle to the floor. And then while the shop was in darkness he unhooked the door and ran home as fast as he could. When he got there it was past midnight and of course every one was asleep, but by and by his mother heard him knocking and let him in.

And you may be sure it did not take his father, or his grandfather, or his uncle, or his big brother long to hop out of bed where they had been sleeping with their clothes on because they could not get them off. And maybe they were not surprised when they learned that Winn had really been the tailor's dummy they had seen outside the shop. And maybe they were not delighted when they found that Winn knew of a way for them to get rid of the enchanted clothes. And maybe they did not pull down their vests in a hurry as soon as Winn had finished telling them about it.

"My gracious," said Winn's grandfather, as he peeled the last of the hated garments from him, "I feel twenty years younger. And I can hardly wait until morning to get my hands on that villainous tailor."

"Nor I," said Winn's father.

"Me, too," said Winn's uncle.

"I daren't tell you what _I'll_ do to him," said Winn's big brother.

And the first thing after breakfast they all went around to Toobad's shop dressed in their old clothes, and each one of them kept his word so well that Toobad was laid up in the hospital for a week. And every time he got well and came out again a fresh batch of victims was waiting to send him back again, for Winn had gone all about the city telling everybody who had bought the enchanted clothes, how to pull down their vests and get rid of them. And, of course, one of the first persons he told after his immediate family was his mother's aunt's second cousin. But as his mother's aunt's second cousin had forgotten to put on his vest when he donned his enchanted suit, he could not pull his vest down. And so the only thing to do was to give him chloroform and skin the clothes off him a little strip at a time. After which they sent _him_ to the hospital also, where he lay in bed right alongside of Toobad the tailor.

And perhaps that is the reason Toobad is still in the hospital, for after Winn's mother's aunt's second cousin got well, he refused to go home, but sat down on the hospital steps to wait for Toobad. And neither Winn's father, nor his grandfather, nor his uncle, nor his big brother, were able to coax him away.

But as for Winn, he did not try to coax him, indeed he soon forgot all about his mother's aunt's second cousin, for all the persons in Vex who had been wearing Toobad's enchanted clothes, began sending Winn presents to show their gratitude, and when you have sixteen gold watches, and a couple of ponies, and skates, and air guns, and pretty much every sort of a thing that a boy likes, you cannot think of much else.

The best you can do is just to enjoy yourself, and if you think Winn is not doing that, take a trip to Vex some day and you will soon find out.

THE SNOOPING-BUG

Once there was a Snooping Bug that lived in a glass jar on a shelf in the cottage of a Fairy Godmother. Now fairy godmothers are always nice, but this Fairy Godmother was _very_ nice, and the reason she kept the Snooping Bug a prisoner in a jar on her shelf was because she was afraid he would go about and get folks into trouble. And another thing that showed she was unusually nice was that every week-end she always invited a little prince or princess to be her guest. And this story opens just as Prince Pranc, the only son of the king of a nearby city, had arrived to spend several days with his Fairy Godmother.

"Now, Pranc," said the Fairy Godmother, "I want you to have the happiest kind of a time, and you'll have it without doubt if you don't get into mischief."

"Oh, that's all right," replied the Prince, as he watched the Fairy Godmother unpack his trunk, "if I get into mischief you just send me home again."

"Yes," said the Fairy Godmother, "but suppose you are not here to send home again; suppose you have disappeared. Don't forget this is an enchanted house and that strange things can happen in an enchanted house."

"Phew!" said Pranc, "I almost wish I hadn't come."

"Not at all," replied the Fairy Godmother, "there is nothing to be alarmed about. You could sit on a keg of gunpowder and be perfectly safe if you didn't explode the powder. But in case you should get into trouble, put this ring on your finger and turn it around and around when danger threatens."

"Oh, thank you," said the Prince, slipping on the ring. "I don't feel so worried now."

Then the Fairy Godmother took him all over the cottage and showed him the wonderful belongings she had, and last of all she took him into her study and there Pranc saw the Snooping Bug in his jar on the shelf.

"What's that?" he asked.

And the Fairy Godmother told him it was a Snooping Bug. "And this one," she continued, pointing to another jar on the shelf, "has a Sulking Bug in it; and this one--next to it, is a Crying Bug. If they got out of the jars they'd bite you, and you'd start in to snoop, or sulk, or cry."

"Whoever heard of such a thing," said the Prince. "It can't be."

"It can't, eh," said the Fairy Godmother. "Just put your finger on the top of this bottle when I take the cork out."

And with that she took the magic stopper out of the Crying Bug bottle and Pranc stuck his finger in. And then--ping--the next moment something bit it, and the _next_ moment he burst out crying, boo-hoo--boo-hoo, as loud as he could. And as he was a boy who hardly _ever_ cried, he felt awfully ashamed of himself.

"Oh, dear," he sobbed, "I hate to cry this way, but--but--"

"Don't worry," said the Fairy Godmother, as she corked the bottle again, "he only gave you a little bite. You'll be over it in a minute."

And presently the tears stopped rolling down Pranc's cheeks and he was all right once more.

"My goodness," he said, as he wiped his eyes, "I wouldn't like that to happen again."

"Then," said the Fairy Godmother, "see that you keep hands off these bottles. As long as the bugs stay in the bottles everything will be all right, but if they once get out they'll bite every girl and boy they find. That is why I keep them prisoners. I don't care for snooping, sulking or crying children, nor does any one else."

Then she told Pranc that she would have to leave him for awhile. "I have been invited to the christening of a princess," she said.

So she put on her gossamer cloak and her diamond studded bonnet, kissed her hand to Pranc and went off to the christening. But so interested was Pranc in the bugs on the shelf he hardly noticed her going, for the Sulking Bug looked so mad it almost startled him, and the Crying Bug had cried so much his bottle was half full of tears and he looked almost as mad as the Sulking Bug. But when it came to the Snooping Bug, it was a very different affair altogether, for the Snooping Bug, although he had a sly sort of expression in his big, pop eyes, was real jolly looking as he slowly scratched his shoulder blade with his hind leg. And when he saw the Prince looking at him, he winked one eye and then turned a couple of somersaults, which made the Prince laugh like anything.

"Gee whiz," he exclaimed, "I like this bug."

And in order to get a better look at the creature he reached the jar down from the shelf and carried it over to the window, or at least he started to, but before he got there he stumbled--bing--the jar slipped from his hands, fell to the floor with a crash and broke into a thousand pieces, leaving the Snooping Bug kicking in the midst of the fragments.

"Oh," cried the Prince, "I must get something to put him in or he'll get away."

"Nonsense," remarked the Snooping Bug. "I'm not going away. You couldn't drive me away. I'm going to stay with you. But do get me out of this mess, please."

So Pranc, not suspecting anything, stooped to pick the Snooping Bug up and then as he did so--zip, the Bug bit his finger and in about eight seconds he changed from a first class little boy who always minded his own business and did not pry into things, into a sly, snooping fellow peering into corners, and closets, and everything. And as he changed, the Snooping Bug changed also. It swelled, and swelled, and swelled until it was half as big as Pranc. After which it chuckled, wiggling the two long, wavy horns that grew over its eyebrows, and took the Prince by the hand.

"Come on," it said, "let's start. My, but it feels good to get out of that jar."

"Start," said Pranc, "start where?"

"Why, to headquarters," replied the Snooping Bug, "where you can snoop all you want."

So off they went to the Fairy Godmother's preserve closet. "Open the door," said the Snooping Bug. And when the Prince had done so the Snooping Bug pushed Pranc inside and then followed, shutting the door after him.

"My, but it's dark," exclaimed the Prince. "What are we going to do now?"

"Just you wait," said the Snooping Bug. Then he called out: "Going down!" And all of a sudden a brilliantly lighted elevator came down right in front of them, the door slid open, Pranc and the Snooping Bug stepped inside, and then, ker-zip, ker-zip, ker-zip, the elevator began to drop, and drop, and drop, with the most awful dips.

Goodness, how they did drop. The Prince thought they must have dropped about nine hundred miles when at last the elevator stopped after giving a terrible bounce or two, and the Snooping Bug shouted: "Here we are!"

Pranc wondered where "here we are" was as he looked up and down the street in which he presently found himself standing, and was about to ask the Snooping Bug, when all of a sudden somebody bumped into him and he turned to see a tall, slim fellow in a pink uniform with his hands full of letters which he had been reading as he walked along. Over one shoulder hung a leather bag which was crammed with other letters still in their envelopes, and on his head was a cap with a tassel and on the front of the cap it said "postman."

"What do you mean," cried the stranger, sternly, "by interfering with the mails? Can't you see I'm on government duty?"

"Oh, excuse me," said Pranc, "I didn't mean to bump you, and I wouldn't have done it if you hadn't been reading those letters as you walked along."

"Indeed," said the postman, "well if I didn't read some of the letters as I walked about delivering them I don't know what I _would_ do. I can't read _all_ of 'em at night, you know."

"But," said the Prince, "they are not your letters, are they?"

"Of course not," said the postman, testily, "who would write me all this lot of letters? They belong to the different citizens of Snoopania."

"Oh," said the Prince, "you don't read other people's letters, I hope."

"Well," retorted the postman, opening his eyes very wide, "I should hope I did. If I didn't I'd lose my job. Every letter must be torn open and read, and every postal card must not only be read but committed to memory. I could shut my eyes right now and tell you what I've read on a million postal cards only I haven't the time. This is the way of it, you see:

A postman's life is a busy one, His working hours are never done, For all of the letters the public writes He has to read at home at nights; And all of the postals, yes, sir-ee, He has to commit to memoree. And so if you think I'm cross a bit You'll know my job is the cause of it.

As he finished he suddenly noticed the Snooping Bug. "For mercy's sake," he exclaimed, "when did you get back? I thought the Fairy Godmother had you bottled up."

"She did," said the Snooping Bug, "but thanks to this noble boy I'm out again. Where can I find the First Lord of the Keyhole? I want to make arrangements for parliament to reward my rescuer."

"Well," said the postman, "I think he's at his office right now, if you hurry."

So, after bidding the postman good-by, the Snooping Bug hurried Pranc off to the office of the First Lord of the Keyhole.

Soon they reached Parliament House where the First Lord of the Keyhole had his office, but when they tried to open the office door it seemed to stick. So Pranc gave it a push, and then a harder one, and all at once it opened wide and the Prince and the Snooping Bug staggering into the room saw in the middle of the floor a white-haired old gentleman lying on his back.

"Shut the door," commanded the old gentleman, scrambling to his feet. "Now," he said, glaring at Pranc as he smoothed his clothing, "I suppose you know what you've done."

"No," said the Prince, "what have I done?" He looked at the old gentleman and then at the Snooping Bug. The old gentleman was very red in the face and the Snooping Bug seemed to be dreadfully worried. He took Pranc into a corner and whispered in his ear.

"Don't be frightened," he said, rather hoarsely, "but you upset a peer of the realm when you opened the door. He was peering through the keyhole at you before he said 'Come in,' and you should have peered through the keyhole at him before you did come in. I don't know whether I can get you off or not. I ought to have warned you."

"You certainly ought," said the Prince. "How was I to know he was at the keyhole? It seems a very queer thing for an old gentleman like that to do."

"Not at all," put in the old gentleman. "Ain't I the First Lord of the Keyhole and head of the House of Peers? And don't all the Peers of Snoopania peer through keyholes? Eh?"

"I don't know," said Pranc.

"Well, they do," continued the old gentleman, "the same as the members of the House of Commons _listen_ at keyholes. Where have you been all your life, anyway?"

And then the Prince told him where his home was and how the Snooping Bug had brought him to Snoopania. "But," he added, "I think I'd like to go back, if you don't mind."

"Oh, come now," put in the Snooping Bug, "you've only just arrived." He turned to the First Lord of the Keyhole. "I think he's worried for fear you're going to have him punished for knocking you over. Are you?"

"Certainly," snapped the First Lord of the Keyhole. "The dignity of the peerage must be maintained."

"Well, I don't think it's fair," said the Snooping Bug, hotly.

"Of course it isn't fair," retorted the old gentleman. "We never do anything fair in Snoopania. You know that. If we did we wouldn't snoop, would we?"

Then he clapped his hands and six very jolly looking gentlemen entered in a single file. "This is the Committee on Extermination," said the First Lord of the Keyhole, turning to the Prince. "The Chairman will arrange the details of your execution."

"With pleasure," said the Chairman of the Exterminating Committee, who was the jolliest looking man of them all. Then he patted Pranc on the head and asked in a kindly tone _when_ he would like to have his head cut off.

"What!" exclaimed the Prince, with a startled expression.

"_When_," repeated the Chairman, "would you like your head cut off?"

"_Never_," shouted Pranc, as loud as he could.

"Never," repeated the Chairman of the Exterminating Committee, looking rather pained. "Oh, but I say that won't do at all. You _must_ fix a time. We can't cut your head off unless you do. It wouldn't be legal."

"Indeed," said Pranc, with a sigh of relief. "Well, I'm very glad to hear it."

And though every member of the Committee on Extermination argued with him, and the First Lord of the Keyhole shook his fist at him and sputtered like a fire-cracker, he simply would _not_ say when he would like his head cut off.

"Well," said the First Lord of the Keyhole to the Chairman of the Exterminating Committee, "we'll have to appeal to the King about the matter. This boy doesn't know what he wants."

"Oh, yes, he does," said the Snooping Bug.

"He does _not_," thundered the First Lord of the Keyhole.

"He does, too," retorted the Snooping Bug, "and if you see the King, we'll see him, too."

So everybody started off for the palace and never stopped until they stood outside the monarch's sitting-room. "Wait a moment," said the Chairman of the Exterminating Committee, "until I see whether he is busy." Whereupon he put his eye to the keyhole. "Yes," he said, straightening up again, "he is quite busy snooping under his bathroom door."

"But," said Pranc, "what's the use of that?"

"What's the use of anything?" snapped the First Lord of the Keyhole. "Practice makes perfect, and the more you snoop the better you can do it. The King of Snoopania does not believe in wasting his time, sir."

And sure enough the monarch did not, for when they opened the door and went in, he had his head in the fireplace.

"Oh, how do you do," he said, pulling it out again.

"Are you very much engaged?" inquired the Chairman of the Exterminating Committee.

"Well," said the King, "I only just got through with the bathroom and I did want to finish the chimney this morning, sure, but it doesn't matter. What is it?"

"This boy," said the Chairman of the Exterminating Committee, "is to have his head cut off but he won't say when. He doesn't know what he wants, so we'd like to know if you know."

"Of course he doesn't know," put in Pranc, impatiently. "I'm the only one who knows. And besides what is the use of asking a king who spends his time peeking up chimneys? I never heard of a king doing such a thing."

Well, if the Prince had walked up to the monarch and boxed his ears he could not have astonished him or the rest of the party more. For a moment no one said anything, they just looked at each other in horror, and then the King turned red, white and blue in the face with rage.

"You--you--you--" he bawled, glaring at Pranc, "you're an imitation snooper. You don't know the first principles of snooping. What are you doing in Snoopania anyway?" Then he yelled for his soldiers to come and cut the Prince's head off at once--at once. He repeated it twice so they would not misunderstand.