Part 3

Should I not keepe promise in speaking a little to Womens fashions, they would take it unkindly: I was loath to pester better matter with such stuffe; I rather thought it meet to let them stand by themselves, like the _Quae Genus_ in the Grammar, being Deficients, or Redundants, not to be brought under any Rule: I shall therefore make bold for this once, to borrow a little of their loose tongued Liberty, and mispend a word or two upon their long-wasted, but short-skirted patience: a little use of my stirrup will doe no harme.

_Ridentem dicere verum, quid prohibet?_

_Gray Gravity it selfe can well beteam, That Language be adapted to the Theme. He that to Parrots speaks, must parrotize: He that instructs a foole, may act th' unwise._

It is known more then enough, that I am neither Nigard, nor Cinick, to the due bravery of the true Gentry: if any man mislikes a bully mong drossock more then I, let him take her for his labour: I honour the woman that can honour her selfe with her attire: a good Text alwayes deserves a fair Margent: I am not much offended if I see a trimme, far trimmer than she that wears it: in a word, whatever Christianity or Civility will allow, I can afford with _London_ measure: but when I heare a nugiperous Gentledame inquire what dresse the Queen is in this week: what the nudiustertian fashion of the Court; I meane the very newest: with egge to be in it in all haste, what ever it be; I look at her as the very gizzard of a trifle, the product of a quarter of a cypher, the epitome of nothing, fitter to be kickt, if shee were of a kickable substance, than either honour'd or humour'd.

To speak moderately, I truly confesse, it is beyond the ken of my understanding to conceive, how those women should have any true grace, or valuable vertue, that have so little wit, as to disfigure themselves with such exotick garbes, as not only dismantles their native lovely lustre, but transclouts them into gant bar-geese, ill-shapen-shotten-shell-fish, Egyptian Hyeroglyphicks, or at the best into French flurts of the pastery, which a proper English woman should scorne with her heels: it is no marvell they weare drailes on the hinder part of their heads, having nothing as it seems in the fore-part, but a few Squirrils brains to help them frisk from ill-favor'd fashion to another.

_These whimm' Crown'd shees, these fashion-fansying wits, Are empty thin brain'd shells, and fiddling Kits._

The very troublers and impoverishers of mankind, I can hardly forbear to commend to the world a saying of a Lady living sometime with the Queen of _Bohemia_, I know not where shee found it, but it is pitty it should be lost.

_The World is full of care, much like unto a bubble; Women and care, and care and women, and women and care and trouble._

The Verses are even enough for such odde pegma's. I can make my selfe sicke at any time, with comparing the dazling splender wherewith our Gentlewomen were embellished in some former habits, with the gut-foundred goosdom, wherewith they are now surcingled and debauched. Wee have about five or six of them in our Colony: if I see any of them accidentally, I cannot cleanse my phansie of them for a moneth after. I have been a solitary widdower almost twelve yeares, purposed lately to make a step over to my Native Country for a yoke-fellow: but when I consider how women there have tripe-wifed themselves with their cladments, I have no heart to the voyage, least their nauseous shapes and the Sea, should work too sorely upon my stomach. I speak sadly; me thinkes it should breake the hearts of English-men to see so many goodly English-women imprisoned in French Cages, peering out of their hood-holes for some men of mercy to help them with a little wit, and no body relieves them.

It is a more common then convenient saying, that nine Taylors make a man: it were well if nineteene could make a woman to her minde: if Taylors were men indeed, well furnished but with meer morall principles, they would disdain to be led about like Apes, by such mymick Marmosets. It is a most unworthy thing, for men that have bones in them, to spend their lives in making fidle-cases for futilous womens phansies; which are the very pettitoes of infirmity, the gyblets of perquisquilian toyes. I am so charitable to think, that most of that mystery would worke the cheerfuller while they live, if they might bee well discharged of the tyring slavery of mis-tyring women: it is no little labour to be continually putting up English-women into Out-landish caskes: who if they be not shifted anew, once in a few moneths, grow too sowre for their Husbands. What this Trade will answer for themselves when God shall take measure of Taylors consciences is beyond my skill to imagine. There was a time when

_The joyning of the Red-Rose with the White, Did set our State into a Damask plight._

But now our Roses are turned to _Flore de lices_, our Carnations to Tulips, our Gilliflowers to Dayzes, our City-Dames, to an indenominable Quaemalry of overturcas'd things. Hee that makes Coates for the Moone, had need take measure every noone; and he that makes for women, as often, to keepe them from Lunacy.

I have often heard divers Ladies vent loud feminine complaints of the wearisome varieties and chargable changes of fashions: I marvell themselves preferre not a Bill of redresse. I would[2] _Essex_ Ladies would lead the _Chore_, for the honour of their County and persons; or rather the thrice honourable Ladies of the Court, whom it best beseemes: who may wel presume of a _Le Roy le veult_ from our sober King, a _Les Seigneurs ont Assentus_ from our prudent Peers, and the like _Assentus_ from our considerate, I dare not say wife-worne Commons: who I beleeve had much rather passe one such Bill, than pay so many Taylors Bills as they are forced to doe.

[2] All the Counties and shires of England have had wars in them since the Conquest, but Essex, which is onely free, and should be thankfull.

Most deare and unparallel'd Ladies, be pleased to attempt it: as you have the precellency of the women of the world for beauty and feature; so assume the honour to give, and not take Law from any, in matter of attire: if ye can transact so faire a motion among yourselves unanimously, I dare say, they that most renite, will least repent. What greater honour can your Honors desire, then to build a Promontory president to all foraigne Ladies, to deserve so eminently at the hands of all the English Gentry present and to come: and to confute the opinion of all the wise men in the world; who never thought it possible for women to doe so good a work?

If any man think I have spoken rather merrily than seriously he is much mistaken, I have written what I write with all the indignation I can, and no more then I ought. I confesse I veer'd my tongue to this kinde of Language _de industria_ though unwillingly, supposing those I speak to are uncapable of grave and rationall arguments.

I desire all Ladies and Gentlewomen to understand that all this while I intend not such as through necessary modesty to avoyd morose singularity, follow fashions slowly, a flight shot or two off, shewing by their moderation, that they rather draw countermont with their hearts, then put on by their examples.

I point my pen only against the light-heel'd beagles that lead the chase so fast, that they run all civility out of breath, against these Ape-headed pullets, which invent Antique foole-fangles, meerly for fashion and novelty sake.

In a word, if I begin once to declaime against fashions, let men and women look well about them, there is somewhat in the businesse; I confesse to the world, I never had grace enough to be strict in that kinde; and of late years, I have found syrrope of pride very wholesome in a due _Dos_, which makes mee keep such store of that drugge by me, that if any body comes to me for a question-full or two about fashions, they never complain of me for giving them hard measure, or under-weight.

But I addresse my self to those who can both hear and mend all if they please: I seriously feare, if the pious Parliament doe not finde a time to state fashions, as ancient Parliaments have done in some part, God will hardly finde a time to state Religion or Peace: They are the surquedryes of pride, the wantonnesse of idlenesse, provoking sins, the certain prodromies of assured judgement, _Zeph. 1. 7, 8_.

It is beyond all account, how many Gentlemens and Citizens estates are deplumed by their feather-headed wives, what usefull supplies the pannage of _England_ would afford other Countries, what rich returnes to it selfe, if it were not slic'd out into male and female fripperies: and what a multitude of misimploy'd hands, might be better improv'd in some more manly Manufactures for the publique weale: it is not easily credible, what may be said of the preterpluralities of Taylors in _London_: I have heard an honest man say, that not long since there were numbered between _Temple-barre_ and _Charing-Crosse_, eight thousand of that Trade: let it be conjectured by that proportion how many there are in and about _London_, and in all _England_, they will appeare to be very numerous. If the Parliament would please to mend women, which their Husbands dare not doe, there need not so many men to make and mend as there are. I hope the present dolefull estate of the Realme, will perswade more strongly to some considerate course herein, than I now can.

Knew I how to bring it in, I would speak a word to long haire, whereof I will say no more but this: if God proves not such a Barbor to it as he threatens, unlesse it be amended, _Esa. 7. 20._ before the Peace of the State and Church be well setled, then let my prophesie be scorned, as a sound minde scornes the ryot of that sin, and more it needs not. If those who are tearmed Rattle-heads and Impuritans, would take up a Resolution to begin in moderation of haire, to the just reproach of those that are called Puritans and Round-heads, I would honour their manlinesse, as much as the others godlinesse, so long as I knew what man or honour meant: if neither can find a Barbours shop, let them turne in, to _Psal. 68. 21._ _Jer. 7. 29._ _1 Cor. 11. 14._ if it be thought no wisdome in men to distinguish themselves in the field by the Scissers, let it bee thought no injustice in God, not to distinguish them by the Sword. I had rather God should know me by my sobriety, than mine enemy not know me by my vanity. He is ill kept, that is kept by his owne sin. A short promise is a farre safer guard than a long lock: it is an ill distinction which God is loth to looke at, and his Angels cannot know his Saints by. Though it be not the mark of the Beast, yet it may be the mark of a beast prepared to slaughter. I am sure men use not to weare such manes; I am also sure Souldiers use to weare other marklets or notadoes in time of battell.

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Having done with the upper part of my work, I would now with all humble willingnesse set on the best peece of Soule-leather I have, did I not feare I should break my All, which though it may be a right old English blade, yet it is but little and weake. I should esteeme it the best piece of workmanship my Cobling hand every wrought, if it would please Him whose worke it is, to direct me to speake such a word over the sea, as the good old woman of _Abel_ did over the wall, in the like exigent: but alas, I am but simple. What if I be?

_When States dishelv'd are, and Lawes untwist, Wise men keep their tongues, fools speak what they list._

I would not be so unwise as to grieve the wise, if I were wise enough to foresee it: I would speake nothing to the Cause or Continuance of these wearisome Warres hitherto; the one is enough debated, the other more than enough peracted. Nor would I declaime of the uncomlinesse, unbrotherlinesse, unseasonablenesse and unreasonablenesse of these direfull digladiations: every stroak strucke sounds too loud upon this harsh string. I would much rather speake perswasives to a comely brotherly seasonable and reasonable cessation of Armes on both sides, by a drawn battaile: Wherein if I shall adventure a few over-bold words, I intreat my ignorance, impartiality, and Loyalty may plead pardon for me.

Foure meanes there are, and no more, within the compasse of my consideration, conducing to what is desired. Either to get the Standard fixed in heaven by the Lord of Hosts taken downe, I meane by Reformation: Or to set up white colours instead of red, on one side or other, I meane by Composition: Or by furling up all the Ensignes on both sides, I meane by mutuall and generall Cessation: Or by still displaying all the Colours and Cornets of every batallion, I mean by prosecution: without Reformation there will hardly be any Composition; without Composition little hope of Cessation; without Cessation there must and will be Prosecution; which God forbid.

_Reformation._

When the Roman Standard was defixed with such difficulty at the battell between _Hanniball_ and _Flaminius_ at _Thrasimene_, it proved an ill Omen. _When God gives quietnesse, who can make trouble; when he hideth his face, who can behold him?_ _Whether it be against a nation or a man onely._ _That the Hypocrite reigne not, lest the people be insnared_, _Job 34. 29, 30_. How can the sword of the Lord put it selfe up into its scabbard and be quiet, when himself hath given it a charge to the contrary? _Jer. 47. 6, 7_. It was a Cardinall Truth which Cardinall _Poole_ spake to H. 8. _Penes Reges est inferre bellum, penes autem Deum terminare._ If Kings will make their beginnings, God will make his ends: much more when himselfe begins: _When I begin I will also make an end_, _1 Sam. 3. 12_. Farre better were it, for men to make an end with him in time, than put him to make such an end with them as he there intends.

Politicall Reformation he seemes to call for now _indigitanter_. When he beholds Christian Kingdomes and States unsound in their foundations, illineall in their superstructures, unjust in their administrations; he kicks them in peeces with the foot of his Indignation: But when Religious Statesmen frame and build by the levell and plummet of his wisdome, then people may say as his servants of old, _Looke upon Zion the City of our Solemnities; Your eyes shall see it a quiet habitation, a Tabernacle that shall not be taken down; not one of the stakes thereof shall be removed, neither shall any of the coards thereof bee broken_; _Isa. 33. 20._ neither by civill Commotions nor foraign Invasions. When the coards of a State are exquisitely tight, and the stakes firmely pitched; such a Tent though but a Tent shall not easily flutter or fall: But _if the Tacklings be so loose, that the maine Mast cannot stand steady, nor the Saile be well spread; then may the lame take and divide a great prey_, ver. 23. If Religion, Laws, Liberties, Affections, Conversations, and foraigne Federacies be slight; the strength of strong men shall be weaknesse, and the weaknesse of the weak victorious.

_Pura politeja ne unum admittit solaecismulum, neque valet, praescriptio in politicis aut moralibus._ It may maintain a bright conjecture, against a rusty Truth: a legible possession, against an obliterate Claime: an inconvenience, against a convenience; where no cleare remedy may be had: but never any thing that is formally sinfull, or materially mischievous. When rotten States are soundly mended from head to foot, proportions duly admeasured, Justice justly dispenced; then shall Rulers and Subjects have peace with God and themselves: but till then, the gayest Kingdomes shall be but ruffling scuffling, removing and commoving hovells. For _England_, however the upper Stories are shroadly shattered; yet the foundations and frame being good or mendable by the Architectors now at worke, there is good hope, when peace is setled, people shall dwell more wind-tight and water-tight than formerly. I earnestly wish our Mr. Builders to remember, that punctuality in Divinity and Politie, is but regularity; that what is amisse in the mould, will misfashion the prosult: and that if this market be slipt, things may grow as deare as ever they were. Most expert Gentlemen, bee intreated at length to set our Head right on our shoulders, that we may once look upwards and goe forwards like proper Englishmen.

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God will also have Ecclesiasticall Reformation now, or nothing: And here he stands not upon Kings, Parliaments or Assemblies, but upon his own Termes. I feare hee will have all drosse and base metalls throughly melted away by these combustions, before Hee quenches them; all his Ordinances and vessells cast into his owne fashion, in his own mould, to his own _amussim_, before he restores peace. There was not a stone left upon a stone of the old Temple, before the new was erected. If this first worke bee throughly and throughoutly dispatched as I hope it is, the great _Remora_ is removed. If the Parliament and Assembly be pleased to be as curious and industrious as I have seen a great Popish Bishop in execcrating a Protestant Parish Church one day, and consecrating it the next; they may adjourn awhile with leave enough.

Some ten or twelve years before these Wars there came to my view these two Predictions.

1. _When God shall purge this Land with soap and nitre, Woe be to the Crowne, woe be to the Mitre._

The accent of the blow shall fall there.

He that pities not the Crowne, pities not his owne soule. Hee that pities not those that wore the Mitre, more than they pitied themselves, or the Churches over which they insulted, or the State then corrupted and now Corruined by their pride and negligence, is to blame.

2. _There is a set of Bishops comming next behind, Will ride the devill off his legs, and break his wind._

Poore men! they might have kept his backe till this time for ought I know, had they not put him beyond his pace: but Schollers must gallop, though they tumble for it. Yet I commend them for this, they gave him such straynes as made him blow short ever since. I doubt the Assembly troubles him; and I doubt he troubles them. Well, the Bishops are gone: If they have carried away with them all that was in the pockets of their Holliday hose, fare them well; let them come againe when I give them a new _Conge d' slier_, or send a Pursuivant for them; which if I doe, I shall never trust myselfe more, though they have often done it for me, who never deserved that honour. Some of them I confesse were very honest men, and would have been honester if they dared for their fellows.

The sad worke now, is to institute better things in their Roome, and to induct better men in their roome; rather where, and how to finde those things, they having cunningy laid them so farre out of the way; I doubt some good men cannot see them, when they look full upon them: it is like, the Bishops carryed away their eyes with them, but I feare they left their Spectacles behind them. I use no spectacles, yet my eyes are not fine enough, nor my hand steady enough to cut by such fine threads as are now spun. I am I know not what; I cannot tell what to make of my selfe, nor I think no body else: My Trade is to finde more faults than others will mend; and I am very diligent at it; yet it scarce findes me a living, though the Country findes me more worke than I can turne my hand to.

For Church work, I am neither Presbyterian, nor plebsbyterian, but an Interpendent: My task is to sit and study how shapeable the Independent way will be to the body of _England_, then my head akes on one side; and how suitable the Presbyterian way, as we heare it propounded, will bee to the minde of Christ, then my head akes on the other side: but when I consider how the Parliament will commoderate a way out of both, then my head leaves aking: I am not, without some contrivalls in my patching braines; but I had rather suppose them to powder, than expose them to preregular, much lesse to preter-regular Judgements: I shall therefore rejoyce that the work is faln into so good hands, heads, and hearts, who will weigh Rules by Troyweight, and not by the old Haber-du-pois: and rather then meddle where I have so little skill, I will sit by and tell my feares to them that have the patience to heare them, and leave the red-hot question to them that dare handle it.

I fear many holy men have not so deeply humbled themselves for their former mis-worshippings of God as he will have them before he reveales his secrets to them: as they accounted things indifferent, so they account indifferent repentance will serve turne. _Son of man, if my people be ashamed of all that they have done, then shew them the forme of the house, and the fashion thereof_, else not, _Ezek. 43. 11_. A sin in Gods worship, that seemes small in the common beame of the world, may be very great in the scales of his Sanctuary. Where God is very jealous, his servants should be very cautelous.

I feare, the furnace wherein our new formes are casting, is over-heat, and casts smoake in the eyes of our founders, that they cannot well see what they doe, or ought to doe; _Omne perit judicium cum res transit in affectum._ Truth and peace are the _Castor_ and _Pollux_ of the Gospell: they that seek the one without the other, are like to finde neither: Anger will hinder domestick Prayers, much more Ecclesiastique Councels. What is produced by tumult, is either deficient or redundant. When the judgements of good men concurre with a harmonious Diapason, the result is melodious and commodious. Warring and jarring men are no builders of houses for God, though otherwise very good. Instruments may be well made and well strung, but if they be not well fretted, the Musique is marred. The great Turke hearing Musitians so long a tuning, he thought it stood not with his state to wait for what would follow. When Christ whips Market-makers out of his Temple, he raises dust: but when he enters in with Truth and Holinesse, he calls for deep silence, _Hab. 2. 20_. There must not a toole be heard when the Tabernacle is reared: Nor is that amiable or serviceable to men that passeth through so many ill animadversions of Auditors and Spectators. If the Assembly can hardly agree what to determine, people will not easily agree what to accept.

I fear, these differences and delayes have occasioned men to make more new discoveries then otherwise they would. If publique Assemblies of Divines cannot agree upon a right way, private Conventicles of illiterate men, will soon find a wrong. Bivious demurres breed devious resolutions. Passengers to heaven are in haste, and will walk one way or other. He that doubts of his way, thinkes hee loses his day: and when men are gone awhile, they will be loth to turn back. If God hide his path, Satan is at hand to turn Convoy: If any have a minde to ride poste, he will helpe them with a fresh spavin'd Opinion at every Stage.

_Where clocks will stand, and Dials have no light, There men must goe by guesse, be't wrong or right._

I feare, if the Assembly of all Divines, doe not consent, and concenter the sooner, God will breath a spirit of wisedome and meeknesse, into the Parliament of no Divines, to whom the Imperative and Coactive power supremely belongs, to consult such a contemperate way, as shall best please him, and profit his Churches, so that it shall be written upon the doore of the Assembly; _The Lord was not there._