Chapter 15

1. Which wouldest thou have prevail; the desires of the flesh, or the lusts of the spirit? Whose side art thou of? Doth thy soul now inwardly say, and that with a strong indignation, "Oh, let God, let grace, let my desires that are good, prevail against my flesh, for Jesus Christ's sake?"

2. What kind of secret wishes hast thou in thy soul, when thou feelest the lusts of thy flesh to rage? Dost thou not inwardly, and with indignation against sin, say, "O that I might never, never feel one such motion more. O that my soul were so full of grace, that there might be no longer room for even the least lust to come into my thoughts?"

3. What kind of thoughts hast thou of thyself, now thou seest those desires of thine that are good so briskly opposed by those that are bad? Dost thou not say, "Oh, I am the basest of creatures; I could even spew at myself. There is no man in all the world, in my eyes, so loathsome as myself is. I abhor myself; a toad is not so vile as I am. O Lord, let me be any thing but a sinner; any thing, so thou subduest mine iniquities for me?"

4. How dost thou like the discovery of that which thou thinkest is grace in other men! Dost thou not cry out, "Oh, I bless them in my heart! Oh, methinks grace is the greatest beauty in the world! Yea, I could be content to live and die with those people that have the grace of God in their souls. A hundred times, and a hundred when I have been upon my knees before God, I have desired, were it the will of God, that I might be in their condition?"

5. How art thou, when thou thinkest that thou thyself hast grace? "Oh, then," says the soul, "I am as if I could leap out of myself; joy, joy, joy then is in my heart. It is, methinks, the greatest mercy under heaven to be made a gracious man."

And is it thus with thy soul indeed? Happy man! It is grace that has thy soul, though sin at present works in thy flesh. Yea, all those breathings are the very actings of grace, even of the grace of desire, of love, of humility, and of the fear of God within thee. Be of good courage; thou art on the right side.

"I find," says the doubting Christian, "weakness and faintness as to my graces; my faith, my hope, my love and desires to these and all other Christian duties, are weak: I am like the man in the dream, that would have run, but could not; that would have fought, but could not, and that would have fled, but could not."

ANSWER. Weak graces are graces--weak graces may grow stronger; but if the iron be blunt, put to the more strength. Eccles. 10:10. Christ seems to be most tender of the weak: "He shall gather lambs with his arm, shall carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead them that are with young." Only here thy wisdom will be manifested, to wit, that thou grow in grace, and that thou use lawfully and diligently the means to do it. 2 Pet. 3:18; Phil. 3:10, 11; I Thess. 3:11-13.

I never heard a presumptuous man in my life say that he was afraid that he presumed; but I have heard many an honest, humble soul say that they have been afraid that their faith has been presumptive.

INDWELLING SIN.

A man, in mind and affections, may depart from that which yet will not depart from him, yea, a man in mind may depart from that which yet will dwell in him as long as he lives.

For instance, there are many diseases that cleave to men, from which in their minds they willingly depart; yea, their greatest disquietment is, that so bad a distemper will abide by them; and might they but have their desire accomplished, they would be as far therefrom as the ends of the earth are asunder: and while they are found to continue together, the mind departs therefrom, and is gone either to God or to physicians for help and deliverance from it.

And thus it is with the saint, and should be with every one that by way of profession nameth the name of Christ, Rom. 7; he should depart from his indwelling sin with his mind: "With his mind he should serve the law of God."

MR. FEARING.

HONEST. It seems he was well at last.

GREAT-HEART. Yes, yes; I never had a doubt about him. He was a man of a choice spirit; only he was always kept very low, and that made his life so burdensome to himself and so very troublesome to others. He was, above many, tender of sin; he was so afraid of doing injuries to others, that he would often deny himself of that which was lawful, because he would not offend.

HONEST. But what should be the reason that such a good man should be all his days so much in the dark?

GREAT-HEART. There are two sorts of reasons for it. One is, the wise God will have it so; some must pipe, and some must weep: now, Mr. Fearing was one that played upon the bass. He and his fellows sound the sackbut, whose notes are more doleful than the notes of other music are, though indeed some say the bass is the ground of music. And, for my part, I care not at all for that profession that begins not in heaviness of mind. The first string that the musician usually touches is the bass, when he intends to put all in tune; God also plays upon this string first, when he sets the soul in tune for himself. Only, there was the imperfection of Mr. Fearing, he could play upon no other music but this till towards his latter end.

HONEST. He was a very zealous man, as one may see by the relation which you have given of him. Difficulties, lions, or Vanity Fair, he feared not at all: it was only sin, death, and hell that were to him a terror, because he had some doubts about his interest in that celestial country.

When he was come at the river where was no bridge, there he was in a heavy case. "Now, now," he said, "he should be drowned for ever, and so never see that face with comfort, that he had come so many miles to behold." And here I took notice of what was very remarkable--the water of that river was lower at this time than ever I saw it in all my life; so he went over at last, not much above wet-shod When he was going up to the gate, Mr. Great-heart began to take his leave of him, and to wish him a good reception above; so he said, "I shall, I shall;" then parted we asunder, and I saw him no more.

ENCOURAGEMENT FOR THE DOUBTING CHRISTIAN.

Doth this water of life run like a river, like a broad, full, and deep river? Then let no man, be his transgressions never so many, fear at all but there is enough to save his soul and to spare. Nothing has been more common to many, than to doubt the grace of God: a thing most unbecoming a sinner of any thing in the world. To break the law, is a fact foul enough; but to question the sufficiency of the grace of God to save therefrom, is worse than sin, if worse can be. Wherefore, despairing soul, for it is to thee I speak, forbear thy mistrusts, cast off thy slavish fears, hang thy misgivings as to this upon the hedge, and believe; thou hast an invitation sufficient thereto, a river is before thy face. And as for thy want of goodness and works, let that by no means daunt thee; this is a river of water of life, streams of grace and mercy. There is, as I said, enough therein to help thee, for grace brings all that is wanting to the soul. Thou, therefore, hast nothing to do--I mean as to the curing of thy soul of its doubts and fears and despairing thoughts--but to drink and live for ever.

PRUDENCE. Can you remember by what means you find your annoyances, at times, as if they were vanquished?

CHRISTIAN. Yes; when I think on what I saw at the cross, that will do it; and when I look upon my embroidered coat, that will do it; and when I look into the roll that I carry in my bosom, that will do it; and when my thoughts wax warm about whither I am going, that will do it.

PRUDENCE. And what is it that makes you so desirous to go to mount Zion?

CHRISTIAN. Why, there I hope to see him alive that did hang dead on the cross, and there I hope to be rid of all those things that to this day are in me, an annoyance to me: there, they say, there is no death; and there shall I dwell with such company as I like best. For, to tell you the truth, I love him because I was by him eased of my burden; and I am weary of my inward sickness. I would fain be where I shall die no more, and with the company that shall continually cry, "Holy, holy, holy!"

Be often remembering what a blessed thing it is to be saved, to go to heaven, to be made like angels, and to dwell with God and Christ to all eternity.

ADOPTION.

The Spirit cannot, after he hath come to the soul as a Spirit of adoption, come again as a Spirit of bondage to put the soul into his first fear, to wit, a fear of eternal damnation, because he cannot say and unsay, do and undo. As a Spirit of adoption, he told me that my sins were forgiven me and I was included in the covenant of grace, that God was my Father through Christ, that I was under the promise of salvation, and that this calling and gift of God to me are permanent and without repentance. And do you think that, after he told me this, and sealed up the truth of it to my precious soul, he will come to me and tell me that I am yet in my sins, under the curse of the law and the eternal wrath of God? No, no; the word of the gospel is not yea, yea; nay, nay. It is only yea and amen; it is so, "as God is true." 2 Cor. 17:20.

Sin, after that the Spirit of adoption has come, cannot dissolve the relations of Father and son, of Father and child. And this the church did rightly assert, and that when her heart was under great hardness and when she had the guilt of erring from his ways; saith she, "Doubtless thou art our Father:" doubtless thou art, though this be our case, and though Israel should not acknowledge us for such.

That sin dissolveth not the relation of Father and son, is further evident: When the fulness of time was come, God sent forth his Son made of a woman, made under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons. And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, "Father, Father!" Now mark: "Wherefore, thou art no more a servant;" that is, no more under the law of death and damnation, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.

Suppose a child doth grievously transgress against and offend his father; is the relation between them therefore dissolved? Again, suppose the father should scourge and chasten the son for such offences, is the relation between them therefore dissolved? Yea, suppose the child should now, through ignorance, cry and say, "This man is now no more my father;" is he therefore no more his father? Doth not every body see the folly of arguings? Why, of the same nature is the doctrine, the faith, that after we have received the Spirit of adoption, the Spirit of bondage is sent to us again to put us in fear of eternal damnation.

Know then that thy sin, after thou hast received the Spirit of adoption to cry unto God, "Father, Father," is counted the transgression of a child, not of a slave; and that all that happeneth to thee for that transgression is but the chastisement of a father: "And what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?"

Now let not any, from what hath been said, take courage to live loose lives, under a supposition that once in Christ they are ever in Christ, and the covenant cannot he broken, nor the relation of Father and child dissolved; for they that do so, it is evident, have not known what it is to receive the Spirit of adoption. It is the spirit of the devil, in his own hue, that suggesteth this unto them, and that prevaileth with them to do so. Shall we do evil that good may come? Shall we sin that grace may abound; or shall we be base in life because God by grace hath secured us from wrath to come? God forbid: these conclusions betoken one void of the fear of God indeed, and of the Spirit of adoption too.

Though God cannot, will not dissolve the relation which the Spirit of adoption hath made betwixt the Father and the sons, for any sins that such do commit; yet he can and often doth take away from them the comfort of their adoption, not suffering children while sinning to have the sweet and comfortable sense thereof on their hearts.

God can lay thee in the dungeon in chains, and roll a stone upon thee; he can make thy feet fast in the stocks, and make thee a gazing-stock for men and angels.

God can tell how to cause to cease the sweet operations and blessed influences of his grace in thy soul; to make those gospel-showers that formerly thou hast enjoyed, to become now to thee nothing but powder and dust.

God can tell how to fight against thee with the sword of his mouth, and to make thee a butt for his arrows; and this is a dispensation most dreadful.

God can tell how to bow thee down with guilt and distress, that thou shalt in nowise be able to lift up thy head.

God can tell how to break thy bones, and to make thee, by reason of that, to live in continual anguish of spirit; yea, he can send a fire into thy bones that shall burn, and none shall quench it.

God can tell how to lay thee aside, and make no use of thee as to any work for him in thy generation. He can throw thee aside as a broken vessel.

God can tell how to kill thee, and take thee away from the earth for thy sins.

God can tell how to plague thee in thy death, with great plagues and of long continuance.

What shall I say? God can tell how to let Satan loose upon thee; when thou liest dying, he can license him then to assault thee with great temptations; he can tell how to make thee possess the guilt of all thy unkindness towards him, and that when thou, as I said, art going out of the world; he can cause that thy life shall be in continual doubt before thee, and not suffer thee to take any comfort day or night; yea, he can drive thee even to a madness with his chastisements for thy folly, and yet all shall be done by him to thee as a father chastiseth his son.

Further, God can tell how to tumble thee from off thy death-bed in a cloud, he can let thee die in the dark; when thou art dying, thou shalt not know whither thou art going, to wit, whether to heaven or to hell. Yea, he can tell how to let thee seem to come short of life, both in thine own eyes and also in the eyes of them that behold thee. "Let us therefore fear," says the apostle--though not with slavish, yet with filial fear--"lest, a promise being left us of entering into rest, any of us should seem to come short of it."

Now all this and much more can God do to his, as a father by his rod and a father by rebukes: ah, who know but those that are under them, what terrors, fears, distresses, and amazements, God can bring his people into? He can put them into a furnace, a fire, and no tongue can tell what, so unsearchable and fearful are his fatherly chastisements, and yet never give them the spirit of bondage again to fear. Therefore, if thou art a son, take heed of sin, lest all these things overtake thee and come upon thee.

Dost thou fear the Lord? "The mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on them that fear him."

Child of God, thou that fearest God, here is mercy nigh thee, mercy enough, everlasting mercy upon thee. This is long-lived mercy. It will live longer than thy sin; it will live longer than temptation; it will live longer than thy sorrows; it will live longer than thy persecutors. It is mercy from everlasting to contrive thy salvation, and mercy to everlasting to resist all thy adversaries. Now what can hell and death do to him that hath this mercy of God upon him? And this hath the man that feareth the Lord.

Take that other blessed word, and O, thou man that fearest the Lord, hang it like a chain of gold about thy neck: "As the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy to them that fear him." If mercy as big, as high, and as good as heaven itself will be a privilege, the man that feareth God shall have the privilege.

CHRIST OUR LIFE.

Here is my life, namely, the birth of this Man, the righteousness of this man, the blood of this man, the death and resurrection of this man, the ascension and intercession of this man for me, and the second coming of this man to judge the world in righteousness. I say, here is my life, if I see this by faith without me, through the operation of the Spirit within me: I am safe, I am at peace, I am comforted, I am encouraged; and I know that my comfort, peace, and encouragement is true, and given me from heaven by the Father of mercies, through the Son of the Virgin Mary--the Son of man, the Son of God, the true God.

UNION WITH CHRIST.

Stay not in some transient comforts, but abide restless till thou seest a union betwixt thee and this blessed One, to wit, that he is a root and thou a branch--that he is head, and thou a member. And then shalt thou know that the case is so between thee and him, when grace and his Spirit have made thee to lay the whole stress of thy justification upon him, and have subdued thy heart and mind to be one spirit with him.

LIFE OF FAITH.

O man or woman, whoever thou art, that art savingly convinced by the Spirit of Christ, thou hast such an endless desire after the Lord Jesus Christ, that thou canst not be content with any thing below the blood of the Son of God to purge thy conscience withal; even that blood that was shed without the gates. Also thou canst not be at quiet, till thou dost see by true faith that the righteousness of the Son of Mary is imputed unto thee and put upon thee. Rom. 3:21-23. Then also thou canst not be at quiet, till thou hast power over thy lusts and corruptions, till thou hast brought them into subjection to the Lord Jesus Christ. Then thou wilt never think that thou hast enough of faith: no, thou wilt be often crying out, "Lord, give me more precious faith; Lord, more faith in thy righteousness; more faith in thy blood and death; more faith in thy resurrection; and, Lord, more faith in this--that thou art now at the right hand of thy Father in thy human nature, making intercession for me a miserable sinner." And then, O poor soul, if thou comest but hither, thou wilt never have an itching ear after another gospel.

If thou wouldst be faithful to do that work that God has allotted thee to do in this world for his name labor to live in the savor and sense of thy freedom and liberty by Jesus Christ; that is, keep this, if possible, ever before thee--that thou art a redeemed one, taken out of this world and from under the curse of the law, out of the power of the devil, and placed in a kingdom of grace and forgiveness of sins for Christ's sake.

This is of absolute use in this matter; yea, so absolute that it is impossible for any Christian to do his work christianly, without some enjoyment of it.

The first thing of which the soul is sick, and by which the conscience receiveth wounding, is the GUILT of sin and fear of the curse of God for it; for which are provided the wounds and precious blood of Christ, which flesh and blood, if the soul eat thereof by faith, give deliverance therefrom. Upon this FILTH of sin appears most odious; for that it hath not only at present defiled the soul, but because it keeps it from doing those duties of love which by the love of Christ it is constrained to endeavor the perfecting of. For filth appears filth, that is, irksome and odious to a contrary principle now implanted in the soul; which principle had its conveyance thither by faith in the sacrifice and death of Christ going before. "The love of Christ constraineth us; because we thus judge, that if one died for all, then were all dead: and that he died for all, that they who live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but to him that died for them and rose again."

The man that has received Christ desires to be holy, because the nature of the faith that lays hold on Christ worketh by love, and longeth, yea, greatly longeth, that the soul may be brought not only into a universal conformity to his will, but into his very likeness; and because that state agreeth not with what we are now, but with what we shall be hereafter: "Therefore in this we groan, being burdened" with that which is of a contrary nature, "earnestly desiring to be clothed upon with our house which is from heaven;" which state is not that of Adam'a innocency, but that which is spiritual and heavenly, even that which is now in the Lord in heaven.

Blessed be God for Jesus Christ, and for that he took our nature and sin and curse and death upon him; and for that he did also by himself, by one offering, purge our sins. We that have believed have found rest, even there where Christ and his Father have smelled a sweet savor of rest: because we are presented to God even now complete in the righteousness of him, and stand discharged of guilt even by the faith of him; yea, as sins past, so sins to come, were taken up and satisfied for by that offering of the body of Jesus. We who have had a due sense of sins, and of the nature of the justice of God, know that no remission of the guilt of any one can be, but by atonement made by blood. Heb. 9:22.

We also know that where faith in Jesus Christ is wanting, there can be neither good principle, nor good endeavor; for faith is the first of all graces, and without it there is nothing but sin. Rom. 14:23.

We know also that faith, as a grace in us, severed from the righteousness of Christ, is only a beholder of things, but not a justifier of persons; and that if it lay not hold of and applieth not that righteousness which is in Christ, it carries us no further than to the devils.

We know that this doctrine killeth sin, and curseth it at the very roots: I say, we know it, who have mourned over him whom we have pierced, and who have been confounded to see that God by his blood should be pacified towards us for all the wickedness we have done. Yea, we have a double motive to be holy and humble before him: one, because he died for us on earth; another, because he now appears for us in heaven, there sprinkling for us the mercy-seat with his blood, there ever living to make intercession for them that come unto God by him. "If any man sin, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous, who is the propitiation for our sins." Yet this works in us no looseness nor favor to sin, but so much the more an abhorrence of it: "She loveth much, for much was forgiven her;" yea, she weeps, she washeth his feet, and wipeth them with the hairs of her head, to the confounding of Simon the Pharisee, and all such ignorant hypocrites.

DIVINE LOVE IMPROVED.

Empty notions of the love of God and of Christ will do nothing but harm; wherefore they are not empty notions that I press thee to rest in, but that thou labor after the knowledge of the savor of this good ointment which the apostle calls "the savor of the knowledge of this Lord Jesus." Know it until it becomes sweet or pleasant to thy soul, and then it will preserve and keep thee. Make this love of God and of Christ thine own, and not another's. Many there are that can talk largely of the love of God to Abraham, to David, to Peter, and Paul. But that is not the thing. Give not over until this love be made thine own; until thou find and feel it to run warm in thy heart by the shedding of it abroad there, by the Spirit that God has given thee. Then thou wilt know it with an obliging and engaging knowledge; yea, then thou wilt know it with a soul-strengthening and soul-encouraging knowledge.

Wouldst thou improve this love of God and of Christ? then set it against the love of all other things whatsoever, even until this love shall conquer thy soul from the love of them to itself.