SCENE II.

_The Walk by the Severn Side._

_Enter_ MELINDA _and her Maid_ LUCY.

_Mel._ And pray was it a ring, or buckle, or pendants, or knots; or in what shape was the almighty gold transformed, that has bribed you so much in his favour?

_Lucy._ Indeed, madam, the last bribe I had from the captain, was only a small piece of Flanders' lace, for a cap.

_Mel._ Ay, Flanders' lace is a constant present from officers to their women. They every year bring over a cargo of lace, to cheat the king of his duty, and his subjects of their honesty.

_Lucy._ They only barter one sort of prohibited goods for another, madam.

_Mel._ Has any of them been bartering with you, Mrs. Pert, that you talk so like a trader?

_Lucy._ One would imagine, madam, by your concern for Worthy's absence, that you should use him better when he's with you.

_Mel._ Who told you, pray, that I was concerned for his absence? I'm only vexed that I have had nothing said to me these two days: as one may love the treason and hate the traitor. Oh! here comes another captain, and a rogue that has the confidence to make love to me; but indeed, I don't wonder at that, when he has the assurance to fancy himself a fine gentleman.

_Lucy._ If he should speak o' th' assignation I should be ruined! [_Aside._

_Enter_ BRAZEN.

_Brazen._ True to the touch, 'faith! [_Aside._] Madam, I am your humble servant, and all that, madam. A fine river, this same Severn--Do you love fishing, madam?

_Mel._ 'Tis a pretty melancholy amusement for lovers.

_Brazen._ I'll go and buy hooks and lines presently; for you must know, madam, that I have served in Flanders against the French, in Hungary against the Turks, and in Tangier against the Moors, and I was never so much in love before; and split me, madam, in all the campaigns I ever made, I have not seen so fine a woman as your ladyship.

_Mel._ And from all the men I ever saw, I never had so fine a compliment: but you soldiers are the best bred men, that we must allow.

_Brazen._ Some of us, madam; but there are brutes among us too, very sad brutes; for my own part, I have always had the good luck to prove agreeable. I have had very considerable offers, madam--I might have married a German princess, worth fifty thousand crowns a-year, but her stove disgusted me. The daughter of a Turkish bashaw fell in love with me, too, when I was a prisoner among the Infidels; she offered to rob her father of his treasure, and make her escape with me; but I don't know how, my time was not come: hanging and marriage, you know, go by destiny: Fate has reserved me for a Shropshire lady, worth twenty thousand pounds. Do you know any such person, madam?

_Mel._ Extravagant coxcomb! [_Aside._] To be sure, a great many ladies of that fortune would be proud of the name of Mrs. Brazen.

_Brazen._ Nay, for that matter, madam, there are women of very good quality of the name of Brazen.

_Enter_ WORTHY.

_Mel._ Oh, are you there, gentleman?--Come, captain, we'll walk this way. Give me your hand.

_Brazen._ My hand, heart's blood, and guts, are at your service. Mr. Worthy, your servant, my dear! [_Exit, leading_ MELINDA.

_Wor._ Death and fire! this is not to be borne!

_Enter_ PLUME.

_Plume._ No more it is, 'faith.

_Wor._ What?

_Plume._ The March beer at the Raven. I have been doubly serving the king, raising men, and raising the excise. Recruiting and elections are rare friends to the excise.

_Wor._ You a'n't drunk?

_Plume._ No, no, whimsical only; I could be mighty foolish, and fancy myself mighty witty. Reason still keeps its throne, but it nods a little, that's all.

_Wor._ Then you're just fit for a frolic.

_Plume._ Just so.

_Wor._ Then recover me that vessel, from that Tangerine.

_Plume._ She's well rigged, but how is she manned?

_Wor._ By Captain Brazen, that I told you of to-day; she is called the Melinda, a first rate I can assure you; she sheered off with him just now, on purpose to affront me; but according to your advice I would take no notice, because I would seem to be above a concern for her behaviour; but have a care of a quarrel.

_Plume._ No, no; I never quarrel with any thing in my cups, but an oyster-wench, or a cookmaid, and if they ben't civil, I knock them down. But hearkye, my friend, I'll make love, and I must make love--I tell you what, I'll make love like a platoon.

_Wor._ Platoon! how's that?

_Plume._ I'll kneel, stoop, and stand, 'faith: most ladies are gained by platooning.

_Wor._ Here they come; I must leave you. [_Exit._

_Plume._ So! now must I look as sober and demure as a whore at a christening.

_Enter_ BRAZEN _and_ MELINDA.

_Brazen._ Who's that, madam?

_Mel._ A brother officer of yours, I suppose, sir.

_Brazen._ Ay--my dear! [_To_ PLUME.

_Plume._ My dear! [_Run and embrace._

_Brazen._ My dear boy! how is't? Your name, my dear! If I be not mistaken, I have seen your face.

_Plume._ I never saw yours in my life, my dear----but there's a face well known as the sun's, that shines on all, and is by all adored.

_Brazen._ Have you any pretensions, sir?

_Plume._ Pretensions!

_Brazen._ That is, sir, have you ever served abroad?

_Plume._ I have served at home, sir, for ages served this cruel fair, and that will serve the turn, sir.

_Mel._ So, between the fool and the rake, I shall bring a fine spot of work upon my hands!

_Brazen._ Will you fight for the lady, sir?

_Plume._ No, sir, but I'll have her notwithstanding.

_Thou peerless princess of Salopian plains,_ _Envy'd by nymphs, and worshipp'd by the swains--_

_Brazen._ Oons, sir! not fight for her?

_Plume._ Pr'ythee be quiet--I shall be out--

_Behold, how humbly does the Severn glide,_ _To greet thee, princess of the Severn side._

_Brazen._ Don't mind him, madam--if he were not so well dressed, I should take him for a poet; but I'll show you the difference presently. Come, madam, we'll place you between us, and now the longest sword carries her. [_Draws._

Mel. [_Shrieking._]

_Enter_ WORTHY.

Oh, Mr. Worthy! save me from these madmen!

[_Exit with_ WORTHY.

_Plume._ Ha! ha! ha! why don't you follow, sir, and fight the bold ravisher?

_Brazen._ No, sir, you are my man.

_Plume._ I don't like the wages; I won't be your man.

_Brazen._ Then you're not worth my sword.

_Plume._ No; pray what did it cost?

_Brazen._ It cost me twenty pistoles in France, and my enemies thousands of lives in Flanders.

_Plume._ Then they had a dear bargain.

_Enter_ SYLVIA, _in Man's Apparel_.

_Syl._ Save ye, save ye! gentlemen.

_Brazen._ My dear, I'm yours.

_Plume._ Do you know the gentleman?

_Brazen._ No, but I will presently--Your name, my dear?

_Syl._ Wilful, Jack Wilful, at your service.

_Brazen._ What, the Kentish Wilfuls, or those of Staffordshire?

_Syl._ Both, sir, both; I'm related to all the Wilfuls in Europe, and I'm head of the family at present.

_Plume._ Do you live in the country, sir?

_Syl._ Yes, sir, I live where I stand; I have neither home, house, or habitation, beyond this spot of ground.

_Brazen._ What are you, sir?

_Syl._ A rake.

_Plume._ In the army, I presume.

_Syl._ No, but I intend to list immediately. Lookye, gentlemen, he that bids the fairest, has me.

_Brazen._ Sir, I'll prefer you; I'll make you a corporal this minute.

_Plume._ Corporal! I'll make you my companion; you shall eat with me.

_Brazen._ You shall drink with me. Then you shall receive your pay, and do no duty.

_Syl._ Then you must make me a field-officer.

_Plume._ Pho, pho, pho! I'll do more than all this; I'll make you a corporal, and give you a brevet for serjeant.

_Brazen._ Can you read and write, sir?

_Syl._ Yes.

_Brazen._ Then your business is done--I'll make you chaplain to the regiment.

_Syl._ Your promises are so equal, that I'm at a loss to chuse. There is one Plume, that I hear much commended, in town; pray, which of you is Captain Plume?

_Plume._ I am Captain Plume.

_Brazen._ No, no, I am Captain Plume.

_Syl._ Heyday!

_Plume._ Captain Plume! I'm your servant, my dear!

_Brazen._ Captain Brazen! I'm yours--The fellow dares not fight. [_Aside._

_Enter_ KITE.

_Kite._ Sir, if you please---- [_Goes to whisper_ PLUME.

_Plume._ No, no, there's your captain. Captain Plume, your serjeant has got so drunk, he mistakes me for you.

_Brazen._ He's an incorrigible sot. Here, my Hector of Holborn, here's forty shillings for you.

_Plume._ I forbid the bans. Lookye, friend, you shall list with Captain Brazen.

_Syl._ I will see Captain Brazen hanged first; I will list with Captain Plume: I am a free-born Englishman, and will be a slave my own way. Lookye, sir, will you stand by me? [_To_ BRAZEN.

_Brazen._ I warrant you, my lad.

_Syl._ Then I will tell you, Captain Brazen, [_To Plume_.] that you are an ignorant, pretending, impudent coxcomb.

_Brazen._ Ay, ay, a sad dog.

_Syl._ A very sad dog. Give me the money, noble Captain Plume.

_Plume._ Then you won't list with Captain Brazen?

_Syl._ I won't.

_Brazen._ Never mind him, child; I'll end the dispute presently. Harkye, my dear!

[_Takes_ PLUME _to one Side of the Stage, and entertains him in dumb Show_.

_Kite._ Sir, he in the plain coat is Captain Plume; I am his serjeant, and will take my oath on't.

_Syl._ What! you are serjeant Kite?

_Kite._ At your service.

_Syl._ Then I would not take your oath for a farthing.

_Kite._ A very understanding youth of his age: but I see a storm coming.

_Syl._ Now, serjeant, I shall see who is your captain, by your knocking down the other.

_Kite._ My captain scorns assistance, sir.

_Brazen._ How dare you contend for any thing, and not dare to draw your sword? But you are a young fellow, and have not been much abroad; I excuse that; but pr'ythee, resign the man, pr'ythee do: you are a very honest fellow.

_Plume._ You lie; and you are a son of a whore.

[_Draws, and makes up to_ BRAZEN.

_Brazen._ Hold, hold; did not you refuse to fight for the lady? [_Retiring._

_Plume._ I always do, but for a man I'll fight knee-deep; so you lie again.

[PLUME _and_ BRAZEN _fight a traverse or two about the Stage_, SYLVIA _draws, and is held by_ KITE, _who sounds to Arms with his Mouth, takes_ SYLVIA _in his Arms, and carries her off the Stage_.

_Brazen._ Hold! where's the man?

_Plume._ Gone.

_Brazen._ Then what do we fight for? [_Puts up._] Now let's embrace, my dear!

_Plume._ With all my heart, my dear! [_Putting up._] I suppose Kite has listed him by this time. [_Embraces._

_Brazen._ You are a brave fellow: I always fight with a man before I make him my friend; and if once I find he will fight, I never quarrel with him afterwards. And now I'll tell you a secret, my dear friend! that lady we frightened out of the walk just now, I found in bed this morning, so beautiful, so inviting; I presently locked the door--but I'm a man of honour--but I believe I shall marry her nevertheless--her twenty thousand pounds, you know, will be a pretty conveniency. I had an assignation with her here, but your coming spoiled my sport. Curse you, my dear, but don't do so again----

_Plume._ No, no, my dear! men are my business at present. [_Exeunt._

ACT THE FOURTH.