SCENE III.

_The Street._

_Enter_ KITE, _with_ COSTAR PEARMAIN _in one Hand, and_ THOMAS APPLETREE _in the other, drunk_.

KITE _sings_.

_Our 'prentice Tom may now refuse_ _To wipe his scoundrel master's shoes,_ _For now he's free to sing and play_ _Over the hills and far away._ _Over, &c._

[The Mob sing the Chorus.

_We shall lead more happy lives_ _By getting rid of brats and wives,_ _That scold and brawl both night and day,_ _Over the hills and far away._ _Over, &c._

_Kite._ Hey, boys! thus we soldiers live! drink, sing, dance, play;--we live, as one should say--we live--'tis impossible to tell how we live--we are all princes--why, why you are a king--you are an emperor, and I'm a prince--now, an't we?

_Tho._ No serjeant, I'll be no emperor.

_Kite._ No!

_Tho._ I'll be a justice of peace.

_Kite._ A justice of peace, man!

_Tho._ Ay, wauns will I; for since this pressing act, they are greater than any emperor under the sun.

_Kite._ Done; you are a justice of peace, and you are a king, and I am a duke, and a rum duke, an't I?

_Cost._ I'll be a queen.

_Kite._ A queen.

_Cost._ Ay, of England, that's greater than any king of them all.

_Kite._ Bravely said, 'faith! huzza for the queen. [_Huzza._] But harkye, you Mr. Justice, and you Mr. Queen, did you ever see the king's picture?

_Both._ No! no! no!

_Kite._ I wonder at that; I have two of them set in gold, and as like his majesty, God bless the mark! see here, they are set in gold.

[_Takes two broad pieces out of his pocket; presents one to each._

_Tho._ The wonderful works of nature! [_Looking at it._

What's this written about? here's a posy, I believe.--Ca-ro-lus!--what's that, serjeant?

_Kite._ O! Carolus! why, Carolus is Latin for King George; that's all.

_Cost._ Tis a fine thing to be a scollard.--Serjeant, will you part with this? I'll buy it on you, if it come within the compass of a crown.

_Kite._ A crown! never talk of buying; 'tis the same thing among friends, you know; I'll present them to ye both: you shall give me as good a thing. Put them up, and remember your old friend when I am over the hills and far away. [_They sing, and put up the Money._

_Enter_ PLUME, _singing_.

_Over the hills and over the main,_ _To Flanders, Portugal, or Spain_ _The king commands and we'll obey,_ _Over the hills and far away._

Come on my men of mirth, away with it; I'll make one among ye. Who are these hearty lads?

_Kite._ Off with your hats; 'ounds! off with your hats: this is the captain, the captain.

_Tho._ We have seen captains afore now, mun.

_Cost._ Ay, and lieutenant-captains too. 'Sflesh! I'll keep on my nab.

_Tho._ And I'se scarcely d'off mine for any captain in England. My vether's a freeholder.

_Plume._ Who are those jolly lads, serjeant?

_Kite._ A couple of honest brave fellows that are willing to serve the king: I have entertained them just now as volunteers, under your honour's command.

_Plume._ And good entertainment they shall have: volunteers are the men I want; those are the men fit to make soldiers, captains, generals.

_Cost._ Wounds, Tummas, what's this! are you listed?

_Tho._ Flesh! not I: are you, Costar?

_Cost._ Wounds! not I.

_Kite._ What! not listed? ha! ha! ha! a very good jest, i'faith.

_Cost._ Come, Tummus, we'll go home.

_Tho._ Ay, ay, come.

_Kite._ Home! for shame, gentlemen; behave yourselves better before your captain. Dear Tummas, honest Costar!

_Tho._ No, no! we'll be gone.

_Kite._ Nay, then, I command you to stay: I place you both centinels in this place for two hours, to watch the motion of St. Mary's clock you, and you the motion of St. Chad's; and he, that dares stir from his post till he be relieved, shall have my sword in his guts the next minute.

_Plume._ What's the matter, serjeant? I'm afraid you are too rough with these gentlemen.

_Kite._ I'm too mild, sir; they disobey command, sir; and one of them should be shot, for an example to the other.

_Cost._ Shot! Tummas?

_Plume._ Come, gentlemen, what's the matter?

_Tho._ We don't know; the noble serjeant is pleas'd to be in a passion, sir; but----

_Kite._ They disobey command; they deny their being listed.

_Tho._ Nay, serjeant, we don't downright deny it, neither; that we dare not do, for fear of being shot; but we humbly conceive, in a civil way, and begging your worship's pardon, that we may go home.

_Plume._ That's easily known. Have either of you received any of the king's money?

_Cost._ Not a brass farthing, sir.

_Kite._ They have each of them received one-and-twenty shillings, and 'tis now in their pockets.

_Cost._ Wounds! if I have a penny in my pocket but a bent sixpence, I'll be content to be listed and shot into the bargain.

_Tho._ And I: look ye here, sir.

_Cost._ Nothing but the king's picture, that the serjeant gave me just now.

_Kite._ See there, a guinea, one and twenty shillings; t'other has the fellow on't.

_Plume._ The case is plain, gentlemen: the goods are found upon you: those pieces of gold are worth one-and-twenty shillings each.

_Cost._ So it seems that Carolus is one-and-twenty shillings in Latin.

_Tho._ 'Tis the same thing in Greek, for we are listed.

_Cost._ Flesh; but we an't, Tummus: I desire to be carried before the mayor, captain.

[CAPTAIN _and_ SERJEANT _whisper the while._

_Plume._ 'Twill never do, Kite--your damned tricks will ruin me at last--I won't lose the fellows, though, if I can help it.--Well, gentlemen, there must be some trick in this; my serjeant offers to take his oath that you are fairly listed.

_Tho._ Why, captain, we know that you soldiers have more liberty of conscience than other folks; but for me or neighbour Costar here to take such an oath, 'twould be downright perjuration.

_Plume._ Lookye, rascal, you villain! If I find that you have imposed upon these two honest fellows, I'll trample you to death, you dog--Come, how was't?

_Tho._ Nay, then we'll speak. Your serjeant, as you say, is a rogue, an't like your worship, begging your worship's pardon--and--

_Cost._ Nay, Tummus, let me speak, you know I can read.----And so, sir, he gave us those two pieces of money for pictures of the king, by way of a present.

_Plume._ How? by way of a present! the son of a whore! I'll teach him to abuse honest fellows like you!--scoundrel! rogue! villain!

[_Beats off the Serjeant, and follows._

_Both._ O brave noble captain! huzza! A brave captain, 'faith!

_Cost._ Now, Tummas, Carolus is Latin for a beating. This is the bravest captain I ever saw--Wounds! I've a month's mind to go with him.

_Enter_ PLUME.

_Plume._ A dog, to abuse two such honest fellows as you.--Lookye, gentlemen, I love a pretty fellow; I come among you as an officer to list soldiers, not as a kidnapper to steal slaves.

_Cost._ Mind that, Tummas.

_Plume._ I desire no man to go with me but as I went myself; I went a volunteer, as you or you may do; for a little time carried a musket, and now I command a company.

_Tho._ Mind that, Costar. A sweet gentleman!

_Plume._ Tis true, gentlemen, I might take an advantage of you; the king's money was in your pockets--my serjeant was ready to take his oath you were listed; but I scorn to do a base thing; you are both of you at your liberty.

_Cost._ Thank you, noble captain----Icod! I can't find in my heart to leave him, he talks so finely.

_Tho._ Ay, Costar, would he always hold in this mind.

_Plume._ Come, my lads, one thing more I'll tell you: you're both young tight fellows, and the army is the place to make you men for ever: every man has his lot, and you have yours: what think you of a purse of French gold out of a monsieur's pocket, after you have dashed out his brains with the but end of your firelock, eh?

_Cost._ Wauns! I'll have it. Captain--give me a shilling; I'll follow you to the end of the world.

_Tho._ Nay, dear Costar! do'na: be advis'd.

_Plume._ Here, my hero, here are two guineas for thee, as earnest of what I'll do farther for thee.

_Tho._ Do'na take it; do'na, dear Costar.

[_Cries, and pulls back his Arm._

_Cost._ I wull--I wull--Waunds! my mind gives me that I shall be a captain myself--I take your money, sir, and now I am a gentleman.

_Plume._ Give me thy hand; and now you and I will travel the world o'er, and command it wherever we tread.--Bring your friend with you, if you can. [_Aside._

_Cost._ Well, Tummas, must we part?

_Tho._ No, Costar, I cannot leave thee.--Come, captain, I'll e'en go along too; and if you have two honester simpler lads in your company than we two have been, I'll say no more.

_Plume._ Here, my lad. [_Gives him Money._] Now, your name?

_Tho._ Tummas Appletree.

_Plume._ And yours?

_Cost._ Costar Pearmain.

_Plume._ Well said, Costar! Born where?

_Tho._ Both in Herefordshire.

_Plume._ Very well. Courage, my lads. Now we'll

Sings. _Over the hills, and far away._ _Courage, boys, it's one to ten_ _But we return all gentlemen;_ _While conq'ring colours we display,_ _Over the hills, and far away._

Kite, take care of them.

_Enter_ KITE.

_Kite._ An't you a couple of pretty fellows, now! Here, you have complained to the captain; I am to be turned out, and one of you will be serjeant. Which of you is to have my halberd?

_Both Rec._ I.

_Kite._ So you shall--in your guts.--March, you sons of whores! [_Beats them off._

ACT THE THIRD.