SCENE I.

JUSTICE BALANCE'S _House_.

_Enter_ BALANCE _and_ SCALE.

_Scale._ I say, 'tis not to be borne, Mr. Balance.

_Bal._ Lookye, Mr. Scale, for my own part I shall be very tender in what regards the officers of the army--I only speak in reference to Captain Plume--for the other spark I know nothing of.

_Scale._ Nor can I hear of any body that does--Oh! here they come.

_Enter_ SYLVIA, BULLOCK, ROSE, PRISONERS, _and_ CONSTABLE.

_Const._ May it please your worships, we took them in the very act, _re infecta_, sir--The gentleman, indeed, behaved himself like a gentleman, for he drew his sword and swore, and afterwards laid it down and said nothing.

_Bal._ Give the gentleman his sword again--Wait you without. [_Exeunt_ CONSTABLE _and_ WATCH.] I'm sorry, sir, [_To_ SYLVIA.] to know a gentleman upon such terms, that the occasion of our meeting should prevent the satisfaction of an acquaintance.

_Syl._ Sir, you need make no apology for your warrant, no more than I shall do for my behaviour--my innocence is upon an equal foot with your authority.

_Scale._ Innocence! have you not seduced that young maid?

_Syl._ No, Mr. Goosecap, she seduced me.

_Bul._ So she did, I'll swear--for she proposed marriage first.

_Bal._ What, then you are married, child? [_To_ ROSE.

_Rose._ Yes, sir, to my sorrow.

_Bal._ Who was witness?

_Bul._ That was I--I danc'd, threw the stocking, and spoke jokes by their bedside, I'm sure.

_Bal._ Who was the minister?

_Bul._ Minister! we are soldiers, and want no minister--they were married by the articles of war.

_Bal._ Hold thy prating, fool----Your appearance, sir, promises some understanding; pray, what does this fellow mean?

_Syl._ He means marriage, I think--but that, you know, is so odd a thing, that hardly any two people under the sun agree in the ceremony; but among soldiers 'tis most sacred--our sword, you know, is our honour, that we lay down--the Hero jumps over it first, and the Amazon after--Leap, rogue; follow, whore--the drum beats a ruff, and so to bed: that's all: the ceremony is concise.

_Bul._ And the prettiest ceremony, so full of pastime and prodigality----

_Bal._ What! are you a soldier?

_Bul._ Ay, that I am--Will your worship lend me your cane, and I'll show you how I can exercise?

_Bal._ Take it. [_Strikes him over the Head._]--Your name, pray, sir? [_To_ SYLVIA.

_Syl._ Captain Pinch: I cock my hat with a pinch, I take snuff with a pinch, pay my whores with a pinch; in short, I can do any thing at a pinch but fight.

_Bal._ And pray, sir, what brought you into Shropshire?

_Syl._ A pinch, sir: I know you country gentlemen want wit, and you know that we town gentlemen want money, and so----

_Bal._ I understand you, sir--Here, constable----

_Enter_ CONSTABLE.

Take this gentleman into custody, till further orders.

_Rose._ Pray, your worship, don't be uncivil to him, for he did me no hurt; he's the most harmless man in the world, for all he talks so.

_Scale._ Come, come, child, I'll take care of you.

_Syl._ What, gentlemen, rob me of my freedom and my wife at once! 'tis the first time they ever went together.

_Bal._ Harkye, constable. [_Whispers him._

_Const._ It shall be done, sir--come along, sir.

[_Exeunt_ CONSTABLE, BULLOCK, _and_ SYLVIA.

_Bal._ Come, Mr. Scale, we'll manage the spark presently. [_Exeunt._