Chapter 18

Recognizing Them and Fitting In ======================================================

While a cyberpunk is commonly a middleclass white male with way too many electrons, there are varieties of cyberpunk. Underlying all the types and genres is Basic Cyber Style, which breaks down to physical gear and mental attitude:

--->Basic Cyberpunk Gear is simple. Black leather jacket. Boots. Mirrorshades. Laser pointer. (We don't know why all cyberpunks need a laser pointer, but it's mandatory.) We'll give you a more elaborate guide to basic cyberpunk gear. Later.

--->The Basic Cyberpunk Attitude is quiet assurance. Subdued swashbuckling. Maybe a little menace.

With these cyberpunk basics you can navigate through all the sub-genres. But if you want to pass as a native in a particular cyber sub-scene without getting jeered at or beaten up, you gotta accessorize, and pay close attention to detail.

>>>>Motorpsycho Maniacs Cyberbikers pack the mystique of both worlds-- high tech, and big greasy loud engines. Standard cyberpunk costume is ideal for riding motorcycles, and a mirrorshades helmet is a big plus for the cyber look-- mega robotic coolness. Motorcycles are dangerous and can kill you. This is also cool.

>>>>Goths, Deathcore, and Vampire-Wannabes Ideally, for this sub-scene, you should know about The Cure, which is a band. To fit in, grow your hair big and dye it blueblack. Spray it with < > to make it stick out, medusa-like. Go to a kidshop and buy plastic fangs. (The kind that glow in the dark are funny. Funny is NOT the object here.) All sexes should wear a Victorian shirt-- blouse-- white or black only--- that gapes to show flesh. You must practice looking tormented, tall and thin. The ideal is chalk-white face makeup with blueblack eyesockets. Blueblack makeup with white eyesockets is untested, but might work very well, if you avoid a minstrel look. At all times think intensity and torment. Torment...and ironic bitterness. No giggling or snickering, no kidding.

>>>>Riot Grrrls! These are fierce girls who like tech. This is a sexist category, but there we are: girls only. A grrrl can be called "d00d" and "guy" at all times, but a non-female guy is not a grrrl. This is just the way things are. If you're a grrrl, you can wear anything you want to, because you're there to defend it. This is true for anybody, really-- look as tough as you wanta be, and be ready to back it up. Fierce is good. Grrrls with tech expertise are irresistible. NOTHING is more attractive than a fierce, blazing, ninja-type grrrl right now, and if she knows UNIX or phone-freeking, the world is hers. Hrrrs.

>>>>Technopagans/Ravers/Neohippies Don't worry about this one. This scene is free, loving, noncomforming, spontaneous. You can dress any old way and fit right in... Unless you don't look cool.

Maybe you should stick to basic cyberpunk. Dancing in leather is hot as h*ck, but sweating is better than not looking cool. Non-cyber ravers favor floppy hats, five kinds of plaid 'n' paisley, and multiple organ piercings. They sometimes take raver drugs. These drugs make you fonder of other people than you really want to be. (The morning- after Revulsion hangovers can be nasty.) In this scene, pretending to be on raver drugs is recommended, and easy, too. Unfocus your eyes and smile lovingly. In black leather you won't have to worry so much about getting hugged.

>>>>Academic Cyber-Wannabes Students, teachers, whatever, dress down. Like you're always en route to a garage sale...maybe to donate what you're wearing. Casual. Jeans, black leather jacket, laser pointer. No tweed, notice, and no Birkenshtocken. If you flash paperbacks by Arthur Kroker, Paul Virilio and Jean Baudrillard, it means you're serious. Paperbacks by Mark Leyner and Kathy Acker means you're *way past* serious.

>>>>Cybercowboys/grrrls Some of these people come from Texas or Oklahoma. In this crew, to yr cyberbasics you add a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and grow any hair you've got really LONG. Males should try to get hair somewhere on their faces.

>>>>Science Fiction Writers Full-steam straight-ahead hard edge, with a permanent sneer. Just to twist heads, some males writers go for the Tom Wolfe effete look-- blue blazer and wing-tips. Still they sneer.

>>>>Web Crawlers and Other Bourgeois Types You don't really care about this one, do you? You do? Subscribe to WIRED. Next.

>>>>Deep Geek: Supernerds, Hackers, Wizards, Phone Phreakers Things get difficult here. Deep geekware is unstandard. Very heavy Wizards can look like accountants, or like streetpeople. Facial hair and Goodwill Casual happen a lot. Chubby happens too, since these guys don't do enough dancing in leather pants. To get along in this scene, you really need to be very smart, very funny, or very sexy. To work yourself up to smart at least, learn UNIX. Or carry the 2600 zine in your back pocket and read that. Practice being technical. But until you get good, wear your cyberbasics and never leave home without your laser pointer. This will draw the admiration of people who don't know any better, which has its own rewards. Leading us inevitably to the final category...

>>>>Phonies, Poseurs and Pretenders: Taking the Easy Way In Don't think: scheme! Forget about reading books, buy no computers or widgets. Don't do or buy anything. Save all your money for clothes and art materials. Make your girl/boyfriend help you assemble your hi-tek models-- you're gonna need mockups of a laptop computer, a personal communicator, a beeper, maybe even a fake stun-gun. Realism is key. Then wear them all with *attitude*. You're better than real. Strut. Sneer. Remember the 3 disses: distrust, disrespect, distroy. Wait, that's not right, is it?

We know there are going to be mutterings about this category. Grumblings that being a poseur is not as easy as we think. A poseur has a lot of overhead-- in worry, just for starts-- what if you're exposed as < >? And staying locked to the HOTWIRED Website to catch what you should be imitating? Dang.

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[Photo of Billy Idol Goes Here]

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++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ + SECTION II: + + CYBERPUNK... + + + + KNOWING ABOUT IT! + ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

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