Part 10
Viz. Pinch a piece out of a man's arm, to say you did not know there was any _harm_. Break his shin--that's _leg_-al. Pull away his chair[33] when he is sitting down--you've _good ground_ for it. Run your head against his--_two heads_ are better than one. Overturn the milk-jug on him--then he's in the _milky way_. So with the urn--then he's in _hot water_. When he hops about, say he seems in a _lame_-ntable way. Let the boys knock the candle into some lady's lap--this you may call a _wick_-ed thing, &c. &c. Intersperse these, with other such amiable pleasantries as these, and all the fools (a commanding _majority_ in every _assembly_ in the country), will shout for joy, extol your wit, and applaud your ingenuity.
[33] _Memorandum._ This joke is recommended, by the _surgeons_, for all seasons; but, in my _system_, better arranged, it will be proper to distinguish. In the _winter_, when the carpet's down, you are glad to bring that affair on the _tapis_. In the _spring_, the _earth_ begins to _bear_ every thing. In the _summer_, it's "summum jus," because it's "_summa_ injuria," and the carpet being up, you give him _board_ with _a deal_ of pleasure, that's _plain_: and in the _autumn_, you allude to the _fall_. Besides, what does he do in a chair--all flesh is _grass_--_hay_!
LONDON: PRINTED BY THOMAS DAVISON, WHITEFRIARS.
CONTENTS.
Page Dedication to the King, i
A Word to the Witty and the Wise, iii
Description of Frontispiece, vii
Prolegomena on Punning, 1
Origin of Punning, 19
Art of Punning, by Swift and Sheridan, 23
Satire on Sheridan, by Dr. Tisdal, 68
Dying Speech of Tom Ashe, 72
A Pestilent Neighbour, 77
Punning Epistle on Money, 78
God's Revenge against Punning, by Dr. Arbuthnot, 79
The Birth of a Pun, 84
Antiquity of Puns, 85
Punning on Surnames, 86
Punning run mad, 90
Bashful on Punning, 93
Examples in Punning, 97
W.R. V--ana, 125
Norburyana, 129
Punning Epigrams, 143
The Punster's Court, 165
Puns for all Purposes, 166
A Punning Essay, 183
Every Man his own Punster, 190
ILLUSTRATIONS.
Page
1. Vignette to Title--The Punster's Court
2. The Dance of Wit, v
3. Squibs and Crackers, a 5th of November scene, 1
4. The Androgynos, or Jove's Pun, 19
5. The Art of Punning, 23
6. The Lord's Humbassador, 63
7. The Dancing Punster, 70
8. The Birth of a Pun, 84
9. The Bashful Punster, 93
10. The Magic of Punning, 96
11. The Punster's Bowl, 97
12. Lord Norbury and Court, 129
13. The Sporting Punsters, 143
14. Death of Poor Carlo, 164
15. Gunpowder Wit, 166
16. Tartani's Dream, 182
With Numerous Elegant Vignettes interspersed through the Work.
TRANSCRIBER'S NOTES
Except for obvious typos and printer errors, which have been corrected without comment, the author's spelling, grammar, and use of punctuation are retained as in the original publication, with the following exceptions:
Page 44. Change cremona to Cremona. ... threw down a Cremona-fiddle with a ...
Page 47. Change tory to Tory. ... pretends to be a Tory, or ...
Page 52. Correct typo. Change recal to recall. ... you may recall a discourse ...
Page 128. Opening quote added in the paragraph ending "_even a major-ity_."
Page 180. Correct typo. Change, to. ... it is An-acre-on-tick.