Category: Humour

The Puddleford Papers; Or, Humors of the West

Lawsuit: Filkins against Beadle.--Squire Longbow and his Court.--Puddleford assembled.--Why Squire Longbow was a Great Man.--Ike Turtle and Sile Bates, Pettifoggers.--Mrs. Sonora Brown.--Uproar and Legal Opinions.--Seth Bolles.--Miss Eunice Grimes.--Argument to Jury, and Verdi...

Chapters

52. CHAPTER XXIII.

Amusements in Puddleford.--The Highland Fling.--A Fire-eater comes next.--Runs a Sword down his Throat.--Starts his Ribbon Factory.--Borrows Squire Longbow's Hat.--Boils Eggs in...

51. CHAPTER XXII.

Appeal of Case Filkins _vs._ Beadle.--Turtle's Affidavit and "P'ints."--Longbow's Return.--County Court.--Turtle opens his Law "P'ints."--Bates replies.--A Fight.--Collateral Is...

38. CHAPTER IX.

Winter upon us.--The Roosters in the early Morning.--The Blue-Jays and the Squirrels.--The Improvident Turkey.--The Domestic Hearth, and who occupied it.--The Old Dog.--The Bles...

30. CHAPTER II.

Lawsuit: Filkins against Beadle.--Squire Longbow and his Court.--Puddleford assembled.--Why Squire Longbow was a Great Man.--Ike Turtle and Sile Bates, Pettifoggers.--Mrs. Sonor...

29. CHAPTER I.

The township of Puddleford was located in the far west, and was, and is, unknown, I presume, to a large portion of my readers. It has never been considered of sufficient importa...

48. CHAPTER XIX.

The Old New England Home.--The Sheltered Village.--The Ancient Buildings.--Dormer Windows.--An Old Puritanical Home.--The Old Puritan Church.--The Burying-Ground.--Deacon Smith,...

49. CHAPTER XX.

First Militia Law in Puddleford.--Aunt Sonora opposed to it.--Turtle sets her right.--Meeting to choose Officers.--Longbow electioneers for Captain; Takes the Chair.--Turtle obj...

45. CHAPTER XVI.

Pioneers--men who grow up in the woods--are famous for luxuriant imaginations. Everything, with them, is on a sweeping scale with the natural objects amid which they dwell. The...

34. CHAPTER V.

Indian Summer.--Venison Styles again.--Jim Buzzard.--Fishing Excursion.--Muskrat City.--Indian Burying-ground.--The Pickerel and the Rest of the Fishes.--The Prairie.--Wild Gees...

57. CHAPTER XXVIII.

The Philosophy of Puddleford.--Diverse Elements in Pioneer Life.--Longbow and his Administration.--Not Expensive.--Two Hundred a Year, all told.--What would Chief Justice Marsha...

41. CHAPTER XII.

The Group at "The Eagle."--Entree of a Stranger.--His Opinion of the Tavern.--Bulliphant wakes up.--Can't pick Fowls after Dark.--Sad Case of Mother Gantlet and Dr. Teazle.--Mr....

37. CHAPTER VIII.

Puddleford and Politics.--Higgins against Wiggins.--The Candidates' Personale.--Their Platforms.--Delicate Questions.--Stump Speaking.--Wiggins on Higgins.--Impertinent Interrup...

31. CHAPTER III.

Wanderings in the Wilderness.--A Bee-Hunt.--Sunrise.--The Fox-Squirrel.--The Blue-Jay.--The Gopher.--The Partridges.--Wild Geese, Ducks, and Cranes.--Blackbirds and Meadow-Larks...

50. CHAPTER XXI.

Mrs. Bird gets in a Rage.--Starve a Child.--Mrs. Bird blows off at Mrs. Beagle.--Takes Breath.--Blows off again.--Mrs. Beagle gives a Piece of her Mind.--Aunt Sonora drops in.--...

33. did. She was a kind of dial that "Aunt Graves" shone upon, and any one

But I must not pass over the preacher himself. I only speak of one, although many filled the pulpit of the Puddleford church during my acquaintance with it. Bigelow Van Slyck wa...

55. CHAPTER XXVI.

Spring at the West.--"Sugar Days."--Performances of the Cattle.--April.--Advent of the Blue-Jays and the Crows.--The Bluebirds, Phebes, and Robins.--April and its Inspiring Days...

54. CHAPTER XXV.

And still New England.--Sui Generis.--Her Ruggedness the Soil of Liberty.--The Contrast.--The New England Conservative.--The New England Man of Business.--The West has no Past.-...

40. CHAPTER XI.

Squire Longbow in Mourning.--The Great Question.--Aunt Sonora's Opinion.--Other People's.--The Squire goes to Church.--His Appearance on that Occasion.--Aunt Graves, and her Ext...

36. CHAPTER VII.

Social War.--Longbow, Turtle & Co.--Bird, Swipes, Beagle & Co.--Mrs. Bird.--Mrs. Beagle.--Mrs. Swipes--Turkey and Aristocracy.--Scandal.--Husking-bees, and "such like."--The Cal...

47. CHAPTER XVIII.

The Wilderness around Puddleford.--The Rivers and the Forests--Suggestions of Old Times.--Footprints of the Jesuits.--Vine-covered Mounds.--Visit to the Forest.--The Early Frost...

53. CHAPTER XXIV.

The Tinkhams arrive.--Great Stir.--Miss Lavinia Longbow's Head is turned.--Everybody in Love with the Tinkhams.--Wind changes.--The Tinkhams fall.--The whole Pack out on them.--...

35. CHAPTER VI.

There has been much written in the world about the benefits of education. I am very sure that its importance was not overlooked in Puddleford. I cannot say that the village has...

44. CHAPTER XV.

Venison Styles, rough and rugged as he was, had acquired much knowledge in a wild way, and could, in that way, stagger a philosopher. No man had a nicer insight into nature. Bir...

42. CHAPTER XIII.

The "Fev-Nag."--Conflicting Theories.--"Oxergin and Hydergin."--Teazle's Rationale.--The Scourge of the West.--Sile Bates, and his Condition.--Squire Longbow and Jim Buzzard.--P...

39. CHAPTER X.

Mrs. Longbow taken sick.--General Interest.--Dr. Teazle.--His Visit.--"The Rattles."--Scientific Diagnosis.--A Prescription.--Short and Dr. Dobbs.--"Pantod of the Heart."--Dismi...

46. CHAPTER XVII.

We very often get an idea of a community by fathoming its leading men. We stick our stakes at that point, and reason, by comparison, downward; not that prominent individuals mak...

43. CHAPTER XIV.

Uncommonly Common Schools.--Annual School District Meeting.--Accounts for Contingent Expenses.--Turtle and Old Gulick's Boy.--"That are Glass."--The Colonel starts the Wheels ag...

32. CHAPTER IV.

The Log-Chapel.--Father Beals.--Aunt Graves.--Sister Abigail.--Bigelow Van Slyck, the Preacher.--His Entree.--How he worked.--One of his Sermons.--Performance of the Choir.--"Co...

56. CHAPTER XXVII.

A Railroad through Puddleford.--Effect on Squire Longbow.--Bright Prospects of Puddleford.--Change.--"The Styleses."--The New Justice.--Aunt Sonora's Opinions.--Ike Turtle grows...

23. CHAPTER XXIII.

Amusements in Puddleford.--The Highland Fling.--A Fire-eater comes next.--Runs a Sword down his Throat.--Starts his Ribbon Factory.--Borrows Squire Longbow's Hat.--Boils Eggs in...

28. CHAPTER XXVIII.

CONCLUSION.--The Philosophy of Puddleford.--Diverse Elements in Pioneer Life.--Longbow and his Administration.--Not Expensive.--Two Hundred a Year, all told.--What would Chief J...

12. CHAPTER XII.

The Group at "The Eagle."--Entree of a Stranger.--His Opinion of the Tavern.--Bulliphant wakes up.--Can't pick Fowls after Dark.--Sad Case of Mother Gantlet and Dr. Teazle.--Mr....

11. CHAPTER XI.

Squire Longbow in Mourning.--The Great Question.--Aunt Sonora's Opinion.--Other People's.--The Squire goes to Church.--His Appearance on that Occasion.--Aunt Graves, and her Ext...

19. CHAPTER XIX.

The Old New England Home.--The Sheltered Village.--The Ancient Buildings.--Dormer Windows.--An Old Puritanical Home.--The Old Puritan Church.--The Burying-Ground.--Deacon Smith,...

21. CHAPTER XXI.

Mrs. Bird gets in a Rage.--Starve a Child.--Mrs. Bird blows off at Mrs. Beagle.--Takes Breath.--Blows off again.--Mrs. Beagle gives a Piece of her Mind.--Aunt Sonora drops in.--...

22. CHAPTER XXII.

Appeal of Case Filkins _vs._ Beadle.--Turtle's Affidavit and "P'ints."--Longbow's Return.--County Court.--Turtle opens his Law "P'ints."--Bates replies.--A Fight.--Collateral Is...

18. CHAPTER XVIII.

The Wilderness around Puddleford.--The Rivers and the Forests.--Suggestions of Old Times.--Footprints of the Jesuits.--Vine-covered Mounds.--Visit to the Forest.--The Early Fros...

20. CHAPTER XX.

First Militia Law in Puddleford.--Aunt Sonora opposed to it.--Turtle sets her right.--Meeting to choose Officers.--Longbow electioneers for Captain: takes the Chair.--Turtle obj...

9. CHAPTER IX.

Winter upon us.--The Roosters in the early Morning.--The Blue-Jays and the Squirrels.--The Improvident Turkey.--The Domestic Hearth, and who occupied it.--The Old Dog.--The Bles...

10. CHAPTER X.

Mrs. Longbow taken sick.--General Interest.--Dr. Teazle.--His Visit.--"The Rattles."--Scientific Diagnosis.--A Prescription.--Short and Dr. Dobbs.--"Pantod of the Heart."--Dismi...

26. CHAPTER XXVI.

Spring at the West.--"Sugar Days."--Performances of the Cattle.--April.--Advent of the Blue-Jays and the Crows.--The Bluebirds, Phebes, and Robins.--April and its Inspiring Days...

4. CHAPTER IV.

The Log-Chapel.--Father Beals.--Aunt Graves.--Sister Abigail.--Bigelow Van Slyck, the Preacher.--His Entree.--How he worked.--One of his Sermons.--Performance of the Choir.--"Co...

5. CHAPTER V.

Indian Summer.--Venison Styles again.--Jim Buzzard.--Fishing Excursion.--Muskrat City.--Indian Burying-Ground.--The Pickerel and the Rest of the Fishes.--The Prairie.--Wild Gees...

14. CHAPTER XIV.

Uncommonly Common Schools.--Annual School District Meeting.--Accounts for Contingent Expenses.--Turtle and Old Gulick's Boy.--"That are Glass."--The Colonel starts the Wheels ag...

8. CHAPTER VIII.

Puddleford and Politics.--Higgins against Wiggins.--The Candidates' Personale.--Their Platforms.--Delicate Questions.--Stump Speaking.--Wiggins on Higgins.--Impertinent Interrup...

3. CHAPTER III.

Wanderings in the Wilderness.--A Bee-Hunt.--Sunrise.--The Fox-Squirrel.--The Blue-Jay.--The Gopher.--The Partridges.--Wild Geese, Ducks, and Cranes.--Blackbirds and Meadow-Larks...

7. CHAPTER VII.

Social War.--Longbow, Turtle & Co.--Bird, Swipes, Beagle & Co.--Mrs. Bird.--Mrs. Beagle.--Mrs. Swipes.--Turkey and Aristocracy.--Scandal.--Husking-Bees, and "such like."--The Ca...

2. CHAPTER II.

Lawsuit: Filkins against Beadle.--Squire Longbow and his Court.--Puddleford assembled.--Why Squire Longbow was a Great Man.--Ike Turtle and Sile Bates, Pettifoggers.--Mrs. Sonor...

13. CHAPTER XIII.

The "Fev-Nag."--Conflicting Theories.--"Oxergin and Hydergin."--Teazle's Rationale.--The Scourge of the West.--Sile Bates, and his Condition.--Squire Longbow and Jim Buzzard.--P...

25. CHAPTER XXV.

And still New England.--Sui Generis.--Her Ruggedness the Soil of Liberty.--The Contrast.--The New England Conservative.--The New England Man of Business.--The West has no Past.-...

27. CHAPTER XXVII.

A Railroad through Puddleford.--The Effect on Squire Longbow.--Bright Prospects of Puddleford.--Change.--"The Styleses."--The New Justice.--Aunt Sonora's Opinions.--Ike Turtle g...

24. CHAPTER XXIV.

The Tinkhams arrive.--Great Stir.--Miss Lavinia Longbow's Head is turned.--Everybody in Love with the Tinkhams.--Wind changes.--The Tinkhams fall.--The whole Pack out on them.--...

6. CHAPTER VI.

17. CHAPTER XVII.

16. CHAPTER XVI.

15. CHAPTER XV.

1. CHAPTER I. PAGE