CHAPTER VI

ABNORMALITIES AND VARIETIES OF DEVELOPMENT--LOVE AND HATE

[Sidenote: The study of the abnormal in Psychology]

Up to this point, in studying the process of individual development in relation to the family environment, we have as far as possible confined our attention to the more normal aspects of this process, neglecting for the most part the many variations and aberrations to which it is liable. It is now time to explore more carefully some of the more important of these byways into which the human mind may wander in the course of its development--byways which we have hitherto passed unnoticed, or at most examined with a hasty glance, as we traced the direct path of emotional development from childhood to maturity. Some of these byways lie near to the direct path which we have already followed; others depart more widely from it, approaching near to, or sometimes definitely entering, the region of the abnormal or pathological.

As regards these latter, however, it must be borne in mind that here (as in most other cases of the treatment of the abnormal in Psychology) the distinction between normal and abnormal is one which is drawn for the sake of practical convenience only, and which indicates merely a difference of degree not a difference in quality, between the phenomena which it distinguishes. Even those manifestations which mark the most extreme departures from the normal are present as possibilities in all of us: it is only a question of the extent of our tendency towards them and of the intensity of the predisposing causes in our environment. A slight alteration in the balance of our mental forces or in the circumstances of our life and upbringing, and we too might fall victims to the aberrations which now seem to us so repulsive, foolish or ridiculous, when displayed by others. The abnormal in Psychology is most frequently only an aspect of the normal magnified beyond its usual dimensions and thus brought out of proportion to the other aspects of the mind. For this reason the study of the abnormal is often the best means of investigating the minute structure of the normal: and in the present case we shall find that when we have reviewed the principal abnormalities and variations in the psychic development of the individual in relation to his family, we shall be in a much more favourable position for arriving at a decision as to our own attitude--theoretical and practical--towards this development than if we had simply considered the process of growth in its strictly normal aspects.

[Sidenote: Abnormalities of development at different levels]

Byways in human development, both emotional and intellectual, may diverge from the main track at various points in its course--some near its origin in the infantile strata of the mind, some at a later stage of progress. Those which leave the main track at a relatively early point preserve, as a rule, throughout their course some more or less definite indication of their early origin, some trace of infantile or childish character; while those which take their departure at a subsequent stage bear the marks of a later, but still immature, condition of development. As each variation or aberration thus, to some extent, corresponds in nature to the point of development at which it took its rise, it is possible to classify such variations and aberrations according to their point of origin; and to regard each one as a fixation or arrest of development at a certain point in the main track of progress. What is true of human development in general is true more particularly of the development of the individual's relation to his family. The more primitive variations will be found to bear the characteristics of the early stages of the individual's mental growth while the later variations will indicate a more advanced condition of this growth.

In the previous chapters we have seen that in the earliest stages of development the most important psychic reactions of the child (so far as they concern us here) are those connected with the parents. At a later stage, the tendencies and emotions originally centering in the parents undergo (under the influence of Repression) a process of Displacement on to other persons and objects. This important fact in the process of development may serve us as a preliminary basis of classification in dealing with the numerous variations which we shall encounter. We shall first undertake a review of the more primitive types of variation in which the abnormal elements are directly connected with the child's relations to its parents, passing on subsequently to the more complex types in which a well marked displacement of the child's original feelings has taken place, as the result of which the abnormality is no longer directly connected with the parents themselves but with a substitute for these.

[Sidenote: Abnormalities and variations in the parent--regarding tendencies]

As regards the first class, the general nature of the psychic defects which may be met with is, in the main, familiar to us from our consideration of the early stages of normal development. If any of the features of the individual's relations to his parents which we there passed in review--the love and hate aspects of the Œdipus complex, the dependence on the efforts of the parents as regards self maintenance and preservation, the general obedience to, and reliance on, the authority of the parents--should persist at a relatively advanced age in anything like their original quality and intensity, then there exists one of the defects in question. Not that any of these features will be found to manifest themselves (except perhaps on rare occasions) in exactly their original form and manner. The general mental and moral growth of the intervening years usually ensures that many of these features shall have undergone a process of repression in virtue of which they are no longer permitted to express themselves fully and openly in consciousness. More especially is this the case with regard to the love and hate elements in the psychic relationship of the individual to his parents. These will seldom manifest themselves quite openly and directly though they may attain to indirect expression in dreams, neurotic symptoms, fancies and (as Rank has so abundantly shown) in works of art. The psycho-analytic treatment of these productions has shown, however, that the original tendencies may persist in their crude form in the unconscious; and thence may exercise a profound influence on character and mental life.

[Sidenote: Fixation at the stage of parent love]

In so far as, under the force of the repression, these tendencies do not suffer some clearly marked modification or displacement as regards their object (and thus fall within our second class of abnormalities), the conflict to which their continued existence gives rise is apt to manifest itself most prominently in one or more of the negative forms characteristic of repression, rather than in any positive form indicative of the original nature of the repressed desire[32]. Thus a fixation (as it is now usually called) of the love impulses on the parent of the opposite sex may betray itself, on the positive side, in a relatively sublimated and asexual manner only--as in a more than usual degree of friendly affection, esteem or veneration for, or in an abnormal degree of dependence on, the parent in question; combined perhaps with an unusually strong desire for the presence of the loved parent, and a feeling of contentment with life in the parent's home that leads to a relative want of interest in persons and things outside it, and a liability to home-sickness if compelled to be away from home or parent[33]. The sexual nature of the (unconscious) source of this attitude reveals itself however unmistakably in the negative aspects of the conflict to which it gives rise. Thus a parent fixation of this kind may make itself felt negatively in an inability to direct love freely and fully upon any other person of the same sex as the loved parent. The normal process of falling in love in adolescence or early maturity may fail to take place; the persons concerned are content to live quietly at home with their parents; if sexual relations are attempted, psychic impotence or frigidity--relative or absolute--may result[34]; marriage will frequently be avoided, or will be entered into from motives other than those of real affection[35]--sometimes from the very need to escape from an unconscious incestuous desire.

[Sidenote: Conflict and Compromise]

These negative manifestations, like so many others of a similar kind, are the result of two distinct and conflicting tendencies in the mind, and (as is usual in such cases) are of such a nature as to give at any rate some degree of satisfaction to both these tendencies at the same time. In the first place they give expression to the psychic forces engaged in the repression of the primitive incestuous trends; with the exaggeration and want of discrimination characteristic of repression, the taboo originally applicable to one particular object (the parent) is extended to all objects towards which similar feelings could be experienced; thus producing an inhibition of a general kind upon a whole class of feelings as such, where an inhibition of a specific kind upon a particular manifestation of such feelings (_i. e._ their manifestation in an incestuous direction) was all that was originally intended or required. In the second place, these predominantly negative aspects of fixation contain also some elements of positive gratification of the repressed tendencies. In the failure to extend any considerable degree of affection upon a new object (parent substitute), the mind expresses its abiding fidelity to its first love-object (the actual parent) and its refusal to abandon the satisfaction which it continues to find in this object, in spite of the difficulties and prohibitions connected with this infantile direction of the love impulses and the prospect of greater freedom in other directions. This double nature of the negative aspects of fixation on the love-object of early childhood affords a striking instance of the compromise formations which so frequently arise in the course of mental development as the result of struggle between conflicting tendencies.

[Sidenote: Homosexuality as a result of incestuous fixation]

In a number of cases the repression of an incestuous affection for a parent may manifest itself not merely in relative indifference to the attractions of others of the same sex as that of the loved parent but, more violently, in active dislike of persons of that sex. This condition is usually associated with a direction of affection upon persons of the individual's own sex in such quality and such degree as is normally found only where persons of the opposite sex are concerned. Indeed it has been found that this process constitutes an important factor in the history of a large number of cases of homosexuality. In these cases the repression of the original love of the parent of the opposite sex has led, first, to an extension of the love taboo to all persons of that sex, and then, as a further step,--the way to all heterosexual affection being now barred--to the displacement of sexual desire into the homosexual direction. Some indication of the secondary and derivative character of these cases of homosexuality is, however, often to be found in the nature of the object selected, this object usually presenting some resemblance to the opposite sex for which it serves as substitute, _e. g._ some delicacy, tenderness or effeminacy in the case of men or boys and some quality of unusual strength or "mannishness" in the case of women[36].

On _a priori_ grounds we might expect to find that in other cases of homosexuality the direction of affection is determined in a more direct manner, _viz._ by the fixation of an original infantile attachment to the parent of the _same_ sex as that of the child. This might seem especially liable to occur in the case of women, who for one reason or another have never completed the step from a predominance of mother love (usually, as we have seen, the first form of object love with children of both sexes) to a predominance of father love[37].

With men, too, it is possible that an overstrong affection and admiration for the father may lead to a corresponding result. In these cases we should expect the homosexuality to be of a deeper and more fundamental character than that referred to above, the members of the lover's own sex exercising attraction, as it were, on their own merits, and not merely as substitutes for the forbidden members of the opposite sex; the objects selected being correspondingly typical of their own sex, _i. e._ womanly women and manly men[38]. The existence of such a type of homosexuality has indeed been demonstrated by Ferenczi[39] (though here, as in most cases of "types" in psychology, it is probable that the types themselves are only extreme forms between which there exist an indefinite number of intermediate characters, the majority of individuals partaking to some extent of the nature of both types). So far as the evidence goes, however, it would seem that the fixation of love on the parent of the same sex plays a lesser part in the development of this kind of homosexuality than might have been expected; the homosexuality in question being more frequently and to a greater extent due to a displacement of a primitive love of self (Narcissism, in psycho-analytic terminology) projected on to others, so that in loving those of his own sex the individual is directing his affection to those who, by his unconscious mind, are selected as the most suitable representatives of his own beloved Ego.

[Sidenote: Idealisation of the loved parent]

It is an important characteristic of the phenomenon of fixation on the parent, that this parent who is loved in the unconscious is not so much the parent as he or she actually exists when the child has attained to adolescence or maturity, but rather the parent as he or she appeared to the child when young, _i. e._ in the case of the father, a being of immeasurable strength, wisdom, knowledge, authority and (perhaps) love; in the case of the mother, one of unsurpassable beauty, tenderness and mercy and an ever available source of comfort, help and protection in face of the difficulties and dangers of an unknown and often hostile world. This idealisation of the loved parent is especially liable to exercise a potent influence in all cases where the parent in question dies young and is therefore never subject to the criticism at the hands of his children to which he would, later on, have inevitably to some extent become exposed. In any case, however, it is not surprising that in comparison with these beautiful products of the child's imagination (for we can scarcely doubt that, here as elsewhere, the passage of time has served to embellish still further the originally exaggerated estimate of the admirable qualities of the loved parent) the actual imperfect specimens of humanity who are available as love objects in the real world have but little power of attraction[40].

It is principally from this source that there is apt to rise the fruitless search for the "ideal" man or woman--a search which is bound to end in disappointment, because the object of the search is to be found nowhere but in the distorted and idealised memories cherished in the mind of the searcher himself.

[Sidenote: Don Juanism and the search for the ideal]

It is this search for the ideal that has been found to underlie the inability to find permanent satisfaction in any individual of the opposite sex; an inability of a most distressing nature which characterises the love life of a certain class of persons[41]. These unhappy Don Juans are perpetually attracted to a fresh object by the promise of some new and indefinable charm, only to suffer disappointment as each new object in turn is found in some inexplicable way to fall short of the lover's hopes and expectations. The misery which these individuals, through their instability and faithlessness, are apt to bring not only on themselves but on the unfortunate objects of their love, is too well known to need further emphasis or description. It is, however, paradoxically enough, the extreme steadfastness of their love towards its original object that is the cause of their fickleness towards all subsequent objects of affection.

[Sidenote: "Myth of the birth of the hero"]

As a result of this same process of idealisation, it may also happen that the realisation of the true nature of the real parents when compared with the beings corresponding to them in imagination, may give rise to feelings of very bitter disappointment. This disappointment is an experience so widespread and of such deep emotional significance as to have found expression in a frequently recurring type of myth and legend, which has received illuminating treatment at the hands of Freud and Rank[42]. In these myths (of which the stories connected with Moses, Perseus, Œdipus, Romulus, Cyrus, Christ, Siegfried, Lohengrin afford typical examples) a child is born of noble or divine parentage, but for some reason (usually connected with hostility on the part of the father) is lost or otherwise severed from his rightful home, and is reared by foster parents of lowly station (or sometimes by animals), only to be eventually restored to the position which is by birth his due. Here the foster parents of the myth correspond to the real parents as they are revealed to the disappointed insight of the child who, with widening experience of his human environment, begins to realise the discrepancy between the actual position of his parents in the world of men and the ideal qualities with which his infant's fancy had endowed them. Unwilling however to give up the lofty conception of his parents' dignity which he had formed for himself (the abandonment of which involves of course not only a loss of cherished ideals as regards his parents, but a serious readjustment of his views as to his own prospects and importance[43]), the individual finds in the noble parents of the myth the re-embodiment of those conceptions which had become untenable as regards the real world. The series of legends (in so far as they immediately concern us here) thus serve to express the persistence in the Unconscious of the original infantile idealisation of the parents as a consolation for the loss of the parent ideal which an appreciation of the actual human imperfections of the parents has inevitably brought in its train.

[Sidenote: Exaggerated love concealing hate]

The manifestations of the hate, as distinct from the love, elements of the Œdipus complex, may also, when subjected to repression in the course of moral development, assume a negative form--in this case usually appearing as a morbid and exaggerated, but of course relatively superficial, love for the hated parent; a love which constantly tends to find expression in somewhat forced and unnatural exhibitions of affection. This superficial love is often accompanied by an unreasoning anxiety as to the welfare of the parent in question and a persistent dread lest he or she should come to some harm. This symptom merely constitutes a form of repression of the unconscious wish that the parent _should_ come to some harm. Persons afflicted with a neurotic anxiety of this kind will frequently suffer very greatly at the death of the parent concerning whom the anxiety is felt; for this event constitutes the supreme gratification of the unconscious and repressed desires, thus calling for an exceptionally vigorous effort on the part of the repressing force in its endeavour to substitute in consciousness an emotion of the opposite quality to that which would be felt if the repressed tendencies held undisputed sway.

[Sidenote: Open parent-hatred]

Quite frequently however--in this respect unlike the love tendencies--the hate impulse may manifest itself with a very considerable degree of frankness and directness, leading to openly hostile relations to the parent, which may persist throughout life. In such cases it will usually be found that the original hatred as a consequence of jealousy or envy has been supplemented by vindictive feelings arising from a (real or imaginary) attitude of cruelty or tyranny on the part of the hated parent towards the child or towards some third member of the family, to whom the child's love and sympathy has gone out.

This notion of cruelty and tyranny is indeed apt to play a very important part in the attitude of children towards their parents. The almost boundless power and authority which the parent possesses over the very young child, combined with the fact that this authority must often be exercised (even by the most indulgent and considerate parents) in what appears to the child a most arbitrary manner and one which displays a ruthless disregard of his own desires and longings--all this may bring about a sense of oppression and of being the victim of a system of brutal force. Such feelings can only be removed by a strong counter-impulse of affection and a gradual understanding and assimilation of the parent's point of view, as mental growth proceeds. If the original feeling of hostility arising from the conflict between the parent's will and that of the child should not be overcome--as may easily happen, if (through some deficiency of tender feeling in the child himself or as the result of some genuine want of consideration on the part of the parent) the child should experience no compensatory emotion of love towards the parent--then the hatred thus aroused may persist with unabated vigour into adult life, or even grow in strength as the years pass. The extraordinarily intense bitterness which may be felt, for instance by a son towards his father, may easily be realised by a study of a number of well known literary works, _e. g._ many of the poems of Shelley.

[Sidenote: Conflicting interests of parents and children]

Another, but a later and usually less deep seated, cause of hostile feelings in children towards their parents, is to be found in the natural and to some extent inevitable competition of the successive generations for the available sources of wealth and power. This motive is apt to be experienced more strongly among the relatively wealthy classes than among the relatively poor, with whom under existing social conditions the children may at a comparatively early age attain to an economic position little if at all inferior to that of their parents. In many well-to-do families, however, the prospect of succeeding at the death of the parent to a considerable sum of money, a title, or a recognised business, social, or professional position, will frequently supply a motive for secretly desiring the death of that parent--a motive which of course usually suffers a very considerable degree of repression, but which nevertheless may constitute a factor of importance in the determination of the total psychic attitude of the child towards the parent. This is especially liable to be the case where for any reason--_e. g._ an extravagant mode of life on the part of the child or a want of generosity on the part of the parent--the resources at the disposal of the former are markedly insufficient for the satisfaction of his needs (real or supposed), or again where the lack of adequate funds is felt as a hindrance to some important step in life, such as entering upon a marriage or upon some business enterprise. Here the contrast between the economic impotence of the child as compared with the greater resources of his parents--coming, as it is apt to do, just at the period of his most urgent desires and most ardent aspirations--is only too likely to resuscitate the dead relics of infantile envy and hostility. Such a revival, by the circumstances of later life, of hate engendered during early years, can only be with certainty avoided where the remains of such hatreds are no longer persistent as distinct and powerful trends in the unconscious, but have worked themselves off naturally and have lost their power by absorption in the main tendencies and interests of a healthy personality.

[Sidenote: Hatred of the parent of the child's own sex]

In a number of cases hatred may be felt, not--as usually happens--towards the parent of the same sex as that of the child, but towards the parent of the _opposite_ sex. This abnormality may arise in some cases from a general tendency to homosexuality on the part of the child, in which case he is apt to suffer from an "inverted Œdipus complex", as Ferenczi has termed it; love being felt towards the parent of the same sex and jealousy towards the parent of the opposite sex; the emotions being of the same quality as those met with in the usual form of the complex but opposite in direction. Quite apart, however, from any tendency to sexual inversion, the hatred of the parent of the opposite sex may, in other cases, arise secondarily as a consequence of the natural tendency of this parent to display affection towards the other parent (_i. e._ from the child's point of view, to give undue attention to a sexual rival). The hatred thus secondarily aroused towards the original object of love may manifest itself openly in consciousness or may suffer various degrees of repression, in the same manner as the more usual hatred towards the parent of the same sex. The importance and interest of this secondary hatred lies principally in its influence on certain forms of displacement to which we shall have to refer in a later chapter.

FOOTNOTES:

[Footnote 32: An excellent condensed treatment of many of the effects of incestuous fixation will be found in K. Abraham's "Die Stellung der Verwandtenche in der Psychologie der Neurosen." _Jahrbuch für psychoanalytische und psychopathologische Forschungen_, 1909, I., 110.]

[Footnote 33: In a rather extreme case known to the writer a woman of about 35 had never been able to leave home without the most intense feelings of sorrow and loneliness, which usually impelled her to return precipitately after the absence of a day or two. In childhood she could seldom be induced to go more than a mile or so from her home unless accompanied by her parents and in later life neurotic symptoms were developed which effectually prevented her from living apart from her nearest relatives. As was to be expected, analysis revealed a very strong parent fixation, and after treatment she was able to fill a responsible post in a town far removed from the residence of her family.]

[Footnote 34: _Cp._ M. Steiner, "Die funktionelle Impotenz des Mannes und ihre Behandlung," 1913.

Freud, "Beiträge zur Psychologie des Liebeslebens." _Jahrbuch für psychoanalytische und psychopathologische Forschungen_, 1912, IV, 40.

Ferenczi, "Contributions to Psycho-Analysis," 9.]

[Footnote 35: Even if marriage is at first apparently successful, it may be unable to stand the strain of circumstances which would present little or no difficulty in the absence of parent fixation. Thus in a case known to me, after a happy honeymoon spent near home, a wife proved unable to accompany her husband to a distant locality, where business affairs necessitated his residence but (in spite of his protests and entreaties) turned back while on the journey and returned to live with her parents. It appeared that she had very seldom left home before her marriage, having been brought up by kindly but indulgent parents, as regards whom there was a strong emotional fixation. In her youth she had only travelled once without her parents, being then so miserably unhappy that she begged to be sent home again as soon as possible.]

[Footnote 36: _Cp._ especially Ferenczi, "Contributions to Psycho-Analysis," 250.]

[Footnote 37: In the case of a woman, the record of whose analysis was kindly shown to me by Dr. E. M. Cole, there appears to have been a complete father fixation (with corresponding hatred of the mother) at one level and at a lower and more unconscious level an equally complete mother fixation (with all the indications of an "inverted" Œdipus complex), the two levels being characterised by a predominance of heterosexual and homosexual tendencies respectively.]

[Footnote 38: In three cases of homosexual tendencies in men which I have recently had the opportunity of studying, the desire to be used by the father as a sexual objective was quite clearly apparent. _Cp._ Freud's "Aus der Geschichte einer infantilen Neurose." Sammlung kleiner Schriften zur Neurosenlehre. IV. 578 ff.]

[Footnote 39: "Contributions to Psycho-Analysis," 250 ff.]

[Footnote 40: _Cp._ Rank, "The Myth of the Birth of the Hero," 1913.]

[Footnote 41: Freud, "Beiträge zur Psychologie des Liebeslebens," _Jahrbuch für psychoanalytische und psychopathologische Forschungen_, 1910, II, 389.]

[Footnote 42: See Rank, _op. cit._, also the more recent treatment by the Questionnaire method by Edmund S. Conklin, "The Foster-Child Fantasy," _American Journal of Psychology_, 1920, XXXI, 59.]

[Footnote 43: There can be no doubt that this is a factor of very considerable significance. The child projects on to its parents its own desires, ambitions and aspirations, thus finding compensation for the gradual realisation of its own deficiencies, limitations and want of power (in much the same way as parents in their turn find consolation for their own disappointments in contemplating the successes--real or anticipated--of their children. _Cp._ below Ch. XIV.). In this way certain of the Narcissistic impulses find displaced expression in the idealisation of the parents and the exaggeration of their powers--a factor which probably plays a part of great importance in the Psychology of Religion (_Cp._ below Ch. XIII.).

The following incident in connection with a young boy personally known to me amusingly illustrates the tendency to substitute an ideal parent for a (disappointing) real one, together with the religious and Narcissistic implications of this tendency. S. F., aged 7, insisted on being called Jesus Christ, in spite of the remonstrations of his father who pointed out to him among other things that Jesus Christ was the Son of God; to which S. F. replied "So am I." On receiving the reply: "You cannot be, for _I_ am your father," he retorted, "God is my real father, you are only my _professional_ father" (referring to the fact that his father was a "professional" musician).]